Looking for some interesting material to add to your home schooling curriculum? Art Class from See the Light proves to be interesting, informative and captivating! Not only is Pat Knepley comfortable in front of the camera and easel, but she also knows how to keep your attention. The art lessons are set up like an art club with each lesson lasting approximately 10 minutes, giving students time to practice what they were just taught.

In this 10-disc series is a step-by-step series, Knepley speaks clearly and takes the time to explain various “how’s and why’s” throughout each lesson. Her delivery of the lesson grabs your attention, keeps it, and even makes adults WANT to learn to draw.  In my view, Pat Knepley is also a master weaver – artfully weaving in biblical truths all through each lesson.

Whether you homeschool or not, this series is a great addition. With so many schools doing away with the arts, you can supplement your child’s art lessons with these DVD’s. I can see even having your children’s friends over frequently for ‘art class’ with Pat Knepley. What a great way to educate and entertain at the same time.

DVD provided by publisher. Thank you!

Disclosure of Material Connection: Reviewer received one or more of the product mentioned above for free in the hope that it would be mentioned on CWAHM.com. Regardless, CWAHM only recommends products we would use personally and believe to be good for CWAHM’s audience. Disclosed in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255:  “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Home schooling mothers face a unique challenge. When you choose to home school, you essentially take on the role of teacher in addition to chef, chauffeur, maid, and mentor. When you choose to keep your children at home with you all day long, you struggle to find child-free time for cleaning, shopping, or cooking. Take a look at these tips for a happier home schooling journey.

1. Find a routine that works for you. For years, people told me to have a quiet time first thing in the morning to be a “good” Christian. After the babies came, the morning chaos made “quiet time” laughable. Now I have a scheduled quiet time during nap time, and I’m able to be much more consistent about it. Also, some children need the reassurance that a schedule brings. They respond better to you when they know what to expect, reducing tantrums and whining. Your consistency will pay off in dividends of good behavior and compliance. Our schedule includes fixing, eating, and cleaning after meals; school; bathroom breaks; playtime; nap and Bible time; and 15-minute chore segments. We also incorporate devotions at breakfast and bedtime.

2. Consider preparing less gourmet meals. I know, you’re all laughing, because none of us actually prepare anything resembling a gourmet meal. What I mean is this: You don’t have to serve a hot meal three times each day–or even once each day. I found that I couldn’t devote the necessary time to teaching my elementary students if I spent three hours or more each day in the kitchen. We decided to have cereal every morning, sandwiches for lunch, and a roasted meat and vegetable for dinner, which usually takes only 30 minutes to prepare. When we started evening activities like sports, we moved our nice meal to lunchtime.

3. Limit field trips. When I had five children under age 6, we visited the zoo and the children’s museum almost weekly! But as they aged, they needed more structure to complete their curriculum on time. We still enjoy field trips, but I have planned them to coincide with their curriculum. We emphasize education more.

4. Turn off your phone. If you were a school teacher, no one would expect you to answer your phone during school hours. Your children will quickly stray from their tasks if you answer that call. Resist the urge! You can call them back. The same goes for texting and Facebook. Keep your attention on your children during your scheduled school hours!

5. Incorporate chores into the school day. Children can’t do math for hours. Give them a break every 30 minutes or so, and they’ll probably be much more enthusiastic about putting away laundry or cleaning up clutter. We had a 15-minute activity rotation once. We alternated every 15 minutes between a quiet activity like studying and an active activity like “Toss the shoes in the basket.” The children behaved very well during that experiment. (We changed because it required too much preparation time to be successful.)

6. Remember that your children have different learning styles. While one child may enjoy quietly completing worksheets, another may need crafts or tactile interaction to learn. Don’t get frustrated when you see that what worked for your first child flops for your second child.

7. Learn the “baby years” principle. If you are blessed to have a baby during your home schooling time, which many of us are, learn to scale back to the very basics. If your children are older elementary or higher, consider a computer-based curriculum that they can complete without your direct interaction.

8. Learn to say, “No.” Just because you are home all day doesn’t mean you have 16 hours of free time. You don’t have to enroll your children in art, piano, Spanish, ballet, softball, and soccer. You don’t have to volunteer at the food shelter, the Bible study, the political office, the library, and the concession stand. Choose your activities wisely, asking God to guide you.

9. Have fun! You have the special gift of time with your children. As much as you can, keep your frustrations at bay and enjoy them. Children mirror our frustration and anger. If you see that your school day is becoming unproductive, take a short break to play a game or tell a story.

10. Don’t forget your husband. Your role as a home schooling mother can wear you out. Reserve some energy for your husband. Biblically, he is your first priority, even over your children. Take some time to plan a special meal for him occasionally, send him a romantic text, or just outright tell him you plan to be intimate that night. My husband and I have come to the understanding that spontaneity is just not possible with six children. If it can’t be tonight, we make plans for when we will be romantic to assuage the frustration. Also, I have learned that my husband is much happier to help finish the chores or put the children to bed if he knows what’s to follow.

Above all, remember that God will grant you the strength and wisdom to accomplish that to which he has called you. Invest your time and energy in your family, and you will reap great rewards.

Dorothy Wilson, her husband, and their six children live in Marion, AR. He runs a sales business out of the garage. In addition to being teacher, maid, chef, chauffeur, and mentor, she has recently exchanged her Facebook hobby for writing. Make sure to check out her blog at:  myminivanoverfloweth.blogspot.com.

by Tracy Zdelar

My son just finished public school kindergarten beginning of June and we started homeschooling a few days later. I’ll admit I am a newby here but I decided I was going to keep him home for first grade and homeschool him (and we’ll take it one year at a time from that point). Newby or not, I’ve done a lot of researching on the “homeschool” topic and have been so blessed to come across so much free or affordable curriculum ideas, unit studies, etc.. As a result of my time and researching I’ve got an idea of how I want to homeschool and what I want to use. As a blogger, I’ve been blessed to have three companies accept my offer to review their homeschooling products in exchange for my using them or keeping them (more info on these at my blog). I want other homeschooling families to know whats out there and how you too can score some “free” stuff to help you homeschool. Even if you already buy a particular brand of homeschool curriculum already prepared for you down to the finest details you may want to take advantage of the following  to add some “fun” into your summer while still “educating” your children. But first, …

What we are doing right now.
I’ve had my son reading Rocket Readers (early readers) books. At first he showed some unwillingness but I broke out a lined chart and some stickers and when he fills a row he gets a simple prize from the bag (snack size M&M’s , or one small cheap toy that I bought that was part of a larger package such as the plastic farm animals, etc). My plan is for him to read two books with me almost every day and he must read each book twice to earn the sticker. The sticker chart really motivates him. Yesterday he insisted on reading about 4 or more books that day!

I also have him practice writing. I don’t do much if any critiquing. I want this to be fun and he is getting practice. On lined paper for his grade level he copies bible verses. One a day (unless he insists on doing more).  It just so happened that I had him writing out the same verses he was to memorize for Sunday School. He enjoys using Sharpie markers (colored ones) so I let him do that.

Because of all the reading he is doing , he has already completed the Borders.com children’s summer reading program (read 10 books, any kind and get a free book). He got the book Flat Stanley, His Original Adventure.

We are also working through the Bible reading program that Berean.com is doing. Children spend 15 minutes a day reading the Bible and earn a $5 gift certificate at the end of four weeks. Then it starts all over again. This is a great incentive to get you child started in a routine of reading his/her Bible, which they need the Word of God as much as we do! Start them early.

Our local libraries also have summer reading programs. We may work on theirs as well, later.

We love nature! We’ve had the opportunity to house a woolly bear caterpillar in April (my son found in our shed) until it changed into a  moth! A persistent robin built a nest on one of our window sills and we were blessed with watching it go from empty to full, to hatched babies, to them leaving the nest ( you can see pics of these experiences on my blog). Right now my son has a “bug city” so-to-speak and both the boys enjoy finding bugs daily to put in the city. I also have a renovated 2-liter pop bottle by my sink with mud and worms. Yes, I live with boys!  All that to say, get outside and encourage the kids to learn about their backyard!

My favorite online homeschool resources!
CurrClick.com sells and gives away freely lots and lots of homeschool packages  you download and print out at home. I can’t tell you how many I’ve picked up from that place. I love it! You just have to go check them out. We may do some notebooking or lapbooking this summer on frogs or other critters. Some other sites to check out…

SimplyCharlotteMason.com
NotebookingPages.com
Letteroftheweek.com
LapbookLessons.com

You’ll find more resources under “homeschooling ” in my categories at my blog.

Tracy Zdelar is a wahm, professional-blogger and homeschooling mom to boys. She blogs about alot, does reviews, supports other wahms and sometimes hosts giveaways! Visit http://www.HallofFameMoms.com today.

by Cheryl Moeller

Writer’s write! Don’t just talk about writing, actually write.

To complete an article or assignment you need to write, write, write. God gives the heart and vision for the story. It takes talents and gifts, but it also takes discipline. You write one word at a time just like you play the piano one note at a time. You can do it, if you put your mind to it and overlook other distractions.

Practical Ideas to Motivate the next Pulitzer Prize Winner:

1. Treat writing as importantly as you do reading. For my children, I gave them a new spiral notebook and a cool pen, both in their favorite color. I act as though their notebook and their writing are very special and important.

2. Give your children big challenges in the writing area, perhaps you are asking too little of your child.

3. Give them a reward for their writing completion each week, no matter what. Sometimes I let my children choose the reward. The amazing thing is that they always choose something NOT material. When the decision is really up to them, they ask if they can read to another family’s younger children or hold the electric mixer the next time we bake as their reward.

4. I also print out free online certificates. Smiles abound when you give them a tangible written reward for completing an assignment, perhaps on a monthly basis.

5. Make lots of great stories available in a variety of ways. Do everything from checking out from the library old Fibber McGee radio shows to making up your own scripts for family puppet shows. Tell stories to each other often.

6. Always have them edit their work the next day, never the same day. A fresh perspective always helps.

7. Teach your children all the tools they need for writing not just the mechanics of writing. They also need to know their audience and understand the genre. It is a parent’s joy and responsibility to fan the flames of the written word within each of their children.

By Cheryl Moeller
Check out Cheryl’s books and articles on www.momlaughs.blogspot.com

IS HOMESCHOOLING BEST FOR YOUR FAMILY?

