Christian Anger Management Tips

Is it wrong for a Christian to express anger? Not according to the bible. After all, even Jesus expressed anger (see John 2:15). However, the bible gives us two wise principles to follow when dealing with anger. This article covers those principles and also gives you practical tips for managing this volatile emotion.

In Ephesians 4:26, the writer advises: “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” The reason for this advice is that if anger is not dealt with effectively, it can evolve into unforgiveness and eventually bitterness. This root of bitterness can not only poison your relationship with the person with whom you are angry, but may even taint your other relationships.

So if you find yourself angry at someone, the first thing you need to do is to calm down and get control of your emotions. The last thing you want is to respond to the other person while your emotions are running high.

One of the best ways to regain control is to remove yourself from the situation and go somewhere private. Sit down and take some slow, deep breaths. Breathe in slowly through your nose and out through your mouth until your breathing starts to return to normal.

As you are calming yourself, it will help to pray and ask God for his peace. One of God’s promises, according to Isaiah 26:3 is, “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.” Also ask God in prayer for wisdom as to how to handle the situation.

Other effective ways you can use to release anger include:

• Pounding a pillow
• Having a good scream or cry in private
• Describing the situation that is making you angry on paper. When you have written everything out and expressed yourself, crumple up the paper and flush it or trash it.

After calming yourself down, discuss the situation with the person with whom you are angry in a direct, but gentle manner. Your goal is to express how you feel, but without putting the other person on the defensive. Keep your voice even and use “I” statements versus “You” statements. Always end by providing solutions that will help you come back into agreement with the other person. Forgive them for any pain they caused you completely.

Emotions can be great teachers, but not when they are allowed to rage out of control. So when you are angry, always take time out before responding and seek God’s direction. Otherwise, you might find yourself saying or doing something you regret and damage your relationships beyond repair.