When our beautiful newborn boy was transferred to a regional hospital, my husband and I felt lost at sea. A few hours later, we learned that our baby required immediate surgery at a university hospital 750 miles away. Without it, he would die. That news threw us overboard. We longed for someone who could come alongside and pull us out of the water. A book to chart a map through unfamiliar waters and assure us of God’s presence.

But our son was born in 1982 when pediatric medicine was a relatively new field. Families like ours were hard to find. Parenting books hadn’t been written. The internet didn’t exist. Over the next twenty years, even after the surgeries and medical procedures that corrected our son’s condition were over, my search for parenting resources yielded scant results. Eventually, I sensed God nudging me to come alongside young parents lost at sea like we had been, to create a map they could follow.

Different Dream Parenting: A Practical Guide to Raising a Child with Special Needs is that map. It’s a map for parents of kids living with medical special needs as well as conditions like Down Syndrome, juvenile diabetes, developmental delays, and autism, and those facing a terminal diagnosis. It guides parents by providing tools and resources they need to become effective advocates for their kids.

The book features interviews, advice, and resources from more than fifty families and two dozen professionals. With their help, the book addresses the situations parents face every day. Things I wish someone had told me, like:

• Asking questions after diagnosis.
• Dealing with insurance companies.
• Preparing a child for a hospital stay.
• Accessing financial resources and government monies.
• Accessing special education services.
• Determining optimum level of care.
• Mobilizing volunteers at home.
• Supporting the sibs.
• Preparing a child for death.
• Planning a funeral.
• Participating in community and church events.
• Creating a special needs trust for adult children with special needs.

In addition to practical advice, Different Dream Parenting tackles spiritual questions families are often afraid to ask. Questions about:

• God’s sovereignty
• Parental guilt
• Setting and maintaining spiritual priorities
• Grieving for children living with special needs
• Grieving the death of a child
• Passing faith on to children with special needs

Thirty day prayer guides in the appendices are for parents too exhausted to form their own prayers.

I remember what it’s like to be lost at sea, thrown overboard by an unexpected diagnosis, and drowning under a flood of caregiving demands. My goal is to put Different Dream Parenting into the hands of floundering parents so they have a map and know they’re not alone. To order the book, visit www.DifferentDream.com and click on the “buy the book” tab.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:  Jolene Philo has been a teacher for 25 years and has published numerous articles on parenting a special needs child and preparing children for a hospital stay. She is a regular contributor to a regional monthly women’s magazine, has spoken to MOPS groups, and is a commentator for Iowa Public Radio’s ‘Iowa Voices.’ She and her husband have two children and live in Boone, Iowa.

As a work at home mom, you are always juggling priorities. Sometimes it seems that there’s not enough time in the day to get everything done–but you must. You’ve got to juggle job responsibilities with raising your kids right and you also want to give enough time to your faith. How do you do it? Maybe these tips will help.

1. Put God First
Putting God first doesn’t mean neglecting your other responsibilities. It’s about recognizing the importance of your faith to getting the rest of your life under control. If you attend worship regularly and socialize with other Christians, you’ll be a happier and more balanced person, which will make it easier to manage everything else you need to do. Putting God first is also about making sure that your schedule allows time for faith based activities and letting everyone in your family know that these are fixed in your schedule – everything else has to flow around them, most of the time at least. Once you’ve established that, you can move on the next aspect of getting organized.

2. Set a Family Schedule
Efficient scheduling is the cornerstone of good work-life balance. You can schedule practically everything, though you don’t have to make it all public. Have a family calendar in a prominent place and include time for church, time for work and time for the kids’ extra-curricular activities. You can even include things like a weekly family meeting or movie night. That way, everyone will know what to expect.

You can also keep a private schedule for yourself. Many WAHMs struggle to find time to do the little things that keep family and social life ticking over smoothly - they’re too busy trying to earn enough money to feed the family, manage current bank accounts and pay off your credit cards. On your private schedule you can include items like ‘have a girls’ day with my daughter’, ‘call mom’, ‘treat son to an outing’. That way you’ll be sure not to forget anything.

3. Set Client Expectations
The whole point of working for yourself is being able to set your own hours. In the current always-connected environment, it might seem that the people you work for want 24/7 access to you. Newsflash! Just because that’s what they want, it doesn’t mean that’s what you need to provide. Decide in advance what hours a week you’ll be working and let your clients know. It’s that simple. Many WAHM’s make a full time income working part-time hours. It’s all about those expectations.

4. Set Income Targets
You’ll know better than anyone how much money you need to earn to fund the basics, and how much more you will need for the occasional extra. Add those up, along with money for tax and health insurance and you will know how much you need to earn overall. Once you have that target, you can set about achieving it. It’s always better to know what your goal is and you can plan the steps to get the income you need. And don’t forget about the power of prayer–perhaps yours will be answered with guidance on a new direction for your work at home business or a new client you’ve been trying to land.

5. Remember Why You’re Doing This
We’ve talked about managing work life, your schedule and your faith, but there’s one area we should still look at. The reason why you’re knocking yourself out to do it all is probably your kids. They need your time too, not just for supervising homework, but for cheering them on at activities, playing, listening and teaching them your approach to faith and living a good life. Remember, it never hurts to schedule in some one-on-one time with each of your kids so you can find out what’s really on their mind and help them deal with the issues they face as they grow.

Follow these tips and you will soon achieve the perfect balance of God, work and children–and you’ll be much happier for it.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:  Dee Mason is a freelance writer and a proud mother of two.  She re-located from New York to London quite recently and is now trying to re-adjust her work – life balance again!

The key to success with children is teaching them good values that they can take with them for the rest of their lives. Values that will help them excel more at school and even work later in life. And in today’s fast-paced lifestyle one of the most valuable lessons for them to learn is the value of patience and self-control. Showing your children how to wait for things and not get everything “NOW” can go a long way for teaching them life lessons. A great example of this can be found in Dr. David Schapira’s book, Fetus to Fifth Grade. In the book he recounts an experiment done at Stanford University by psychologist Walter Mischel.

Mischel published a study on children at the preschool on the Stanford University campus. He sat them down with a marshmallow. They were told that the research assistant had to leave for a few minutes (approximately 20 minutes) but if they did not eat the marshmallow during that time they would be rewarded with another marshmallow. Some of the children ate the marshmallow, but some did not and forced themselves to wait by thinking of other distractions, talking to themselves, playing games with their hands or trying to fall asleep. He then followed all of the children for a long period of time afterwards.

When evaluated later as teenagers, those children who resisted eating the marshmallow and exhibited delayed gratification were:
1. Still much better able to wait for rewards
2. Higher achievers and self-assertive and competent
3. Better socially adjusted and emotionally adjusted
4. Got into much less trouble
5. Happier and better able to cope with the frustrations of life
6. Less likely to go to pieces under stress
7. Performed much better academically and scored higher on their SAT exams

Those children who were the quickest to grab the marshmallows (one-third of all the children) scored an average 524 on the verbal section and 528 on the mathematics section of the SAT for a total of 1052. The third of the children who waited the longest scored 610 on the verbal section and 652 on the mathematics section for a total of 1262.

When evaluated later in life, the third of the children who were the quickest to grab the marshmallow were found to:
1. Shy away from social contacts
2. Be stubborn and indecisive
3. Be easily upset by frustrations
4. Think of themselves as  bad or unworthy
5. Prone to jealousy and envy
6. Overreact with a short temper leading to fights

Mischel’s experiment dramatically illustrates the differences in outcome in life for children that have internal structure and have learned how to delay gratification. These important character traits make the difference between having a successful, satisfying life or not.