By Lily Morgan

Home schooling has become a popular alternative to traditional education. More and more parents have become frustrated with the public school system, and are turning to home schooling rather than often-expensive private schools. For Christians, home schooling can also be a way to immerse your child in your values and beliefs. It is also a terrific way to bond with your child, developing a more mature relationship that many parents and children do not achieve until the child reaches adulthood. However, there are some drawbacks to home schooling as well. Here is a parents’ guide to determining whether home schooling is right for your family.

Are You Committed to the Process?

One of the biggest advantages of home schooling is the ability to let the child learn organically. Lessons can be based on the child’s interests and progressed at his or her own speed. Simultaneously, however, the parent must meet state guidelines regarding curriculum and lesson planning. This can lead to a balancing act, requiring the parent to be flexible and able to think on her feet.

In order to successfully home school your child, you must be willing to wholeheartedly embrace the process. Home schooling, like parenting, is never simple or easy. You and your child will have bad days. There will be frustrations and confusion. You may need to field changing legislation and state bureaucracy. If you are able to deal with the challenges and commit yourself to the process, you may be a good candidate for home schooling your child.

Do You Have Time?

If you are a work at home mom, chances are that you control your own schedule. This is a decided advantage for you, compared to women who must choose between career and family. However, home schooling will require a major investment of time and energy. It is not sufficient to have your child sit quietly with prepared lessons all day while you work. You must be an active participant in his or her education. Carefully organizing your day, however, can yield the time that you need. Perhaps you could spend a couple of hours in the morning on hands-on home school activities, then give your child some written assignments to complete while you get some work done before lunch. After lunch, you could do another hands-on activity before going back to written work. Breaking up your day like this can help to bring structure to the child’s education while yielding the time that you need for work.

Finding Opportunities for Your Child’s Socialization

One of the major concerns that parents have about home schooling is a lack of opportunities for the child to make friends. If you are proactive, however, there is no need to worry. Enroll your child in the after-school activities that he enjoys, from baseball to theatre. Join a home school organization in your area. Set up play dates. With just a bit of effort, you can find numerous ways to provide for your child’s socialization. Some experts have found that home schooled children, who tend to develop more adult relationships with their parents, actually have advanced social skills in comparison to others their age.

Finding and Using Appropriate Resources

As little as a decade ago, it was difficult for parents who were new to home schooling to find assistance. In many ways, home schooling families were “on their own,” figuring out the process on their own. The explosion of the internet, however, combined with a sharp growth rate in the number of home schooling families, has ensured that resources are never more than a click away. A simple search in your favorite search engine will turn up thousands of web communities that are dedicated to home schooling. You can find lesson plans and curriculum guides, information on state laws, forums for home schooling parents, forums for home schooled children, and all the information you could ever need. Learn your way around these resources and you are well on your way to being successful.

The Bottom Line

There is no right answer to the question of home schooling. Many parents and children find the experience extremely rewarding. Thanks to the internet, most of the initial concerns of both parent and child can be easily addressed at the beginning of the process. However, home schooling is not for everyone. In order to be successful, you must be flexible, organized and fully dedicated to the process. Remember that home schooling is not a final, permanent decision. You can always try it for a year, and then make an assessment to see whether it worked. The choice is ultimately yours. 

Every homeschooling parent knows that feeling of waking up one morning with an "Oh no! I’m not doing it right!" moment. Perhaps it’s that fear that prevents many parents from even launching into the "formidable" task of teaching their own children. And while it’s so wonderful that homeschoolers have such a plethora of curriculum from which to choose, often it is the overwhelming options that make homeschooling so frightening. We all do it…"Susan, what curriculum do you use?" And then we go home and nervously explain to our husbands that our children are going to be behind because we haven’t begun teaching Latin yet.

And of course, the pressure from "the outside" doesn’t help either. Some families have to deal with relatives who demand to see test scores (how scary!), or constantly quiz the children on the Periodic Table. Whatever our fears, there is hope. It helps to stop what we are doing sometimes, and get refocused. I hope this article encourages you to do just that.

Remember, God gave you your children, which makes you qualified, above anyone else to teach them. Lacking a certificate or degree in education does not disqualify you to teach your children. Contrary to popular opinion, anyone can teach, and anyone can learn. Teaching is a matter of commitment and desire. And because you are your child’s parent, no one could be more committed to his education. A teacher does not need to have all the knowledge; he merely needs to be able to show the student where to find it.

Remember that you are a unique family, with unique children and unique goals. Write our your academic/spiritual goals, and plan your teaching methods around them. Perhaps the reason we get so nervous about the way others are "doing school", is because we forget that there is not a right way. Our thinking is still ingrained with the public school mentality — one size fits all. We must remember that the government teaches that way because that’s the only option they have with a room full of students. We have greater options, different options, better options. Let’s not be afraid to utilize them!

One mother has a deep need for structure, schedule and order. Perhaps her children follow suit. This family may thrive with conventional text books, desks lined up in a row, and a school day that begins with The Pledge of Allegiance.

However, another mom may be a "free spirit". She may feel like Picasso one day, and Copernicus the next! Her children may thrive under her spur-of-the-moment methods, learning whatever comes before them that day, as they cavalierly ramble through library books. And for those who lean toward this method but worry about teaching discipline and perseverance, there are plenty of other areas in life to ensure these characteristics are taught. Don’t feel guilty about stepping out of the mold.

One mom may implement both types of teaching; one mom may love Unit Studies, another may hate them. Some children enjoy text books, some do not. It is so crucial that we realize there is not one right method for every family. Pray about your goals and ask the Lord to lead you to the right methods for your family. Then, try to avoid asking and comparing with other families.

One family may have specific plans for college, and another family may be training their children in entrepreneurship. The goals will distinctly shape the methods.

Another note of comfort…what is right for your family one year, may not be right at all the next. Don’t be discouraged if you change every year! What a blessing to have the freedom to explore all the different types of learning!

God has done a lot of the work for us! So often we fail to realize how intricately God has designed our children’s brains. Think of this…a mother gives birth to a baby. That mother can be completely uneducated, even illiterate; but by the time that baby is two or three years old, he has already learned an entire language, and is piling up his vocabulary by the minute. All that, without ANY curriculum! She didn’t even give his "education" a thought. It happened, almost effortlessly! Why? Because God created children with an insatiable curiosity that compels them to learn without the slightest push. That curiosity doesn’t just end when he reaches a certain age. Now of course he won’t learn everything quite so effortlessly, but I think we underestimate how much a child is capable of learning about the world around him, simply because of the Creator’s design. Let us use that to our advantage and relax a little bit!

Remember that reading is foundational. Many great Americans virtually educated themselves (and were brilliant students), simply through the reading of great books. Never underestimate the foundational bedrock of reading. If you can cultivate a love of reading in your children, the majority of their education has been taken care of. When I taught school, I would observe in my classroom that an exceptionally bright student, who had attended the same classes as the struggling student, would always have a love for reading. If you can read, you can teach well! If your child can read, he can learn well!

Remember your priorities. It often helps to jump off the merry-go-round for a minute and look at the "big picture". This is where you have to shut out everyone else’s expectations, grab your spouse’s hand, and walk ahead with confidence. If everything I do fails, have I been faithful to raise God-fearing, selfless children who love the Lord with all their hearts, and others as themselves? Isn’t that really the only thing God has required of us? And isn’t it Him that we serve? Education can become an idol if we allow it to interfere with our spiritual training, and the passing on of a godly heritage to our children.

Remember the great homeschool advantage. That is, the advantage of having our children with us, communicating, thinking and interacting on a higher intellectual level than most schooled children. We often overlook this very important aspect of homeschooling. Also, remember that even though a typical child is "in school" for 7 hours a day, very little of that time is actually directed toward academics. (I know, I was a school teacher and witnessed it!) Each student has to wait for every other student to finish his work before they can move on. Recess, bathroom breaks, etc, all take up large amounts of time. Then there are movie days, "field trip" days, and other rather unproductive days. Don’t feel intimidated by the fewer hours you spend teaching.

Don’t sacrifice relationships for "the perfect school day". I have seen moms who are completely distraught, as are their children, because they are so focused on "doing it right", but things aren’t turning out like they had pictured. It’s time to try something different! I believe so strongly in keeping my relationship tender with my children, that sometimes, if I perceive we are struggling through a day, and attitudes are not like they should be, I would rather close the books, and go outside to liven up things, than to compound the problem. Now a matter of disobedience should be addressed differently. But we do need to remember that finishing our seven pages of history is not the most important thing. If your children are frustrated over the school work, they probably aren’t learning anything anyway. Is it worth it to continue to force information into a cup with a hole in it? That’s when we realize that it is OK to try something else.

Let us be encouraged to stop comparing ourselves with those around us. Let us celebrate our uniqueness and the blessed freedom to exercise different methods of educating our children. Let us enjoy them, and enjoy learning with them. Let us relax, whatever our method!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Kelly Crawford and her husband Aaron are the homeschooling parents of six children, and one on the way! Kelly is a free-lance writer and songwriter, and the Crawfords run a cottage industry making homemade skin products, and have just recorded a Scripture Songs CD to help families memorize God’s Word together. Kelly is also the founder of a local stay-at-home mom’s group which she began six years ago to encourage women who wanted to devote their lives to being wives and mothers. For more encouraging articles about family, children and living frugally, you can visit their web site at www.heartsforfamily.com or Kelly’s blog at http://heartsforfamily.blogspot.com

You will be extremely happy to know that you have nothing in common with me. You glide along through life like a leaf down a crystal stream. You tend to steer in the direction everyone else is steering, and the road ahead of you is well lit and mapped out. Your children have been welcomed with open arms by everyone they’ve met, and your home is a bastion of peace, harmony, and good will. Best of all, your homeschooling experience has been the most rewarding and inspiring era of your life, and you’ve never doubted your calling for even a moment. See? I told you that you have nothing in common with me.

Me . . . well, my life has been slightly different. My leaf tends to get stuck against every wet rock of the stream, my steering has been out of alignment for as long as I can remember, and the road I am on has been steep, winding, and many times even closed for construction. My children, both with special needs, have been stared at, frowned upon, and pitied in their turn, and my home can feel much more like an open battlefield than a fortress at times. And frankly, I’ve been tempted to quit homeschooling more times than I’ve been tempted to cheat on my diet, and that is saying a lot. However, while my life in no way resembles yours, you needn’t feel sorry for me one bit. I like my life . . . actually, I love it – - every little bit of it – - because God made me especially for it.

