I’m organized but my spouse isn’t… how do I organize my spouse?

by Megan Spears, CWAHM Columnist

My husband and I are getting ready to celebrate our eight year anniversary this month. I can’t imagine my life without him in it. He truly brings out the best in me and we each bring a certian balance to our relationship.

When we started dating the one thing that I had to come to terms with was that my dear husband really lacked in his organizational skills, especially in the garage. He is what some might call a “gear head”.  A man with many tools. All his life he has had a passion for cars and fixing things that are broken. I realized early on in our relationship that that the garage space was just always going to be a mess and disorganized.

Over the years, he would (for me) go through and clean out his garage space, but in the end things were really still just a mess. Drawers were full of random tools in no specific order and frequently the shelves were littered with trash, boxes, and a few random supplies in between. When friends would come over I was embarrassed to let them see the space and mortified at how sloppy it looked.

Living in the Pacific Northwest, we love the outdoors. When we would be packing our things for a camping trip and he would ask me, “Do you know where the thingamajiggy is?” Like I would be able to find anything in the garage let alone know where something was.

“No, honey, the garage isn’t my space to keep organized.” I would reply, knowing he knew exactly what I was thinking.

As frustrating it was for me, I had to come to terms with his methods, no matter how much it would drive me crazy. When I finally embraced that he is the way he is, and I love him for that, I found myself feeling less irritated and more willing to just concentrate on myself, rather than him. Our relationship of course got better (because I wasn’t nagging him all the time) and slowly, over time, I started to see the transformation in him and his methods of organization.

He started to take more pride in his space and when given the proper tools (organizational containers and supplies), he took the time to start getting things in order.I never once told him to do it, he took that initiative all on his own. Really, our garage is quite beautiful now and really organized. I am so proud of how much he has changed and thrilled that he did it all on his own.

Often, in a relationships, whether it’s two spouses or a parent and child, we try to control or dictate how someone else should be organized. Really we all have different ways of seeing and processing our stuff, so why do we feel that it’s our job to make people do things the way we want them to? A good friend of my told me once that when you find yourself trying to control someone else, stop what you doing and give that to the Lord. It’s his job, not ours!

Maybe sometimes we just need that reminder that God is in control, not us. Before you know it, your garage might look like mine!