This Month: A Letter From Candace

Many of us will remember Candace Cameron Bure from ABC’s Full House, where we affectionately knew her as “DJ Tanner.” Today Candace is a role model to young women everywhere, with a testimony of growing up in Hollywood, while growing in faith with God.

This month, Candace gets candid with a reader who hopes to win her husband to Christ.

I am married to an unbeliever. He and I got together real young, had a kid, and for the most part are very compatible with each other . The only problem is that I’m a new Christian trying to strengthen my faith, and he’d rather not discuss the topic of God, as he has had it rough growing up, and tends to use that as an excuse.

My question is, where do I go from here? I want my son in a strong Christian environment. For the most part, my husband is okay with me teaching him about God, taking him to church and praying.  He just doesn’t cooperate.

As his wife, I don’t want to force anything on him at all. And I know I have to deal with the natural consequences of marrying a non believer, but my house WILL serve the Lord!

We watched Fireproof last night, and I got the message. Maybe I should just worry about myself, and my faith in God, and hope that he sees Christ through me.

But I’m scared we will grow apart even more. We have free will; God wants us to willingly love Him. I just don’t want to be overbearing. He has major anxiety, and I seriously feel like we’re living in two different worlds lately. I hate watching him suffer with anxiety and not being able to do anything about it.

Yes, you can ask questions like this. I’m happy to recommend some things I think will help.

Neither my husband nor I cared much about God when we got married. Although we both had a basic belief in God, I became a true Christian before my husband. I prayed for his salvation for 2 years until I saw the fruit of those answered prayers when he gave his life to the Lord.

I’m glad you are asking these questions because that means you’re willing to seek answers and make some changes to your family life.  Could you and your husband grow apart because of the lack of union in Christ? Yes, it’s possible, but God also give a promise to wives concerning their unbelieving husbands.

1 Peter 3:1-2 - Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

Do you see the promise? If your husband does not believe the Word (that is, the bible, or Jesus himself) he may be won over (brought to Christ) without words (not by you saying a bunch of things to him) but by the behavior of their wife (your conduct), when he (your husband) sees the purity and reverence of your life (your spirit in Christ when you honor and reverence your husband).

Start praying for your husband’s salvation today and every day until it comes. Hold on to God’s promise and don’t let up no matter how difficult it gets. It is not wrong for you to obey your husband and have him lead your home even if he is an unbeliever as long as he isn’t asking you to sin. And I’m not talking about legalistic sins like when he’d rather take you and your son to the park and play on Sunday morning instead of going to church.  Go ahead and do that… being happy for the special time you’ll have together as a family.

It’s a wonderful thing that your husband doesn’t give you a hard time when teaching your son about Jesus or going to church. Be thankful for that! Take the season you’re in now to grow in your relationship with God, getting to know Him and His word better. Your husband doesn’t have to be at the same pace you’re at for you to teach your son or grow yourself. Trust in God’s love for you and for your husband. God can and will use YOU as a tool to bring your husband to Christ if you obey and yield to His ways. It may take 2 years of praying  like it did with my husband or it may take 35 years like it did for my dad. In any case, it will be in God’s timing, not yours. The question is, are you willing to hang on to the promise?

My favorite book on being the wife God created you to be is “Created to Be His Help Meet” by Debbie Pearl. You can find it at www.nogreaterjoy.org or a local Christian bookstore. At this point, you need to diligently pray for your husband, but don’t take the burden of his salvation upon your own shoulders. That’s God burden to bear. You are only accountable for your own actions, not your husband’s, although you should do everything you can to help your husband be the man God wants him to be.

Some examples? Don’t preach to him. If you’ve shared Christ as Savior with him, then let the words go and let your actions show. Your husband has anxiety? Listen to his troubles then sweetly let him know you’ll be praying about it for him. That’s all you need to say at that moment. Don’t be tempted to bust out the Bible and go into sermon about casting your anxieties upon God if He’s not open to hearing it at this point. But DO diligently pray to God and believe that He will meet the needs of your husband.

Proverbs speaks a lot about a wife, so listen up!

Proverbs 12:4
A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones.

Proverbs 18:22
The man who finds a wife finds a treasure,and he receives favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 19:14
Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth,but only the Lord can give an understanding wife.

Proverbs 21:9
It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.

Proverbs 27:15
A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day.

Proverbs 31:10
[A Wife of Noble Character] Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.

You said it in your letter that you should just let Christ show through you and that’s exactly right. Let the sweet love of Jesus shine so brightly through you, that your husband will question what has gotten into his wife. Literally! The Holy Spirit. Let the spirit lead you as you show reverence and obedience to your husband.

About Candace:

Candace is best known for her role as DJ Tanner on ABC’s hit sitcom Full House. Over the years, Candace has been on a self-imposed hiatus in support of her husband, NHL hockey star Valeri Bure and their three beautiful children, ages 4, 6 & 8.

