Interview with Britt Nicole [17:03m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (501)

I love upbeat, snappy music and I fell in love with this album right away. Britt’s voice is beautiful and the music itself draws you in. I think we’ll be hearing a lot more from this new artist!

Be sure to listen in above to hear my interview with Britt! 

~ Jill

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"Mom, can I please clean up the kitchen for you? I want you to sit down and let us do all the work." Does that sound like something from a fairy tale? Believe it or not, that was a quote, word for word, from my five-year-old daughter. In fact, it is something I hear from her often. Someone recently overheard her and said, "you need to write a book and tell people how you get them to do that!" Well, maybe not a book, but I thought it might be helpful to jot down what we have found to be effective ways to incorporate a spirit of team work among the members of our family.

Now first, the disclaimer. We are a normal family, with normal children who often exhibit selfish, sinful behaviors. We do NOT have perfect children, or anything close to it. However, we do constantly strive to produce in our family, the spirit of teamwork, unity and togetherness. The family is the basic cell of a society. We believe that if unity is not cemented there, the results are an entire nation where its members are self-seeking, self-absorbed, frightening individuals (sound familiar?) The very essence of a healthy family, and thus a healthy society, is a group of people who ultimately looks toward the needs of others, to see how they can be of use in serving someone else. That is what makes people healthy, strong, and happy. And that is one of our goals in the training of our children.

This article assumes that the children in your home are basically obedient and honoring to their parents. For if the foundations are not laid, the builder cannot build! But having established this basic principle, we can now move on to the nuts and bolts of training your children to be helpful!

The Vision:

Father must set forth the vision and then begin to implement it into the family. Since typically the mother is at home more hours of the day with the children, much of the tactile training falls on her. Her attitude, her words, and her determination are essential to the proper training of her children. The first thing you as a mother need to grasp is this vision of family teamwork. ("Where there is no vision, the people perish") You must imagine what can be, and what should be among the children in your home. Contrary to what the culture tries to convince us, children are not supposed to be lazy, or self-absorbed, or constantly entertained. We must gain a biblical perspective on what should be expected of our children. We all know (even though it is hard for us to resist), that a child given no responsibility, left to indulge himself all hours of the day, is an unhappy child, not to mention a useless citizen. There is a balance to living, especially in the life of a child. Of course there should be time to play, to romp, to discover, to pursue enjoyments; but those things MUST be balanced with a sense of service to the family, that will later transfer to a sense of service to all community. Children need to acquire the mentality that each one looks after the other…that it is good to share the load of responsibility…that we are all dependent on each other (this is a biblical doctrine that is contradictory to the humanistic thinking of our culture). So the first step is that father and mother must fully understand and embrace this vision of family team work.

Mom’s Attitude:

Besides embracing the vision of "teamship" among the family members, your attitude is crucial to the atmosphere of the home, which permeates the attitudes of your children and their willingness to work cheerfully. If you do your tasks grudgingly, you cannot expect one bit more from your children. At the heart of this willingness to work, is gratitude. Gratitude for everything. If I am tempted to grumble about all the dishes that need to be washed, instead I say (out loud so my children can hear), "I am so thankful for all these dirty dishes." Then I ask my children, "Do you know why I’m thankful?" And by now, one of them says, "Because it means we had plenty to eat". Perspective is everything. There are always things to be thankful for, and if you are in the habit of grumbling, STOP! Of course we all fall victim to the "mully-grubs" from time to time, but try not to let that sour attitude hang around for very long. Begin to verbalize thankfulness, and soon your heart will feel it. There is little more wonderful to pass on to our children than the gift of thankfulness. It is a life-changing attitude!

I often point out to my children, after hearing some tragic news story or event, how blessed we are. And even when we go through hard times ourselves, there is still so much to find that we can thank the Lord for. It really does make a huge impact on the temperment of the home. Make the words of Paul your motto: "I have been abased, and I have abounded. And I have learned that in whatever circumstance I am in, to be content."

The Power of Words:

The words that you speak to your children will largely impact the kind of children they will become, and the character they will develop. "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." It is up to you, the parents, to guide "the thinking of the heart". Words are your most powerful weapon in shaping the thinking of your children. Let me give you an example of a typical comment you may hear in our home: (Stop what I’m doing, and kneel down, looking into the child’s eyes…)"I just saw you pick up the toys that you got out. Do you know what a blessing that is to me? When you help like that, your little sisters and brothers see you, and then they want to help. What you just did was so responsible and diligent. I am so proud of the way you are a part of this team." Now, some may think that I’m going a little overboard. Overboard about what? About instilling the importance of diligence? Children LOVE the genuine praise of their parents. You can see them beam as you praise them. Of course we should make sure most of our praise focuses on character and not outward appearance or some trait they cannot control. This is a very important step in encouraging helpfulness. I attribute these "praise moments" as the most influential part of training my children to be helpful.

