Read any headlines lately? Seen the newest Halloween masks in the stores? Walk down the street alone in the dark? Yikes. It’s scary out there.

We live in a world that is frightening. War, greed, violence, selfishness, shortages…there seems to be plenty of that in this world.

What or who makes you feel safe?

Women’s libbers, sorry to burst your I-can-do-it-by-myself bubble, but my husband is my protector. I like it when my man opens my door for me. I like it when, as we walk, he gently places a protective hand at the small of my back to guide me around an obstacle in my path. I like it when, as we walk along a street, he walks closest to the traffic, providing me a barrier from possible danger and pot hole splashes.
Read the rest of this entry »

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

“We need this exit,” I abruptly told my husband. We had been deep into a friendly discussion and, not realizing the turn was so close, I had failed to give him my usual warning time.

“You’re wrong!” was his emphatic answer as he drove right passed the exit. Our friendly conversation was forgotten, the mood changed in an instant.

My husband and I were in the car—again—this time, on our way to Georgia to help our daughter-in-law settle into a new apartment while our son was otherwise engaged with the military. Thankfully, she was following behind us in another vehicle rather than listening to the debate in our car.

“I’m the one with the map!” I reminded him.
Read the rest of this entry »

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Luke 10:38-42
“Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’* feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” And Jesus* answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” NKJV

Read the rest of this entry »

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Hunter and Haley have been married nearly ten years. They already have two preschoolers. To outsiders their marriage would appear to be a success, but not everything is as appearances suggest. Before they were married Hunter wanted to go overseas and teach English in a two-thirds world country. Haley resisted the idea, citing health concerns, poor pay, and the lack of good schools for their children. To accommodate his wife, Hunter reluctantly gave up his dream and has spent his career in a civil service position instead.

Today he finds himself struggling with anger and resentment toward her. He seems obsessed with the past, imagining what life could have been like it he had not listened to her. "If only," he says day after day to himself. "If only I had followed my heart."

Jack and Courtney have been married seven years. Jack comes home from work one day and finds the house strangely quiet. When he walks up to their bedroom, he discovers Courtney’s closet is empty. Bewilderment soon gives way to panic, and Jack begins furiously searching the house for some clue to what has happened. In his hunt, he at first misses the obvious - a note pinned to a throw pillow on the bed. Trembling, he picks it up and scans its contents. Read the rest of this entry »

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Marriage is a two way street, no doubt about that. Last week my husband came home from work and
started complaining about an ingrown toenail; automatically I showed him mine. Then he started
talking about his dry hands, again I showed him mine. I didn’t think much about it, until my son
came home from school and started talking about his chapped lip. Again I talked about mine. OMG!
How rude and selfish have I been. That’s where the idea for this article came from.

1) Me

Try and use the word "Me" less! You probably don’t even realize how often you use that word. Same
with the word "I". Once you catch yourself using that word try and think of something else to say
in it’s place. Like maybe "You". How is your ingrown toenail, how are your chapped lips, etc.

2) Lighten Up

Laugh, act silly, tell jokes! If you are anything like me you are the "Mature One"; Sometimes I
feel like I’ve lost my sense of humor cause I am always being "Mom". Responsibility tends to
suck the life out of you. Try and find some humor in life, even if it means reading a book of
jokes. Here’s a starter " What did one Volcano say to the other"? I Lava You!

3) Think Back

Find a nice, quiet, relaxing place and close your eyes. Think back to when you and your spouse
first met. What attracted him to you? Remeber how jealous you got when someone flirted with him?
Remember how you felt just being around him; you didn’t want to leave his side.

4) Communicate

When he comes home from work don’t start griping about the kids, your job, etc. {There’s time
later for that}. Find interesting things to talk about, keep up with current events, read the
newspaper, watch the news. Try and talk about something beside the kids and jobs. Ask questions!

