The economy is in the gutter. Gas prices are at all time highs. The kids are whining that there is nothing to do this summer. Don’t spend thousands of dollars on an expensive family vacation. This is the year that frugral families are staying home and taking a staycation. Give it a try.
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Luke 10:38-42
“Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’* feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” And Jesus* answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” NKJV
Dedicated to My Father, My Husband, and My God
My father was a First Sergeant in the Marine Corps, serving in the Vietnam War. He came home with wounds and purple hearts to show for it.
I was born during that time in November of 1967. He was there a few days after I was born but had to return to Vietnam shortly after. He may have come home another time when I was very little, but I don’t remember. I remember seeing him for the first time when I was about five years old. Read the rest of this entry »
by Denise Oliveri
Spring is a great time—it is a time when the flowers begin to bloom, the weather begins to warm and the opportunities for learning and teaching are endless. Now that spring is approaching, you may need some fresh ideas for your preschool class. Here are some ideas for teaching your kids this spring season. Read the rest of this entry »
by Beckie Stewart
The ice on the lake begins to thin and creaks and finally cracks. Spring follows winter and is all about new beginnings. It’s always been my favorite season, but it took on a whole new meaning when I adopted my little girl from Kazakhstan. I brought her home during one of the coldest winters in fifty years in her country. The land had been covered with a thick blanket of white. The temperatures were frigid enough to cause icicles to form off the breathe of the animals abandoned outside. If not properly covered, frostbite would grab a hold of exposed skin within five minutes. Read the rest of this entry »
You are Valuable!
“For you are a holy people to the Lord your God; the Lord your God has chosen you to be a people for Himself, a special treasure above all the peoples on the face of the earth. The Lord did not set His love on you nor choose you because you were more in number than any other people, for you were the least of all peoples; but because the Lord loves you.” NKJV
As crowds of shoppers begin to fill the malls and shopping centers this holiday season, remember to put safety first with your family. Setting some simple ground rules for your shopping trips will keep the holiday shopping experience less stressful.
As parents, we can easily get distracted during the season. We’re constantly rushing around trying to complete all the items on our "To Do" list. We often become so focused on the outcome we may forget to be extra cautious while running all those errands. This time of year is a great opportunity to sit down with your family and go over some basic rules with your kids. These rules should be practiced the entire year, but especially during this hectic time of year. It so important for us as parents to set the ground rules about safety before heading out on those holiday shopping trips. Simple rules such as requiring your children to stay with you at all times while shopping, accompanying and supervising them in public facilities and developing a plan in case you would become separated.
It’s also good to go over some "what-if" scenarios with your children, reviewing with them a proper plan of action if they should happen to look up and find that you aren’t there. You should instruct your children to stay put, close to where they became separated from you so that they will not venture out to the parking lot looking for you or your car.
Reassure children that there are other grown ups who can help hem if they become lost. Security guards and store clerks are just a few examples of people children can learn to recognize as those who can be asked for help. Let your children know that they are not alone and that they shouldn’t panic. You and your lost child need to remain calm. Panic only makes the situation worst.
If you expect to be especially distracted or busy whil shopping, you should plan ahead. It’s probably a great idea to get a babysitter if you think you’ll be distracted while shopping. Your children will probably thank you for letting them have time with their favoite babysitter and not having to be lugged along through the crowded stores. It would probably benefit you as well so that you could get your shopping done a little quicker and with a little less stress!
Following is a list of some safety tips you should follow this holiday shopping season:
By following these simple holiday safety tips, you should be able to eliminate some of the stress that comes along with this busy holiday shopping season.
About the Author:
Yvette Mason, is a wife to a supportive husband, a stay at home mom to 2 terrific kids and an entrepreneur! She has a beautiful daughter who is 10 years old and a spirited little boy who is 5 years old. Like many other mothers, her family is her focus in life. She has a successful home based business in a network marketing company. Her mission is to encourage and assist other mothers in creating a successful WAHM lifestyle. You can learn more about Yvette and sign up for her E-series at http://www.BeyondTheCandle.com
It was funny, the other day I went into my children’s bedroom and found them watching an episode of "My teen’s a nightmare, I’m moving out"! It sort of took me by surprise, seeing myself on TV a few years ago, looking at the situation unfold before me - I had forgotten so much of it. Of course the children think the whole thing is hilarious and find great delight in saying, "Mummy you say that at home, Mummy you make that noise when you are cross with us"…
However, the most shocking thing for me was watching the parents and the teenagers interacting and seeing in a moment of blinding light the problem…. a problem that somehow I missed when I was doing the programme…it was the difference in basic needs. If, as parents, we could grasp this concept before the teen years, then I think they would be so much easier.
