CWAHM Devotional

Do Life DifferentDo Life Different
Work-at-home mom: take a deep breath and Do Life Different as you allow these devotions for work-at-home moms to fill the vacuum of your needy heart in the chaos of your busy world.
 
Order Your Copy!

CWAHM Video Devotions

Get Our Updates!

Join our monthly newsletter!

Jul
11

P-A-C

By

Pam Bass, When Marriage Matters bloggerPAC, by Pam BassNo, I’m not going to write about PAC-Man, although I did enjoy playing that video game in the 80’s. What does PAC stand for? Let me tell you: We all walk around with these invisible letters above our heads. No, really, we do! We all speak in one of three voices.

The P stands for Parental: It’s that Parental tone of voice that we usually acquire when we become parents. You know that voice: “Do your homework/Take out the trash/Brush your teeth”. We hear our parents’ voices in our own head, whether or not we are now parents. Along with those commands and directives, maybe your parents also were nurturing:

“Way to go/I know you can do that/You’re great at _______!”

The A stands for Adult. It’s that voice we usually take on somewhere between 17-25 years of age. We speak like an adult; its the tone of voice we’d use with an equal, a friend. It too can have positive or negative aspects to it. The negative Adult can be critical, condemning, or complaining a lot. The positive Adult can be encouraging, uplifting, and so on.

The C stands for Child, as you’ve probably guessed. What do children sound like? They too can be positive: “I will pick up my toys now mommy/ I love you daddy/ I did my homework.” Or they can be whining and complain: “I don’t waaaannnttt toooooo/ No, I won’t!/ Do I hhhaaavvve tttoooo??”.

So, what letter are you in, when you speak to your husband? Healthy married people stay in the Adult to Adult mode or voice. It’s the healthiest tone of voice; it’s the nicest, kindest voice we use. We use it with our girlfriends a lot. The reason I wrote about this is that I’ve seen mature, nice, adult Christian women use their Parental voice to their husband. What’s worse, is that they (sometimes) justify it by saying, “He’s my 4th child” or “He’s acting like a child!” I encourage women to be on guard against this kind of thinking. It is very disrespectful to our husbands. It teaches our kids the wrong thing. We want our little sons and daughters to respect their spouses’ don’t we ladies? Then we must model what that looks like. It begins with me, my tone of voice.

So, ask God this week to show you what voice you’re in, and how to stay in your adult voice.

Until next time, keep on trusting God!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Pam Bass is a wife, mom, and licensed Christian counselor, who has helped hundreds of people over the last 23 years. She desires wives especially to be cognizant of the way the American culture can influence our stated Christian values. Through her blog, she hopes to encourage women (in particular) to know and trust what God tells us in His word. Find out more at www.pambass.com

Leave a Reply