What would you do if you won the lottery?
If you could live anywhere, Where?
If you could have one physical thing changed, what?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

This article was written by Jan Emo. Jan is a wahm, freelance writer, and editor of "Lighten Up"
ezine. You can subscribe to her Biz Orientated with Humor {free ads} newsletter at:
http://LightenUp.notlong.com.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

What have you done lately to show the woman you married that you love her? Did you take her out to dinner? Maybe you bought her some flowers or chocolates? A man likes to do these things for a woman because it’s easy and fast. But is your wife really appreciating the flowers and chocolates? In this article I have mentioned a few other useful tricks you can do to show your wife that you love her.

1. Validate the woman you married

A woman needs her man to validate her feelings. I know sometimes this is challenging for you to do, especially if you disagree with something she needs your support on. There is a correct way to do this without being offensive and hurting her feelings.

First of all be understanding of your wife’s feelings and then collaborate her on her thoughts and ideas even if they differ from yours. In essence, when you listen to your wife’s feelings, without criticizing her, you have essentially given her the validation she needs. Everyone needs validation from time to time; it makes them feel useful and productive individuals.

By trying to be more understanding, essentially you will be respecting the woman you married. Tell her how much you like her decorating style, or how she manages the home, or the way she dresses. Find the things about your wife you really like, be honest and tell her the great things you love about her instead of keeping those feelings inside.

Validation is a form of acceptance that you can give your wife. By accepting her for the woman she is it will make her feel safe and secure being your wife. A woman who feels safe and loved by her man will ultimately give more of her self to him

Ironically, a husband can validate his wife’s feelings better when he takes the role of spiritual leader in the home. A man who feels secure in his position is more likely to make his wife feel good about who she is in the marriage. They work better together as a team, accomplishing more for them selves and the marriage.

2. Be more Affectionate with your wife

Hold your wife’s hand while watching TV, taking a walk, or driving in the car. Massage her back or feet without asking for anything in return. Your wife likes to be touched and fussed over occasionally, know when that time is by being attune to your wife’s feelings, and paying special attention to your wife on those days.

2. Surprise your wife with something totally unexpected

Instead of golfing with your buddies on Saturday, take your wife to a romantic outside lunch if it is summer or fireplace lunch in the winter. Then take her to a romantic comedy matinee movie. Or if you have the money to spend, book a hotel room for the night with a Jacuzzi and enjoy the night together! Your wife will love all this.

Make her a homemade all-occasion card on the computer telling her how important she is to you in your life. Make her feel special. Get creative, draw her a picture, and spend time on creating this card, she will love it that you took the time to make her a card rather than simply buying one from the store. It is the simple things in life that mean the most.

4. Give your wife the whole day off from cooking, children, and house cleaning.

This isn’t too hard. On your day off do everything for her. Do all the things she does for you. If you don’t know how to cook, order pizza or Chinese food. Let your wife spend the day with her friends shopping or going to lunch, etc. When she comes home give her a back rub, take her shoes off, draw her a hot bubble bath and let her take a long bath. When she comes out from her bath, light the candles, caress her some more and just be there for her all the rest of the evening. Be her loving, romantic and protecting man so she can be the woman God made her to be for you.

5. Appreciate all that your wife does

All of the above will show your wife that you love her and appreciate her for everything that she does. Being understanding of your wife’s feelings and needs on a consistent basis will improve the quality of your marriage a great deal. By taking the respective roles that God has designed for each gender will greatly enhance the happiness of your marriage. Be the man of the house so she can be the lady of the house.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Angie Lewis is the author of "Love The Man You Married", a women’s handbook for marriage that brings back the greatest design for marriage there ever was. Angie reveals the biblical secrets for the ideal marriage, from infidelity to forgiveness, where each chapter desribes in detail the divinly inspired answers for you to apply into your marriage.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Are you a controlling wife? Do you take your husband for granted? Most women don’t realize it but they abuse their husbands daily just by their actions. Many women of today feel that marriage revolves solely around them and their husband’s are supposed to give them everything their heart desires.

If we aren’t getting what we want from our man could it be because we are not treating our man like a man? Stop pushing him around and he’ll come around.