Additionally, two studies from universities in Pennsylvania show that self-discipline, the ability to self-regulate, are more important than I.Q. or intelligence for early academic success for 3 to 5 years old and for eighth graders.

Psychologist Clancy Blair from Pennsylvania State University studied 3 – 5 year-old preschoolers and discovered that the best predictor of performance in math and reading in kindergarten was the child’s capacity for self-control.

A child’s ability to monitor their thinking and behavior develops rapidly during preschool. Activities at school and at home that decrease impulsiveness and instant gratification and promote attention and awareness of one’s own and other’s thoughts and feelings (empathy) are needed. It is also important to realize that as children get older, self-control is still more important than I.Q.

Psychologists Angela Duckworth at the University of Pennsylvania and Martin Seligman evaluated 300 eighth graders. They gave the students, their teachers and their parents a questionnaire about the student’s ability to control impulses and follow rules.

Use “time-outs” for misbehavior. A “time-out” slows everything down, giving your infant or toddler time to regulate themselves through self-talk before acting on emotion or irrationally. A reasonable period of time is a minute for every year of age. Most importantly, talk to your child after the time out. Discuss what was going on, what the child was feeling and why the misbehavior happened.y also gave the children a questionnaire and behavior test to assess their willingness to delay gratification. Self-control was a stronger predictor of final grades, school attendance and work habits than IQ was.

Also the higher the level of self-control the students exhibited, the better the outcomes. Following are some tips to help teach your children more self-control: Activities for preschoolers that promote self-control involve taking turns, paying attention for sustained periods of time and giving incentives for thoughtful responses.

The more you talk to your child the sooner he will learn to talk and the more extensive his vocabulary will be. Boys lag behind girls in verbal skills and self-talking, which is important for impulse control. Problems with self-control, impulsive behavior and attention deficit are much more common in boys.

You can see how easy it can be to teach your children how to excel.

For additional assistance, check out Fetus to Fifth Grade for all your pregnancy and parenting advice needs.

About the author: Fetus to Fifth Grade  takes you from pregnancy to those critical first few years. The author, Dr. Schapira, is an internationally recognized physician and researcher and has been featured in the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, USA Today, CNN, NBC Nightly News and The Today Show.

Finding a good nanny is no easy task. When you invite someone into your home to watch your children while you’re gone you have to have a strong trust that the person is going to spend their time doing the right thing and not teaching your children things that don’t jive with your own morals and standards, and that they’ll be honest and respectful of your home and family in your absence. It’s a rather large responsibility, placing an individual in your home like that. So how do you determine who makes the cut and who doesn’t?

1.      Define your parameters
Before you even start looking for a nanny you have to determine what it is you want out of hiring one. Do you want someone who is going to watch your kids and clean the house? Do you want to provide strict instructions for them or let them do their own thing? Do you want them to take on tasks that fall outside the regular nanny duties? Defining what you want will help you choose someone who fits well into your household.

2.      Ask around
See if anyone you know has good recommendations for someone to help you out or if they know of any places that you can check out. Since you’re asking trusted sources you should be able to get honest feedback on how someone was in their home or how a particular job board or staffing agency worked out for them, which will help you begin the process of selecting someone.

3.      Do your homework
While it may seem like it’s one of those nagging tasks, taking the time to get a background check on the person is well worth it. So is calling up their references and getting their opinions on how the nanny is as a professional. You want to make sure that you’re letting someone in your home that comes highly recommended, not someone who has a history of theft or low morals.

4.      Ask about their disciplinary actions
When you’re interviewing potential candidates, ask how they go about disciplining children without telling them your own thoughts about it (otherwise they could tailor their answer to fit your own beliefs, and it’d be better to get a raw, honest answer). Making sure you see eye to eye on that is of the utmost importance.

5.      Get their certifications
Having certifications to deal with emergency situations (such as first aid certifications) is a great asset for your potential nanny to possess and can leave you assured that your child will be in good hands even if an emergency may happen to arise. Knowing that they took the time to get certified can also attest to the fact that they take their job seriously.

Hiring a nanny is a very individualized experience. Take the time to thoroughly check people out so that when you leave home you can rest easy knowing that your children are in good hands.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Nancy Parker was a professional nanny and she loves to write about wide range of subjects like health, parenting, child care, babysitting, nanny background check tips etc. You can reach her at nancy.parker015@gmail.com.

I had a phone interview with a woman who was writing an article on my story of living with a chronic illness and beginning a Christian ministry out of my experience. I was honored, excited, and. . . I got my calendar mixed up.

My 8-year-old son was out of school that day. So fifteen minutes before the interview I told him how important it was for mommy to do this. That he was allowed to play video games the entire time. (I know, I admit I am a mother that occasionally uses bribery.)I got him snacks, milk, an extra cup of milk in the fridge, and locked the high lock on the front door so he couldn’t escape–at least not without me hearing him move a stool over to reach it.

I was in my home office on the phone chatting away. I even shared a little bit about the challenges of being a chronically ill mom with the interviewer. We are colleagues in our organizations but she isn’t a believer. We have talked about it in the past and have a very open relationship in discussing faith and chronic illnesses.

She says she is still exploring. I hear the office door open and my son appears before me. I signal with my finger, “just a minute” but he says, “Mom. . . Mom! . . . MOM!”

“I’m sorry, just a minute,” I tell the interviewer. “What is it?” I whisper to my son.

“I have an important question,” he says.

“Okay,” I smile politely, but inwardly I am thinking How important can it really be? I don’t see any blood.

“Did God come before dinosaurs or did dinosaurs come first?”

“Uh. . .” I stammer. This is an important question! This is one of those questions I had planned on answering with confidence and scientific proof and while looking at big books with pictures and time-lines and websites and . . .

“Mom?”

“God. God definitely came first!” I blurt out.

“There is a really cool museum we can go to to explain it all called the creation museum,” I reply.

“Okay,” he nods and before I can say anything else he is gone. The woman on the other end of the phone starts laughing.

“Wow!” she says.

“Yep,” I say, “And that is what being a mom is all about. That was a big one.”

“It’s a very important question,” she says.

“Yes, it is,” I reply.

When I finish up the phone call I come back to the living room where my son is watching “Dino Dan” on T.V. Ah, hence the dinosaurs. “Do you want to talk about the dinosaurs some more?” I ask enthusiastically.

“Nope. I’m good,” he says.

For now, I have answered the question. He didn’t want a science project or a time-line. He just wanted a one-sentence answer.

Little does he know his question is one that millions of people still ask themselves through their lifetimes. “Did God come before dinosaurs or did dinosaurs come first?”

And as a mom I want to know, did Cain and Abel ever beg their dad, Adam, for a pet Massospondylus and promise their mom, Eve, they would take on the duties of pooper scooper and filling the water bowl? When you are a mom you never know when those big questions will come from your children.

2 Timothy 4:2 tells us to be prepared to give an answer “in season and out of season.” The mom translation of that is “when you have time to answer and it is convenient and when you are busy doing something else.”

The most important questions will likely come when we have our hands covered in raw meatloaf, while we are trying to talk to the insurance company about a bill and just got through after being on hold 17 minutes, or when we are in the middle of a radio interview–live! Will you be ready?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Lisa Copen is an author, speaker, and the founder of Rest Ministries which serves the chronically ill. She lives in San Diego with her husband and 8-year-old son. She is currently writing a book for Christian moms who live with chronic illness. If you are interested in sharing your stories, feedbck and confessions for the book, visit her Facebook page at http://MomWithIllness.com.