So many things in life seem designed with the "average" person in mind, don’t they? Airplane passenger seats are designed for an average size person, standardized tests are designed for the average student, and medicine doses are prescribed with the average person in mind. I’ll never forget the feeling of empathy I felt when I saw someone being asked to move along because they wouldn’t fit into a ride at a theme park. Or the first time I saw children on a park playground laughing at my son because he couldn’t control the jerking tics caused by his Tourette Syndrome. Our society caters to the average person . . . the average family . . . the average way of life. Unfortunately, I just can’t squeeze myself into that mold.

Homeschoolers used to be marginalized too, but over the years, they have become more accepted and respected. Within the homeschooling community, there are now groupings that help people fit in. There are Christian homeschoolers, unschoolers, Classical schoolers, Waldorf schoolers, Montessori schoolers, and traditional schoolers. Would you believe that I don’t fit into any of those either? We are Christians, but aren’t really homeschooling for religious reasons, we read the classics, but our exposure to Latin consists of what is written on the backs of our coins, and my worn-out lesson plan book would attest that I am a far cry from adopting unschooling in the near future. I suppose I simply don’t assimilate well.

Strangely enough, though, my life is far from impossible. Someone had the good sense to design a few things with the irregular person in mind. Tivo invented a way to automatically record any show that happens to concern Jane Austen – - my current obsession. Tombstone miraculously created a frozen pizza that is half cheese and half supreme – - the only way my family will eat it. I recently saw a magazine in the library for people who garden on their deck. I truly thought I was the only one guiding squash vines around the railing posts. And thank heavens for Time4Learning.com, a multimedia homeschool curriculum that is so well suited for the out-of-the-box learner.

I have learned over time that the kingdom of God is certainly an upside-down kingdom, and that swimming against the current is actually inevitable. Praying for my enemies, returning kindness for evil, and forgiving those who are beyond forgiveness are part of the inverted life I’ve been asked to lead. So, I shouldn’t be all that surprised that my leaf takes a few hits as it heads downstream. The image I see in my mirror each day looks different from any other image I see in the world around me because God has asked me to model a life that is far from average. In fact, I think God delights in the fact that I am abnormal . . . unusual . . . exceptional.

Because of this, I know that when I hit the roadblocks of life, I can find a way around them. When my children face the challenges of being different, I can remind them that means they are on the right track! When the normal battles of life take over my home, I understand that I will win the war in the end. And when I have laid my head down on my pillow at the end of a difficult day, and wondered why God has called me to this thing called "homeschooling" – - I will remember that it is because I have been called according to His purpose. Called to be different.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Kerry Jones is a freelance writer and web maintenance engineer in North Carolina. She has two sons, and has been homeschooling since 1999. For more information visit her website at: http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-simplywrite

Behavior!

My wife and I have had a great deal of experience, both in our own homeschooling and in relating to other homeschooling families. One of the more serious things we have dealt with is the concern of parents over the behavior of their children in public. Of course we should train our children to interact well with others or to exhibit Christian values. Those are good things. The problem comes when the behavior concerns have little to do with the children

Raising kids is not about you. It’s about them. This is serious. I have seen so many homeschool parents greatly bothered about the things their kids do because of what people at church or in the community will think. But they aren’t worried about what these folks will think of the kids. They are worried about what they will think of the parents. "Kids wouldn’t act like that if they had good parenting!" Heaven forbid that the children should embarrass the parents in front of others. You would think that child-raising is all about the parents. It isn’t.

Kids learn differently and they act differently. They react differently to situations and they think differently about life. If you try to make your kids all the same, you are doing them a disservice. If you try to make them like other people’s kids, you are probably hurting them. One wiggles while he learns. One has to have noise, so she sings or hums. Another cares so much about others that he can’t focus on his own work.

These aren’t bad things – they are just different. Work them out, but don’t rob your kids of their individuality. And, guess what: they are probably different from you… and that’s ok too. This isn’t about you.

Let me say it this way: God could raise kids in the woods someplace and bring them out fully developed as adults. He doesn’t. Instead, He puts them in families to be raised. The only reason I can think of is that He has something to teach parents. So be humble and learn from your kids.

As you interact with your children you will learn fairly quickly that they think different than you. Suddenly you have to find a way to communicate with someone else, especially if you want to teach that person. There is great adventure and even joy in finding new ways to teach your children – and you will learn a lot in the process. If you try to force them to learn your way, you not only make it harder for them but you also make it harder and less enjoyable for you. And, believe it or not, you will become a better person because you will have learned to value someone’s differences and you have developed the ability to listen.

A Final Note

Remember that the Lord already loves you. You can’t do anything to make Him love you more than He already does. You are already accepted by Him and acceptable to Him. He doesn’t want you to work harder; He wants you to rest in Him. He wants you to be confident in what He has done, not try to add to what He has done. A failure here and there does not change His love for you, nor is He ever disappointed with you. He knows exactly how things will work out and He has always known and He has always loved you.

Listen: He loves your kids more than you do. He cares about their lives and the success of their jobs and marriages and all. But He cares more about their hearts. He wants them to know that He is not a bully, not a Judge who is waiting to get them. He wants them to know that He loves them. Be sure that you tell your kids about His love for them and be sure that you are secure in His love for them. He may allow them to take a path that brings concern for you, but He will never turn His back on them. You can trust Him.

You see, discouragement comes from thinking that you have to do something or be something that seems unreachable. You run through your day – cleaning, scolding, motivating, teaching, cooking, and all the hundreds of other things – and you can’t see progress. All you can see is that the goal is still far away. But the goal isn’t perfect children who move the world. The goal is happy children who are secure in the Lord’s love and are able to navigate through life with Christ as their center. It doesn’t matter what others think or how well others do. It only matters that, ultimately, your children remember the love of the Lord and the love of their parents.

Relax – you are probably doing better than you think!

c David Orrison, PhD

(This is the first in a series of brief articles on homeschooling discouragement. Read the entire article and find more encouragement at www.gracefortheheart.org)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Dr. David Orrison has been a homeschooling dad for nearly 25 years. He and his wife, Alice, have 8 sons. He has been a pastor for nearly 30 years and is now the director of Grace for the Heart, a ministry designed to proclaim the sufficiency of Jesus Christ in all areas of the Christian life.

Homeschooling? Discouraged?

Many homeschool moms struggle with discouragement. It is easy to become discouraged when the children don’t cooperate, when you feel like you are in over your head, and when others seem to be doing so well. Is there anything that can help?

I have been a homeschooling dad for nearly 25 years and I served a church filled with homeschoolers for 12 years. I have seen discouragement. I have talked with homeschool moms who were suicidal, who wanted to leave their families, and who just wanted to quit the whole thing. Discouragement, when unresolved, is the breeding ground for serious depression. If you want to end the discouragement and avoid the depression, there are a few things you should know.

First, stop comparing yourself with others. They are not doing as well as they pretend. Many of the homeschool moms I have counseled were held up as examples for others… but they were struggling themselves! Few people want to be considered “whiners” so they put on a brave face and try to make the children behave in public. Sometimes it sends the message that things are always this good. They aren’t. We are taught to put a positive spin on the things in our lives, particularly the spiritual things, and so we tell positive things about our families. That’s fine, but it means that only one part of the truth is presented.

Comparisons are always hurtful, either to you or to others (and sometimes to both). I can guarantee that there is someone out there who wishes her family would be as good as yours. It is just the nature of the thing. You can always find something that will make you feel guilty and you can almost always find something to make yourself feel better than someone else. But don’t. It isn’t a game that you really win.

Some people get into homeschooling because of comparisons. They hope their children will “turn out as good as Susie’s”. When they see other children sitting so orderly at the restaurant or at church and they hear how respectful those children are, these parents just know that homeschooling could do the same for their own kids. Not necessarily.

I have known kids who sat quietly at church only because of the intense fear of what would happen later if they wiggled. Is that what you want your children to think about in church? Other parents maintain very orderly lives themselves and that order is simply passed on to the children. I have known homes where the soup cans are arranged in alphabetical order on the shelves. It works for them… but not for most of us.

God has made us different from others. You can’t compare yourself with others because you don’t have the background they had or the perspective on life they have. I am not an engineer and I don’t think like most engineers. If I were to compare my way of handling money, for example, with that of some engineers I know, I could get discouraged. They always know where they stand and they always seem to have more and better things. But the truth is that most of the engineers I know make much more money than I do and still they log the miles driven each day by their children and budget everything religiously. This isn’t bad, of course, but it is different… and it makes comparisons almost impossible.

You don’t win the comparison game. Someone will always do something better than you. You will have to come to the understanding that your acceptance, especially with the Lord, is not founded on how well you do. His grace is given because of our need, not because of our strength or competence.

Love your children and don’t compare them to “Susie’s”. Let them be who they are supposed to be. Follow the Lord and keep your focus on Him. You will find love and acceptance and encouragement in Him.

c David Orrison, PhD

(This is the first in a series of brief articles on homeschooling discouragement. Read the entire article and find more encouragement at www.gracefortheheart.org)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Dr. David Orrison has been a homeschooling dad for nearly 25 years. He and his wife, Alice, have 8 sons. He has been a pastor for nearly 30 years and is now the director of Grace for the Heart, a ministry designed to proclaim the sufficiency of Jesus Christ in all areas of the Christian life.

Homeschool Hype!

As a homeschool dad of nearly 25 years and the pastor of a church with many homeschoolers for 12 years, I have seen a great deal of discouragement among homeschool moms. These brief articles are offered with the hope that they will shine a light on some things that are causing discouragement and provide some right words to lift hearts.

You must learn to recognize “homeschool hype”. You’ll see it come at you in two ways. One is the model family. The family on the front of the homeschool magazine is perfect, right? They all play the violin and sing regularly in the area nursing homes. The older children are holding good jobs, going to college at home, and teaching the younger children. The younger children all can sit quietly for hours without complaining. The father works a low-paying job so that he can spend more time with the family, but they have a 10 bedroom home with no mortgage. The mom has had 15 children and can still fit into the dress she wore at her high school graduation. In fact, she looks like she just graduated!

This is the model family. You might know this family. You might know some who are just about like this family. But let me tell you a secret – this family isn’t real! Oh, they exist of course, but what you see isn’t real. What you see is the result of the same kind of “retouching” done in the glossy advertisements for weight loss products.