1. Don’t undermine your husband’s decision making

This is a biggy in marriage. Isn’t it true that we women want things our way! We have been taught from grade school to go after our dreams and aspirations in life no matter what the consequences, even if that means rejecting our husband’s needs and wishes. We do what WE want and what WE need. Why would a woman of today be so determined to chip away at her husband’s manly authority and advice?

Face it ladies, we haven’t exactly helped to make our man feel like a man. If we don’t accept the man we married, why would we expect to get what we want from him? If we are rejecting, blaming, controlling, demeaning, undermining, and complaining about our husbands we certainly aren’t respecting the man we married.

If we weaken our husband’s manly resolve what’s left but our feminist attitude and bossy selfish egos? Are we taking the man we married for granted? I think we are and that’s what’s killing marriage! How do I know all this? I used to undermine my husband all the time. I wouldn’t let him be the man of the house. I was bossy and rebellious. I want you to know what I have come to know. It’s great!

2. Don’t reject your husband

How many times last month did you tell your husband that you were too tired or had a headache or simply shrugged him off because you were mad at him? Probably more times then you really think. Shouldn’t we want to satisfy our husband’s needs every single day, regardless, whether we feel like it or not? We women need to please and satisfy the men we’re married to and we’ll get our hearts desire. We really will!

3. Give your husband space (time with buddies)

Do you complain because your husband likes to have free time away with the guys? Maybe you feel he should be home doing chores or watching the children on his day off. But face it ladies, our man deserves time away to be with his friends to play golf, fish or hunt, or whatever it is he does just as much as we deserve to be with our friends. Did you know that a husband that is allowed the freedom to be with his buddies is a happier and more content filled man? Isn’t that what we want anyway?

4. Cook your husband hot and nutritious meals every day

It is so true that one way to our man’s heart is through his stomach. Ask any man and he’ll tell you. I know that some of you ladies who work out of the home just don’t have the time to cook nice meals everyday. Buy a crock-pot and a crock-pot cookbook and learn to make delicious homemade meals with it. Crock-pot cooking is so simple. You throw all the ingredients in the pot and it cooks safely all day, and the food will be ready when you both come home from work.

5. Respect your husband

What’s so hard about respecting the man we married? If we control the marriage and feel that our husband can’t do anything as good as we can, we certainly won’t be able to respect him, right? Is treating your husband like one of the children respecting him? Is complaining about their faults respecting him? Is telling him what he’s going to do respecting him? Is rejecting him sexually respecting him? Is belittling him respecting him? Well then, stop doing all these things and you are on your way to respecting the man you married.

6. Let your husband protect you

God made man to be the protector of women. Men love to do it, they want to do it, and they feel like a man when we let them do it. But most married women don’t feel they need protected because they can take care of themselves. They carry mace, a gun and take karate classes and act like a man and still, they are getting beaten, raped, manhandled, and murdered. If a woman is married why on earth would she want to take away her husbands god-given natural abilities as a protector?

A married woman needs to allow her husband do his job in the manner in which he does it best, by protecting and loving his wife with the natural abilities God gave him. How can a man do that when the woman won’t let him? This is how a man loves his woman!

Seriously now, it’s really that simple. What would happen if we didn’t allow our husbands to protect us? We would be rejecting their love for us. Don’t you want to be loved by your man? Did you know that when we don’t let our husband’s love us the way God meant for a man to love his wife, we are rebelling against God?

7. Submit to your husband (love God)

Ladies, first you must learn to submit to God. This was a major issue in my marriage for many years because I didn’t accept God. I was looking out into the world for the answers to my marriage problems when the answers were within my spiritual self the whole time. I finally grew to accept and love God. That is the root of submitting right there.

By growing out from the selfish person I was, I learned to understand what submitting to my husband was all about. Once a woman learns to submit to her husband she will see that by submitting she is actually in more control of the marriage and a better marriage wife because of it. In other words, a woman will not lose anything of her self by submitting but will gain more of herself that was lost.

