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My Strategy for Destruction


SatanguestToday’s Guest Blogger:  Lucifer

Today we feature a special guest-blogger.  His worldwide impact and diverse works include the Holocaust, mass murder, politics, North Korea, and even sin in general.  His exploits are famous and too numerous to count. but he’s here today to talk about some of the practical strategies and techniques that made him a household name.  So, without further ado, I introduce to you today’s  feature guest-blogger:  Satan.

Hello Readers,  I was asked to contribute an article to describe some of the ways I attack dads.  Your usual “Do the Dad Thing” writer is well intentioned to help Dads practically apply the principles of the [:shudder:] Bible in practical parenting.  I guess he thought that having me describe my attack strategy would help you be prepared.  He’s an idealistic fool.

His purpose for writing this column runs exactly opposite of my own.  But clearly Brad has recognized that it’s good to hear the viewpoint of someone considered an expert on the topic of dads.   Whereas Brad writes about helping dads, a large part of my existence is in destroying dads.

Some of you may know this already, but that is what I do; destroy.  To quote that tired old tome, [*sigh] the Bible, I’m described as “prowling like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.”  And, I guess that description is pretty accurate; I look for opportunities to destroy people.

In particular I work in misleading, or untruth.  “Father of Lies” is a term sometimes used to describe me, but I feel that the word ‘lies’ seems so “Baptist” and sounds so ‘harsh.’  Most humans destroy by violence; they want to destroy someone, they bash people over the head or shoot them.  But honestly, shooting or bashing just injures a body.  What I do is an art, where I apply an array of words and innuendo, and feelings, and warped logic, sometimes even misplaced truth, all in varying degrees, to derail a person at a spiritual level.  I can destroy the core of a person.  And I’m a maestro at this art of untruth.  I’ve done it since the beginning.  Not to give away too many trade secrets, but I really am skilled at watching and waiting.  The best time for me to apply my craft is when a person is at their lowest.  So, sometimes I wait, and wait.  I wait for that one day, where a person is low, and tired, and had conflict at their job or school.  Sometimes I even work several angles at once and successfully prompt people into conflict and lack of sleep and resources just so the situation is perfect.  Then, the right lie slides right in to truly destroy a person.

You usual author, Brad, is a good case study and a pretty challenging mark.  He’s a believer, a Christ [:shudder:] follower kind of person.  He’s married and has two kids; pretty typical family and socio-economic status.  His spiritual beliefs make him a difficult target.  But honestly, that’s what gives me a sense of fulfillment.  Sure there are people out there that are not following Christ.  They are easy.  In fact, they are already being destroyed without me lifting a finger.  Too easy.  The ones that really crack me up are the people trying to ‘be good’ that don’t have God as their lord.  That detestable book, the Bible, gives away all my secrets.  Matthew 12:30 points out, “if you are not for me, you are against me.”  Jesus [:shudder:] spelled it out so plainly and still people fall for it.  Being good to try in get into heaven is one of my best lies . . .  or should I actually say, ‘untruths.’

Back to the Washburn human.  To break him down, I’d have to work at his family in layers.  First, I had to subtly create some stress so that the family got busier and busier.  ‘Busy’ is one of the greatest tools in my contemporary arsenal.  I can get a family like the Washburns to be tired, cranky, overwhelmed, and distracted just by creating busyness.

Truth be told (these English expressions crack me up) one of the greatest ways to create busyness is with over commitment.  But I feel a little like some of these topics are actually going to be discussed in this blog in the future, and I don’t want to make my job harder.  So let’s just pretend I didn’t say that.

When a family like the Washburns gets busy and stressed, one of the first things they begin to cut out are the things that could defeat me.  They quit praying.  They quit reading the Word of God.  They stop going to church.  Even though these things are probably some of the most important in keeping me distant, they rationalize them all away because they are so busy and stressed.

Then, it’s just a matter of watching and waiting.  There will be that day where their teenage son is approached by a kid at school offering some vice -I’ve got a million of them to use, or there will be a day where Brad says something really insensitive to his wife -he is SO good at that, or a time where I get a person to steal their lawnmower – yes, sometimes I really enjoy my job.

And there it is; the point where one of them is at their lowest and I can sweep in with a lie.  Here are some of my favorite in no particular order:

They don’t love you

You are worthless

You are nobody

God’s happy with you no matter what you do

You aren’t working hard enough

I can tailor a lie for any situation.  I’m that good.

I’m not sure why Brad wanted me to guest write an article.  Does that surprise you?  One of the popular notions is that I can read minds.  Myself and my minions don’t have any such power.  We are really good at ‘assessing’ people though, and we’ve been working with humans for a long time.  God has it easy.  He can “discern our thoughts from afar.”  Whatever.

I suspect that Brad probably wants to use this for Dads all over the world to realize my plan and how easy it is for me to distract a family and set them up for destruction.  But, it’s all clearly outlined in the Bible, and if people aren’t reading that, then how is his blog, no matter how superbly written, going to make a difference?

If I were you, I’d just go on with my busy life as if you didn’t read first-hand about my job and techniques.  I think I hear a ‘to do’ list calling you. Ha ha!



ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Brad Washburn is a father, husband, and Director of a Christian counseling center in Tampa, Florida. He has helped hundreds of people over the last 15 years. In particular, he desires to see fathers be “men after God’s own heart” — a description of King David in the Bible who was a lover, fighter, sheep herder, and harp player . . . .
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