Another way this will come at you is through formulas and promises. If you just do this – use this curriculum or product, follow this daily schedule, pray this prayer, whatever – then your success will be guaranteed. If it doesn’t work for you, you must have done something wrong. You will hear of how Johnny learned to read at 2 years old because Mom used this certain curriculum. You’ll be told how Billy was called to the ministry or went into a multi-million dollar business right out of the homeschool because the family followed a certain program. If you buy it today, at the special price, you’ll see amazing results in your own family.

This is called marketing. Just like in the commercials on TV (oh, I know, you don’t watch TV – but you still know what I mean), the people are actors and the products are usually mediocre. Sure, the family on the front of the magazine exists, but they aren’t typical. All of these things should come with that little caveat, “Results not typical!” It is the nature of marketing to oversell, to stretch the truth so that you desire the product. But it is still just hype! Don’t ever expect to live up to someone’s marketing hype.

I have counseled with some of these “model families” and have heard how they struggle to maintain that image. They don’t want anyone to know the truth and they pay a high price to make it look real. I have seen some of these wonderful products at garage sales and used bookstores. Some of them have just the first few pages filled out and then they were obviously abandoned. I have seen the results of some of these programs and have heard how people were told that the program didn’t work because they didn’t follow “all of it”.

Homeschooling has become an industry and many families spend thousands of dollars on books or programs because they want the very best for their children. Like any other industry where money can be made, homeschooling is overflowing with marketing hype. Instead of being overwhelmed by all that is offered, why not just relax and enjoy your children? Follow the Lord instead of someone’s program and use materials that connect with your kids. You don’t have to be perfect and you don’t have to have the latest gimmick.

And, remember, the Lord accepts you and loves you without the hype. You don’t have to be the “model family” to be acceptable to Him.

c David Orrison, PhD

(This is the first in a series of brief articles on homeschooling discouragement. Read the entire article and find more encouragement at www.gracefortheheart.org)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Dr. David Orrison has been a homeschooling dad for nearly 25 years. He and his wife, Alice, have 8 sons. He has been a pastor for nearly 30 years and is now the director of Grace for the Heart, a ministry designed to proclaim the sufficiency of Jesus Christ in all areas of the Christian life.

Has your preschooler ever asked you the question, “What can I do next, Mom”, and your mind just goes blank? If this has ever happened to you, it may be to your advantage to have some simple activities on hand. Here is a suggested activity that may prove to be an answer to your child’s request.

This activity can serve to teach your child some simple readiness skills while he is having fun. The activity takes only a few minutes to do but is an activity that a child often delights in doing over and over again. The beauty of it all is that the activity only requires simple materials found at home.

Hint: You may have to do the activity first to show the child how to do it. This will build his confidence and also aid in motivating him to participate in the activity and do it again independently.

To begin the activity, “Put It In A Line”, use a piece of yarn, string or masking tape approximately a yard long. (A yard stick or a tape measure could also suffice for the activity). Lay it in a straight line that is facing the child from left to right. Give the child a paper bag containing about five to ten assorted items such as a small block, key, small sponge, clothespin, large button, small rock, spool, small toy, spoon, cup or whatever items you have on hand..

Start on the left and place one of the items from the bag on the yarn, string or tape. Show the child the left and right movement that he can follow by sweeping your hand across in this direction. Encourage the child to continue moving from left to right placing the objects chosen from the bag on the yarn or tape until the bag is empty. The objects should be in a line.

Next, encourage the child to pick up each item one at a time from left to right until all of the objects are back in the bag. The words, “left” and “right” need not be emphasized; just the movement with the hand is sufficient to enable the child to under left to right direction.

This teaches the child to clean up and not leave assorted items on the floor when not being used. This activity also helps to make the child aware of left to right progression, (a preliminary step in beginning to read and spell).

This activity also enhances the sense of touch in handling the various shaped objects in the bag and improves eye-hand coordination. The child also can develop skill in following directions and completing a task. The concepts “on” “off” , “one” (item or object) as well “empty” (when the bag has no more objects) may also be emphasized.

This activity may be repeated on different occasions.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

June R. Oberlander

The book Slow and Steady Get Me Ready is a wonderful resource for those of you with young children! This book would also be great for those with”special needs” children who are developmentally delayed and a unique gift for a baby shower. This book was written by June Oberlander, a retired kindergarten teach with over 25 years of teaching experience. This book started out as notes written to her daughter who was looking for interesting learning activities to do with her first baby. What has evolved is a thick book with five years worth of learning experiences. If you are not one who goes for pushing a small child to learn, then you will discover that this book avoids that. It is very practical, can be done inexpensively with items found around the house, doesn’t take a lot of time and helps to increase a good parent/child bond through close interaction… Best of all it is FUN!

Starting from the first week of a child’s life, there are activities to do to insure good development. This book covers it all from awareness skills as an infant, progressing on up through readiness skills for school at the age of five. It is divided into 260 weeks with a different activity for each week. The book also includes an outline for the approximate age that a child will be ready to learn specific things which will be helpful in preparing a child for formal learning in school.

Visit June Oberlander site!

You have decided to home school your children. You have been thinking and praying about it for some time. As September approaches you know it is time. Where to start? The choices seem overwhelming.

How well I remember those days. My children had spent the previous year in a new rural public school. They had completed 1st, 3rd, and 6th grades. They were unhappy with school. I was unhappy with school. I knew there had to be a better way. I asked questions of everyone I could find who had home schooled. I read every book in the library on the subject. I prayed without ceasing. I ordered curriculum catalogs. I went to the home school fair. I read even more.

Once my husband and I made the decision there was peace. I knew that I would be stretched tremendously, but I knew it was the answer. God was faithful to encourage us over and over. Now the decision was made, but where to begin.

I felt we needed a structured program with accountability for the first year. I needed to know what to teach and how to teach. We selected a complete program from Christian Liberty Academy. This program provided diagnostic testing, all books and manuals, and the record keeping. It made me feel secure.

The curriculum choices are staggering. I really suggest you pick one provider for the first year. At the end of the year re-evaluate what worked and what didn’t. I really believe that all curriculum works if you use it. They differences are mostly about style and design. As you grow in confidence you will feel more secure about choosing curriculum

I read about learning styles. I realized that my children did not all learn the same way. My girls were both visual learners. They were also very self motivated. They were excited about home school. My son was a busy, wiggly, distracted, hands-on kinesthetic learner. I understood that could be a challenge to both of us.

The first year proved to be a time of adjustments for everyone. I learned how to teach to all three learning styles. The visual learners loved books, posters, charts, and lists. The kinesthetic learner wanted hands-on projects, manipulatives, and artwork. Auditory learners need to talk about what they are learning. This meant teaching concepts several ways. I learned when I taught to all three styles all the children learned more.

I read about school style and goals. I begin to understand there was not one perfect way to home school. What did we want for our family? We could choose Charlotte Mason method, unit studies, the principle approach, classical education, independent learning, textbook based, history emphasis, accelerated education, or unschooling. So many choices! How to choose what was best for our children?

After reading about each I felt pulled toward independent accelerated education. It was suggested that I home school my youngest because at first grade (age 5) she was already well ahead of all her classmates. She began reading at age 4 and scored 2 years ahead of her classmates. My oldest daughter was also ahead of her age mates by 1-1/2 years. It seemed to fit these children to teach them to work at their own pace . I wanted them to learn how to learn.

I developed a weekly goal chart, which showed the minimum work to be accomplished each day. They were to cross off each assignment as completed. They enjoyed the control this gave them. They could choose to do the minimum or work ahead.

They first year also was used to undo the attitudes and expectations of public school. We worked on attitudes and character traits. I set up an incentive program to reinforce the behaviors I wanted to see. I assigned scripture memorization. The children were allowed to earn points for prizes. They really enjoy this. The younger children especially respond to this method. The prizes were all school related.

Scheduling was also import to our school. I wanted to be sure that all the important things were accomplished each day. We set a starting time and the order for subjects. We also scheduled regular breaks and lunch times. The children were finished for the day when the minimum was completed.

Above everything else my attitude played the most important role. If I was grouchy or insecure or rushed or out of control everything else was effected. If I relied on the Lord and have my attitude and heart right everything ran smoother. I must constantly seek Him, be in the Word, submit my will, and be teachable. When I do that He is able to guide me on the right path.

What are the results? My youngest daughter Allison is 13 She is happy and challenged. She will complete the last part of 9th grade this year. She is taking piano lesson. She loves reading historical fiction and biographies. She loves the Lord and is thinking about becoming a pastor. She wants to use her musical gift for the Lord.

My son Jordan is 16. He started as an unmotivated average student. He scored his highest ever on achievement scores this spring (98th%). He loves the Lord. He witnesses to kids at the park. He loves to roller blade and is playing the bass guitar for adult and youth worship services.

My oldest daughter Melissa is 18. She graduated from American School (an accredited correspondence high school program) in June 1999 at age 16. She went on a mission trip to Mexico in August. She is active in a discipleship youth group. She is in her 2nd year of college to become a preschool teacher.

As you can see, 7 years of home school has brought many dividends. I urge you to seek the Lord, become friends with other home school families, and get involved in your church. If we can do it, so can you.

Take one day at a time and pray every step of the way. Enjoy watching your children learn about this world in which they live.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Kay Green and her family live in rural Oregon. They have home schooled for the past 7 years. She loves helping new families start the journey of home school. She has a web page at http://www.preciouskids.org

She has also written the book: HOMESCHOOL-A New Beginning!

Preschoolers can learn many things by learning to listen more carefully and then following directions. Educators have proven that young children learn best through meaningful play experiences. Some young children may even balk at too much structure. Proper guidance and interaction is essential. “Play is a child’s work”. Why not “employ” the child to work by playing games with the child. This will enrich the parent child bond. Simple play listening learning experiences can be initiated at any time of the day, especially when a child is looking for something to do.

A simple game to play could be “I Spy”. To play this game, look around the room and find something that has the red in it. Then tell the child that you spy something “red”. Allow the child to look around the room for something red and ask him to tell you when he/she has spied it. Continue playing the game until you cannot find anything else that has red in it. Then play “I Spy” with the color blue in the same way. Other colors may be taught in the same way.

To make the game more interesting, cut out a cardboard-shaped mirror with a hole where the glass should be. Look through the hole and pretend to locate something “red” or “blue” (introduce other colors later). This will give the child a clue as to the direction of the red or blue object that you spy.

