Q: I know you don’t usually get email from guys, but I have a problem that perhaps you can give me some insight over. A couple of years ago–about a month after my dad passed away–I went back to college. Not knowing anyone there, I prayed that God would bless me by giving me a friend to talk to. On the second day of class, He answered my prayer when I met this nice girl. We soon became great friends, and she was like a sister to me. We would talk about everything. I was so grateful that God had blessed me with such a special friend. I even went to her wedding, which was a huge honor.

My problem is this: last winter, I had a misunderstanding with my friend. It’s resolved now–I hope, but I still feel bad about it because the last thing I had ever wanted to do was cause trouble in our friendship. I worry a lot that although it is resolved, our friendship will never be as close as it was.

We don’t email each other as much as we used to, and I really miss her friendship. Please don’t misunderstand, I only think of her as a friend and as a sister. God blessed me with her friendship when I needed it the most, but since our misunderstanding, I feel like I’ve let her down and failed her as a friend. I’m not sure if our friendship will ever be the same.

Do you have any advice for me to first-not feel so guilty about the misunderstanding, and second-not to worry so much about our friendship. Thank you so much for listening. May God bless you!

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A: Thanks for your email. You were right, I don’t a lot of emails from guys–it’s nice to receive a question from you.

I don’t know that the advice I’ll offer will be much different from some you’ve probably received. While the details of the misunderstanding are irrelevant, you’ll have to be at peace with it if you’ve talked about it from your heart and apologized. There’s not much more you can do unless there is still something that wasn’t discussed that is nagging at you. Only you know that answer.

I’ll have to say that as soon as I read she got married, I thought–that’s it. Even though what you have is only a friendship, once a girl gets married, even her best friendships with men will never be the same. Her husband is her man above all now. She can’t and shouldn’t tell you all the details, intimate thoughts, dreams or goals you may have once shared. Even hanging out and just chillin’ together doesn’t happen so much because that’s what her husband is for. Her husband should be her new best friend. It’s hard; I understand. It’s probably not as easy for her either. I know because had a guy for a best friend and it had to change once I got married. It simply isn’t fair to her husband. You would never want to be a source of jealousy in their relationship.

While the friendship is super important to you, I’m sure things will change for you too when you meet your wife. You’ll want to spend all of your time with her. Be patient and just let your friend know that you’re there, but give her space to care and nurture her relationship with her husband. And above all, don’t drown in guilt over things of the past. Your guilt won’t do anything but simply bring you heartache. If you have a clear conscience before God, move on.

"Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad." Proverbs 12:25

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Q:I am a 24-year-old wife and mother. While I have always had faith in God, I was not raised in a religious home. I have recently started to feel my heart being called to the Lord, although I’m not sure what direction I should be going in or how I should begin my path.

I was baptized in the Methodist faith as a baby, but my family was not practicing while I was growing up. My husband and I have started attending church on Sundays with our baby since I started feeling this calling, but I’m confused about finding the right faith within Christianity.

Is it as simple as being a Christian, finding Jesus and letting Him fill your heart, or should I be seeking a specific denomination? And how will I know it when I find it? Since I know He is reaching out to me, how can I best serve Him as merely an average wife and mother?

Thank you for any advice you may offer.

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A: I’m so happy to hear the Lord is drawing you close. Praise Him!

Finding the right faith…it sounds confusing, but it’s not as hard as it seems. Being a Christian isn’t about finding the right sect of Christianity or denomination, but it is about knowing the Lord God, repenting of sin, surrendering to self and living your life for God–giving all glory to Him.

Yes, different denominations hold different rules, traditions and even interpretations of the Bible. So how do you know what’s right? The more time you spend with Him–in prayer and reading the Bible–the more you’ll know Him. If you are attending a church that doesn’t teach the Bible, you’re in the wrong place. Sadly, so many churches are about tradition and works, and that’s not what Jesus preached.

You’d better believe you can serve God in the biggest way by being a godly wife and mother!! Don’t think for a minute there is anything average about that. It’s exactly where God wants you to be, serving your family and training your children up in His way so they’ll know the God who gave them life–the God who suffered on the cross for their sin, so they too can be in Heaven if they live a surrendered life to Christ.

I’ve posted an article at my website, written by Todd Friel on the topic of how to find a good church:
http://www.candacecameronbure.net

I hope this article will help you find the right church. And I’d encourage you to read The Way of the Master by Ray Comfort. You can purchase it at a local Christian bookstore or online at www.livingwaters.com

About The Author:

Candace is best known for her role as DJ Tanner on ABC’s hit sitcom Full House. Over the years, Candace has been on a self-imposed hiatus in support of her husband, NHL hockey star Valeri Bure and their three beautiful children, ages 4, 6 & 8.

Candace currently speaks at various churches, colleges, and outreach events throughout the year sharing her testimony and Christian faith. She has a heart for evangelism and recently traveled on a missionary trip to Ghana, Africa. Her long history of charitable work includes the Starlight Foundation, Make-A-Wish, Compassion International, Children’s Hunger Fund and Sheridan House Family Ministries.

