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Jan
13

3 Powerful Mind Altering Questions To Help You Succeed

By

LaTara Ham-Ying - Integrated Success BloggerWhen it comes to success some people struggle simply because of how they talk to themselves. Language is a big part of our day and self-talk takes up most of a given day, especially for the work at home mom. Questions we ask ourselves are a core component in how we function. It is important to understand that the questions you ask yourself and these very questions affect how you think and move throughout your day.

This month I want to help you focus on the questions you need to ask and the ones you need to stop ask so that you experience more success in your life; which in turn brings you more success in business.

What is blocking me right now?

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.” ~Voltaire

Knowing what you need to do and doing it are two very different things, just as having a map for running a marathon and actually making it to the finish line are miles (26.2 miles, to be exact) apart.

The breach between knowing and doing can be the result of many things:

  • Skill. You know what to do, but you don’t know HOW to do it. For instance, you know the next step in your business is to create a website opt-in form so people can easily join your mailing list, but you have no idea how to do that. You’ve got a SKILL problem.
  • Mindset. You know what to do and how to do it, but you don’t think you can. You’re stuck because you lack confidence in yourself, or there’s some other mental block. You’ve got a MINDSET problem.
  • Emotion. You know what to do and how to do it, and you even know you can do it, but you don’t want to do it. You avoid making the phone call for fear you’ll be rejected, or you don’t tackle your taxes because you’re afraid you’ll owe money. You’ve got an EMOTION problem.

The only way to get past your barrier is by identifying its cause, and the only way to recognize the source is by asking yourself what is blocking you at this very moment.

When you ask yourself this question, you need to go past the obvious. What may seem like a skill issue (“I don’t know how to create an opt-in form”) may actually be a mindset or emotion issue (“I’m afraid of technology” or “I don’t think this will work even if I do create it”). Be persistent in asking yourself “What is blocking me?” over and over until you get at the source of your true problem.

Once you’ve pinpointed the problem, you can figure out a way to address it. If it truly is a skill issue, you can learn how or hire someone else to do it for you. If it’s a mindset or emotion issue, you can work with a coach or other trusted person to help you blow past those blocks.

The question may seem simple, but the results are huge.

What would happen if I didn’t do this task?

Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into your answers.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Once something makes it onto our task list or into our calendar, it’s nearly impossible to do away with it. What seemed like a good idea at the time – posting an extra video every week on your blog, running the school’s yearly bake sale, taking on one extra client, stopping by Starbucks to get coffee for the weekly staff meeting – has suddenly become written in stone.

While none of these activities are bad in and of themselves, when excessive, they eat away at our valuable hours, leaving us little time for the things that matter most to us and our long-term goals. But we often don’t question our participation; we figure that once we signed up, we’re stuck.

The good news is that obligations – even ones we once said “Yes” to – are not eternal sentences. Just as you once said “Yes,” you can now say “No.” But it can sometimes be difficult figuring out what obligations are important and which are not. That’s where this question comes in. As you go down your list of responsibilities, ask yourself what will happen if you don’t do the task at hand.

For instance, what would happen if you didn’t head the school book drive this year? Most likely, the PTA would find someone else to take it over.

What would happen if you didn’t host the family Thanksgiving dinner that takes you three weeks to prepare for and three more to recover from? Most likely, the family would find another place to come together.

What would happen if you didn’t post that extra video every week on your blog? Most likely, the world would keep turning. Or, if it is really vital to the success of your business, you’d get so many demands for the return of the weekly video that it would soon become clear you need to add that item back onto your to-do list.

There are, in actuality, very few items on our calendars that are essential. Either someone else would step in to take our place, or somehow the job would get done, or we’d all continue to exist without coffee at the next staff meeting.

Of course, there are some tasks and obligations that are essential, ones where you are, in a word, irreplaceable. Find those activities and focus there. Gracefully back out of the rest, or pass the task on to someone else, or quietly stop doing it and see if anyone notices.

Chances are, you know where you’re needed.

Will this matter five days from now? Five weeks? Five years?

There is frequently more to be learned from the unexpected questions of a child than the discourses of men.” ~John Locke

When we’re in the midst of our life, it can be tough to get perspective on what’s happening. Little things naturally seem big, big ones seem huge, and things that have the potential to truly change our world from the inside out sometimes get overlooked because they’re disguised as not-big things. It’s tricky to make decisions in the moment when we don’t have a clear view of our lives.

Emotions cloud our judgment, too. We get scared, anxious, overwhelmed, and tired, and looking at a minor inconvenience is like looking at a fun-house mirror; everything’s distorted and off-kilter. It can be easy to lose perspective and overreact – or under-react. That’s when this question (actually, this series of questions) comes in handy: “Will this matter five days from now? Five weeks? Five years?

This question is an automatic game-changer. Suddenly, the parking ticket, the overdue report, or the missed meeting doesn’t seem so tragic. Sure, if you had you would have loved to have arrived on time, skipped the $40 parking fine, and met your deadline. But five days from now, the parking ticket will be forgotten, in five weeks, your boss won’t remember you missed your due date, and in five years, no one will remember whether you were at that meeting or not.

Just as these questions can help put annoying occurrences in their proper place, they can also help you hone in on what’s really important. Skipping your daughter’s last baseball game might not seem that big a deal to you, but will she still be brokenhearted next week? If so, maybe it’s worth shutting down early to make the opening pitch.

What’s interesting is that something that isn’t important now may very well be so five years from now. Exercise, for example, builds up interest over time; one missed workout is no big deal, but over five years, those missed minutes at the gym add up. That’s why this question is so powerful. It levels the playing field to make important things appear more important, while stripping the not-so-important things of their power. With the emotion removed, you can step away from the fun-house mirror and see things as they really are, and then make your decisions accordingly.

You have choices in how you talk to yourself. You have choices in the questions you ponder and how you choose to ask them. The bottom line is this…

If you want to see success in your life, then you have to know how to ask the right questions so that the answers are proactive and reactive in manner.

What do you think of the questions shared in this post? How do you question yourself? Watch out how you answer because it can come back to bite.

In our next post I will share two questions not to ask yourself as you walk you integrated road to success.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: LaTara Ham-Ying is the Founder of Integrated Woman Ministries; a coaching ministry that focuses on helping the work at home woman develop transforming life concepts for a better business from the inside out. Offering membership options, workshops for life and business, and a mastermind group focused on Christ, it is the goal of Integrate Woman Coaching Ministries to help women work from home successfully! Learn more about IWM by visiting http://www.integratedwomanministries.com.
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