Encourage the child to go and point to something red or blue. Help the child if necessary. If the child is close to the colored object say “You are getting warm”. If the child is going in the wrong direction say, “You are cold”. Avoid teasing the child. Security and success in finding red and blue objects are essential. Be sure to use only one color at a time. Interchanging the colors will tend to confuse a child of this age. However, at a later time interchanging the colors will add advanced interest. This activity involves listening for the color and finding it in a certain place. The child must feel secure with thecolor to find its location.

This simple activity can be used to teach the basic colors, shapes,letters and numbers. It serves to develop skill in using clues for problem solving. It also develops skill in matching colors (shapes, letters or numbers). Language enrichment is enhanced as well as self confidence.

To play the game, make it simple and name something obvious that the child should look for in a room or outside. If the child asked you to repeat what you said. Repeat the command and observe whether the child spied the correct object. Continue until the child can accurately follow the I spy command. Some children can readily do this but others need practice to succeed.

The game “I spy” may be expanded to teach colors. For example, I spy something red. This may be expanded to find many things that are red. Once the child can spy the color red, introduce blue and continue with the primary colors until the child has successfully listened for the correct color name, found something red and has met success.

This game may be further expanded to teach shapes, names of things, letters, numbers.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

June R. Oberlander

The book Slow and Steady Get Me Ready is a wonderful resource for those of you with young children! This book would also be great for those with”special needs” children who are developmentally delayed and a unique gift for a baby shower. This book was written by June Oberlander, a retired kindergarten teacher with over 25 years of teaching experience. This book started out as notes written to her daughter who was looking for interesting learning activities to do with her first baby. What has evolved is a thick book with five years worth of learning experiences. If you are not one who goes for pushing a small child to learn, then you will discover that this book avoids that. It is very practical, can be done inexpensively with items found around the house, doesn’t take a lot of time and helps to increase a good parent/child bond through close interaction… Best of all it is FUN!

Starting from the first week of a child’s life, there are activities to do to insure good development. This book covers it all from awareness skills as an infant, progressing on up through readiness skills for school at the age of five. It is divided into 260 weeks with a different activity for each week. The book also includes an outline for the approximate age that a child will be ready to learn specific things which will be helpful in preparing a child for formal learning in school.

Visit June Oberlander site!

Among the obvious benefits of sitting down and playing a good old-fashioned game with your children is the opportunity that games provide to apply and solidify the mathematical reasoning and calculating skills your children are learning in school. Perceptual and verbal skills have both been linked to mathematical achievement levels. That is, math does not only involve strong number skills. It also involves visual-perceptual skills, auditory perceptual and verbal skills, as well as strong logical thinking skills and fine motor skills.

Visual perceptual skills help your child to keep his written computations organized with aligned columns. They also help him to differentiate between the symbols, shapes and sizes found in math. They help him to understand the part-whole concepts needed for fractions, to and understand sequential concepts (e.g., before and after). Auditory perceptual and verbal skills help your child to distinguish between similar sounding numbers (e.g., 13 and 30; 1000 and 1000th), follow directions, follow oral drills and dictated assignments, count on from within a sequence, explain why a problem is solved as it is, write numbers from dictation and comprehend story problems. Abstract and logical reasoning skills help your child to solve story problems, compare sizes using symbols, understand number patterns, understand place-value concepts and apply concepts to symbols. Finally, fine-motor skills are needed for completing written calculations and manipulating concrete materials.

Up until children are 6 years old, their primary way of learning about the world is through their senses. Between 2 and 6 years they are laying the foundation skills needed for learning mathematical concepts. These include understanding concepts such as more- or less-than, before and after, categorizing, making sets, finding pairs and making one-to-one correspondence, sequencing, identifying parts of a whole, understanding cause-effect relationships, recognizing patterns, rote counting skills, and recognizing numbers. Games that help build the concepts of more or less-than include Don’t Spill the Beans and Lucky Ducks. Games such as Candy Land and Shoots and Ladders help to build the concepts of “before” and “after”. Concepts that include balance, cause-effect, making predictions, logical and visual reasoning and fine motor skills include Don’t Spill the Beans, Spaghetti Game and Don’t Break the Ice. Lucky Ducks and Potato Head are two more games that build fine motor skills, as well as one-to-one correspondence, part-whole concepts, matching, and memory. Higher level skills such as memory, concentration, attention, identifying sets, number identification and recognition of dot patterns of numbers can be solidified by playing games such as Bingo, The Memory Game and Cootie. Finally, rote counting skills can easily be incorporated into all of these games by parents.

Starting around 6 years, children begin to attach meaning to the numbers they have previously learned by rote. For example, 7 is 1 more than 6, not just the number that comes after 6 when you are counting aloud. They can use objects and manipulatives to understand mathematical concepts and numbers. From the ages of 4 to 11 children need objects in the physical world to learn about abstract mathematical concepts. Their memory for math facts can be reinforced in any game by incorporating the rule of answering one to three flash cards correctly before taking a turn. Games such as Chinese Checkers, Checkers, Connect Four and Battleship all build the visual perceptual organization skills needed to read and build charts and graphs and to align columns in long mathematical problems. Planning, cause-effect, and logical reasoning skills are also addressed by those games as well as games such as Clue Junior and Guess Who. Card games, including games like Uno, and any card tricks, build sequencing, memory and number pattern recognition, as well as mental computation skills such as addition and skip counting. Dominos is another good game to build visual memory for number patterns, as well as fine motor skills. Games such as Monopoly Junior begin to build basic money skills and doubling skills, while games such as Clue Junior and Guess Who build the problem-solving skills that will become increasingly important as your child progresses through his school math classes.

Starting around 11 to 12 years, children begin to reason and think about numbers and concepts at the abstract level. The games children this age can play become significantly more complicated, and the games’ connections to math skills become more obvious. However children continue to benefit from the multisensory, interactive and experiential nature of the game format for learning well into their young adult years. Reading large numbers and building place-value concepts are skills exercised in games such as Masterpiece, Careers and Life. It is at this stage that many games incorporate money skills into their formats. Careers, Life, Monopoly, Easy Money and Pay Day incorporate money skills that range from the very basic such as counting money and determining correct change, to advanced concepts and skills such as bankruptcy, inflation, taxes, rent, salary, accounting, bartering and bidding, interest, mortgaging, bills, loans and budgeting. Many games incorporate higher thinking skills. For instance, games like Masterpiece, Careers, Monopoly, Life, Clue, Backgammon, and particularly Master Mind all exercise logical and deductive reasoning, predicting and planning, problem solving, and visual perceptual and organizational skills. Some of these games even build higher level math concepts such as fractions, ratios, and percentages into their formats.

Professional educators disagree about many theories. However, most educators agree that children learn best by becoming actively engaged in experiences that allow them to interact and discuss ideas and concepts with other learners. Games are a great way for parents to provide learning experiences for their children that are engaging, interactive and most importantly, fun! Board games are especially good for building mathematical concepts and skills. They are fun and engage all the senses (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, and motor). Because learning is a social process, children learn best through fun activities that involve interaction with other people, all the senses and the opportunity to act out concepts using physical representations. There are many commercial games that offer all of these, making them ideal learning tools. So, go ahead and turn off your TV and even the computer, and try a good old-fashioned board game with your kids. A price can not be put on the quality of the time you will have spent with your children. They will have fun while learning, and they will remember those times with greater fondness than the times they spent playing the educational computer games or watching the educational TV programs.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Julie Tiss is the Director of Tiss’ Tutoring and Testing, a member of WISER and the mother of two. You can reach her by e-mail at: jtiss@gmu.edu.

A parent’s reasons for choosing homeschooling are probably as individual as the parents, but I thought I would share with you some of the reasons why I chose to educate my children at home.

1) I like having control over what my children are learning.

This may be important to you if you have strong religious, moral or even political views. When your children are in public school you have no control over what they are being taught…if you can even figure out what they’re being taught at all!

You may be able to review their schoolbooks and worksheets but as far as knowing what goes on in their day to day interactions with teachers, it’s almost impossible to know what that is past the preschool and Kindergarten levels. Your child’s teacher may be imparting subtle influences to your child that you would rather they not be exposed to…at least not yet, and not without the opportunity to impart those ideas through the screen of your own beliefs.

I remember a lot of “fluff” and busywork in school…time that had to be used up somehow until the bell rang. Homeschooling cuts out all the fluff. You can keep your curriculum limited to the basics if you want, or you can tailor the curriculum to fit your family’s priorities. A lot of homeschool families include Bible and religious studies, character development, gardening, crafts and handiwork in their day. Useful life skills and entrepreneurship are often a priority of homeschooling families.

This leads me to reason #2…

2) It’s in my child’s best interests to be their primary teacher.

Since it’s my responsibility to decide what’s best for my child, I want to be the person to teach them. I know my children best…their learning style, their individual strengths and weaknesses as people, their age and level of development. I can build a homeschool curriculum that is best suited for them as individuals.

3) Homeschooling is not new or cutting-edge…it’s ancient.

As a parent who is trying to do things the natural way, I can’t help but notice that the entire idea of sending children off somewhere to be “schooled” is a new concept. I tend to shy away from things that are supposed to be so necessary and important for my kids that are actually new behaviors for human beings!

When did we get the idea that we needed to shuttle kids off somewhere to learn how to grow up to be successful, intelligent adults? Since the beginning of time, parents have taught their children the necessary life skills, character traits, stories, songs, history, and more that they needed to know in order to grow up well in their environment.

I believe that as a parent, that’s my job. Just as a Mother is equipped to grow her baby in her womb, feed her infant from her body, she is also capable of teaching her child important life skills.

4) I homeschool my kids because I love them and want to keep them near me.

No, I’m not an overprotective “smother”. I relish an hour or two spent away from the responsibilities of childrearing, as does any honest Mother! But it does concern me that sending my kids to school would mean having them away from my protective eyes at a very young, impressionable, tender age. The weekly (daily!?) news reports of child molestation in schools, bullying, racial strife, gangs, violence, etc. deeply offend me. I can only protect my children so much from these dangers in this world. Homeschooling is one thing I can do. Children are young for such a short time. They grow up so fast and soon fly away from the nest.