Every parent has a moment when they look at their child and wonder, why is he doing that? But child behavior isn’t such a mystery. After all, how many times have you explained your child’s latest outburst or action and the other parent says, “Oh yeah, Johnny used to do that too.”

Child behavior is governed by a combination or interaction between three things:

1) Temperament – This is why two kids in the same family can come out so different. Kids are born with their own temperament, sometimes referred to as “personality”. My son was a very easy going baby (except when he had colic) and child. He’s a relaxed and easy going teen. My daughter was fussy and needy. She has low frustration tolerance and difficulty with change. They are both great, smart, wonderful kids, but they perceive and react differently to the world based on their temperament.

A difficult temperament is often down-played by doctors when you ask for help, but there are some good books that can give you support. You can’t give up on kids with difficult temperaments. They take more work and need to be parented differently, but it’s worth it.  When my daughter was 4 years old and having yet another outburst, I worried about what her teenage years would be like. Today she’s 13 and she’s easier than ever to parent. She still has a low frustration tolerance and difficulty with change, but she rarely has outbursts and is a talented, sweet young woman.

2) Development – Child development in the western world is fairly predictable. For example, you already know that 2 year olds are a challenge. But so are 4 year olds (whiny and bossy), 6 year olds (impulsive) and of course teenagers. Further, we need our children to pass through these “stages” as it’s crucial to their development. A two year old that doesn’t explore isn’t doing what he needs to do to grow. The trick is to give kids the support and space they need to grow and still keep them safe.

It can be difficult for parents because the most challenging phases of development occur as children differentiate themselves from parents (2 years and teens in particular). But if you know that it’s normal for toddlers to experiment and explore, you can give them tools to do that, while keeping the keys away from the electric socket. Or what about six year olds who are impulsive and sometimes take things that aren’t theirs because they’re ability to think before they act isn’t developed. If you know this, you’ll still intervene and set limits, but you won’t freak out and worry that you’re raising a bank robber. The other common worry I hear about is 4 to 6 year olds who play doctor. This is completely normal, but you still need to talk to kids about their bodies in terms of their personal safety and respecting the bodies of other people.

3) Environment – This is where parents and other external factors come into play. Temperament and development play key roles, but environment is the most crucial role. Kids who don’t get proper nurturing as infants will develop a fear or distrust of the world, which will impact their future development. Children need love and support, safety and security, guidance and firm recognizable limits, and discipline that TEACHES, not just punishes. All this comes from environment.

About the Author: Leslie Truex is a former parent education and adoption social worker, who now works from home so she can parent her children full time. She’s the author of “The Work-At-Home Success Bible: A Complete Guide for Moms” and provides stay/work-at-home mom advice on saving money, working at home, and parenting at http://www.momsathomesuccess.com.

Each week, is it a juggling act of sports and activities and carpools and meetings and church events?  Do you fly past each other as you rush out the door?  Are the treads on your tires and your tennis shoes wearing thin?

You are racing to finish homework, fold laundry, declutter the clutter, cook dinner, answer email, walk the dog and take care of the lawn

Can you relate to this madness?

Sisters, why do we do this?  Why do we pack so much into our days… into our lives… that we fly by the seat of our pants?  We find we’re racing from one thing to the next and are weary and frazzled when it’s all said and done.

But you know what, we justify the crazy schedules.   Tell me if you’ve ever said this:

* I just want my kids to have rich, full lives and experience so many different things.
* It’s not like I’m busy with bad things.  I’m busy doing Kingdom-building things!
* Once summer comes, things will be different.
* I like being busy because then I don’t have to deal with the real issues.
* Everyone needs me, so what other choice do I have

We rationalize our busyness

Ephesians 2:10 says: For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

This verse tells us we are created to work.  We aren’t designed to sit around and eat bon-bons (however sometimes that just sounds divine!).  Before the creation of the world, God knew exactly what He wanted us to focus our time and energy on.

My question is this.  Are we doing that?  Are we working the plan that God developed for us?  Or… are we focusing on the wrong things?

Here’s how you know.  Before you take on a project or a volunteer opportunity or another Bible study… do you pray to God, asking Him if that is His plan for you?

A few months ago, I was feeling very overwhelmed with my calendar.  When I sat down to look at it, I realized it was all good stuff.  None of it was a waste of time. 

But was it what He wanted me to be doing?

I began to lift up each thing on my calendar asking God if He wanted it to stay or go.  Some things were wholeheartedly approved.  Others had to be dropped. 

And you know what?  It was a freeing experience!

What I found was that those things that stayed were more fulfilling.  I had more time to pour into them.  I felt more focused and centered.

While this is a good practice for us… It’s a vital skill to pass on to our kids.   You see…

* If we model a chaotic life, they will see that as normal. 
* If we go 90 miles an hour, they will become adrenaline junkies.
* If we pack every second of every day with activity, they will lose the ability to entertain themselves.

Your homework assignment:  Sit down as a family with your calendar and pray together for guidance on what stays and what goes.  Explain to them that while God did create us to work and have fun, He didn’t tell us to max out our days… and our lives.  Talk to them about the importance of staying in God’s will and how He blesses us for doing so.

Remember, friends, that we must be intentional parents.  We need to remember that while our kids are young, we get to set the standard that will hopefully follow them as they get older. 

Teach your kids to guard against busyness.  It’s a rat race that leads to a dead-end.  And along the way, we lose touch with God and His will for our lives.

Remember the saying: “If the devil can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy!” Let’s agree to model for our kids the importance of seeking God’s desire for our lives…

…including our calendars.

Carey Scott is an inspiration speaker and writer honest about her walk with the Lord stumbles, fumbles and all.  Her passion is to challenge women to be real with themselves, others and God.  You can learn more about her at www.careyscotttalks.com or subscribe and follow her blog Let’s Get Real.  Carey lives in Colorado with her husband and two young kids.

Everyday some teen, famed or unfamiliar, makes the headlines…and the picture is usually not pretty. Adolescents today live in a more dangerous, sexualized, oppressive, and media-saturated world. They face more pressures and are coerced into starving themselves, undergoing unnecessary plastic surgery procedures, hooking up, and using substances. Research shows that celebrity obsession is also having far-reaching psychological effects.

As an adolescent I believed the destructive messages the pop culture presented to the millions who become captivated with their lives: binge drinking is okay, sexting makes you cool, an eating disorder and cosmetic surgery are the answers to perfect beauty, marriage doesn’t have to be forever. All I got was a life full of torture, shame, and fear.  Why was it so easy for me to fall to temptation and make the wrong choices? That is a question that plagues most people who live with or work with an adolescent.

Every parent can confirm: the teenage brain is a very complicated and not easily understood. While it’s true that dynamics like peer pressure and raging hormones are all factors that contribute to bad decision-making during adolescence, research provides another logical explanation for the often illogical choices our teens make.

Dr. Frances Jensen, a neurologist at Harvard Medical School and Children’s Hospital Boston, has a sobering message for us: smart kids do dumb things. It’s the teen brain paradox. Quick to learn and able to reach fluency in abstract thought, teens still make stupid decisions. That’s because they’re operating with brains that are a work in progress. Using high-powered MRI technology, scientists have demonstrated that the adolescent brain, while fully grown in size, is not fully developed.

Of all the organs in our bodies, the brain takes the longest to develop. The frontal lobes are the last pieces to be fully connected to the parts of the brain that sense danger or solve calculus problems. The frontal lobe governs decision-making, problem solving and planning and is not completed in the teen years. This explains their impulsiveness and unpredictable behavior, despite the fact they are getting high SAT scores and can memorize at a more impressive rate than we adults.

