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Skipping Toward Appreciation
By
I don’t remember meeting my husband. Is that weird? It’s probable my brother, my future husband’s best friend, may have initially gestured into the living room one day and said something like, “they’re my four sisters,” as he introduced us…sort of. And we most likely turned away from the TV for a Gilligan’s Island-second, acknowledged the intrusion, and returned to our regularly scheduled after school routine. I estimate I was around ten years old at the time. I couldn’t have cared less about the guy I had just glanced at. I wasn’t exactly dreaming of a way off the island…or farm…yet.
It took a while for this guy to morph from my brother’s friend to mine. He was an “enemy of the sisters.” He would show up unannounced, often dressed in his railroad bibs with his 1970’s long, curly hair and his quick wit, and annoy us with his brotherly antics. I didn’t like him very much! Somewhere along the way, however, rivalries eased, attraction sparked, and a relationship was pursued. Feelings changed. My heart would actually skip a beat when I spotted him.
Gilligan and the Skipper started out on a journey they planned would be smooth sailing. It didn’t turn out how they had planned. Forced by circumstances beyond their control, they had to learn to live together and rely on each other despite their apparent differences. Of course, it was a show for kids, but what observant adult couldn’t learn something by watching the Skipper and Gilligan have regular miscommunication? Have days they didn’t appreciate each other? Learn to live a life of adventure together as a team within their new, limited boundaries?
I, too, had a recent three-hour trip. I was driving home, back to the farm, to visit my parents. My husband had told me he’d be coming back our way on the train. Watch for him on the tracks beside the highway, he advised. However, we had seen several trains. None of them were his. We were now several hours past the time he had estimated we would see him, and I no longer was expecting to get that glimpse.
We had stopped for a little shopping and lunch midway in our trip, and my daughter pointed out another train coming our way, adjacent to the highway. I immediately tried to dissuade her. I didn’t want her disappointed her daddy wouldn’t be on this one, either. So…I wasn’t even looking…when the engine horn sounded a soft ‘toot toot’ and the cab window flew open. My husband, with his now graying hair flying in the wind, his unshaven jaw broadened into a huge grin, waved enthusiastically at me as I continued down the highway. Surprised, my heart momentarily pounded faster and I had that old butterfly feeling from within. Huh! He still makes me happy to see him. Imagine that.
The reaction I had that day reminded me of life when we were dating. Our relationship then wasn’t burdened with disciplining kids, house repairs, college payments, and worn out fatigue from another decade of work. Feelings have continued to change. Sometimes I’m pretty frustrated with this man I promised to honor and cherish, respect and love. I’m sure it goes both ways. But Proverbs encourages man to “rejoice in the wife of your youth” (5:18b). I think that goes both ways. Wives, rejoice in the husband of your youth.
As mature adults, we have hopefully learned to function in our marriages not based on ever changing feelings. With some hard work and perseverance, we’ve learned to appreciate each other despite the mind-set of the day. With prayer, your marriage and mine can be based on a commitment that doesn’t change with our frequently changing emotions. It almost makes my heart skip a beat.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Sandy McKeown is a contributing author to Laundry Tales to Lighten Your Load, One Year Life Verse Devotional, and Chicken Soup for the Chocolate Lover’s Soul. She is a columnist for Christian Work At Home Moms, is a Mentor of Many (M.O.M.), and speaks to a variety of audiences; helping others discover today’s difficulties aren’t a life sentence, just a season of life. Sandy can be reached through her website at www.sandymckeown.com.
What a fun read! Glad those sparks are still flying for you!
Yes, I have a similar kind of story when my met my spouse for the first time. She was a sister of a friend of mine. One day, I went to my friend’s home and he introduced her to me. She was struggling with her books and was very worried. The next day was her exam. I counseled her not to get worried and concentrate on what she knows. She liked the way I treated her and there after we met frequently.
This is how it all happened and I feel very excited to remember those sweet days.
It’s wonderful to tell stories especially about appreciation, gratitude and love. I’m glad that you’re doing that in the world. When I think about marriages or other committed relationships, I am reminded of this one idea. That is when we first “fall in love” we see the other as “perfect,” as God sees them. Later, reality sets in. It’s so important to regain that perspective as often as we can, isn’t it? To see the beloved in his/her perfection rather than the flaws, to remember why we love in the first place.