Homeschooling isn’t for everyone, and public and private education have their place, but for my family, home is where it’s at!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Carrie Lauth is a work at home mom of (almost) 4 children. She has an informative newsletter for Natural Moms at http://www.natural-moms.com

We adopted the classical model for homeschooling our five children a number of years ago for many reasons—the study of the good, the true, and the beautiful; the study and discussion of the Great Books; the chronological study of history; the study of classical languages; the gentle and flexible rigor model; and the application of a biblical worldview to all of our studies and to all of history, to name a few. Now our oldest is 14, and the reality of the college years is on the horizon! If God has put college in the future for our children, and it seems at this point that He has, then how can we be sure that we are preparing them for success? What qualities are important to colleges in their incoming students? What preparation is expected? What words of wisdom would they offer as we look into the process of college applications?

We sent these questions to representatives of five different colleges, and we got some very interesting answers. We received helpful responses from Dr. David Whalen, Dean of Faculty at Hillsdale College; Dr. David Noe, Assistant Professor of Classics at Patrick Henry College: Terry Stollar, Director of Admissions and Development at Gutenberg College; Dr. Roy Atwood, President of New St. Andrews College; and Rosemary Harty, Director of Communications at St. Johns College. Each school has a unique vision, varying expectations, and widely divergent views about faith and truth. But, there is much in the way of expectations and advice that they all have in common.

A Teachable Spirit and Strong Work Ethic

At the top of the list of qualities they think are important for incoming freshmen is a teachable spirit and a willingness to work hard. Dr. Noe says, “We are looking for students who have a strong work ethic … a teachable disposition, one willing to take direction. A high opinion of oneself that is unwarranted is the greatest impediment to successful learning.” Dr. Atwood writes, “We seek students who have a teachable spirit and know how to work hard with joy.” Mr. Whalen wants students with “an intellectual hunger, a sincere desire to study for its own sake, not just jump through academic hoops. Students need to be alive to the wonder of the created order …” I love this; one of the things about classical Christian education is this delightful emphasis on the worship of a God of wonder, a God of order.

Reading, Writing, and Thinking about the Great Books

Also high on the list of what these schools expect is an interest in reading, discussing, and writing about ideas. All these schools will expect their students to be eager to read the great works and to write about them. At these colleges, students are not expected to sit back and watch the professor; instead, they are highly engaged in discussion, exploration, and discovery. St. Johns is an extreme example. Rosemary Harty writes that St. Johns students are “directors of their own education. Their teachers will be a hundred plus great books, from Plato and Aristotle to de Tocqueville, Twain and Einstein…. We call our faculty members ‘tutors.’ Their role is to be model learners.”

It is a little different at Patrick Henry College. Students have a little less freedom but are still expected to be greatly engaged in writing and discussion of the Great Books. Dr. Noe writes, “The best preparation for succeeding at PHC is one in which the student does not shy away from difficult subjects, reads the Classics, and learns to write with precision and accuracy…. In addition, students should follow the advice of Pliny to read, not many works, but a few important works carefully. In other words, carefully reading Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey, Herodotus’s Histories, four or five of Plato’s Dialogues, Virgil’s Aeneid, and a few of Cicero’s speeches is far better preparation than any one hundred titles, fiction or nonfiction, from the last fifty years.”

At Gutenberg College, Terry Trollar says, “The best preparation … is to read voraciously and discuss good and great literature.” Students have “an interactive education where they can read works and then talk about what they learned with others who long to do the same.… Gutenberg offers a unique program that encourages them to learn and to ask deep-seated, scary questions without flinching. At Gutenberg, we feel Truth can stand up to tough scrutiny.”

Goodness, Truth, and Beauty

Also common to these classical and Great Books schools is an expectation that students will have a keen interest in what is good, true, and beautiful. Mr. Whalen writes, “students should also have a well cultivated and encouraged love of good, beautiful, and true things, so that their education does not become the mere acquisition of data or the mastery of information.” Students should give careful attention to being well rounded Christians who delight in truth, goodness and beauty, and not be myopic eggheads,” according to Dr. Atwood.

Academic Preparation

Most of the colleges expect between two and four years of foreign language, preferably Latin, and at least three years of math. Three years of science is also expected, preferably with lab work. Dr. Atwood adds, “Our students will read mountains of challenging books each year, so prospective students should develop their reading speed and comprehension.”

Nontraditional Students

Some Great Books and classical schools are uniquely appropriate for students who may not have been successful in high school, but who have a sincere desire to learn and a willingness to engage and interact over ideas. At Gutenberg College, some freshmen—says Mr. Stollar—are older students who did not do well in high school and became disillusioned with education, but later realized that they had some questions that could be answered through studies of the Bible and the classics. They are ready for a rigorous academic program after figuring out what their questions are and after a few years of maturing. St. Johns also offers a program that may appeal to a unique type of student. Students take few tests; grades are not highly emphasized; and competition with other students is not part of the culture—students work together.

Do Your Homework: Visit the College

Each school strongly recommends that prospective students do careful homework as they choose which college they would like to attend. Students should visit the colleges, talk to students and professors, even sit in on classes. Dr. Atwood writes, “Don’t trust all the glitzy brochures or slick advertisements. College recruiters, even Christian ones, have become as notorious as used car salesmen. Too many students and families rely on what others say or think rather than doing their own careful study.” Rosemary Harty urges that students come for “an overnight visit, and a visit to a seminar and other classes. That way, prospective students can talk with faculty members and current students.”

Each School Is Unique

We have a brief survey here of only five colleges, each with some commonalities, but each with a very different vision. At Patrick Henry, the vision is “to train young people who, by God’s grace, will lead the nation and shape the culture.” Students are trained to get involved in the culture—government, policy-making, and education. At Gutenberg, the goal is to prepare students “to engage our culture and to be personally prepared to face the difficult questions that life throws our way without seeking trite, proof-texted simplistic answers. We are truly like L’Abri, except a L’Abri that has students for four years rather than two weeks or three months.” New St. Andrews has a focus on community interaction and church involvement. Students are encouraged to board with Christian families or share apartments together, and student service and accountability “strengthen their Christian experience and spiritual growth in a way that cannot occur in a cloistered, age-segregated campus setting.” At St. Johns, the vision has little to do with job skills and employability but rather “the ability to think critically, to write and speak clearly, to be prepared to assume the responsibilities of an educated citizen in a democracy.” Hillsdale is more traditional with their vision: “A place where excellence is expected … where students are highly sought after; truth is pursued and a traditional liberal arts education is still a reality.”

Pray and Do Your Best

Mr. Whalen has some great closing advice. He writes, “Applying to college is important, but not nearly so important as what happens in college. Select the right school or schools, pray, do your best on the application, then commit yourself to four years of incredible intellectual, moral and even spiritual formation. This four-year span is like no other. It will remain a great period, remembered with delight and wonder, for the rest of your life.”

Each of our children is being prepared for a unique purpose, so the search for the appropriate place for college is one that requires prayer and plenty of homework. I hope that our brief peek at these five institutions gives you hope for the possibilities that are available. May God grant that we might someday be able to look back with our children on their college experiences and say, as Mr. Whalen did, that it was filled with delight and wonder.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Diane Wheeler, chief contributor to TOS’s Home Ec column, and her husband John have five children. Diane enjoys gardening, photography, working in her art journal, corresponding with friends, reading, staring out her favorite window, and laughing – all with a mug of dark roast decaf withing reach.

Copyright 2005. Used with permission. The Old Schoolhouse Magazine. Right now, 19 free gifts when you subscribe. www.TheHomeschoolMagazine.com

My husband and I have worked hard to make ends meet with one salary. Just recently, though, we have found the expenses starting to stretch the seams of our carefully sewn budget. For that reason, I was excited to interview Jonni McCoy, author of Miserly Moms. She has great suggestions and practical wisdom. Jonni is also joining our home economics column as a regular contributor. In this issue, she will give us ideas for the holidays, and future columns will include getting out of debt, fun vacations, and teaching children financial responsibility We are pleased to have her expertise here in The Old Schoolhouse Magazine. Welcome Jonni!

TOS: Jonni, I am glad to get a chance to talk with you. We have lived frugally for years, but it doesn’t seem to be getting easier. I know our children are getting older, which impacts the food budget, but I think it must be more than that.

Jonni: It is easy to lose your momentum—to get stuck in thinking, “I need to have this,” or “I have done without this long enough.” We get tired. It is hard work, and it takes a lot of commitment.

TOS: Can you tell me the story of how Miserly Moms began?

Jonni: Sure. I was working full-time, making a little more than half of our income in Silicon Valley. I felt convicted to be at home with my son, but I couldn’t see how I could give up my whole income. I figured I would work part time, but I still had the conviction that I was supposed to stop work completely. I kept putting it off, but finally, the conviction was so strong that I up and quit. My husband and I thought we were going to have to move, and we put our house on the market, found another house and were ready to go. Then I said, “I don’t want you commuting that far, and I don’t want to live there.” We took our house off the market, and my husband asked, “What do you want to do now?” I said, “I don’t know. I’ll figure out a way to make it work.”

Then, my husband challenged me, “I’ll give you four months to realize it won’t work, and then we will move.” I scrambled to find every way to save and make it work. I hadn’t been raised frugally, so this was a whole new journey for me. I started keeping a notebook, and every time I read something or thought of an idea, I wrote it down. Groceries were going to be the biggest area, so I worked on that a lot. I showed my husband that it was going to work, and we stayed put.

About a year or so later, I was in a playgroup with other moms. They had a newsletter, and they asked me if I would like to share what I had learned by writing a column. Over the years, people kept asking for copies of the newsletter, and my husband said, “We could put all of those columns in a little booklet.” We self-published a sixty-page booklet, ran ads across the nation, and did very well. We had advertised with Great Christian Books, and they asked, “We are going to start a publishing division. Would you like to be one of our first books?” I added some more information to make it more than sixty pages and off it went. Bethany House is now the publisher.

TOS: You were able to cut half of your costs?

Jonni: Yes, and all in expensive Silicon Valley. We lived in a tiny townhouse, with only one bathroom for the four of us, and we owned older cars with no car payments, but we did it.

TOS: What advice do you give to families that are trying to live on one income?

Jonni: The largest place we were able to save money was groceries, so I would spend a good portion of time there. That is why I spent half of the Miserly Moms book on groceries. We found a couple of hundred dollars there, and used that money for other expenses that we couldn’t trim. There are smaller ways that you can make dents: with your cars, entertainment, and educational choices. I would begin by taking a hard look at where the money is going. Keep track of all your expenses, every single receipt, for two months.