Let me explain it to you. In William Glasser’s Choice Theory, he explains that in a relationship we have five basic needs and if our needs differ from that of our partner, parent, teacher etc., then we will be unhappy and our behaviour will become totally irrational. Most relationship problems are due to the struggle between what your basic needs are and getting them met in that relationship.
So what are they?
The first is survival, and we are very lucky in the modern Western World that this need is met, however, if this were not the case, then it would override all others. If we suddenly lost our home and were out on the streets with no money, then the fact that our teenager may answer back in a less than desirable way would seem unimportant.
The next need is love and belonging. As human beings we all want to feel loved and we want to belong. Failure to find love may top the human list of misery. However, our need for love and belonging will differ from someone else’s, and this is where the challenges can begin. For example, I love to feel loved, yet I am not a very loving person and I have a very low need to belong. My eldest daughter has a high need for love and is constantly kissing and cuddling me, which I can find too much. Instead of making her wrong for that, or thinking she has a problem, I can explain to her that her need is greater than mine and that we need to respect each others needs. She is fine with this and, since my husband need is so strong, she gets this met. It helps us understand each other more. My youngest is like me in this respect and when she started school, she spent the first few months sitting a few meters away from any other child. While the teachers thought she had a problem, I just knew she had a low need to belong and was exercising her right. She has now found her own way with this and has realised that if you don’t belong, you have no fun (which is a high need of hers). This need has a huge impact in your child’s school life, a child who appears to not mix may not have low self esteem, just a low need to belong and a child who is always out with friends may not hate their parents, but have a massive need to belong. It may also be important in the way they approach the family unit. If you have a high need to belong and your child does not, then you may always be trying to get them to do things as a family unit and they may be resisting that.
The next is without a shadow of doubt where a lot of the teenage problems occur and that is the need for power. Now, my enlightened moment in the bedroom while watching the TV show was about power. Both mother and daughter had a massive need for power. Mum is trying to keep daughter in and daughter wants to go out, hence war breaks out. Mum is sure there is something wrong with daughter and daughter feels powerless, as no one is listening to her or thinks what she has to say is important. I think that during the teenage years, the need for power does increase within them as they seek their own identity and independence. They need power to do this, they need to exert themselves. If, as a parent, your need for power is very high, then unless you figure out some solutions, there will be problems. Now I am not saying you have to give up your power and give it all to your teenager, you just need to think in a different way. A relationship with your teenager is not about always winning, always being right and getting them to do what you say. If that is how you treat the teenage years, then you will have an interesting time ahead, to say the least. Power, I think, is in essence the power to be seen and heard and I don’t think teenager are seen and heard enough in today’s society. We want someone to listen to what they say. If no one listens to us, we feel the pain of powerlessness, the kind of pain you feel when you are in a different country and no one can understand you. I think what we must remember most is that we are the adults and it may be us that have to back down.
The next need is the need for freedom, which will again differ for each individual. Mine is extremely high, my husband’s quite low and it is generally a need that will only bother us when we perceive it is threatened - hence why grounding is never really a good way to go. If you are a parent with a low need for freedom and your child has a high one, you may not understand their insistence in being out of the house night and day and similarly, if you have the high need and child has a low one you may be going mad trying to get rid of them, wondering why they are still clingy. The key here is just awareness.
The last one is fun and is certainly very high on my agenda. If it ain’t fun, then I ain’t doing it…. and believe me, children who are high in this will most likely have report cards that are say things like, "does not concentrate… never takes things seriously". My response may be, "so what?" We all need to start understanding that people want different things and we cannot treat all teenagers as robots.
