Every homeschooling parent knows that feeling of waking up one morning with an "Oh no! I’m not doing it right!" moment. Perhaps it’s that fear that prevents many parents from even launching into the "formidable" task of teaching their own children. And while it’s so wonderful that homeschoolers have such a plethora of curriculum from which to choose, often it is the overwhelming options that make homeschooling so frightening. We all do it…"Susan, what curriculum do you use?" And then we go home and nervously explain to our husbands that our children are going to be behind because we haven’t begun teaching Latin yet.
And of course, the pressure from "the outside" doesn’t help either. Some families have to deal with relatives who demand to see test scores (how scary!), or constantly quiz the children on the Periodic Table. Whatever our fears, there is hope. It helps to stop what we are doing sometimes, and get refocused. I hope this article encourages you to do just that.
Remember, God gave you your children, which makes you qualified, above anyone else to teach them. Lacking a certificate or degree in education does not disqualify you to teach your children. Contrary to popular opinion, anyone can teach, and anyone can learn. Teaching is a matter of commitment and desire. And because you are your child’s parent, no one could be more committed to his education. A teacher does not need to have all the knowledge; he merely needs to be able to show the student where to find it.
Remember that you are a unique family, with unique children and unique goals. Write our your academic/spiritual goals, and plan your teaching methods around them. Perhaps the reason we get so nervous about the way others are "doing school", is because we forget that there is not a right way. Our thinking is still ingrained with the public school mentality — one size fits all. We must remember that the government teaches that way because that’s the only option they have with a room full of students. We have greater options, different options, better options. Let’s not be afraid to utilize them!
One mother has a deep need for structure, schedule and order. Perhaps her children follow suit. This family may thrive with conventional text books, desks lined up in a row, and a school day that begins with The Pledge of Allegiance.
However, another mom may be a "free spirit". She may feel like Picasso one day, and Copernicus the next! Her children may thrive under her spur-of-the-moment methods, learning whatever comes before them that day, as they cavalierly ramble through library books. And for those who lean toward this method but worry about teaching discipline and perseverance, there are plenty of other areas in life to ensure these characteristics are taught. Don’t feel guilty about stepping out of the mold.
One mom may implement both types of teaching; one mom may love Unit Studies, another may hate them. Some children enjoy text books, some do not. It is so crucial that we realize there is not one right method for every family. Pray about your goals and ask the Lord to lead you to the right methods for your family. Then, try to avoid asking and comparing with other families.
One family may have specific plans for college, and another family may be training their children in entrepreneurship. The goals will distinctly shape the methods.
Another note of comfort…what is right for your family one year, may not be right at all the next. Don’t be discouraged if you change every year! What a blessing to have the freedom to explore all the different types of learning!
God has done a lot of the work for us! So often we fail to realize how intricately God has designed our children’s brains. Think of this…a mother gives birth to a baby. That mother can be completely uneducated, even illiterate; but by the time that baby is two or three years old, he has already learned an entire language, and is piling up his vocabulary by the minute. All that, without ANY curriculum! She didn’t even give his "education" a thought. It happened, almost effortlessly! Why? Because God created children with an insatiable curiosity that compels them to learn without the slightest push. That curiosity doesn’t just end when he reaches a certain age. Now of course he won’t learn everything quite so effortlessly, but I think we underestimate how much a child is capable of learning about the world around him, simply because of the Creator’s design. Let us use that to our advantage and relax a little bit!
Remember that reading is foundational. Many great Americans virtually educated themselves (and were brilliant students), simply through the reading of great books. Never underestimate the foundational bedrock of reading. If you can cultivate a love of reading in your children, the majority of their education has been taken care of. When I taught school, I would observe in my classroom that an exceptionally bright student, who had attended the same classes as the struggling student, would always have a love for reading. If you can read, you can teach well! If your child can read, he can learn well!
Remember your priorities. It often helps to jump off the merry-go-round for a minute and look at the "big picture". This is where you have to shut out everyone else’s expectations, grab your spouse’s hand, and walk ahead with confidence. If everything I do fails, have I been faithful to raise God-fearing, selfless children who love the Lord with all their hearts, and others as themselves? Isn’t that really the only thing God has required of us? And isn’t it Him that we serve? Education can become an idol if we allow it to interfere with our spiritual training, and the passing on of a godly heritage to our children.
Remember the great homeschool advantage. That is, the advantage of having our children with us, communicating, thinking and interacting on a higher intellectual level than most schooled children. We often overlook this very important aspect of homeschooling. Also, remember that even though a typical child is "in school" for 7 hours a day, very little of that time is actually directed toward academics. (I know, I was a school teacher and witnessed it!) Each student has to wait for every other student to finish his work before they can move on. Recess, bathroom breaks, etc, all take up large amounts of time. Then there are movie days, "field trip" days, and other rather unproductive days. Don’t feel intimidated by the fewer hours you spend teaching.
Don’t sacrifice relationships for "the perfect school day". I have seen moms who are completely distraught, as are their children, because they are so focused on "doing it right", but things aren’t turning out like they had pictured. It’s time to try something different! I believe so strongly in keeping my relationship tender with my children, that sometimes, if I perceive we are struggling through a day, and attitudes are not like they should be, I would rather close the books, and go outside to liven up things, than to compound the problem. Now a matter of disobedience should be addressed differently. But we do need to remember that finishing our seven pages of history is not the most important thing. If your children are frustrated over the school work, they probably aren’t learning anything anyway. Is it worth it to continue to force information into a cup with a hole in it? That’s when we realize that it is OK to try something else.
Let us be encouraged to stop comparing ourselves with those around us. Let us celebrate our uniqueness and the blessed freedom to exercise different methods of educating our children. Let us enjoy them, and enjoy learning with them. Let us relax, whatever our method!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Kelly Crawford and her husband Aaron are the homeschooling parents of six children, and one on the way! Kelly is a free-lance writer and songwriter, and the Crawfords run a cottage industry making homemade skin products, and have just recorded a Scripture Songs CD to help families memorize God’s Word together. Kelly is also the founder of a local stay-at-home mom’s group which she began six years ago to encourage women who wanted to devote their lives to being wives and mothers. For more encouraging articles about family, children and living frugally, you can visit their web site at www.heartsforfamily.com or Kelly’s blog at http://heartsforfamily.blogspot.com