For tracking, use whatever works. If you already own Quicken software, that is a great way to keep track. Remember, every check and every ATM receipt needs to be categorized. If you don’t own software, I would just throw every receipt in an envelope and at the end of the period, you can just take a piece of paper, choose your categories, and put each expense in the right category. Ask the questions, “Is that where you want to be spending your money? How can we be trimming down? Where do we need to sacrifice?”

TOS: I imagine it is an eye-opening exercise.

Jonni: It is amazing. The first time we did this was eleven or twelve years ago. Back then, I was spending $35 a month on fast food. I was just getting one hamburger for my son and one hamburger for me, but, it is amazing how much it adds up. When I saw that, I said, “We can eat at home, not run errands during lunch or bring something with us if we are going to be out.”

TOS: What about families that have a large debt or that have a large purchase they need to save for? What kind of strategies do you recommend?

Jonni: It is pretty much the same. You are going to have to use frugal tips in order to get that money out of the budget. Another thing to remember is to buy only what you need.

TOS: One of the biggest parts of frugality is defining what a true necessity is.

Jonni: People do think they need things they can easily get by without. I know friends that do not have mini-vans, even with kids, because they know they can get by with a four-door sedan.

TOS: Let’s talk about your book, Miserly Meals. Why did you write this particular book?

Jonni: It was to dispel the myth that frugal food is gross. I spend so much time talking about groceries in Miserly Moms, and there are people who say, “I am not going to go there because I am not going to feed my family unhealthy food.” I wrote Miserly Meals to prove that you could have tasty, nutritious meals that don’t cost very much. Each meal had to be seventy-five cents or less per serving, plus there had to be a nutritional analysis to show that they were sound. Then, they had to go through five taste chefs in order to pass the test. I often get asked, “Well, what do you eat? How can you feed your family on that much money?” I have to say, I probably eat the same things they do. It is just that I let the sales dictate my menu and I will stock up on sales and freeze the extra. I am still having chicken, rice and broccoli, but I am probably paying $2.00 for my meal instead of $7.00 for a meal.

TOS: You talk about the food ads in the newspapers. Is it safe to assume that everything on the front page of a food ad is a good deal?

Jonni: Yes, the front and the back of those ads are called “loss leaders.” The middle pages may or may not be, but the front and the back pages are usually really good deals. Sometimes the stores are even losing money on those items in order to get you in the store.

TOS: So, if I am starting to keep a book of food prices, I can use these ads for good prices?

Jonni: Yes, it is a great place to begin.

TOS: Do you recommend shopping at warehouse clubs?

Jonni: I have been able to do as well—or better—with sales at the grocery store. There are a few items—like computer supplies, office supplies, clothing, and batteries—whose prices I cannot beat anywhere else. However, if you have a problem with self-control, don’t go. It is not worth it.

You can purchase Jonni’s three books, Miserly Moms, Miserly Meals, and Frugal Families from her website at www.miserlymoms.com. There you will find a lot more information on frugal living. Some of us need cost saving assistance and some of us need help with debt reduction, but all of us can find ideas in Jonni’s books that can save us money immediately.

We have included some of Jonni’s favorite suggestions for savings, and a couple of recipes from Miserly Meals, published by Bethany House. I think we can all see that she will have great things to contribute to our Home Economics class in the months to come.

1) Don’t eat out—you will pay five or six times more for it.

2) Find free or inexpensive entertainment ideas. Go to free factory tours, free museum events, walks in the park, bike rides, picnics, rent free movies from the library, or save money by going to the first showing of the day at the movie theatre.

3) Give up convenience foods. They can cost up to four times more than if you make it yourself.

4) Buy in bulk.

5) Buy your paper products on sale at the grocery store, not in the warehouse stores.

6) Buy clothes at the thrift store.

7) Go to garage sales in the richer neighborhoods.
Re-think your vacations. Try to avoid trendy vacation spots and find the local historical things in your state. They are much closer and usually cheaper.

Additional suggestions from the Wheeler family:

We live in the historic gold rush area of California. Each Christmas season, our town has a free stagecoach ride through the main street and alleyways of downtown. We have dressed up in Western costumes and enjoyed every minute of our free ride. My guess is that many towns and cities have free Christmas programs or activities to take advantage of.

We try to participate in giving to those in need each year. We have participated in Operation Christmas Child, sponsored by Samaritan’s Purse, and we give annually to our Compassion children. We have provided home-baked rolls for food closet recipients and sent secret gifts to friends experiencing hard times. These all remind us that we have so much to give, and that there is great joy in the giving.

Our annual Christmas breakfast is a puffed oven pancake called Dutch Babies. We make up an oven-full, and they bake while we are opening our stocking presents. Our favorite topping is powdered sugar and lemon juice, although for our daughter’s recent birthday, we added fresh peaches and blueberries for a colorful and delicious addition. The ingredients are inexpensive and the puffed pancake is dramatic—have everyone seated when you bring it to the table.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Diane Wheeler, chief contributor to TOS’s Home Ec column, and her husband John have five children. Diane enjoys gardening, photography, working in her art journal, corresponding with friends, reading, staring out her favorite window, and laughing – all with a mug of dark roast decaf withing reach.

Copyright 2005. Used with permission. The Old Schoolhouse Magazine. Right now, 19 free gifts when you subscribe. www.TheHomeschoolMagazine.com

Considering homeschooling? Get ready for a wild ride!

I remember attending public school as a kid. Honestly, I was bored silly. Everyone had to do the same things. Everyone ate lunch at the same time, hungry or not. Everyone flopped down on their mats, closed their eyes tightly and tried to nap, sleepy or not. Everyone dabbed white glue on their popcorn and stuck it to their “sheep art thing” we all did. Everyone learned from the same lesson plans. Everyone was presented with the same material, and subsequently, everyone asked the same basic questions. Then, year after year, everyone moved on to the next “level.”

When I would arrive home at night, I pretty much kept to myself. I was loaded up with enough homework to keep me occupied for hours, and my parents and siblings were not high on my “to do” list. They were not my top priority; school had to be.

Plenty of times I was so exhausted at the end of the day—yet not finished with all of my assignments—I would let myself just doze ’til 4 or 5 a.m. and then drag myself out of bed to finish everything before trotting off to school to repeat the cycle. I felt like a sheep. Baaa-aaaah; better hurry, the bell’s about to ring… again. That is not the school life I want to give my own children. I don’t want to have them gone all day only for them to come home and keep their distance from us. Why have kids? So we decided to homeschool. Then they turned five. Now what?

I was not trained to be a homeschool mama. Who is? But hey, it’s fun. I like having my kids with me, and they are learning! However, I must say, it’s all the questions that drive me batty.

A question here, a comment there—this is fine; don’t get me wrong. But imagine the never-ending question. The answer that just won’t satisfy. The conversation that has no finale. One of my sons in particular has questions for me that he fires from a vocal cannon which once loaded can discharge for hours. When they begin to flow, my eyeballs start twitching. My hands sweat and my hair rises. Hide me.

This boy (we have three) has asked us the oddest things (and I paraphrase, below) since the day he could talk. He somehow learned to chatter early, and quite well—definitely before I was ready.

Once, he spotted a spider in the upper left corner of our hallway and set out to explain to any soul who would listen, in his two-year-old voice (and logic), that the spider was crying. How he came to that conclusion, I’ll never know. The spider wasn’t making a sound!

Every time he saw any little eight-legger from that point on, he jumped up and down and exclaimed, “Pider cwying. Pider cwyyyying!” Our homeschooling adventure with him had begun!

I should have known that the wacky questions from my little fireball of energy would follow. Many of you, with your own kiddos, can relate, I’m sure. My son has an imagination that will not stop:

Age two:

“Mommy, do chickens eat cookies?”

“Ummm…no. I don’t believe they do.”

“Why not?”

“Well, they were not made to eat cookies. The opportunity doesn’t often present itself, I guess.”

“Yes, but do chickens have lips?”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake. No, they have a beak. Hey, look, we’re almost at the park. Do you have your water bottle?”

“I want to be a racecar when I grow up. Can I?”

“You can drive a racecar, perhaps, but no, really you can’t become one. You are a human being.”

“But I want to be a racecar.”

“Son, you’re two years old. Give your career goals some TIME. Oh, look! There’s the park.”

Conversations with a nine-year-old can be just as offbeat. Like the time this same funny boy came to me extremely concerned that our dog, Liesel, possibly thought that he was just a fellow canine.

He said, “But Mom, how do you know that she knows I’m a person? Maybe she thinks I am another dog. I don’t want her to think I’m like the other dogs around here. I’m really human. Do you think she knows?”

“Yes, Son, she knows.”

“But how do you know that she knows? She can’t see herself, so she may not know what she is, or what I am.”

“Trust me. She knows that she’s a dog and you are a boy. A human boy.”

“But how do you know that?”

“I just do. She is quite aware that you are NOT a dog like her.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Go clean your room.”

Years later…

“Can my hen climb down a tree?”

“No, that would be impossible.”

“I put her up there and she’s cackling.”

“What on earth … how high?”

“Really high.”

“Which tree?”

“You know … that pine tree out front. And the rooster is at the bottom, all nervous.”

“Well, I’d be, too, if my spouse were trapped in a tree! Go get her down!”

Now that he is older, the questions aren’t so unbaked. Instead, they’re really intense. Lately I hear myself saying, “Go ask Dad. That’s a ‘dad’ question.”

I don’t remember being this inquisitive in school. Nor do I recall my friends with imaginations like his. And it’s not just my family.

This “ever-curiousness” seems to be somewhat the norm in homeschool families. The kids are hanging out with their parents, so they ask grown-up questions earlier. They are afforded individual attention, so their time is better spent learning.

They get enough sleep, avoid threats from bullies (usually, anyway), and can relax. They have the freedom to learn without worry of peers, worry of teachers, worry of what’s to come.

A homeschool house does not have a “sheep mentality.” It’s a living, breathing “think tank” that will challenge you in more ways than you can imagine. And across the board, homeschooled students carry on very well; you know this. And while I was not trained to be a homeschool mama, my kids are being trained to be homeschool mamas and papas. They’ll do it even better than we are!