Learn more about Candace at her website, CandaceCameronBure.net.

"The skills I’ve learned as an entrepreneur and a Chief Executive Officer have been learned through mentors and reading books. Of course, reading books isn’t really an end all," says Jordan Wirsz, a 24-year-old millionaire.

How can a 24-year-old become a millionaire when people with better educations struggle to pay the bills?

"The only thing that I think separates me from most people is that I’m willing to take action to fulfill my dreams," he says. "I don’t view myself as smarter, more talented, or more cunning than anyone else out there. I just have the passion and willingness to take action to make it a reality."

He never had any fear of taking action, because he didn’t know there was anything to fear when he started selling helicopters at the age of 14. Like a lot of young men, he decided he wanted to learn to fly a helicopter. Using the Internet, he learned as much as he could about helicopters and decided to try to buy a home built helicopter, because it was less expensive.

"I found a post where a guy had advertised a helicopter for sale, so I sent him a couple of emails. Because I was so interested in helicopters, I had learned a lot about them and knew the right questions to ask. After about two e-mails or so, I asked the gentleman, ‘What are you asking for the helicopter?’ He said, ‘$55,000.’" At the age of 14, there was no way Jordan could afford a helicopter. He wrote the helicopter owner back and explained that he was only 14 and didn’t have the money to buy the helicopter.

Instead of abandoning Jordan, the man sent another e-mail, "Well, you sound pretty intelligent. If you can sell this helicopter for me, I’ll give you $2,500." Jordan says, "I looked at that and my jaw dropped, and I said, ‘Sure’." The man took the time to write up a contract, get Jordan and his mom to sign it, and sent Jordan brochures and a video to give him the knowledge necessary to sell the helicopter.

Jordan went after his goal with a vengeance. "I spent every day on the Internet posting ads on every free aviation classified place that I could find. I started sending e-mails back and forth with people and discussing things with buyers. Before I knew it I had a buyer in Tennessee that I had never met on a conference call with the seller of the helicopter. A couple weeks later I had my check for $2,500! To me, the real miracle isn’t me. It’s a 50-year-old man saying, ‘I’m going to trust a 14-year-old to sell my helicopter,’" says Jordan.

That sale enabled Jordan to turn a corner in his life. He took that money and lost it in commodities, but he thought, "I’m going to go back to what I know. I know that I made $2,500 selling a helicopter, so I’m going to go back and do that again and again and again." He did. The helicopter sales enabled him to pay his way through flight school.

When he was 16, Jordan got into aviation. "I didn’t have the financial backing f my family, because we weren’t wealthy. I had to go out and work and immerse myself in aviation to find my way. By doing what I loved, by hanging out at the airport, and by talking to all the older guys that were hanging around the airplanes, I had opportunities to listen to what they were saying, and I took that seriously," Jordan explains.

"You’ll find that people really open up to you if you just listen," he adds. He helped them wash and wax their airplanes and ask about different parts on the airplane and what they did and how they worked. This knowledge enabled him to open Extreme Aviation, a full online store that sold helicopter and airplane parts. He sold that company when he was 18 and became a commercial airplane pilot.
Another friend became a mentor and invited Jordan to invest in Las Vegas real estate. He tried it out, loved the business, packed up his things, quit his job flying, and moved to Las Vegas. "I started learning the real estate finance game, and it took off from there," he says.

To get a mentor, "just be genuinely interested in what people have to say and the subjects they want to talk about," Jordan suggests. "Ask questions, but be very courteous of their time and understand that other people aren’t there just to ask questions for me. It’s really important to be very respectful of someone else’s time."

Today, Jordan owns Diamond Bay Investments, and his first book, The Maverick Millionaire, appeared on the market June 1. Jordan adds, "I wouldn’t be where I am without mentors."

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Terri Pilcher writes as a CWAHM amidst the turmoil of homeschooling five kids. Her articles have appeared in Focus on the Family publications and parenting magazines. She’s currently completing a book based on her interviews with Christian millionaires.

If you didn’t have time to read it, the title of my July CWAHM column, Where to Start Scooping Snow in a Blizzard, may seem seemed a bit strange to you. But if you did read it and you began to use a to-do list and family calendar consistently, give yourself a pat on the back. If it helped you de-drift your house, even a little, you may be ready for an upgrade. It’s about time for you to dabble with a daily planner.

A To-Do List on Steriods
A daily planner is used in conjunction with your family calendar. You keep your family calendar, but after you learn to use a planner, it replaces the to-do list stuck on your refrigerator. The planner is a to-do list on steroids. It’s portable, versatile and easy to update every year. And once you get into the habit of using it, you’ll be more productive.

Now please understand that I am a fairly recent personal planner convert. During my teaching years, I used a lesson plan book and the daily memo book, but I never used a planner at home. For twenty-five years I planned like a fiend at work, but at home I made do with a family calendar and a to-do list on the refrigerator.