Part of what is still under development is the ability to assess emotions. They see anger or hostility when it doesn’t exist. They mistake fear or concern for anger or irritation. A growing body of neuroscientific research places full brain maturity at about age twenty-five, way past the point when a young person starts to drive, drink, babysit, vote, work, or go off to war. The very qualities that make learning easier in youth also make habits like smoking or drinking more deeply embedded.

Research suggests drinking alcohol during these years may damage vulnerable areas in the brain responsible for memory and learning. Neuroscientists believe drinking and drugs act potently on the teenage brain because addiction itself is a form of learning that banks on better memory formation. “Teenagers get more robustly addicted and for a longer time. Things like pot have a longer effect on these teen brains because they have more machinery for those molecules to be connected,” Dr. Jensen said.

When Dr. Jensen speaks to high school students, she gets their attention when she tells them the marijuana they smoked over the weekend will still impair them on a test they take the following Thursday. She firmly believes in appealing to the intellectual side of her young audiences, so she presents annotated slides and cross-sectional views of the brain, just as she would for a scientific meeting. I too believe once a teen understands this, the information can be used to build their self-esteem and self-worth. They can think, I made a bad choice—not because I’m stupid or a loser, but because biologically I wasn’t able to choose the best option.

Julie Fenn, a health teacher and the prevention specialist for the Lexington, Massachusetts public schools, cites national surveys of youth risk behavior showing that parents are the biggest influence on the decisions young people make. She said, “I really want parents to understand they are all good kids. It’s not about being good or bad. It’s about recognizing what the limitations are and looking at the physiological piece in terms of brain development and knowing that they are going to have to supervise and monitor kids and instill their values.”

Many Christian parents have instilled godly values and disciplines in their children. Some have not. Proverbs 22:6 instructs parents, “Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he [she] is old he [she] will not depart from it.” Whether a leader who has invested a great deal of time in a particular teen, or a parent, don’t beat yourself up and wonder where you went wrong. Remember adults are not on a level playing field. As pastoral leaders we need to exercise patience and understanding. We hang on to the promise that when he [or she] is “old”—and his [or her] brain has matured—he [or she] will get back steadily onto the God path (lots of prayer helps too).

Clearly the adolescent brain is not capable of making mature decisions with respect to risky behavior. Drugs and alcohol, imitating reckless celebrity behavior, and hooking up, just impair judgment even more, making them more prone to risk-taking. You may not be popular, but it is important to insist on a drug and alcohol-free standard and abstinence for teens. Scripture says, “We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts” (1 Thessalonians 2:4-5). It is crucial that a teenager identifies with Jesus and learns to surrender to his dynamic, life-transforming presence.

For a large percentage of women, the time when they gain the most weight is when they are pregnant. More than 25% of
women gain more than 40 pounds during pregnancy. Typically, 18 to 20 pounds are due to the baby and pregnancy changes, so the rest of the weight gain (20+ pounds) will stay on your body after childbirth.

The Institute of Medicine now recommends the following guidelines for pregnancy weight gain, depending on body type, with the average being 30.5 pounds for women in the U.S:

Underweight Women 28-40 pounds
Normal Weight Women 25-35 pounds
Overweight Women 15-25 pounds
Obese Women 11-20 pounds

As you can see, it’s imperative to watch what you eat. Here are some tips we think you will find beneficial for eating right, not only to keep your weight within reason, but also to help with pregnancy challenges:

• Cut down on eating out in restaurants and fast food restaurants. The expense is high as is the calorie, fat and salt content. The typical American household spends $2,668 a year in eating out. Make sandwich, soups and salads at home.
• Learn how to cook some simple dishes. Over the next five years you will save thousands of dollars and avoid a large amount of weight gain for you and your child. Use low calorie salad dressings.
• Avoid fried foods. The high amount of fat not only adds to weight gain, but fat slows the emptying of the stomach and therefore worsens gastric reflux that causes heart burn.
• Drink low fat milk– 2% or preferably 1%. Actually, 2% milk is 37% calories from fat and 1% is 18% calories from fat. One of many examples of deceptive food labeling.
• Avoid nuts, they are high in calories and fat. A handful of peanuts (3.5 ounces) contains over 600 calories and a day’s fat requirement for a woman.
• Get vitamins from food sources as well as a supplement. If you are underweight, a study suggests you might consider taking a vitamin supplement that contains 25 mgm of zinc, which tends to increase the weight of babies.
• Avoid fish that is high in mercury. The danger is that methyl mercury can affect the central nervous system in the fetus. Fishes that are high in mercury are swordfish, shark, king mackerel and tile fish.
• For constipation, increase the fiber in your diet. Fiber One cereal has the highest fiber. Also drink plenty of water and exercise.
• For nausea, eat carbohydrate rich foods that are easy to digest such as crackers, cereal, pretzels or rice cakes. Fatty foods delay stomach emptying and will worsen nausea and vomiting. Cold foods are also tolerated better than hot foods. Remember iron pills can cause nausea and constipation.
• Eat slowly so the hormones released from your intestine have time to signal your brain that you are getting full.
• Don’t make the mistake of classifying carrot cake as a vegetable.
• When you go to the buffet don’t get a huge amount of food so you have to eat it with a knife and a forklift.

You can see how easy it can be to eat right once you have the right tips. Pregnancy is not the time to let yourself go, but rather the time to really watch your health. For additional tips on having a healthy pregnancy, look for great books on the topic such as Fetus to Fifth Grade.

Lumps. They’re everywhere. We hear about them at the doctor’s office, see them in our gravy, and toss and turn to avoid the ones in our mattresses. They sneak into our socks (I detest sock lumps), invade our pillows and make our mashed potatoes look rugged. Lumps come in all sizes and appear in a plethora of places.

But how about you? Are you a lump? At the end of the day, do you find yourself plopping yourself down in front of the TV (or the computer or a novel), only slightly aware of the goings on around you? Consider the following scenario:

Child (coming in from school): Mom, can I have a snack?

Mom (seated on the couch, engrossed in reading):  Mmm. Sure.

Child: Did you know there’s mold on this bread?

Mom (still engrossed): That’s nice.

Child (testing to see if Mom’s really listening): I failed my history test.

Mom (barely audible): Good for you.

The eye contact is nonexistent. The interaction is stale at best (much like the bread).  One thing, however, was communicated: What I’m doing right now is more important than you.

Lumps are seldom (if ever?) a good thing. We pound out those lumps in the mattress, we attempt to beat the lumps out of the gravy, and doctors remove certain lumps from our bodies. And…lumpy living is no way to live at all. I, too, am afflicted with this ailment. To deal with our lumpiness, two main questions should be answered.

First, “What is the cause of the lump?” While we could compile an impressive list of possible culprits, the key catalyst is ME, MYSELF, I. Selfishness is the key to lumpiness. We must be increasingly conscious of the ways pride (or selfishness) manifests itself in our lives, or it will become a festering cancer in our homes.

Once we identify the cause, it’s time to start implementing a cure by asking “How can I get rid of the lump?” In some cases, extreme intervention may be necessary. Cut out the activities or indulgences that lead down pride’s corridor. Maybe you and your family want to take on the challenge of a “media free” day or week (no computer, iPod, TV, etc. for that time). In other cases, a gradual approach may be the best treatment. We must expose ourselves daily to the radiation of Scripture and commit our time to the Lord (minute by minute if we have to).  It could be time to mandate a schedule change that will help direct the amount of time we surrender to the computer or the television. Let’s do whatever it takes, whether gradual or extreme or some of both, to pound out the lumpy spots in our days.

