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Sep
15

Reasons Why Children Do What They Do – Part 2

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shutterstock_231125878Question: I ask my son to go tell my daughter to come down for dinner, and he stays where he is and yells for her, why?
Answer: Your children require constant strenuous use of their vocal cords for proper maintenance and growth. Or kids are just lazy and do not want to do anything they do not need to do. Yes, you are quite capable of yelling up the stairs for your daughter, but your son does not think of this, he thinks, ‘what is the quickest way from point A to point B?’ For this situation, yelling gets him back to searching for Pokemon or battling dragons a whole lot faster than actually walking up the stairs and looking for his sister.
Solution: This might end up being an example of follow-by-example or constant not stop nagging every single time, your choice. If you need your child, try not to yell for them instead lead by example by going up the stairs or finding them through means other than your vocal cords. Children who do not yell…that is the dream, but not reality.

Question: Why do my children need to talk to me the moment I get on the phone?
Answer: In case you have forgotten, your little girl should be at the forefront of your thoughts at all times. Children view the person on the other end of the phone as an instigator ready to steal you away from them, and they must be stopped. Children are jealous creatures who need constant one-on-one attention from their parents. Cats are the same way, at least the kids rarely stick their bottom in your face.
Solution: When I know I am expecting an important phone call I tell the children if they interrupt me they will regret it, this usually thwarts the attempts to divert my attention. If a call takes me by surprise, my children know if they talk to me when I am on the phone they are going straight to time-out until my phone call is finished. After one 45 minute conversation with my brother two of the three children learned quickly I mean business, I am consistent, and I do not back down.

Question: Why does my son eat shredded cheese out of the bag in the fridge and leave a trail of evidence?
Answer: Shredded cheese spoils quickly (especially when the bag is not sealed properly by sneaky children) and should be eaten quickly to prevent waste. See, you were getting angry, and your son is just trying to be helpful! Besides, cheese is so good it should be considered a food group, and your son is a growing boy after all. The real problem might be that you are depriving him of vital nutrients necessary for his growth. More likely, though, your child is a slob just like mine and well most of the children around the world. They simply need to be taught the table is a better location for eating cheese.
Solution: My little cheese connoisseur was denied cheese for two weeks after I found a trail of cheese from the top shelf to the cabinets closest to the refrigerator. He decided to disobey me and sneak a slice of cheddar, and I added another week to the punishment. Once again consistency is important and not backing down. When we had tacos during his punishment his were sans cheese, along with a few other meals. His cheese withdrawals were so bad after three weeks I think he was physically shaking, but he never leaves cheese trails for me anymore.

Question: Why does my daughter throw a tantrum when she doesn’t get her way?
Answer: Children have extremely short attention spans, but sadly when they set their sights on something and do not get their way they practically grow horns. Your toddler does not have control of her emotions yet, they are not trying to ruin your life or embarrass you; they just want to get their way, NOW! However, their little displays of selfishness are in fact, embarrassing in public and tend to rule the show. They stretch mom’s nerves to the brink of insanity and make for long days that even coffee cannot help.
Solution: Taming tantrums will take time, patience, and growth. But mostly what tantrums need are behavior correction. Your beautiful little girl does not know how to behave you have to teach her what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. I was given an extremely effect training tool to tuck under my belt from my aunt, veteran mother of two and aunt to many. I found this trick to be so effective my youngest, who is five, has not attempted a tantrum since. When we moved into our new house over two years ago, my little girl didn’t get her way so she started screaming and kicking thinking this would get her what she wanted. Instead, I told her if she was going to throw a fit she was going to throw an epic tantrum to MY standards and not hers, her standards were too low; we knew she could do better. I made her kick harder, scream louder, hit the wall harder and longer. After several minutes she was begging to be done with her tantrum, but I did not give in, I made her continue the tantrum to my standards for a few more moments and she has not thrown another in over two years.

Question: Why does my son have to run his fingers over everything and touch everything?
Answer: Your sweet boy likes his fingerprints and assumes everyone else does too, so he isn’t touching everything, he is leaving a trail of prints. Maybe this is like leaving a trail of bread crumbs like Hansel and Gretel. If he ever gets lost, you can follow his trail of blurry prints with a fluorescent flashlight! Or, your child has yet to learn fingerprints make things dirty, spread germs, ruin stainless steel appliances, creates more work for mom, and are just flat out annoying. The need to touch is simply too overwhelming.
Solution: My son kind of outgrew this stage as did my daughters (unless it’s toys at the toy store). My suggestion to parents dealing with this obnoxious behavior would be to have your child go and clean whatever it is they have decided to graze their fingers across. My son uses to have to clean the stainless steel refrigerator, windows, mirrors, etc. He didn’t enjoy the cleaning much and decided it was in his best interest to keep his grubby little paws to himself.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Adrina Palmer is a stay-at-home-mom to three wonderful children and a wife to an amazing husband. She has a bachelors degree in Religion from Liberty University and is currently writing her first novel. Adrina is a Christian hoping to help other stay-at-home moms find the joy and simplicity as a mother and wife. In her free time she enjoys many crafts, writing, spending time with family, and reading. She would love to hear from you!

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