Q: Hi Candace, I’m a 29-year-old wife, and mother of three beautiful children. I have been raised in church all my life. We never missed a service. Every time the doors were open my family was present. Not only did we stay in church, but the life my parents and grandparents live are Christ-like, they have set the very BEST example anyone could for me, and still yet I struggle. I don’t understand it.

I have the desire so much to follow Christ with all my heart and to seek what it is that He has for me. I want to be an example for my children to follow as they grow up. I know that kids are more likely to do, as they see done, and not as they’re told. I feel as though I’ve lost my fire. I want to love the Lord with all my heart, and with all my soul and with all my mind. I just feel lost sometimes.

I feel as if I don’t recognize myself anymore from the young girl I once was. When I was in Bible College I was on fire. I read my Bible every day, and I had the desire to sit down and sup with the Lord. I feel I’ve lost that fire, or I feel as a mom that I just can’t find the alone time with Him. It’s so hard for me to let others take care of my kids and help me with things so I can fellowship with the Lord.

We’re new to the church that we are attending now, and my husband and I don’t agree 100% on the style of church we should attend. I want so badly for us both to be involved in church, but he doesn’t see it exactly the way I do. Please can you give me any advice on my rambling?

I’m just a normal everyday country girl, and so I’m not really good at writing a story, but I know where I need help and I saw your website and thought I’d ask you. You and your brother are an inspiration to me. I grew up with watching you on T.V. and it’s so exciting that now we can share the same faith. Thank you for your advice in advance.

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A:Thanks so much for your email. I too have times in my life where my walk with the Lord is on fire only to have the heat turned down for a few months. I wonder why this happens myself. But rest assured, it happens to most of us. I don’t ever lose my love for the Lord, but my zeal…yes. I get caught up with Val, the kids, summer plans, school, traveling, speaking–all the things that are important, but only to take my attention off God for a while. And I hate when I allow everything else to take priority over my time with God.

It’s like Paul said in Romans 7:15 "For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do." (I encourage you to read Romans 7:13-25).

I too have not spent the time I wanted to and should have this summer with the Lord. And I’ve felt my flame get dim. My dear friend lovingly tells us in our Bible study group every so often to keep our eyes fixed on the Lord so we don’t get off track. She relates it to swimming in the ocean. If you ever have, you’ll know that the current will continually push you left or right. You have to keep your eyes focused on your spot at shore (where your towel is- or in our kids case–mom and dad) or else you’ll lose site of where you are as the current sweeps you away. It’s never intentional, but nevertheless, it happens.

We need to do that with God. Keep our eyes fixed on Him, because with our every day activities we get swept up in our tasks and lose site of our place with Him. Getting that flame lit? Well, if you’re anything like me, I start praying about it every day when I realize I’m slipping. And when I get to the point I don’t think I’ll get revved up again, the Lord tugs at my heart. He often takes me to a place of emptiness for me to know that only He can fill me up. And there’s nothing like a good gut wrenching sermon to give me a humbling kick in the butt to remember what Christ did for me.

Most importantly, you HAVE to schedule time with the Lord. If it means waking up a half hour early before you get the kids up, then that’s what you do. I know I have to hit my knees as soon as I roll out of bed each morning or my day just won’t be right. I don’t always read the Word first thing, but I make sure I put aside time every day for it. There’s no way around it. If your kids are napping or entertaining themselves for a few minutes, you have to take that opportunity to read God’s Word or pray. The laundry will still be there in 15 minutes; it’s not going to run away.

Also, I think summer time is hardest for me because that’s when my Bible study group takes a break. All of us travel, so we resume when school starts. I realize how important my small group is, meeting each week at my home. They help keep me accountable and focused.

So I would encourage you to find a small group Bible study through your church, or if you know 4 or 5 women that would be interested in meeting at one of your homes each week. Fellowship and study with other believers is something I believe God intended for us to do.

Church styles? Try to find a church you’re both happy with. I’ll tell you to lean towards your husband’s style if it doesn’t kill you. Better to go to church together with a style you’re not as impressed with than not go at all. But I cautiously warn you to make sure it’s a solid Bible teaching church. If it doesn’t hold true to the Bible, then I would continue looking for a church. You can find an article on how to find a good church on my website.

I hope this helps and is an encouragement to you.