What is I think so interesting is the way that all these needs are linked. Survival wipes out all others, although someone who wants more power could override survival, for example, in anorexia. Power destroys love and you have no power if you do not belong and are not loved. When we are loved we have fun and feel free and people with power can take these away. I mean, I could go on forever…. but I won’t.
So what can you do?
First you need to be very clear where you are with these needs, score yourself 1-10 with 10 being high and 1 low, truly understand your need levels. Then look at how you act daily, observe yourself for a week and see how these needs come into play. How do they help and hinder you? What are your partner’s needs, your child’s needs and how does knowing that help you? How could you act differently with this information to hand? What could you put in place that would help everyone get his or her need level met?
At the end of the day, really it is all about communication. You must communicate this information and then help your loved ones reach solutions that feel great for all.
I will be including coaching and information on this in both of my new group coaching courses, beginning in February.
About the Author:
Sarah is one of the best known teen coach due to the high profile she enjoys. She is the only Teen Coach to have hosted her own eight part TV series ‘My Teen’s a nightmare - I’m Moving Out’ and has been seen on most channels with one of her programs being watch by 1 in 4 of the UK population (not that she’s bragging). Sarah is the media’s first choice when it comes to Teen Experts and being interviewed by national newspapers and magazines has become part of this northern lasses routine.
Sarah Newton Consultancy also enjoys an international profile and international client base. Recently, the "My Teens a Nightmare" series has been sold for TV airing in the Netherlands, Belgium and New Zealand to name but a few . Sarah’s first book, " Help! My Teenager is an Alien - the everyday situation guide for parents" was launched in March 2007 and rarely drops out of the top ten parenting teenager books. Sarah has just learnt that her book is to be translated into Polish which is great news however, she is slightly nervous that her strange sense of humor will not translate so well. Visit her website http://www.sarahnewton.com
The only vegetables six-year-old Heather eats are French fries and ketchup — and that’s using the term "vegetable" loosely. What’s alarming is that she’s not alone. Today over 60 percent of children ages two to nine don’t consume the recommended five servings of fruits and vegetables per day.
Children require proper nourishment to be healthy — including eating vegetables. Unfortunately, faux food (fast food and junk food) have replaced whole food. Public health officials warn that unless there is a change in the way our children eat, health problems are sure to plague them. Increasing at alarming rates are heart disease, cancer, and Type 2 diabetes. In addition, childhood obesity has more than tippled over the last forty years.
Even the most resistant child can learn to love healthy foods. Kids discover that whole foods (including veggies) are yummy when you engage all their senses. By making a few simple changes, you can teach your child to love veggies!
1. Stock Healthful Foods
It’ll be difficult to convince your picky eater to eat nutritious foods, if sugar, white flour, and trans fat are common ingredients found in your kitchen. To effectively encourage children to eat whole foods, whole foods must be readily available. Read labels! When you purchase crackers, chips, and cookies, look for items made from whole grains and without hydrogenated oils (trans fat). Even better is to replace processed snack items with nuts, fruit and veggies slices. Obviously, you must control your kid’s snacking. A child who has eaten less than two hours before a meal will not eagerly eat a food predetermined to be "yucky!"
2. Involve All Senses
A common misconception is that a veggie is rejected because of its taste. But according to current research, dislike of various foods most often results from the texture, smell, or even the color of what is to be eaten. Eating vegetables doesn’t usually come naturally: it’s a learning process. Learning involves all the senses. Discuss the attributes of various foods with your child. Pick up and feel its texture. What is the aroma? How does it feel in the mouth? What color is it?
3. Make It Fun
Involve your child with grocery shopping and meal preparation. Have your toddler hold an item from the produce department while you’re in the store. Discuss the value of the foods you’re purchasing with your child. Give your youngster a job to do such as reading the nutrition facts on labels (i.e.: look for the sugar content) and placing items in your cart. Encourage your kid to pick one item from the produce department, which he has never tasted. Then prepare and eat it together.
4. Make Mealtime a Happy Family Time
The table should be a stress-free zone. It’s vital that both dad and mom keep the conversation around the table happy. A good way to transition from a hectic day is to begin the meal by thanking God for what he has done. Always discuss how wonderful the food smells and tastes. Take every opportunity during the meal to educate your child about healthful foods.