What about a child who struggles with being a "team member"? These children need extra amounts of praise, and sometimes discipline for their lack of cooperation. But I try to look especially hard for small steps in the right direction, and then just make a really big deal about it. You will be amazed at the difference it makes!

Another thing that works well as you praise their efforts, is to point them out to the other children, and later to their Dad. Sometimes I stop and say, "Everybody come look at ______…she is doing such a great job washing dishes!" And then I may turn to the child and say "I am so glad God gave you to us…you are a gift!"

A point to be made about the power of words, is that you can completely change a person’s habits by speaking about him the way you wish he were. Not lying, mind you, but taking every tiny opportunity to speak in a positive direction. Sometimes, if a child is struggling with completing tasks in a timely manner, I will just say one day, "Wow, you are so fast! You really got that job done in a timely manner!" And it instantly sparks the desire in them to be more efficient.

It all about expressing through various ways, that your children are valuable, that they are an important part of your family, that they are signigicant. Everyone wants to feel like his existence is meaningful….it is your job to communicate that. The tendency is to wait until they are older to communicate such things, but that is a mistake. You must begin at a very early age expressing your deepest appreciation and love to them. I think, tragically, this is one of the missing elements of modern families. Because each member is involved in his or her own pursuits, there is little time for the members to feel like they belong together, working toward a common goal. They all have different friends, different schedules, different interests–is it any wonder so many families are struggling with rebellious, angry children?

Consequenses and Rewards:

Another element of encouraing each member of the family to share in the workload, is the basic cause and effect method. When children are occasionally rewarded
for their diligent help, the behavior is reinforced. Likewise, when undesired behavior is punished, the behavior is avoided. Let me give you an example of this method: Little Johnny’s job is to take the trash out every morning, without being told. This morning, it is approaching 11 a.m. and the trash is spilling over in the floor. Little Johnny doesn’t notice this, because, well, he is little Johnny. Now you have choices…you could do the job yourself in desperation, and not even mention it to him. But all that will do is guarantee more work for yourself in the future because you have just trained him that it pays to procrastinate. The second choice you have is to nag and fuss. This one probably comes most naturally for us moms who believe that enough nagging will solve any problem. Wrong. For a little boy, nagging has detrimental consequences that get worse as he gets older. No, you need a straightforward, no-fuss approach. One option might be that you call Johnny to the trash can. Point out that his lack of diligence has created a mess in the kitchen. And then calmly and firmly explain that as soon as he does his trash chore, he will go outside and weed the driveway (or whatever other undesirable chore you can think of!) Actually, this is when I like to think of one of those chores I’ve been putting off (don’t tell the kids!) like straightening the tupperware cabinet, and utilize the opportunity to get it done! Now the results are that Johnny just learned that procrastinating on a given job buys him more jobs. Tomorrow he will think twice. Now, will the one incident solve his problem forever? Doubtful! But be consistent…remember, you are TRAINING. Training is a slow, continual process in which progress is not always readily or easily seen.

By the same token, when little Johnny happens to get up one morning and take out the trash without being reminded, pick yourself up off the floor and reward that boy!

Examples:

I really try to use a lot of real-life examples in my training. I look for other children, particularly those my children admire, and I point out the character qualities in them that I think are worthy of notice. BUT, be very careful here…if worded the wrong way, it can sound like you are comparing your child to another unfavorably. A good way to encourage through another child’s traits might be something like: "You know, I was watching _____today, and I saw him being so helpful to his sister. He opened the door for her, and helped her when she fell down. And while I was watching him, he reminded me so much of you, the way you are so helpful. Thank you for that!" We can create role models from other children in the lives of our children, which is perfectly OK, if we are careful and tactful. Our children need to look to others who possess admirable, godly traits.

Communicating Responsibility:

It is important that you begin, very early on, to communicate to your children their responsibility in the family. Remember, at first they don’t know what is required of them. It will help if they have older siblings to watch, but as soon as they are old enough to pick up a toy, they are old enough to begin to understand the concept of putting things back. Don’t get discouraged at this stage…many reminders are in order. When they are very young, under two or so, most of the training will involve putting things up with them, and talking about it while you do it. "When we get things out, we put them up. Look, let’s put your toys back in the toy box. Do you want to help me?" The greatest temptation with young children is just to do the task yourself. Try to resist that urge…instead, say, "Susie, come here please. Are these your shoes? Is there where your shoes belong? When you get something out, you are to put it back where it goes, not create work for someone else to do." Eventually, with enough persistence, she will learn to put her own things away. Again, this is also another way that she feels important. You are constantly communicating to her "I can’t do this without you". What a blessing for her to understand, at such a young age, your dependence on her!