Simply put, do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves (Philippians 2:3)… Those are the Doctor’s orders.

Joy Jochems has been in ministry literally her whole life. While Joy is actively involved with her local church as youth ministry coordinator and lends a hand at CWAHM as devotional coordinator and guest contributor, she recognizes that her primary ministry is in her home, to her children. You can contact Joy at joy@cwahm.com.

As Christian work at home moms, we want our homes to reflect the Lord. Our children spend the majority of their time at home and we want their minds set on “on things above, not on earthly things,” (Colossians 3:2), right? My grandmother, a CWAHM herself, provided an example for me. The walls of her warm cozy kitchen were covered with Bible verses written on pieces of cardboard. These came to be affectionately known as Granny’s “pantyhose” Scriptures, since her cardboard came out of her hosiery packages. In addition, volumes of spiral notebooks stored her journals and thoughts which she often shared with her grandchildren.Granny certainly knew the meaning of the command:

“Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”(Deuteronomy 6:5-9)

Once I had children of my own, a desire grew within me to pass on my grandmother’s legacy. If Granny could write the Scriptures on the “door frames” of her house, so could I. But how? I didn’t want to tack up cardboard scraps all over my walls. Over thirty-five years of motherhood and encouraging other young mothers I have discovered many ways to use things at hand to teach biblical truths and to write them on our doorframes. Here are some examples:
Most of the pictures on our walls have scripture or some biblical illustration. A boy who lived with us for many years called as an adult asking if “Christ is still the unseen guest in our house?” based on a plaque on our wall.

• Cyndy, a mother of three girls ages one to eight, literally puts scripture plaques above her doorframes in her home. She paints Scriptures on the wall of her childrens’ rooms, makes scripture necklaces, and tucks memory verses into her daughters’ pockets.
• Younger children enjoy drawing, painting, and cutting out pictures. A child can make his own posters with Scriptures verses and illustrations.
• Butcher paper works great for “writing on the wall.” Read the story of Daniel and King Belshazzar and encourage your child to write her own message about God’s Word.
• Marie tacks Bible story illustrations and pictures of people to pray for on the ceiling and the top bunk of her preschoolers’ double-decker bed.
• Before my children could read or write we made “prayer posters” of pictures of people and things they wanted to include in their prayers. We also put together “picture journals” in which they drew pictures of things that happened during their day.
• As our children learned to read, we left Scriptures and notes of encouragement on their mirrors, in school books and in lunchboxes. A few times, I even wrote messages with lipstick on their mirrors.
• Don’t stick Sunday school papers in a drawer, display them or use them for family devotions during the week.
• God has revealed himself on the “doorframes” of creation. “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands” (Psalm 19:1). Bring evidence of His work into your home with fresh flowers, autumn leaves, and displays of fruits and vegetables.

So as we work at home, let’s surround ourselves with things that remind us of Christ. Jesus added one element to the commandment written in Deuteronomy when He said to love the Lord with all your mind as well as your heart, soul, and strength (Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27). By filling a child’s mind and surrounding him with the things of God, we stand a better chance of reaching his heart for Christ.

Adapted from As You Walk Along the Way by Carla Williams.

Carla Williams, writer, speaker, and mentor has writing credits in curriculum, devotions, articles, and books. She and her husband have been in ministry for over thirty years. Carla now enjoys working closely with her family in the Christian publishing industry. Her website can be found at www.thespiritualmom.com.

November is National Adoption month.  My wife and I became parents through the process of adoption 24 and 21 years ago.  So, we know the expectations and disappointments; the laughter and the tears.  We have weathered the kind and sometimes misinformed comments by others. We understand the home studies, the legal maze and finally the unspeakable joy of taking a child into our arms as a wonderful gift from God.  And we know well the assuring message of the Lord from Psalm 127:3  “Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.” One of the beautiful truths that we understand is that God places children in the home of His choosing.  All along, He had a plan for our children to be in our home; they just came into the world through a different birth canal.  And not only do we understand this but our children do too.  It has always been a source of blessing to see how secure our children are in knowing that we love them and that we are their parents.

As I have thought through the difficult process of adoption and the resulting joy, it has always taken me to the Scriptures that teach us about how we were adopted into God’s family, and the security that He offers us.

Romans 8:14-16 says:

“ For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.  The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba,  Father.”  The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.”

(Please go to http://www.biblebb.com/files/mac/sg45-59.htm for an excellent study on Biblical Adoption )

Here are some truths that help us understand our security in Christ that comes through adoption:

• If we are following the leading of the Holy Spirit (2nd Person of the God-Head), that is evidence in our lives that the Holy Spirit is in us and we have been adopted by God.  He only indwells the lives of God’s adopted Children.  (All of God’s children are adopted)
• The Holy Spirit, who lives in us, affirms our freedom in Christ. He does not enslave, but he affirms that we are no longer condemned (Rom 8:1).  We are now a free child of God, rather than a bound, enslaved, condemned child of Satan.  We are no longer condemned , but have perfect peace because we have been adopted into God’s family.  We are now able and free to live a life that pleases our Heavenly Father
• The Holy Spirit supernaturally made our adoption happen. The Father initiated it, and the Holy Spirit carried it out through the process of redemption.  The price:  the blood of Christ, God’s Son.  The motive:  Love.  The result:  A new relationship with God the Father, Son and Spirit.
• The Holy Spirit gives us an adoption of full “sonship”.  We are fully, legally affirmed in God’s eternal family.  Like the Romans, this means we no longer have ties to our old family, the past has been forgotten and forgiven, and we have gained all the rights and privileges God offers His children (see Ephesians 1).  As a “son”, we receive a new name, all of our debts are canceled out, and we became an heir of our new Father, and a joint heir with Jesus Christ.
• The Holy Spirit gives us a close relationship with our new Father.  In fact, the Aramaic word “Abba” means “Daddy”.  We can call out to our “Daddy” and approach Him with any need or concern any time we wish. And we know He will lovingly care for us and always do what is best for us.
• The Holy Spirit keeps telling us that we belong to God.  He keeps communicating to our spirit that we are His privileged children, at peace with God, and will be with Him forever.

Our children have expressed their gratitude to us for adopting them.  And they are secure, knowing that we love them.  Of course, we have had the greatest joy.  They now realize that they would not have had the relationships and quality of life they have enjoyed  if they would not have been adopted by us.  In the same way I am grateful to my heavenly Father for adopting me.  I enjoy the freedom, privileges, protection, provision, hope, and the joy of my relationship with the Father.  Thanks so much Daddy.

About the Author:
Steve Hicks was born and grew up in Omaha, NE.  He and his wife, Paula, met in college and have been married for 33 years.  Steve and Paula  have two children ; Andrea and Josh, and son-in-law, Bryan.  Olivia is their beautiful granddaughter.   Steve received a Bachelor of Arts degree from Faith Baptist Bible College, (major in Bible and Theology and Minor in Christian Education) and his Master of Divinity from Grace Theological Seminary; Winona Lake, IN.   He has a varied background in sales, financial services, and ministry.  Steve is the Discipleship Pastor at LifeSpring Church in Bellevue, NE.  He enjoys hunting, fishing, and Husker football.

By Nicola Kennedy

Of all the things our teachers teach our children, they do not often touch on the idea of Labor Day history for kids. How much do our children know about this important holiday? If anything, they only know that it is a holiday for workers, but that is the extent of it in most cases.