"Now I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." 1 Corinthian’s 11:3

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Angie Lewis is the author of "Love The Man You Married", a women’s handbook for marriage that brings back the greatest design for marriage there ever was. Angie reveals the biblical secrets for the ideal marriage, from infidelity to forgiveness, where each chapter desribes in detail the divinly inspired answers for you to apply into your marriage.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Romancing Marriage

Sensuality and passion between couples becomes heightened when they share in fun and enjoyable things together. We’re always learning, growing and noticing new things about the person we married. They change and they grow and as we share stimulating and interesting times with our spouse so does our perception of them change in a way we didn’t think possible. And this is why we shouldn’t let our marriage become dreary and mundane but always seek out fun and challenging things to share together.

1. Try to remember what you liked about your spouse from when you were first married. What did you do to woo your husband/wife? Do it again! Sometimes, especially if we have been married for a while we tend to take each other for granted and forget about how much we love the person we married.

It’s true, we do change as we experience life and as we get older but were not different people. Hopefully we are smarter, more experienced, happier, and more fun loving as we age. Did you know that couples who grow spiritually and mentally together instead of apart have better marriages? It’s true!

2. Don’t feel intimidated to try something different from your usual routine. Couples can literally get so caught up in their daily routines that they miss out on the special opportunities to add a little pack of spunk into their marriage. This is also true in the lovemaking department. Try different techniques and different positions. There is no need to be shy with your spouse, more than likely, they too would like to try something different out of the ordinary.

Try your expertise at bowling, roller-skating, or ice-skating, see a movie, or walk in the mall. Anything! Sharing time together doing things you normally wouldn’t do brings excitement and fun back into a mundane relationship while bringing you closer together.

If you like a challenge, or you’re a thrill seeker, try skydiving, bungie jumping or for the more conscience at heart and a bit safer, how about a roller coaster ride. But by all means do these thrilling things together.

3. Take the weekend off and go somewhere romantic. Snow anyone? You don’t necessarily need to know how to ski to enjoy the amenities and beauty of a ski lodge. Lounge in the Jacuzzi, go sledding, take long walks outdoors, or sit by the fire talking about anything and everything. But leave work and home life out of the conversation.

Take a trip to a lake in your area and stay overnight in a cabin. Go fishing, swimming, hiking, backpacking with your husband and eat by the campfire. Sleep in a tent and roast marshmallows.

4. Take a three-day spiritual/meditation retreat together. This will do wonders for the body, mind and soul. It will give you the relaxation you need to refresh your whole outlook on life and rejuvenate your marriage too.

5. Write down all the things you love about your husband/wife and share your thoughts with each other. Sometimes we forget to tell our spouse how much we love them or why we love them, but we all need to hear those words once in awhile. It’s that bit of reassurance that brings music to our ears as it reminds us how blessed we really are to have married the person we did. Let’s not forget about all those little things we love about our husband/wife. Let’s tell them today!

6. Make up your own coupon booklet on the computer and give it to your husband/wife. In the coupon booklet for an example a coupon might read, "This coupon good for a 1/2 hour back rub." The next coupon might read, "Coupon good for 20 minute foot massage." The next coupon might say, "Good for one night out at your favorite restaurant. Coupon booklets are great because we can customize them to our needs and wants too. Happy Romancing!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Angie Lewis is the author of "Love The Man You Married", a women’s handbook for marriage that brings back the greatest design for marriage there ever was. Angie reveals the biblical secrets for the ideal marriage, from infidelity to forgiveness, where each chapter desribes in detail the divinly inspired answers for you to apply into your marriage.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Do you ever experience pressure from work and home at the same time?
If you’re like most working men you know when things are out of balance at home work tends to be more stressful.

For years I was a partner in a law firm. It never failed, when there were pressures at home, performance on the job suffered. When things were good at home there was more balance between team members at the office.

Over the years I have had numerous conversations with friends and associates regarding work/life balance. There seems to be a common thread of agreement - when our wives and girlfriends feel loved we tend to have more balance not only at home, but at work.

Fact is, men need to feel loved as much as our life partners do. However, love to a man usually means something very different than what it means to a woman. If you are married and have been with your wife for any length of time you know of what I speak.