Candace currently speaks at various churches, colleges, and outreach events throughout the year sharing her testimony and Christian faith. She has a heart for evangelism and recently traveled on a missionary trip to Ghana, Africa. Her long history of charitable work includes the Starlight Foundation, Make-A-Wish, Compassion International, Children’s Hunger Fund and Sheridan House Family Ministries.

This Month: A Letter From Candace

Hi Friends!

As you may have noticed, I don’t have a Q & A posted this month. Instead, I wanted to take this opportunity to share with you some exciting things that are happening in my life!

If you didn’t see recently on the AOL home page, entertainment news,  Facebook, MySpace or my website page…. I signed on to do a new television series called “Perfect 10″ for the ABC Family Channel! ”Perfect 10″ is a one hour drama that follows a group of teen Olympic hopefuls as they train and prepare for their day in the spotlight. My character (yet to be named) will be the step-mom to one of the gymnasts.

I’m really looking forward to being back on television and on a show I hope will be as family friendly as Full House. As an actor, I don’t have much say in what is written in the script or what the story lines will be, but I’m sure the producers will be open to hearing our thoughts. I do know, that because this show is based around a group of teenagers, there will most likely be topics that may not be suitable for young children. As moms, we  must use discretion and discernment with all things on TV regardless of the network it’s on or the time of day it airs.

As most of you know, I’ve devoted the last 10 years to staying home and raising my kids. Being a wife and a mother are two of the most important things in my life and they will always come first. So why the sudden change of heart, to go back to work? I could just blame it on the economy….. but actually the desire to act has never left me. I willfully laid down that desire to follow God’s path for my life which meant putting my acting career on the back burner for a while. All I’ve wanted is to just be in God’s will, no matter what that has meant; even giving up dreams. But God doesn’t place those dreams and desires in our hearts for nothing. It’s just been a matter of His timing to allow them to happen. Since my husband retired from hockey a few years ago and is a stay at home dad, that has allowed me to travel and speak across the country sharing my faith in churches and at conferences. Once that started happening, through prayer and discussion, did Val and I decide that going back to work may be a possibility should God open up those doors again.

And boy did He swing them wide open! The past year and a half has been a rolling snowball of speaking events, interviews, talk shows, radio, movies, books and television. To be honest, we were quite surprised how fast it’s all happened. We are so excited as a family and yet we are diligently staying in the Word to discern God’s path and not be lead astray by the glittering stars and lights.

As we move into a new season in our lives, would you consider being a prayer warrior for us? If you are inclined, please pray for a smooth transition to Los Angeles, for witnessing opportunities and to reflect the heart of Jesus to those who don’t know him. I would also ask that you keep the show “Perfect 10″ in prayer, specifically for family friendly content. While I may not agree with everything the show portrays, or agree with all the council the writers may give the characters, please know that I will be giving my best efforts in hopes that Hollywood would hear the voice of conservative parents.

I look forward to keeping you posted on the show, especially our premier date in June! If you’re interested in keeping up with me and my family in more detail, consider friend requesting me on Facebook or MySpace at Candace Cameron Bure or keep checking my website for updates and blogs! If you’d like to be added as a prayer warrior to my email prayer request list, just email me at email@candacecameronbure.net and in the subject line put “Prayer Warrior”.

Have a blessed month of April, and most importantly, remember that our Savior not only died for our sin, but rose again!!! He is risen!! Happy Easter!

Blessings,

About Candace:

Candace is best known for her role as DJ Tanner on ABC’s hit sitcom Full House. Over the years, Candace has been on a self-imposed hiatus in support of her husband, NHL hockey star Valeri Bure and their three beautiful children, ages 4, 6 & 8.

Candace currently speaks at various churches, colleges, and outreach events throughout the year sharing her testimony and Christian faith. She has a heart for evangelism and recently traveled on a missionary trip to Ghana, Africa. Her long history of charitable work includes the Starlight Foundation, Make-A-Wish, Compassion International, Children’s Hunger Fund and Sheridan House Family Ministries.

This month, Candace gets candid on weight loss when a reader says, “I’m over indulging again and can’t stop.”

I saw you in US Weely Magazine, and you look great! I wanted to ask, how do you keep yourself from slipping back into bad eating habits? I often find that I’m going along so well, and then the next thing I know I’m over indulging again and I can’t stop. I feel like when this happens I just undid all of the good work that I did. What’s your trick?

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The simple answer is that I train my body instead of spoiling it. Let me explain…

The other night, I made chicken and salad for dinner—or maybe it was pasta–I don’t exactly recall what we all had, but I do remember Maks liking it all a little too much! When Maks likes what he’s eating (which is often the case) he just keeps on scooping it in until I notice his sweet little cheeks getting full, and I say, “Maks, honey—you’ve had enough.” It’s a good thing I’m there to monitor him, since I fear the little guy may one day explode.

After dinner he started in on dessert, taking an apple, followed by a banana, along with high hopes of having yet another apple or two—until I stopped him again. You don’t want to be the person behind him at an all you can eat buffet—trust me on that.

Finally it was time to put the kids into bed, Lev was brushing his teeth, Natasha was reading a book, and Maks was parading around the room tapping on his little round belly.