The designation of Labor Day as a national holiday prior to the turn of the 20th century is historical enough for our children to know about the history of the holiday, and not just that it is a holiday for working class Americans and Canadians. It is an important part of their heritage as Americans to know that the celebration began in 1882 in New York for those working under labor unions. From its conception in 1882 to its later designation into a national holiday in a bill signed by President Grover Cleveland, it has become an important part of our history.

Some confusion may exist concerning the adoption of the first Monday in September as the official Labor Day celebration. Some sources say it’s to differentiate it from the Socialist Labor Day on May 1st, a date that later became May Day, and others indicate that it was chosen because it is halfway between Independence Day and Thanksgiving. Regardless of which version you accept as truth, it is still important to know that Labor Day is not just a holiday to celebrate the unofficial end of summer, nor is its purpose to signify the beginning of autumn and a return to school for our children.

The historical significance lies in the fact that upon its inception, 40 percent of the workforce worked under a labor union, and the holiday was set aside to honor those workers. Currently, about 14 percent of the workforce belongs to a labor union. Although it still holds significance for those older workers and retirees who belong to the labor unions, for most, Labor Day means the unofficial end of summer and a day off from school. Sadly, Labor Day has taken the same road as Memorial Day and is only recognized as important by those who lived in the era that caused its creation.

In future generations, the children will not even know its significance unless we teach them now. Let us not forget the significance of Labor Day and teach our children the struggles their forefathers endured in order to allow the labor force to become one where the average person can earn a decent wage without working 16-20 hours a day six days a week.

About the Author
Nicola always enjoys celebrating Labor Day and the end of summer. Visit her Labor Day site for Labor Day party tips and news, information and views at [http://labor-day.your-holiday.info] All rights reserved. Copyright Your-Holiday.info

by Candi Wingate

Busy moms have a lot in common with circus performers. We have to juggle many balls in the air – and we worry that it’s all going to come crashing down at any moment! Additionally, we strive to perfect our balancing act, some days feeling more surefooted than others. Add some crying babies, toddlers melting down and kids needing help with homework, rides to soccer practice, a Band Aid or a snack, and your life often feels like a three-ring circus!

Many moms are looking for that “perfect” balance between family, chores, work, “me time” and time with their partner and friends. But since there are only 24 hours in a day, how are we supposed to fit it all in?

* Rely on a nanny for help with childcare, shuttling kids to school and other activities, as well as errands and housework. Delegate some responsibilities so you can spend your limited time on things you want to do – like playing with your kids.

* Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Our inclination as mothers is to care for our children, husband, friends and colleagues…which leaves no time to take care of ourselves! Eat right, exercise, get plenty of sleep and drink lots of water. When you feel good, you’ll be better equipped to deal with your hectic schedule. And when you’re not feeling your best, you’re much more likely to feel overwhelmed.

* Say “no” to the less important things. Sure, it would be nice to have a spotless house, be the president of the PTA, bake homemade bread, volunteer at the local hospital, get a raise and promotion at work, and spend time helping in your child’s classroom. But, of course, it’s not realistic to accomplish all of these things. Decide what’s most important and do that. Delegate what you can to a nanny or a spouse. And don’t worry about the rest.

We’re all looking for balance in our lives, which is often challenging to achieve… What are your tips to make it all work?

About the Author:

Candi Wingate, President
Nannies4Hire
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by Candi Wingate

There are many reasons that families have nannies.  Most reasons are something similar to ensuring proper, nurturing supervision of the children while the parents are otherwise occupied.  However, there is another benefit.  Did you know that nannies can help parents be better parents?

Nannies As Stress Relievers

If you delegate your routine household chores (light housekeeping, laundry, washing dishes, grocery shopping, errand running, etc.) to the nanny, then more of the time that you have at home with your children can be quality time (time reserved for interaction with your children).  Additionally, if the nanny’s relieving you of these tasks makes you feel less stress on a day-to-day basis, you will be a more relaxed, patient, nurturing parent.  Finally, there are times when parents simply need more than two hands to accomplish all that needs to be accomplished at any given time in the home (for example, what does a parent do if both of the twins are crying . . . in different rooms . . . and no other adult is at home to help?).  By having a nanny, parents have another set of hands to help them attend to concurrent issues.  In sum, by enabling more time to be spent in quality parent-child interaction, increasing a parent’s ability to be patient and nurturing, and providing an additional set of hands in times where multiple time demands are concurrent, nannies can help you be a better parent.

Media has emphasized this point.  Episodic television programs on this point include  John and Kate Plus Eight.

Nannies As Knowledge Base

Because experienced nannies have raised a larger number of children than most parents ever will, those nannies have dealt with (and learned how to respond to) a wider variety of child-rearing circumstances than most parents.  Consequently, these nannies can be viewed as experts in the field of raising children.

Additionally, many parents seek nannies who know how to perform CPR, the Heimlich maneuver, and other first aid responses.   Many nannies are well versed in nutrition.  Further, many nannies have additional credentials (i.e., a background in early childhood education, a working knowledge of child psychology, etc.).  In sum, there is much to be learned from these nannies.

Media has emphasized this point.  Episodic television programs on this point include  Nanny 911 and Super Nanny.   Movies on theme include  Nanny McPhee (2005) and even The Sound of Music (1965).

Conclusion

Most nannies are selected based on how they can relate to and care for children.  However, let us not overlook how they can help US relate to and care for our children.

About the Author:

Candi Wingate, President
Nannies4Hire
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by Marybeth Elliott

Job 21:11: They send forth their little ones like a flock, and their children dance.

Parenthood is a funny thing.  It is chock full of purpose and meaning, and we are plunged into it from day one.  And yet, God allows the richness and fullness to be revealed over time, much like our relationship with Him.  The longer I walk with the Lord, the deeper the love I find with Him.  The deeper the love goes, the more I realize how little I know of our magnificent Creator.  In my quest to know Him better, I see reflected back, my children’s quest to know their parents better.

Through the years as my own mother has aged, I have found it fascinating to hear stories of her in various situations.  Old college friends have shared with me special memories of their friendship with my mom, antics they participated in, special and fun times.  Conversely, they have shared fascinating and intense stories of coming of age and being married during World War II.

I’ve learned my mom is multi-faceted, much like a beautiful gem.  She was a brilliant and carefree girl, a young woman who was on her college archery team, and an accomplished horsewoman.

Further, although she was a college graduate at twenty years of age, she had a curfew of midnight, and was strictly forbidden to have a radio installed in her car.  This was the norm for many young women in this era.  When her closest friend’s husband was deployed, her friend, although married and running her own home, returned to her parents’ home until her husband came back.  And while this may sound severe or foreign to us, it was a dear and caring love, on the part of the parents, that drove them to be so protective of their children.

My mother recalls a story of her grandfather, who came of age in the mid-eighteen-hundreds.  At that time it was quite common and accepted, for children to eat dinner at a separate table from their parents.  My great grandfather, who wasn’t married at the time, declared if he ever married and had a family, HIS children would sit at the same dinner table as the adults, and he ruffled more than a few feathers by insisting that children should be seen AND heard!  During that time, this was not common.

Our Heavenly Father offers us this same opportunity.  His position is, and remains, that His children are precious.  We are to be seen and heard, and He delights in offering us a seat at His table.  In our quest to grow closer to God, we remember to bring our children along on our journey.  To gather them to us, and engage them, pray with them, and share with them His love, allows them to know us more completely, and to love Him more fully.