5. Be Positive
All family members (including older siblings or even Daddy) may make only affirmative comments about the food at the table. Negative remarks cement the idea that some food tastes bad. Phrases such as "I don’t like that" "It’s disgusting" and "It’s yucky" are forbidden. In addition, praise for eating whole foods and vegetables is vital for success.
6. Employ Stealth Health
Stealth health is changing from an inferior brand of bread to a nutritionally packed one. It’s adding spinach to casseroles and soups. It’s making pancakes with whole-wheat flour and topping with applesauce or peanut butter. Use brown rice in casseroles and slip flax seed oil and barely green into a breakfast fruit smoothie. Other times, it’s making a healthful puréed vegetable soup for the vegetable-challenged child.
7. Don’t Give Up
Be patient. Food, which your child has previously refused, most likely will be sampled between ten and twenty times before acceptance. Don’t rush the process. Explore all the food’s attributes with your child. Give your youngster time to learn how the food feels and smells. Tiny bites of formerly rejected foods are steps in the right direction.
About the Author:
Nonna Joann Bruso is a speaker and the author of "Baby Bites: Transforming a Picky Eater into a Healthy Eater." She offers practical solutions for picky eaters. Her simple-to-follow Baby Bite Steps open the door to healthy eating by incorporating directed-play with positive discipline and nutritious foods. For details see www.babybites.info
Too many children take life so easy; they don’t know what it means to work hard to acquire their desires. They are handed everything they want much too easy. We are in a generation of excess. They want it all, and they want it now! According to Teen Newsweek, October 11, 2004, 30 percent of parents say that brand preference is of "major importance" to their kids. It is sad that many parents let the fad of the generation keep them in debt for their children. Is this only to impress?
In the same study, 75 percent of parents say their kids do fewer chores than children did 10 years ago. In 2003, 12 to19-year-olds spent roughly $175 billion or $53 billion more than in 1997, according to Teen Research Unlimited. Some psychologists say that parents who overindulge their kids may be setting them up for future anxiety and depression. Recent studies show that kids who were given too much too soon often have difficulty coping with life’s disappointments as adults. I often see parents allowing their children to make their own decisions about clothing as well as where they go and who they go with.
Allowing our children to work less and get more, I will say is a big set up for them later in life. We must show discipline in every area of our lives. Disciple has to be in shopping, eating, working, and even thing simple as just talking. Everything we do should always be done with a balance and in love. Consistency is necessary. Proper discipline brings lasting results to both child and parent. We discipline our children to save them pain and disappointment. A lot of us have disciplined our children without realizing why we did it. When our children ask us why we make decisions concerning them, our famous answer is, "Because I told you so." Now what kind of answer is that? We have to be open and honest with our children, most of all we must be stern and firm in our decisions.
Guidelines to Live By
We have standards and guidelines in our home, and while our girls are there with us, they will have to abide by them. If clothing seems to be too revealing, I tell them if you are willing to show it, you may be willing to give it away. My girls on occasion have made comments like, "Well everybody does it," and I kindly say to them, "Well, you’re
not!" I tell them they will be accountable for their actions and stand in judgment one day for every decision made. We all will. You don’t want to shorten your blessings and days on earth by following what others are doing when you know the right thing to do. It’s not worth it!
As parents don’t settle for simple parenting because you feel it will hurt your child’s feelings. We have to put those feelings out of the way and stick to what we feel in our heart is best for our child. What is good for Johnny down the street may not be good for
my child. Therefore, we have to do what rest in our heart and stick with what is comfortable with the decisions we make while raising our children.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Iris Shamble has been sharing her writings for several years and has contributed to the "International Library of Poetry". She has been a devout Christian for 15 years and is a devoted wife to Darryl Shamble, and mother to two lovely daughters. Iris currently works in the Virginia school system, where she has become an expert on the social and cultural pressures facing children everyday. She has spent the last five years gathering and substantiating information and interviews for "A Christian Mother’s Guide". Iris is also a youth mentor, women’s ministry leader and speaks before woman’s groups.
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