About The Author:

Candace is best known for her role as DJ Tanner on ABC’s hit sitcom Full House. Over the years, Candace has been on a self-imposed hiatus in support of her husband, NHL hockey star Valeri Bure and their three beautiful children, ages 4, 6 & 8.

Candace currently speaks at various churches, colleges, and outreach events throughout the year sharing her testimony and Christian faith. She has a heart for evangelism and recently traveled on a missionary trip to Ghana, Africa. Her long history of charitable work includes the Starlight Foundation, Make-A-Wish, Compassion International, Children’s Hunger Fund and Sheridan House Family Ministries.

Learn more about Candace at her website, CandaceCameronBure.net.

"There was a janitorial custodial individual in the Detroit county schools about 10 or 15 years ago, and he made news upon his death because he gave a million dollars to the United Negro College Fund tells. He never made more than 30,000 dollars a year. His attitude toward money was different than other people who have that same amount of income and spend their entire life saying, ‘I never have enough money. I never make enough money.’ It’s not how much you make, it’s how you leverage what you have," explains Catherine Eagan, a multimillionaire entrepreneur, former Vice President and Private Banking Officer, ordained minister, and financial coach.

More of us could do this if we had a little financial intelligence. If our parents didn’t teach us how money works (and chances are that they don’t know either), we probably will never learn how to manage our money. We’ll be strapped for cash our entire lives.

"The school systems do us a disservice," says Catherine, "You can matriculate through 12 grades and never learn the practical task of managing money, and yet it’s something you do your entire life."

After twenty years enjoying her work in the commercial lending department of a bank, Catherine realized that God wanted her to combine her love of finance with her love of teaching. "I believe I am called to help raise up the financial intelligence quotient so that people can really manage resources appropriately and as a result achieve success. It’s not how much you make, it’s how effectively you manage," she says.

Many women rely on men to take care of the finances for them, but because 50% of women get divorced and almost all of the rest outlive their husbands, every woman must deal with money at some point in her life. Catherine says, "No woman should look to a man to solve her financial intelligent quotient."

It’s a shame when we let men take care of our money, because research shows that women make more money at investing than men do. "When women actually begin to take on the mantle to invest, research shows that women are more profitable in investing than men, because they are less emotionally driven than men," Catherine explains, "Men tend to take a higher level of risk and get in and out of different things, where women are more methodical."

Through her free Wealthy Women seminars, Catherine teaches women about all aspects the financial world. She covers real estate investing, paying off debt, stocks, bonds, index funds, and more. She says, "I teach very practical information you can use almost immediately. How to buy a car, how to buy a home, how to look at rates, how to negotiate a deal. All of the basic, practical personal finance information that an individual should know, period."

In addition, she covers information essential to today’s entrepreneurs. In the future, Catherine plans to talk about, "global economics and what that means for the United States of America. I think we are now truly in a global economy. People need to have a good working knowledge of what that means and be globally equipped financially. Otherwise, they may end up running into financial problems because they aren’t prepared for what it means to be a 21st century mom, employee or entrepreneur."

Sign up for the free Monday night Wealthy Woman Teleseminar at: http://www.catherineeagan.com/TheWealthyWomen.htm.

Don’t forget to increase your financial intelligence quotient in other ways. Read books (I recommend starting with Dave Ramsey and Dr. C. Thomas Anderson, two Christian millionaires), open a small savings account that you’ll use for investing, and go to local SBA (Small Business Association) classes. We’ll keep struggling with our poverty mindset unless we learn a new way of thinking.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Terri Pilcher writes as a CWAHM amidst the turmoil of homeschooling five kids. Her articles have appeared in Focus on the Family publications and parenting magazines. She’s currently completing a book based on her interviews with Christian millionaires.

School’s been in session for a while now, just long enough for the stacks of precious school papers, lunch menus, field trip permission slips, picture order packets, lunch money reminders, monthly PTA calendars and book orders to reach nearly unmanageable proportions. If you don’t organize the mess soon, there won’t be room in your house for a tree by Christmas.

