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Mammograms and Marriage


pam-mammogramNow there’s a snappy title!  Seriously, I thought of this while at the doctor’s office this morning.  I was getting my annual mammogram.  Now, say “Ouch” all together with me ladies! Yes, it hurt as usual, but with practically 80% of all the females on my mother’s side of the family tree having had breast cancer, I have to.

Because I am still here, I get to go, so it really is a blessing to  get the mammogram done.  I’m not complaining.  I heard of a co-worker (from 20 years ago) that breast cancer recently claimed. I’d like to stick around a bit longer, all selfish reasons of course if at all possible.

So, during the exam, the nice young Asian attendant (forgive me, I don’t know what her title was-tech? nurse?) and I chatted about stuff.  It turns out, she is going to be married this summer.  She asked me a few questions about marriage and I was happy to oblige her.  She was surprised when I told her I’ve seen lots of older couples (married 25+ years or more) who want a divorce.

I said, “we take care of our cars, get job reviews, and get yearly mammograms, but we don’t take the time to check the state of our marriages”.  She agreed with me, I’m guessing because it’s a true statement.  But we can check on it.

We can go for a “yearly marital checkup”.  There’s even a website: that we can access.  For the price of a modest dinner we and our husbands can take an electronic check up on our marriage.   It’s quite easy, somewhat painless, and the results can point out any possible budding problems.  Just like my mammogram will do. I will be getting a letter in 1-2 weeks saying that all is well.  Or all is not well, and an ultrasound will be the next step.

I know mammograms are not fun, they do hurt, and they may or may not catch all the possible cancer spots.  But  they do catch some.  You can have a great job review and still get fired or let go.  Nothing in this world is perfect or foolproof.  Having said that, though, I still think it’s the best course of action when it comes to mammograms: get those yearly exams, do your own self exam.  And when it comes to your marriage:  See a marital counselor for an assessment.  Don’t wait!

We chatted briefly about her family being very close and his family not so much.  That will take some getting used to and some compromising will be in order.  My exam was done before I knew it.  She stated she was so happy to have me as her first client for the day and got some good information.   I had such a fun and enjoyable chat that  I forgot to congratulate her on her upcoming nuptials! So, Congratulations! to her and my prayer is that she will make her annual marital checkp up a priority, just like her annual mammogram.

What about you ladies? Have you had your double “M” checkups yet this year?

Don’t wait until an obvious problems comes up.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR:  Pam Bass is a wife, mom, and licensed Christian counselor, who has helped hundreds of people over the last 23 years.  She desires wives especially to be cognizant of the way the American culture can influence our stated Christian values.  Through her blog, she hopes to encourage women (in particular) to  know and trust what God tells us in His word.  Find out more at


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