Having been happily married for many years now, I fully understand that my wife needs, wants and deserves special attention. Yes, that’s right…deserves.

Your wife is probably no different. And lest I be misunderstood by any single men and women who are reading this, if you are in a long-term committed relationship, this applies to you as well.

Your loving partner needs, wants, and deserves special attention, maybe more often than you may think to give it to her. You are busy, pre-occupied with work, aggravated with things at work that occupy your time and most likely, stressed out. You’re probably tired much of the time.

Who has the time or the energy to even think about romance? Fact is, many marriages are going through tough times because people forget the reasons they fell in love in the first place. Romance has taken a back seat to everything else. Often, a woman can be heard saying, "He just isn’t paying enough attention to me."

If your wife or girlfriend has said that to you, it is time to definitely pay attention to the warning signs of a relationship on the edge.

Think about it. When’s the last time you showered your wife with attention and a special gift? When did you let the worries of your day slip away in order to let your wife or partner know how much you love her and how special she is to you? What may seem like a little while to you may be an eternity to her.

I have a solution. Take time to really think about what you can do to show your sweetheart how much you care for her. If you have been with your partner for any length of time you have been given plenty of insider information as to what makes her feel loved.

If you are going to purchase a gift think about what she would enjoy receiving from you. And no, in most cases, tickets to a sports event is not the answer here. Sure she may enjoy that on occasion, but truth be told, you want to make any gift, no matter the cost, really special.

Try this. Go shopping for romance cards. Start immediately to send the first of the cards. Repeat this each day for a week. And yes, do send them. This will keep you focused on her every day.

In each card, write a message about a unique gift she will receive. Maybe it’s a foot massage, or you will run her a bubble bath and give her a shoulder massage. What about a walk in the park or an afternoon matinee movie? The gifts don’t have to be financially costly, but they should require some time on your part. For most women your time will mean much more than an expensive gift. And yet, the expensive gift can work well too.

You know, and I know, women love to be pampered. Imagine your wife’s surprise when you treat her to such a memorable experience. Of course, you never know what might happen during the course of you showing her with your love, affection and appreciation.

With the pressure of work and personal demands, a huge challenge we have is to make sure those people we love know it, day in and day out. Imagine what it would be like to not have the opportunity to let our loved ones know we care.

Doesn’t your wife, partner, lover, friend and confidant deserve to know how much you care. I think so and you do too.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Dennis Twitchell
This story comes out of their just released FREE eBook - Beary Special Moments; Heartwarming Stories from Around the Globe. Click http://www.justbearsandstuff.com/signupbonus.htm . The ebook was produced by Just Bears and Stuff Gift Shop.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Anyone can be assertive but it involves practice. We can’t just one day say, "Hey I’m going to be assertive today." We have to realize the times when we need to be assertive and practice it.

In marriage there are many times when we need to be assertive with our spouse. We may need to let them know how we FEEL for instance. Being assertive is good for marriage. I’ll tell you why.

1. It lets our spouse know how we feel

2. It tells our spouse that we have self confidence in what we do

3. It allows us to have what we need and want

4. We become more self assured in everything we do

Assertiveness isn’t being aggressive, rude or violent. Assertiveness is expressing our self properly by telling others what we want and who we are.

I’m going to show you how to be assertive with your spouse without being overbearing and aggressive. We don’t want to get overbearing, but we do want them to know how we are feeling.

People-pleasing types have a difficult time being assertive because they won’t speak up for themselves. They want their spouse and friends to be happy, but later feel resentful and needy because of it.

We cannot be happy in marriage if we’re ALWAYS trying to make our spouse happy! Can we?

When we apply assertive thinking into our life and marriage we realize how much more content we are with our self and others because we are pleasing our self instead of everyone else. Resentment? What’s that?

When we are self-assured and know what it is we want and need, we become who we are and we show others who we are.

We can still please others and be assertive, and so we shouldn’t become selfish over it, and only consider our feelings. We need to find balance that brings us, as well as our spouse, and anyone else in the home, the happiness we all deserve.