Of course some days run a lot smoother than others; that is to be expected. But let me encourage you to be diligent in the training of your children. It takes a little longer to train them properly. But in the long run, it saves unmeasurable amounts of time, energy and will bring so much peace to your family. Do not forget to daily approach your Heavenly Father for grace and strength in this immensely important task; He will sustain you by the strength of His hand!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Kelly Crawford and her husband Aaron are the homeschooling parents of six children, and one on the way! Kelly is a free-lance writer and songwriter, and the Crawfords run a cottage industry making homemade skin products, and have just recorded a Scripture Songs CD to help families memorize God’s Word together. Kelly is also the founder of a local stay-at-home mom’s group which she began six years ago to encourage women who wanted to devote their lives to being wives and mothers. For more encouraging articles about family, children and living frugally, you can visit their web site at www.heartsforfamily.com or Kelly’s blog at http://heartsforfamily.blogspot.com

"I believe that every woman holds within her the power to change the world in some way, and it’s her responsibility to figure out what that is," said Mary Cantando, of www.WomanBusinessOwner.com. She specializes in helping women owners of multi-million dollar companies advertise their services to Fortune 500 companies.

Do you know that you can change the world? That’s why God put you here. He has a plan for each of us that enables us to take small steps toward a bigger plan. In the Bible, Paul talks about running a race. A race has a course for the runners. God gives each of us our own course to run. We see the markers and forks as we get there, and we must choose whether to take the path that leads to successful use of our talents or whether we take the path of fear and avoid the race completely.

Even the smallest successful use of our talents changes the world. "It’s like you throw a stone out on the lake of eternity and the ripples just go on and on and on. I believe every time I speak or write or have an interaction in the grocery store, everything I do is about throwing positive stones into the lake of eternity and the impact that makes on people that I will never even know," explains Mary.

"I believe that if I can help a woman grow her business, she can add one employee, then that’s not just one person, but that’s a family, that’s a community. When I stand up to speak to a room full of women, I look across this sea of faces, and I think, ‘I need one woman here today to hear one thing I’ve said, take it seriously, and go back and make one change in her business that will allow her to hire one more employee. That will impact that one family and that one community. My mission in life is to touch people who I may never eve know and make a difference in their lives," she says.

What are you passionate about? There’s at least one God-given passion, one God-given desire in each of our hearts. He wants us to live passionately. "Wow, if everyone in the world got that, imagine the state we’d be in. Just imagine if everybody was passionate about what they were doing, if everyone got up every morning to do something they really wanted to do, and if every one of those people was making a positive impact on the world, how cool would that be?" exclaims Mary.

God intends that you too should have this kind of impact. "Why were you put on this earth? Live into that to make it happen," says Mary.

It’s living passionately and with enthusiasm that makes successful Christians. Whether or not it will make you a millionaire is God’s decision, but whether or not you live your purpose passionately is your decision. When you live passionately, you wake up excited for the day and go to bed at night feeling satisfied with your accomplishments.

Lois Carrier, a financial advisor, explained, "I feel like I can sleep at night and say, ‘Thank you, God. I have taken what you’ve given me, and I’ve helped your other children with it.’ It’s not pride. It’s just that I know that I have done well in God’s eyes." She added, "I think that a lot of people wonder about that part of their lives."

What is your passion? Go out and start living it. It’s the first step toward success.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Terri Pilcher writes as a CWAHM amidst the turmoil of homeschooling five kids. Her articles have appeared in Focus on the Family publications and parenting magazines. She’s currently completing a book based on her interviews with Christian millionaires.

A long time ago, my mother gave me a plaque that said, "Keeping house while your kids are at home is like scooping snow in a blizzard." As a full time teacher and mother of two kids, ages 5 and 11, all I could do when I read the plaque was laugh. My only other option was to cry, and I couldn’t do that because my daughter had torn up all the Kleenex to make beds for her Beanie Babies.

But your situation, as a work at home mom, is harder than mine was. When I went to work, I escaped the distractions at home and focused on my role as a teacher. When I left teaching to work at home, the challenge of being everything at once – business woman, mom, wife, and housekeeper – nearly drove me crazy, even though my kids were almost grown by then.

Thankfully, the organizational skills needed to survive as a teacher and parent were a lifesaver for me as I made the transition to working at home. But I wondered how young work at home moms coped without the on-the-job training I’d learned through twenty-five years of experience. "It’s about time," I thought more than once, "for someone to write a time management column for work at home moms."
And then, while waiting for a Southwest flight to a writers’ conference, I met Jill Hart. She was going to the writers’ conference, too, and was waiting for the same flight. So we sat together on the plane and Jill described her CWAH website. I asked if she needed a columnist. She said yes. And "It’s About Time" was born.