I was on paper-sending end of things as a teacher before becoming a paper-receiving parent. During those early years I learned a number of techniques, many from wise and experienced moms and teachers, that helped me handle the onslaught of papers my son brought home from kindergarten. Those techniques can help you, too. Use the list below as a guide while you sort through the papers threatening to engulf your home. In the process, you’ll create an organizational system that will work until your cute little kindergartners graduates from high school. And if you do things right, you’ll be teaching your kids management skills that will help them be more successful in school and eventually on the job.

The Right Stuff

Investing in the right stuff helps you and your child stay more organized so buy, find or create the following:

* A backpack. You need one per child.
* A designated place. Assign a place for each backpack to live when not in use – a shelf in the entryway, a hook in the coat closet, a bin by the back door, whatever. Train kids to put their backpacks in that place once schoolwork is done.
* A bulletin board. Arrange a large bulletin board high on the wall for your use, then hang smaller boards below it, one for each child if possible. If you don’t have that much room, use string or ribbon to section off a second large bulletin board and label one section per child.
* An accordion file or small plastic tub. Again, you need one per child, labeled with name and grade.
* Your personal planner and the family calendar. Yep, these are the ones mentioned during the last two months. I told you they’d come in handy!

The Right Routine

The right stuff works best if you and your kids develop a regular routine to use it. The routine outlined below provides a good starting place.

1. Have kids unload backpacks as soon as possible after arriving home. Maybe they can do it while you fix a snack. Don’t let kids turn on the TV, computer or Nintendo until this job and their homework is done. Have them make one pile of homework and a second pile of things you need to see.
2. Sort through your pile. Look over any school calendars and write important dates in your planner and on the family calendar. Tack each child’s school calendars and lunch menus on their bulletin boards. Tack information you need for the future on your board. Complete forms that need to be returned. Put any forms containing money or checks in labeled envelopes. Have kids put anything they need to return to school in their backpacks.
3. Sit with each child and go through the school papers. Tell children that they can keep as many papers as will fit in their accordion file or small plastic tub. Young children want to keep everything. As the year goes on and the file gets full and new memories replace old ones, they’ll be more willing to pitch old papers. Make sure kids keep original stories in their own handwriting, little notes they’ve written, unique art projects, speeches they’ve given, and any hilarious or touching completed assignments. On the back of those items, jot a reminder note and the date. Take pictures of your child holding artwork too big or messy to be filed. Put the artwork on the refrigerator until it is replaced by a new masterpiece. Then throw the old masterpiece away, preferably when your child isn’t looking.

A Few Other Useful Ideas

Not all school clutter is paper generated. Some clutter is time-related and some is money-related. Use these ideas free up time and money so you have more of both when you need them.

* Train kids to set out the next day’s school clothes as part of the bedtime routine. Also have them check and see if their backpacks are in their designated spots.
* Have someone set the table for breakfast before going to bed.
* Limit the number of after school activities your child is involved in. Insist upon one church activity, like AWANA or youth group. Then let kids choose one physical activity per season, such as soccer or dance. Use your discretion about joining clubs and starting music lessons. Be sure these activities don’t break your budget. And don’t over-schedule your children. Leave plenty of time for them to play, create and explore.
* Set limits on the book orders kids bring home. The rule at our house was that each child could order three books, and only books, from each order. I chose one book, the child chose one book, and we chose a third book together. This system kept our kids from ordering expensive non-book items and brought plenty of good reading into our home. And I learned a lot about my children’s changing interests and unchanging passions as we examined each flyer and discussed what they wanted to order.

Go for It

Now that you know how to attack the school paper pile and take control of it before it takes over your home, it’s time to get started. Once your system is in place, instead of dreading the sound of a backpacks zipping open, you’ll look forward to seeing what kids brings home from school each day. And one day your adult children will thank you, not only for those files that provide a peek into their childhood, but also for the organizational skills they learned from you each day after school.

About the Author:
Jolene Philo is a freelance writer and speaker who lives in Boone, Iowa. She shares her house and her home office with her husband Hiram, daughter Anne, and dachshund Abby. You can learn more about her at her website, www.jolenephilo.com.

Keeping parents and kids healthy during those busy school days!

Summer…sleeping in, no commitments, flexible schedules, Ahhh…did I mention sleeping in?! Well, this month those lazy days will be a happy memory and the back-to-school shock will be ever present! Families will once again be consumed with committed sport practices and games, dance lessons and after school activities. Even though hectic schedules will prevail, a healthy lifestyle can absolutely fit into those busy days!