I know that many couples struggle in their marriage and it’s because of something a spouse did or didn’t do. These couples are unhappy and on the verge of divorce. But you see, if they would stop focusing on what their spouse did or didn’t do, and start focusing on what THEY can do about it, they would begin to "grow out" from the problems they carry from within.

Divorce has now become the easy way out. But this is a selfish and unrealistic way to perceive happiness. Happiness is something that you cannot find through others. To gain it, you must go after it. You cannot sit around hoping your partner will change, so you can be happy. You need to do something about it from your end. That is where assertiveness comes in.

Somehow we expect our partners to know how we are feeling and expect them to cater to our every need. But this isn’t right. We can’t expect our spouse to know how we’re feeling. We need to speak up and tell them, and we can start by being assertive with what we have to say.

If someone doesn’t know "who they are" or what they want out of life, they will never truly be happy-no matter who they are married to. The grass looks better on the other side of the fence, but it’s a mirage.

We please our self by being assertive, and when we do assert our self we FEEL more loving. Love will flow freely from our heart and this is real love. Real love doesn’t have any conditions or stipulations that need met, because we have already taken care of what we want for our selves by being assertive!

This is the kind of love that we all want, but no one ever seems to get. When we are happy and peaceful with who we are, we certainly don’t need to be sponging off our spouse for happiness. We can give them more room to be who it is they are too. And now, instead of both spouses’ being unhappy and miserable in the marriage, they both can be happy together!

Ironically, the more we please our self, the better marriage partner we become. With our own needs fulfilled, we will have so much more to give.

Husbands prefer their wives to be assertive with them. They actually want to please their wives. They want their wives to be happy. But all too often husbands don’t know what it is their wife needs because she doesn’t speak up for her self assertively!

She wants to please everyone all the time, but afterwards, she complains about it, but it’s too late by then. Sound familiar?

The problem starts when a "people pleaser" spouse has given to their limit, and ends up unfulfilled and discontented. Sometimes the need for fulfillment comes in the form of desperation, and causes all sorts of problem in the marriage. Bing! The grass SEEMS very green on the other side of the fence again. Now what?

The real problem is, couples aren’t being assertive enough to tell each other what it is they want. Expectations become so huge that when they aren’t fulfilled, disappointment and resentment steps in.

Someone in the marriage needs to break this pattern before things get out of hand. Don’t expect your spouse to do this. Hang-up the pride and start respecting who you married. Choose to love. You can start by being assertive about what you really want.

If we don’t get the respect or love from our spouse that we think we’re entitled to, we start to cling to them for it, by any means possible. We might complain, nag, yell, scream, clam up, and become resentful.

The truth is, the more we cling to our spouse for happiness and try and control them through our neediness, the more they will back off from us, and the more desperate we will become. This is why I stress so often in my articles that to find happiness, we FIRST need to find it from within our self.

To get respect, FIRST we need to be respectful, to be loved, we first need to be loving. If we find this too difficult to do, then we back away for a while until it becomes easier for us to do. It is God’s will that we respect, and honor the person we married. Don’t beg for happiness.

We can seek peace and contentment through the spiritual self. We all have a spirit that God has given us. This spirit within us is all we need to bring happiness and peace into our lives. That means we should stop looking to what the culture does for their marriage and seek out what God wants for us.

"We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us." 1 Corinthians 2:12

By utilizing the Spirit of God for marriage we will be given the understanding to know everything we need to know to be happy, peaceful, and content filled in marriage.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Angie Lewis offers spiritual enlightenment tips for couples in marriage, and is the author of new release book JOURNEY ON THE ROADS LESS TRAVELED. This unique book is about love, life, marriage, addiction, temptation, and understanding the power of spiritual awareness for your marriage. In her book, Angie reveals her own journey of overcoming addiction and battling with her negative emotions that she allowed to embrace her life and marriage. To find out more about this new book click here, http://www.spiritual.journeybooks.4t.com/ ISBN 1413788904 Available Amazon online

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!