Summertime offers us ample opportunities for this very thing.  There are chances everywhere to bring God and His love into our everyday teachings, even when we are on schedules and working.  Most people have laptops, so they can carry work with them.  The outdoors beckons children in the summer (and us too!) and laptops give us the freedom to be on the move, while still accomplishing our assignments.  If we do have to be tied to the home, that is okay, as our kids can be doing other things while we work.  But when it is time to go outdoors, whether morning or afternoon, we can find a multitude of ways to bring God and our children together, and allow our kids the luxury of getting to know us better, on a more carefree timetable.

Love the beach? If so, bring along a couple of sticks and you can play a fun game in the sand with your kids.  Assign them a Bible verse to memorize a few days ahead of your beach trip.  When at the beach,  take your stick and begin writing it in the sand.  Allow each child the chance to continue adding to the verse, until all kids have had a chance, and the verse is complete.  This encourages cooperation and the kids working together to help one another.  You can make it a race, too if each child has a different (but comparable) verse.  If desired, bury a prize for each in the sand for them to find.
A great chance for exercise and fun, is having a child jump rope, hop, or jump in the water, the number of times that corresponds with a verse they’re memorizing.  For example, John 3:16.  An older child could jump rope, hop, etc. 316 times while reciting the verse.  (They can stop during it for a break!)  Of course some verses have much lower numbers, to include the younger children as well.  A cool slice of watermelon or a bowl of fresh fruit and yogurt wraps this fun up nicely.

How about rounding up the crew and bringing a huge picnic, frisbees, the works,  to the park or nearby lake or swimming hole?  Invite friends and make a day of it.  Bringing enough small treats, such as freeze pops, to offer to passersby is a great chance to reach out to others, teach your children the joy of giving, and provides hours of fun and fresh air.

Make up a game of twenty questions with your kids.  Allow them to ask you, and each other, questions to get to know one another better.  Even though you’re family and know each other basically well, this affords the chance to talk together, dream with each other, and enjoy each other.  It allows your children the chance to get to know you!  What were you like when you were a kid, what were your dreams, when did you come to know the Lord, what are your goals now, have your dreams changed over time?  What dreams have been fulfilled, what do you hope for your children, how do you pray?  Ask them to tell you how they think God sees our goals, hopes and dreams.  Are they important to God?  Does He really listen to every prayer, every whispered hope, and every word of thanks and gratitude?  When children come to know you better, in turn they come to know their Lord better.

Blindfolded Game, so you can really SEE.  Take turns being blindfolded, and touch each other’s faces, listen closely to the sound of each other’s voices, and listen to each other’s hearts.  Have each person say something meaningful to the one blindfolded.  Something that expresses their love, gratitude, appreciation, admiration.  Allow just a moment for the meaning to sink into their hearts, and find a home there.  Our senses are heightened when compensating for one sense (in this case the eyes), and hearing the love in another’s voice is a great way to validate and affirm a person.  Teach your children after this game, how Jesus sees us.  He sees us as we are, not with human eyes, but with a heart full of love.  The lesson can be basic and simple, but it carries lasting meaning.

Play a game of Man Hunt.  (Hide and seek in the dark with flashlights.)  If you have an outdoor fire pit, or something similar, afterward you can roast marshmallows and laugh about how hard it was to find each other in the dark.  A great lesson is how, during the game, you all had parameters of how far you could go to hide, and it was STILL difficult.  Imagine how much harder it is for people to find God if we don’t share His love with them?  It is like they are in the dark, and are looking for God everywhere they go, and yet they don’t know how to find Him.

Sing and play with your children.  Let them hear you sing off-key, perhaps!  Tell them about the time(s) you’ve burned the cookies!  Or what about the time you backed your car into a pole?  Remember when you threw a rock through the neighbor’s window?  Tell them the wonderful things too.  How about the time you rescued a kitten, or helped a child who had fallen.

One of the greatest tools I’ve found in relating to our children is sharing with them what I did, as a kid.  Mistakes I made, blunders and errors, and things I did right.  Like the time I was proud of making myself eat coleslaw, even though my mom wasn’t around and I could have “gotten away with it.”  It was the first time I remember doing something solely because I felt it was the right thing to do.  No reward, no prize, no accolades.  Just me and God.  My kids have related well to the understanding that I am fallible, I make mistakes alot of the time (!) and I am forgiven by God when I tell him I’m sorry, and the slate is wiped clean.  Each day is a new day, and we move on.

Even though we still have to work in the summer, the more relaxed schedule for our children gives us snatches of time, and teachable moments, that teach US as much as them.  In our quest to know our Creator more fully, we can allow our children the same privilege.  We are the gatekeepers for our children, and it is up to us to swing the gate open to invite our children in to their Heavenly Father’s table.  If we are creative with our time, and offer them opportunities for growth and closeness with us, we will be modeling for them a relationship with God that includes growth and closeness.  If we allow our children to know us, they will understand that we are human, with all of the strengths, weaknesses, accomplishments and mistakes that go along with being human.  This will allow them the important and potentially life-altering viewpoint that they can come to us with anything, at any time.  They will not be harshly judged, but will be cared for and helped, in their time of need.  All because of a Love called Jesus, and an ability to sing off-key.

Marybeth Elliott is an author of two books, with two more in the series to go, a stay-at-home-mom to three sons, and wife of 23 years.  Her sons, Mark, Daniel and David, are 21, 15 and 12.  Her primary goal is raising her sons, and spending time with her family.  Marybeth is a voice and a strong advocate for abuse survivors.  Her youngest son, David is a survivor of an offender in the area.  David has chosen to write a children’s book (David’s Sword) to encourage other children it IS safe to tell.  David uses his real name and his real picture-a first for a children’s book.  Endorsed by Chip Ingram, a detective, a doctor, counselor, pastor and others, this book has been a tremendous tool for encouraging children they can be set free.  The second book in the series is David’s Shield.  This is written for the siblings of survivors, as they too, deal with a myriad of challenges.  Written from Dan and Mark’s perspective, this is a first of its kind.  Endorsed by award-winning singer/songwriter Natalie Grant, New England Patriots former Linebacker/Coach/Chaplain Don Davis, school principal and others, this book has the potential to help multiple millions of siblings.  Please visit www.davidssword.com to read an article, listen to a radio interview or two, and perhaps say a prayer for all victims of abuse.  Marybeth can be contacted at david@davidssword.com for interest in the books, speaking engagements, and to offer a word of encouragement and prayer for anyone who may wish.

by Laurie Neumann

Having integrity in business doesn’t seem to be as important as it used to.  Today, there are many people afraid to do business with others because they don’t know who they can trust.

Maybe it has to do with the growth of the internet or a society that has gotten away from Christian principles.  Whatever the reason, having integrity in the way you conduct your business will set you apart.   It will help others see they can trust you and will bring them back to you over and over again.

What is integrity? Integrity brings to mind the concepts of honesty, reliability, dependability, following through on commitments and displaying high character at all times.  The Bible references integrity in the following verses.  ”He who walks with integrity walks securely…” Proverbs 10:9; “The integrity of the upright will guide them…” Proverbs 11:3; “But as for me, I will walk in my integrity… Psalm 26: 11

Your kids need to see you displaying integrity in all you do, and they will grow up to do the same.  When they hear you talking on the phone to a disgruntled customer, are you setting a good example?  When you have to wait in a long line at the grocery store,  do you grumble and complain?  That time can be used to talk with your kids about how their day is going.  What about on those days when everything seems to go wrong with your business and life?  How do you react?  Children learn so much from watching how their parents handle life situations, so make sure you are teaching them to act and react according to God’s principles.  I believe Deuteronomy 6:7 spells it out.  We are to teach our kids and be examples to them at all times.  ”You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.”   Even though this verse doesn’t include dealing with customers or when we are at the grocery store, I think we can make the application:-)

Running a business gives you another outlet to act with integrity and honor God in doing so.  Will you take the challenge?