FOR THE KIDS

Starting your kids off with a healthy, satisfying breakfast has been proven to improve focus and learning throughout the morning hours of learning. Here are some helpful tips to get the kids off to an energetic start.

- At the beginning of each week, whip up some pancake or waffle batter and bake them off. Cool, layer between wax paper and store in a plastic bag in the refrigerator. Each morning for breakfast, the kids can help themselves to a hot breakfast and reheat them in the toaster. Be sure to put out real maple syrup and fruit to add to their plate. A tall glass of soymilk or skim milk completes the meal.

- Instant oatmeal, low in sugar (less than 10 grams) is another easy meal the kids can make themselves, as well as half asleep parents! Heat up water in a kettle before the kids arise from bed and keep warm on the stove. Place a selection of oatmeal packets on the counter for them to choose from. Add some yogurt and a glass of soymilk or skim milk and call it a morning!

Don’t forget lunch. No processed lunches for kids on the go. Processed food is loaded with sodium, fat and chemicals. Packing a healthful lunch will keep the kids alert and focused for the rest of the day.

- The night before school have the kids participate in packing their own lunch. Line up all the lunch bags on the counter. Help each child prepare lunch for the next day.

- Leftovers are a great meal and can be packed in plastic containers for easy reheat, if needed. They don’t like leftovers you say? No problem, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich always works! Tuna salad or chicken salad sandwiches are also excellent choices and can be accompanied by fresh fruit.

- Remember a healthful drink to wash down the carefully prepared lunch. No soda or fruit juice loaded with high fructose corn syrup! Pack bottled water or milk.

Allowing the kids to participate in" lunch duty" is not only fun, but will also teach them responsibility and allow them to feel a sense of accomplishment. And if they complain about not liking lunch, they can only blame themselves!

After school snacks are just as important as any other meal and are the easiest to prepare. Try these combinations or make some of your own, for proper nutrition and continued energy for the homework session ahead.

- Fruit and yogurt (less than 10 grams of sugar)
- No salt pretzels and low fat cottage cheese
- Air popped popcorn (no salt or butter) and a glass of soymilk or skim milk
- Apple and pear slices with peanut butter
- Assorted unsalted nuts with a glass of soymilk or skim milk

ACTIVITY

Kids are naturally active with the various sports and clubs they participate in at school or outside of school. If your child does not participate in an activity, help them to find one they enjoy. A team sport, dancing, horseback riding, or playing outside after school are just a few examples of fun activities to keep the kids healthy in body and mind.

FOR THE PARENTS

Neglecting yourself is not an option! Energy levels must be high for a productive day at work and/or at home. Remember, the kids will come home so lets make sure you are armed and ready.

- Same goes for parents in regards to meals! Nutrition is just as important so join the kids for breakfast and get your day off to a good start.

- Now that the days have more structure, be sure to pen in your exercise. If you do not schedule it, you might not do it! After seeing the kids off on the bus or dropping them at school, head right to the gym or back home for a walk. Walking 30 minutes a day is proven to increase energy and productivity, and decrease risks of heart disease and diabetes.

- Incorporate weight training 2 to 3 times a week for a complete exercise program.

Back-to-school does lend some challenges but they can be overcome with a lot of organization and a bit of humor. Starting new, healthy family habits can be difficult at first but by following these simple and easy tips, you will not only feel better, but also have the motivation to continue a healthy lifestyle.

About the Author:
Diana Sadtler is a University of Tampa graduate with a Bachelor of Science degree in Exercise and Sport Science. She is a Certified Personal Trainer through the National Academy of Sports Medicine (NASM).

Diana’s passion for fitness and nutrition has sprung her into a lifelong journey in helping others. She currently speaks to women’s groups on how to integrate exercise, nutrition, and healthy habits as part of day-to-day life. In addition to Diana helping her clients achieve optimal health, she also achieves her own personal goals and competes in fitness competitions annually. She enjoys working with individuals of any age and fitness level and believes that exercise and good health is a lifestyle choice.

Diana is also a freelance writer on health and fitness topics. Her articles have appeared in Focus on the Family publications and various fitness websites. To contact Diana with questions or comments, please email her at dsadtlergetfit@tampabay.rr.com.