You Never Know When You Are Starting a Tradition
As I write this, the scent of peanut butter lingers on my hands. I just finished making “spider snacks” with my 6-year-old son, Joshua, for a neighborhood Halloween party tomorrow, complete with crackers, peanut butter, pretzel legs and chocolate chips and raisins for the eyes and mouths.
Am I exhausted? Yes. Am I glad I did it (and caught it on film?) Very much so—partially, because last night I missed a moment to snuggle on the couch with him and watch “You’re The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.” Instead, I worked on my laptop and stopped for a moment to hear my favorite part, when Charlie Brown sadly says, “I gotta rock!” (Who of us have not had days like that?)
Each day I am beginning to understand the incredible value of family traditions. Whether we realize it or not, our children are storing memories away that will be the traditions they remember. And as they grow older, and deal with difficulties in life, they will fall back on the things they remember from childhood that brought them comfort. Most likely, these will be the traditions you had as a family.
And you will never be able to predict what they value as a family tradition, compared to what you value. While you may believe that gathering around the Thanksgiving table and sharing how thankful you are each year is a special tradition, they may also remember other events that repeat themselves each year.
My sister and I still joke how our Christmas tradition at about 10 a.m. Christmas morning was hearing our mother frantically call, “We’re not going to make it! We’re not going to make it! They are going to be here!” promptly followed by the fire alarm going of because something for Christmas dinner had overcooked.
As a chronically ill mom, to be honest, I am always tired. That probably won’t change. But I do have a choice. If I don’t intentionally create some fun traditions for my son remember, then the only leftovers memories will be me saying, “I can’t. I’m too tired. Let mommy rest, okay?”
If you are a parent with an illness, there is a time to let your family go downhill skiing while you curl up with a good book. But you also must create traditions that you can participate in. For example, my son and I put together “Boo” buckets this week. You include a poem (off the internet), candy, a few goodies and then leave it at neighbors’ doorsteps and run. I helped Josh put three together for friends from his class on our street and then he and Daddy did the delivering— and running.
As moms we must get over the need to try to replicate other family’s traditions and then be disappointed when we can’t do it all or we end up in bed three days following. Make your own and drop the guilt. There may even be some you wish to avoid. Sure, my mom gave me “the look” when Josh wore a Christmas Old Navy shirt to Christmas Eve service one year, but my tradition was not going to be to fight over clothes on Christmas Eve. And the Lord has blessed me. Joshua recently asked for a tie to wear to church! (And I promptly complied, although it has teeny tiny skulls on it beside the lion logos on the classic striped tie. Please, no lectures. I don’t like skulls either)
Your family traditions may be piling in the car with hot chocolate and driving around to see Christmas lights. It may be putting together shoebox gift for Samaritan’s purse. It may be family game night, or cuddling under quilts and watching all the classic Christmas children’s shows. Whatever it is, it’s yours.
Before the season gets away from you, sit down and make a list of a few things you value and memories you want to instill in your children’s childhood. Then realistically decide which ones to prioritize.
Remember, the years will blur together, so you do not have to do every event every year. Pace yourself and keep it fun. Otherwise, your child’s memories will not be on the celebration, but on mommy saying, “Pleeeeease get dressed. You have 30 seconds to get in the car! This is a fun family tradition and you are not going to ruin it if I have anything to say about it! We’re going to have fun whether you like it or not!” (Or so I’ve heard from other mothers. . . )
One of my favorite scriptures I hope encourages you is “My comfort in my suffering is this: [God’s] promise preserves my life.” Psalm 119:50
Lisa Copen
Rest Ministries, Director
Are you a mom with illness? Lisa is writing a
book for Christian moms who live with a chronic
illness. Join her “feedback” team, providing tips,
anecdotes, and more. Send a blank email to
Christian-Moms-w-illness-Book-Team-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