Laurie Neumann. Looking for more insight into running your business in a way that honors God? Grab Laurie’s eBook, “Run Your Business God’s Way” at Christian Business Ethics

by Ruth Martin

Does your professionalism ebb and flow with the changing seasons? Find it harder to keep that crisp edge during summer break with a house full of energetic kids (plus an added playmate or two) or with preschoolers 24/7 year round? I’m here to tell you that regardless of the time of year it IS possible. What’s the secret? A bit of pre-planning.

Pre-planning from snacks prepared ahead in the right grab-n-go size, to having a supply of rainy day projects in a special box – pulled out for those moments you need to really focus for 20 minutes of uninterrupted bliss, to covering the desktop in shaving cream for a little lime scented fingerpainting. Taking the time to line up some activities can be such a stress reducer and an empowerment tool that enables you to do what you do best without worries. No one knows your child and his attention span like you do so plan accordingly (and individually).

One of the biggest stealers of professionalism surrounds phone calls with child noises in the background so let’s review some solutions:

Pre-planned phone time: Most teleseminars are 60 minutes with phone consults being 30-60 minutes and isn’t it perfect that children’s videos come in those same time frames. There’s no guilt in allowing your child to enjoy his favorite movie for this snippet of time while you teach a seminar or participate in one. Remember to keep the sound down or better yet use the tv in the adjoining room. Rather not do the video thing? The art/craft box, Play Doh, Legos, and books are equally quiet alternatives. If your child still takes a nap try to schedule calls around sleep times.

Remind the youngsters that when they see Mom on the phone or with the headsets on it’s time to use their quiet inside voice and wait to ask questions or to show you something. Kids are very visual so go ahead and set the kitchen timer for the call’s length. They’ll see the time decreasing knowing it won’t be long till you’re totally there’s again. The timer works well if you’re pressed to finish up a project and need another 20 minutes. The key is to keep the time bites small and shower the child with praise and attention when the time is up.

And what if your child does make noise that’s heard? It’s okay, really. No need to panic, just explain that your child happens to be in the office today and then continue with your conversation. In today’s working office it’s understood that there will be days that a child will need to be in the office for whatever reason. It’s not necessary to explain you work from a home office if this isn’t something you haven’t previously shared.

Pre-planning helps you say good-bye to the stresses that rob you of being the constant professional that you are – keeping that image intact.

Ruth Martin is owner of Maplewood Virtual Assistance providing online business management services to entrepreneurs who are ready to stop operating their business and start growing it and seasonally can be found as the #1 Santa helper at U Write Santa, a personalized Santa letter service.

by Joy Jochems

Some of my biggest “ah-ha!” moments come in some of the strangest places: in the car, in the bathroom, at the kitchen sink. It was the latter that brought a moment of inspiration most recently. Perhaps you would like to hear it as my heart heard it:

“Joy?”

“Yes, Lord?”

“You had a really fun weekend, didn’t you?”

“It was awesome! There was the dinner out with friends, and then shopping with my best buddy, then a movie night … It was a weekend of fun that filled my extroverted tank!”

“And how are you feeling on this fine Monday?”

“Fine Monday? Seriously, Lord, it’s not so fine. Dishes, laundry, cranky kids, bills to pay … not exactly tank-filling material. I’m not really seeing the ‘fine’ in it, let alone the fun. To be honest, Lord, I’m just trying to make it through today.”

“So why is it that your weekend was so amazing, and now your joy is feeble?”

As I considered the Lord’s question to my heart and the Spirit’s conviction found its mark, I realized that I have been living for the next fun thing. I find myself thinking about that “next fun thing” that will fill my social appetite, or I find myself dwelling on how boring and tedious the every day is.

“Joy, how do you think that affects your children?”

“Oh, Lord, now I see…I’m instilling that same pattern in my children!”

It looks something like this:

“Well, kids, today we’re going to clean the house, but if we get that done THEN WE CAN GO TO A MOVIE!” Not that rewards and positive motivation are bad. It just seems like what I emphasize most is that there’s something fun to look forward to, not how to have joy in the every day. My subconscious attitude may sound like, “We’ll suffer and endure
this day so that we can do the next fun and exciting thing” or “If there’s nothing fun to look forward to, then what’s the point?”

How can I expect my children to “Be content in all circumstances” (Philippians 4:11) if I’m not living that on a day-to-day basis? What lesson will they learn better: the spoken Word or the demonstrated Word?

Later on, I took this lesson a step further as I considered how much my actions and attitudes teach my children. During the summer they have greater opportunity to observe me because we have more time together. What unspoken lessons am I teaching my children this summer?

What are they being shown is most important to me? Am I reflecting Christ-likeness to them, even in the every day?

Psalm 101:2 says, “I will be careful to lead a blameless life…I will walk in my house with blameless heart.”

“Joy?”

“Yes, Lord? I’m listening.”

“Why don’t you hang that verse above your sink?”

About the Author:
Joy Jochems has literally been in ministry her whole life.  She is the single mom of three children (ten-year-old identical twin girls and a five-year-old special needs son), and cooking together is a favorite way for them to make memories.

by Candi Wingate

School’s out for the summer.  You would like to plan fun and educational activities for your children.  Here are a few suggestions.

You can take advantage of sports, classes, and activities offered by civic or governmental organizations in your community.  These include municipal sports teams (i.e., baseball, softball, and soccer), YMCA/YWCA swimming lessons, art center youth programs and classes (i.e., painting pottery, drawing and painting, and clay art), museum youth programs (i.e., day camps and museum sleep-overs), planetarium youth programs and activities (i.e., junior astronomer programs), community theatre youth programs (i.e., youth theatre presentations), zoo youth programs (i.e., “all about __type of animal__” programs), public library reading programs (i.e., a Harry Potter reading group), club memberships and activities (i.e., Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, Cub Scouts, Brownies, Bluebirds, 4-H, etc.), and church summer camps.

You can also take advantage of classes and activities offered by local for-profit organizations.  These include cheerleading camps, dance or gymnastic classes, vocal or instrumental music lessons, music appreciation classes, and cooking or baking classes.

You can coordinate many of the above activities on your own rather than using the services of an organization.  For example, you can teach your child to swim at your local swimming pool, spend time each day reading a book with your child, teach your child to cook and bake, etc.

You can take educational vacations and day trips with your child.  For example, you can take a nature hike in your own community, take a plant and animal book with you, and learn about the plants and animals that are native to your area.

You can adopt or foster a pet, pet sit for a friend who may be out of town, or volunteer for a local animal rights organization.  Your local animal shelter, pound, or Humane Society, would likely be happy to have you adopt or foster an animal in their care, distribute posters or flyers promoting their cause, or volunteer as a dog walker.  Your child will learn about animals and their care, selfless love, and responsibility for the welfare of another.

You can plant a floral or vegetable garden, make and tend a terrarium, build and fly a kite, adopt a mile on a local highway (i.e., accepting responsibility for keeping the mile clean and free of litter), go on a scavenger hunt for educational and recyclable items (i.e, a metal pop bottle top, a penny, a plastic bottle coded a “2” for recycling, a maple leaf, etc.), or get involved in a local recycling program’s efforts.  Your child will learn about our natural environment (earth, wind, etc.), and he/she will hopefully learn to be a steward of that environment.

Candi Wingate, President
Nannies4Hire
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