Keep up the good work and when you are at times tempted to rip out your hair, or if you are afraid of the upcoming “school years,” remember that your little talker will someday be a brainy adult … an independent thinker who will make a positive societal impact. To be sure, you are giving him an opportunity that is unmatched.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Gena and her husband Paul reside in Dandridge, Tennessee, where they homeschool their four children: Paul (15), Luke (13), Levi (11), and Julia Rachel (8). They enjoy long country drives while listenting to books on CD, hanging out with good friends and staying up late. Gena and Paul are publishers of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine. www.TheHomeschoolMagazine.com Visit Gena’s blog at www.HomeschoolBlogger.com/TOSPublisher.

From an interview with Chris Klicka, Senior Counsel for the Home School Legal Defense Association

By Lorrie Flem

Knock, knock.

“Who’s there?”

“CPS.” [Child Protection Services]

You dread the thought of visitors like this, but reality is it could happen to you. The Home School Legal Defense Association has helped 1,069 homeschool families with social worker contacts and investigations during the past year (June 2004-June 2005).

Are you ready if they do knock on your door? Here are seven basic principles to employ if the answer to your “Knock, knock” is “CPS.”

1. Do not let them into your home or allow them to talk to your children unless they have a court order signed by a judge. Beware. CPS employees have been known to claim they cannot tell you the allegations against you until you admit them into your home. This is not true.

2. Immediately ask for a business card. Check to confirm they are who they claim to be, and keep the card to give to your attorney. At this point you can ask them to wait outside while you call your attorney or HSLDA if you are a member.

3. Ask what the allegations are. HSLDA drafted and helped pass a federal law that requires social workers to disclose all allegations “at the initial time of contact.”

4. Tell them you will be glad to talk to them further but that they will need to make an appointment after you have spoken to your husband and attorney.

5. If you are HSLDA members, HSLDA will talk to the social worker and set the boundaries for a future meeting with the parents in a neutral location. CPS will normally send a letter and “battle for your front door” to get in. The contact needs to be homeschool related.

6. Know you have a Fourth Amendment right under the U.S. Constitution to be free from unreasonable seizures and searches. This means you don’t have to let a social worker into your home without a court order or warrant. HSLDA successfully drafted and passed a federal amendment requiring all social workers in the country to be trained in their duty to protect your constitutional rights.

7. Bring a witness or tape recorder to all future contacts with social workers, and make sure meetings take place in a neutral location. Warning: every social worker situation is different, and social workers don’t always follow the law or their own procedures. It is best to immediately contact an attorney or HSLDA to get advice for your situation.

Join HSLDA and get professional legal representation for your homeschooling: www.hslda.org/join/apply.asp

Chris Klicka, Senior Counsel for the Home School Legal Defense Association:

“ No probable cause, no search warrant. HSLDA has won cases against social workers clearly stating that anonymous tips or mere suspicion are not sufficient to rise to the level of probable cause. The only way to get probable cause is when a crime is being committed. Further, HSLDA has found that most tips are anonymous, so normally a social worker cannot get a court order. This does not stop them from trying to bluff you by threatening to take you to court or getting a police officer.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Lorrie Flem is the happy rib of Randy, loves staying at home, homeschooling and being “Mama” to their eight children. Lorrie has authored a number of books, publishes TEACH Magazine, speaks nationally, and is known for her humorous and gentle words of encouragement. www.TEACHMagazine.com

I was three, and there was never any doubt in my mind that I was the Center of the Universe. So when other people, namely my older sister, didn’t recognize my position of sovereignty, it needed to be dealt with swiftly and sternly.

I threw open the door to the basement of our small house in Fairbanks, Alaska, and glided down the stairs. My sister was tearing around in circles on her pretty, shiny red tricycle. I stepped onto her expressway as she rounded the bend and with one hand on my hip I signaled with the other for her to HALT. Out of sheer curiosity, my 6-year-old sister screeched to a stop within inches of my imperial toes. I laid hold of the handlebars and announced, “See this bike? It’s mine now. Get off right now and don’t touch it without asking me.” With a glint in her eyes, she revved up and promptly ran me over. Then she put it in reverse and ran me over again to make sure I got the message. The gentry rebel.

Fast forward. I was 5 and she was 8 when I gave it another go. I barged into her room and started unplugging her Holly Hobby lamp. “See this lamp? You’ve had it long enough. It’s mine now. It matches my curtains and you’re gonna let me have it.” She grabbed the other end of that lamp and let me have it, all right. Have you ever actually seen stars after a blow to the head? They’re pretty.

Fast forward. Eielson Air Force Base, Alaska. I was 7, she was 10, and it was time once again for our Saturday Morning Breakfast War.

“ I get the first pancake,” she announced.

“ Bull Honky you do. You watch. I’ll get it because I’m littler, cuter, and everyone likes me better,” I countered.

As the spatula bearing the golden circle made its way toward the table, we both mentally willed our mother to drop the prize upon our plate. I smiled evilly at my adversary as it landed in front of me. I was the victor. Without hesitation, my sister stretched across the table and licked the length of my pancake from top to bottom and said, “Enjoy.”

The only thing I could do at that point was sneeze on it twice and slide the plate over to her. Then we both waited for my mother to bring the next pancake over for us to fight over.

Fast forward to 1982. Greenham Common Air Force Base, England. I was 10 and she was 13. As the school bus pulled onto our street, Gena leapt up before me to beat me off the bus. Taking this as a challenge, and wanting our large audience on the packed bus to know who was in charge, I pushed her down and clambered over her, then ran out onto the green field to jeer and dance at her. Within seconds, the entire busload shifted, and all the kids were pressed up against the windows to see the retaliation. And then suddenly I was airborne, being swung around and around in circles by my long stringy brown hair while the bus crowd marveled at my sister’s strength—and at the distance she was able to hurl me. Such impudence. It was unfair that the bus pulled away before they were all able to witness the bloody nose I gave her. Yet, such was life.

Fast forward. Back in the state of Washington. I was 12 and she was 15. We became more psychological in our warfare. Whenever our parents would flee the home for a few hours of peace, the bell would ring, and the rounds would begin. Somehow she was always able to lock me out of the house first. I was a wiry little thing, though, so I could generally find a basement window to pry open and stuff myself through. Yet she was becoming more savvy. When I found a bathroom window that had been brainlessly left unlocked, I cheered my good fortune. Rather, I should have been suspicious of the obvious trap she laid. Once my body was wrenched in halfway, she flew out from behind the shower curtain with a battle cry and hit me dead on, full force in the face with a frying pan. There were those stars again—circling birdies, too, that time. Yet my rage had been invoked, and she was smart enough to flee the house. I locked all the doors and then set up butcher knives around each of the windows to let her know I meant business. When she somehow managed to sneak back in (I still don’t know how she did it; we didn’t have a chimney), she charged at me like a wild banshee and kicked me down the flight of stairs before I could kill her. As I went tumbling, banging, crashing down the stairs I nearly giggled with glee as a plan formed. I had just watched an episode from Little House on the Prairie that gave me a splendid idea. As I hit the bottom, I lay still for a good thirty seconds, as if I’d been knocked out. Then slowly as I began to stir, I saw her staring down at me from the railing. I shook my head and pretended to be dazed, then started to sit up—but suddenly froze, put on a look of abject terror, and began shrieking, “I can’t feel my legs … I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS!” Boy, that was fun. I carried that on even several hours after my parents got home. She got it good.

This went on and on and on. We actually had to attend different high schools. I truly hated my sister. I despised her to the core, and she me. It is one of the unquestioning feats of God’s true power that either of us got saved and that we ended up becoming better friends than any best friend could be. Where at one time we would have just as soon murdered each other dead, God changed us both and blessed us with a David/Jonathan relation. How merciful, gracious, and patient He is. And I don’t take it for granted. Most of my grownup friends have little, superficial, or even no relationship with their siblings. And how sad that is.

Now that I’m a mama and have a troop of children to contend with, I know that I want more for my sons and daughters. God perhaps did a miraculous work in my sister’s life and mine, yet is it possible, or even feasible, to create an environment in my home that would foster friendships among my children like the one I now enjoy with my sister?

I think it is. It’s been only recently that I’ve been realizing how incredibly annoying, and grievous, it is to hear my children bicker, taunt, or make one another feel bad about themselves. So I’ve decided that they won’t anymore. After all, we are Christians. We are called to be kind, compassionate, slow to anger; to build one another up in love; to get rid of all bitterness, malice, and/or envy; to look to others’ needs above our own. My children all claim Christ, and so I will hold them accountable. A while back we were in the car, and my wide-awake daughter Ryann was showering my oldest, sleepy daughter, Coie, with questions. Finally, in some frustration, my Coie snapped at her a bit and asked her to please stop talking.

I turned around and asked her, “If your friend Jessica or Tori or Natalie was in the car and they were the ones asking you questions, would you speak to them like that?” Coie was embarrassed; she knew that she never would have.

“ Ryann is your very best friend,” I told her. “God has given you such a gift, and you should at the very least treat her as well as you would your friends from church.”

About a week later, my Coie came to me and let me know that she had been praying that God would strengthen the bond between them, and that they were, indeed, becoming closer. She also confessed that while she was praying for God to change some of Ryann’s habits, it suddenly struck her that God was more interested in changing her (Coie’s) heart, rather than Ryann’s personality. That actually made me tear up. YES! My daughter got it. She got it! And they continue to strive to be very best friends.

The years that Gena and I wasted are shameful. Others witnessing our behavior—even by the world’s standard—surely must have thought us disgraceful and disgusting. We were unbearable to be around.

I want so much more for my children. I have been given a gift of time—a very short time—to encourage them to build life-long, godly relationships. They do love one another, and as Christians they have such an opportunity to practice kindness, love, grace, patience, peace, self-control, gentleness, and joy every day in our home. What a treasure! How foolish I’d be if I did not use this time to train them in these. God help me to remember to build my family up by example. These, above all, are the lessons I want to be learned in our classroom.

*Printed with permission from best friends Coie and Ryann Igarashi

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Jenefer Igarashi, TOS’s Senior Editor, lives in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee with her husband, Geoff, and their six children, ages 16 years to 1 year. Jen enjoys writing fiction and has won two awards from Writer’s Digest. The whole family enjoys construction projects, good books, and jumping on their trampoline. Come say hi to Jen on her blog page at www.HomeschoolBlogger.com/JenIg.

Copyright 2005. Used with permission. The Old Schoolhouse Magazine. Right now, 19 free gifts when you subscribe. www.TheHomeschoolMagazine.com