Simple Acts of Daily Kindness Convey a Ton of Love

When we were just newlyweds back from our honeymoon, my handsome new husband surprised me and said, “When you do the laundry, this is how I want you to fold my clothes – socks, handkerchiefs, T-shirts, etc.”

My eyes grew wide wondering what I had gotten myself into. But not having any better way to do it, I went along with his request. After all, how did I know how to fold a man’s clothes when I was only twenty-one? The drawers actually looked neat and I always felt a sense of satisfaction when it was put away.

I continued that practice over the next two decades. Yet I was surprised when one night as we were getting ready for bed my husband turned to me and said, “I can tell you really love me.”

“Oh, really,” I replied. “What makes you say that?”

“Because every morning I open my dresser drawers, I’ve never run out of clean clothes,” he said.

I smiled back at him and thought to myself, If that’s all it takes to make him feel loved, I can do that! And the laundry continued to get folded as I recalled his words.

BUT the story wasn’t over that easily.

We moved to a new home with room for only l long towel bar in the master bath. And honestly I became annoyed when David laid out his towel open over mine to dry. Mine was never dry as this practice continued and I wasn’t too happy about a damp towel.

Every morning began with that marital rift between us until I brought it up one Saturday.

“Honey,” I began (which I only happen to say when I am broaching a sensitive topic when I want something.) “Did you know that I teach women across the country how to fold towels in thirds with the “Decorative Edge” on the sides? This allows two towels to sit side by side and would really solve our towel problem.”

“Problem?” he replied, “There’s no problem. I just have to do it this way so it will be dry the next time I use it. I can just put up another towel bar – anywhere you want.”

Well, after measuring and pondering where “anywhere” was for that second towel bar, I proclaimed it didn’t fit into our decorating scheme of things. So we continued the banter back and forth, until we realized a folded towel didn’t dry enough if you showered twice in the same day, but did dry overnight. That had begun his “spread out look” but wasn’t really necessary every day, we agreed.

After that definitive discussion, I noticed the next morning that his towel was folded nicely as requested. But I wasn’t ready to thank him for a one day gesture. I just placed mine neatly next to his.

About 10 days later of neatly folded towels I smiled at David one morning and said, “David, I can tell you really love me.” (A couple years had passed since he used that line on me so I knew he had forgotten about it.)

“Oh,” he responded in surprise. “Why is that?”

“Well, you know… you fold your towel the way I like it. Thank you.”

He smiled and we had solved one of the many problems in marriage together.

The moral of the story? Love is not just a matter of candlelight and roses on Valentine’s Day. It’s a matter of everyday kindnesses around the house by doing thoughtful organizing actions to make the day easier for the people you live with whether putting away your dishes in the dishwasher, taking out the trash, or putting the laundry away everyday.

So now it’s your turn. What has your spouse, child, or roommate complained about lately? Never cleaning up the dishes, meals not on time, or dirty socks on the floor?

It’s not a sign of weakness to fix the problem from your end. Actually you will have a stronger relationship for getting for putting in an organizing system that works.

So what can you do? Here’s some tips to start you off:

Him: Pick up your socks and hang up your clothes. You didn’t marry a maid, you married a wife!

Her: Put away your makeup each day. He has enough hurdles to cross each morning without you adding to it.

Him: Take out the trash without being asked. it’s the manly thing to do.

Her: Clean up the kitchen and sit down for a minute to talk. Stop your whirlwind motions and be his “date.”

Him: Express appreciation for a home cooked meal. The meals will probably start improving when you do!

Her: For fun e-mail him what’s for dinner and what time it will be ready. I did this for my family and they all showed up on time!

Together: Discuss whether paper piles and housecleaning chores are working out for your lifestyle. If not, ask what would be most important to improve and work on a solution for that one problem.

Together: Appreciate the strengths of your partner and tell them so. Hold back on the complaints until you get a regular “Appreciation Fan Club” of sincere compliments going in their direction.

“Getting Your Spouse to Do Things” Story: One time when I worked with a decorator who said, “Marcia, I’ve never seen anyone get their husband to do so much. how do you do I?”

I hadn’t thought about that, but the answer came quickly. “I think carefully about what i want done and only show him a short list of three things I want done, and then thank David profusely for doing it!”

VALENTINE’S WEEK: So get organized at home, clean up your “messes,” and be kind to your Sweetheart, roommate, children, dog, or cat. It’s a great way to build a lasting love, one kindness at a time.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Marcia Ramsland is well known as “The Organizing Pro” for her practical skills and tips to manage busy lives. She is a speaker, author, and media guest expert appearing on TV, radio, and in national magazines for her popular books Simplify Your Life, Simplify Your Time, and Simplify Your Holidays (Thomas Nelson). Visit her website, www.organizingpro.com for free tips.