2, 4, 6 or 9

I have 4 kids. They range in age from 16 down to 4 months. The first 2 are 5 years apart. There are 9 years between the second and third. Number 3 and 4 are two and a half years apart. Given my vast experience I have confirmed my opinion on spacing your children. Here it is…

I think each child should be 4 years apart. By age 4 a child is more secure. He does not cry when separated from you at church, he can go potty, he (hopefully) is no longer clinging to a self soothing toy, bottle or paci except maybe at bedtime. He is in preschool and about to start Kindergarten. He can fetch a diaper and play alone for at least a little while. Perfect!

I think 9 years is way too long. Bigger siblings sometimes regret the new addition. They liked things the way they were and feel some resentment towards you (the parents) for rocking their perfect world with this crying, pooping baby. They feel like they have to do “everything” if you ask them for help in fetching, rocking or attending to the baby while you make this post. Nine years is TOO far!

I may be jaded (because I am still adjusting to this) but 2 years is way TOO close! I have never been so stressed as a mom than I have been in the past 4 months. I have had both “babies” crying at once and often have 2 messes to clean up all at once. Since I can’t keep a close enough eye on the 2 year old while feeding the littlest one, he tends to get into things– like Sharpies! Then the biggest kid gets angry because when she comes home and there is a nice new drawing on her wall– well take it from me, she is not happy. And then just forget about her babysitting while you take a shower! I can easily say I am definately of the opinion that 2 years (or less) is WAY TOO CLOSE!

What do you think? Is there hope for 2 siblings both clawing for a mothers attention? Can a mother survive having 2 babies? I think about Kate (the mother of multiples on TV) and slap my wrist. I must be some kind of weanie mom. Help!