Once I started a home business, the to-do list and family calendar system frustrated me because they weren’t big enough tools to organize both home and work. I had no way to schedule, prioritize and integrate housekeeping and parenting tasks with home business duties. Therefore, I got very little done. But, when I learned to use a planner, my productivity increased and my frustration decreased.

Start Small and Slow
I started small and slow with my planner, and I advise you to do the same. Visit an office supply store or surf the web to get an idea of different styles and formats before purchasing anything. August and September are great months to browse and compare because that’s when planners and refills for the upcoming year hit the stores. Buy the smallest planner available that still meets your needs. The planner you choose should be stocked with the following:

* A tabbed month-at-a-glance calendar.

* One year weekly pages (two pages per week) or one year daily pages (one page per day) or one year daily pages (two pages per day). Choose the format that best matches your business and home needs.

* A tele-file where you can record information for business contacts, family and friends.

If you purchase a planner this fall, all the pages in a planner purchased should be preprinted for the upcoming year. Of course that means you can’t start using it until January. If you want to begin immediately, you have a couple options. You can buy blank refill monthly calendar and daily pages and fill in dates for the next few months. Or you can go to http://office.microsoft.com and click on "Templates." If you browse the templates for calendars and planners, you can download pages and print what you need for the rest of this year.

A Planner Exercise Routine
Once you have a planner, follow these steps to learn how to use it. Think of the steps below as your planner exercise routine.

1. Commit a few minutes every morning to your planner. Get up a few minutes before the kids do so you can concentrate. If you have a morning quiet time try ending it with planning and then pray over your plans.

2. In pencil, record the appointments, meetings, and special events written on your family calendar on your planner’s monthly calendar and visa versa. It takes less time to double record than it does to flip and scan daily pages to find where things are recorded.

3. Create a to-do list on the daily page. Again, do this in pencil.
* Record anything written on the monthly calendar for today.
* Note upcoming deadlines and write what must be done today to meet it.
* Transfer uncompleted items from yesterday’s page.
* List business, housekeeping and Mom tasks.
* Add something you will do for yourself.
* Prioritize the list in numerical or chronological order.
* Pray and commit the list to God.

4. If you are using the one or two page per day format, your planner will get fat and heavy if you put all the pages in it. Put two months’ worth in your planner. When a new month begins, remove the previous month’s pages and add the next month’s.

Here are two final tips. First, take your planner everywhere with you. That way you won’t forget to record things as they occur and you’ll avoid double-booking appointments and events. Second, record contact information in the tele-file in pencil. You can then update contact information so your tele-file will never be out of date or need to be replaced.

Patience is a Virtue
Remember to be patient as you implement the steps and tips above. It takes time
to develop a new habit, about six weeks according to research, so stick with it. Once your planner makes you feel more organized, it will become indispensible.

If you want more ideas about how to use a planner, look for time management books at the library. Many dedicate an entire chapter to planners and calendars. I recommend Confessions of an Organized Homemaker by Deniece Schofield (Betterway Books; Cincinnati, Ohio). Despite the dated book title, her chapter, "Calendars, To-Do Lists and Schedules," gives more ideas about how to organize and use a planner than any other book I’ve read.

If you don’t feel comfortable doing more on your own, spend the next few months slowly implementing the planner basics listed above. Then in January, we’ll revisit planners and learn to add a few more bells and whistles.

Next month, with a new school year starting, the column will tackle all the school stuff your kids will tote home. You and your child will learn to create keeper piles and throw piles. And you’ll develop a manageable storage system for the things you keep. Until then, enjoy the last weeks of summer, and don’t forget. When you go to buy school supplies, sneak a peak at the planners, too!

About the Author:
Jolene Philo is a freelance writer and speaker who lives in Boone, Iowa. She shares her house and her home office with her husband Hiram, daughter Anne, and dachshund Abby. You can learn more about her at her website, www.jolenephilo.com.

Read Job 31:4 NLT:

Doesn’t he see everything I do and every step I take?

My family moved right before I entered second grade. I didn’t want to change schools. I might get lost in a different school building. Would I make friends? Would my new teacher be nice?

Soon it will be time for the school year to begin. Maybe you feel like I did - a little scared.

Do you know you can pray for your teacher, your new classmates, and even your principal, now? That seems topsy-turvy to pray for people you haven’t even met yet, doesn’t it?

But we can pray like this because the Bible tells us God knows everything (1 John 3:20). He knows the past, present and future. He already knows who your teacher will be, the friends you’ll make, and will be with you every step of the way.

Psalm 37:23 says, "The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives."

When you feel afraid, remember - God loves you and is right there with you. He knows all about you.

Topsy Turvy Tip: Nothing that happens in your life will ever surprise God.

Life without Christ is Topsy Turvy!™

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Donna J. Shepherd looks at everyday life and finds God’s fingerprints everywhere. A columnist for The Dabbling Mum and NABBW, her articles and poetry have been published in Reminisce Extra, Just Between Us, Guideposts for Kids, Wee Ones, and more. Her devotionals appear in Daily Grace for Women (Honor Books, April 2005), and Anytime Prayers for Everyday Moms (Warner Books, November 2006).