The purpose of this column is to help you, a work at home mom, scoop your way out of the blizzard that storms through your house and threatens to bury you, your family and your home business. And since the hardest part of digging your way out of any storm is deciding what drift to attack first, that’s what we’re going to talk about this month – where to start.

As a teacher, with twenty-five little munchkins adept at creating drifts of paper blizzards, I didn’t start by attacking the papers. I started by writing lists. And I did the same thing at home where my daughter, queen of Kleenex, created drifts of Beanie Babie bedding at an alarming rate.

My husband Hiram used to think that writing a to-do list was cheating. He thought any self-respecting adult should be able to remember what to do rather than consult a list. (This trait, I believe, is related to the male sex linked never-ask-for-directions gene that won’t be discovered until some male scientist adds it to his list and consults the human genome map for directions.)

My hubby’s attitude changed when he realized that while he was trying to remember what he needed to do, I’d completed my list. Now he makes lists, too, and gets a lot more done. And as we both discovered, writing a list is very freeing. Once a list is written, there’s no more worry about forgetting, no more self-reminders, no more feelings of dread about what will happen if you forget.
Instead, you know where to begin scooping and you can get through a whole lot of drifts, especially if you follow these simple steps:

* Since writing every little thing on little scraps of paper creates a new paper blizzard, which you don’t want, use a pad of paper stuck on your refrigerator along with a calendar that hangs near your phone instead.

* As soon as you know about them, write all family and business appointments, meetings, and special events on the calendar. I like Mom’s Family Calendar (available at amazon.com) but any calendar with large daily boxes will do. If you’re a computer whiz, you can use the Microsoft Office calendar the same way.

* Every week, write your menu plans on the calendar as you prepare your grocery list.

* Every morning, take the notepad off the refrigerator and write a to-do list. Include housekeeping chores, business projects, and time to spend with your kids. Check the calendar and add anything written there to your list.

* As you write the items down, pray over them. Ask God to show you how to prioritize them.

* Once your list is complete, number the items, starting with the ones that must be done today and ending with the ones that can wait. This process gives you a place to start and makes the list less overwhelming.

* When you think your list is complete, offer it up to God. Ask Him to help you finish what needs doing. And always ask for a flexible heart that submits your agenda to His will.
Once you’ve completed these steps, start working your way through the list. Cross items off as you complete them. And when, despite your best intentions and hard work, life interrupts and you can’t complete the list, don’t get frustrated or mad. Realize that God is interrupting your day and reminding you that your ways are not His ways, and that He is answering your prayer by teaching you to submit your agenda to His.

So that’s how you start scooping your way out of your work at home blizzard. Practice this method for the next month and see if helps. But don’t get married to the method. Next month, you’ll bump up a step and learn to make your planner your best friend. For now though, use the calendar and make lists, submit your will to God’s agenda and see if the blizzards in your home and your soul subside just a little. If they do, rejoice! You’re making progress.

About the Author:
Jolene Philo is a freelance writer and speaker who lives in Boone, Iowa. She shares her house and her home office with her husband Hiram, daughter Anne, and dachshund Abby. You can learn more about her at her website, www.jolenephilo.com.

Read Luke 6:35 CEV:

Love your enemies and be good to them. Lend without expecting to be paid back. Then you will get a great reward, and you will be the true children of God in heaven. He is good even to people who are unthankful and cruel.

Has anyone ever been mean to you? Sometimes kids call each other unkind names, or make fun of each other. Maybe you’ve had someone talk about you behind your back. That hurts, doesn’t it?

When someone treats you unfairly, we usually want to treat him the same way. If you find out your friend told a lie about you, you might be tempted to make something up about her!

But guess what? Jesus says we are to love them. What? That seems topsy-turvy, doesn’t it? If kids are mean to you, you’re supposed to be good to them.

It’s easy to love people who treat you well, but of course, not so easy to love mean people. But with Jesus’ help, you can do it. He loves ALL people, and we try our best to be like Jesus. Christ’s love is the greatest in the world. If you get angry, and act like the other person, you’ll feel lousy. Wouldn’t you rather do what Jesus tells you to do?

Topsy Turvy Tip: The next time someone treats you unfairly, ask God to help you to be kind anyway, and pray for him or her. You’ll love like Jesus loves!

Life without Christ is Topsy Turvy!™

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Donna J. Shepherd looks at everyday life and finds God’s fingerprints everywhere. A columnist for The Dabbling Mum and NABBW, her articles and poetry have been published in Reminisce Extra, Just Between Us, Guideposts for Kids, Wee Ones, and more. Her devotionals appear in Daily Grace for Women (Honor Books, April 2005), and Anytime Prayers for Everyday Moms (Warner Books, November 2006).