“Uh, Mom?” He said, finally pausing for breath. “There may be a problem. I think I’m pregnant!”

I tried not to laugh, before explaining to him that he wasn’t about to give me a grandkid, nor by the looks of it–two.

I also found it a good time to explain that we don’t have to go hog wild when we’re eating, just because it tastes good. We need to consider what’s best for our bodies, when to say ‘When’ and how it’s my job as a mom to train him until he’s equipped to make that decision himself.

In much the same way, many of us eat as we please, because we aren’t trained to consider the result of our actions. We see where our actions have gotten us, but we don’t always realize the importance that discipline would have made.

We might say something like, “Overeating this once isn’t such a big deal. I can eat this, that, and the other, then I’ll just get back on track in the morning!” Getting on track is important, but the plan often falls through because we’ve started allowing sloppy habits to form.  I don’t let my kids get away such behavior, so why would I condone it for myself?

The trick is to look at it like your spirit is in charge, not your passions. Realize that you’re a grown up girl, and start living and eating accordingly–even if the going is tough. After a while you’ll be used to the training. Remember, discipline is never pleasant, but it yields fruit to those who are trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11).

Hope that helps!

About Candace:

Candace is best known for her role as DJ Tanner on ABC’s hit sitcom Full House. Over the years, Candace has been on a self-imposed hiatus in support of her husband, NHL hockey star Valeri Bure and their three beautiful children, ages 4, 6 & 8.

Candace currently speaks at various churches, colleges, and outreach events throughout the year sharing her testimony and Christian faith. She has a heart for evangelism and recently traveled on a missionary trip to Ghana, Africa. Her long history of charitable work includes the Starlight Foundation, Make-A-Wish, Compassion International, Children’s Hunger Fund and Sheridan House Family Ministries.

This month, Candace gets candid on weight loss when a reader who is tired of yoyo dieting asks, “How can I maintain?”

I read the article about you in the December 22 issue of Us Weekly Magazine. What really caught my eye was the amount of weight that you have lost since Full House ended.

For a small person like yourself 22 lbs is a lot of weight. Throughout my adult life my weight has literally been a yoyo, up one year then down the next. Every time I lose a substantial amount of weight I manage to gain most of it back within about a two year period, then I have to start all over again. At 52 years old I can’t keep on doing that all the time.

For whatever reason I have not been able to maintain my weight once I lose it. I do know what I have to do. My question to you is, how can I maintain this weight loss? I know that I have to exercise and I have started walking after dinner. My problem is that once I lose the desired weight I go back to eating.

Once I treat myself to something I can’t get back on track. I would really appreciate it if you could share some of your secrets. I really need to hear from someone who has not only had success in losing, but also in keeping the weight off.

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Weight loss is difficult and keeping it off can be even harder! Obviously, you know how to get it off–diet and exercise. Eating the right foods is key and staying on top of exercise is equally important. Your changes need to be a way of life. It’s OK to have a dessert here and there or a side of fries once in a while, but bringing those foods back into your daily diet will cause you to gain weight back and possibly more, as you already know.

I make sure that if I’m going to indulge in some goodies, the next day I’m on top of my wholesome diet. I’m conscience of what I put into my mouth every day, although Im not obsessive about it which can be just as dangerous.

Honestly, because I’ve been eating healthy fresh foods for so long, eating anything fried or processed makes my body feel bad. It may give me a headache, make me feel tired, or even sick. I don’t like feeling that way, knowing I can feel better just by the foods I’m eating.

If you know that it’s dangerous for you to eat your favorite unhealthy foods just once, then cut them out completely. I know for some people, it’s all or nothing. If that’s you, then refrain from eating all unhealthy foods. If however, you can exhibit self control and eat sweets in moderation, I would recommend this method. The later works for me as denying myself ALL sugar would make me go crazy! I prefer knowing I can have it, but choose not to, except on occasion. That is the exercise of my fruit of the spirit (self-control)!

I would encourage you to read Darlene Schacht’s column Live Well! She so wisely helps us keep the mental aspect of eating and exercising in line with God’s word.

Renewing your mind each and every day through prayer and reading the Bible can help you get a grip on not going back to your old habits. Commit to keeping your body a holy temple. God can give you the strength to do it. It will shine inside and out when you put the right things into it, both mentally and physically.

About Candace:

Candace is best known for her role as DJ Tanner on ABC’s hit sitcom Full House. Over the years, Candace has been on a self-imposed hiatus in support of her husband, NHL hockey star Valeri Bure and their three beautiful children, ages 4, 6 & 8.

Candace currently speaks at various churches, colleges, and outreach events throughout the year sharing her testimony and Christian faith. She has a heart for evangelism and recently traveled on a missionary trip to Ghana, Africa. Her long history of charitable work includes the Starlight Foundation, Make-A-Wish, Compassion International, Children’s Hunger Fund and Sheridan House Family Ministries.

This month, Candace gets candid on the topic of devotion when a reader asks, “I don’t know how to get back on track. Do you have any advice?”

Hi Candace, This website has encouraged me to strengthen my walk with Jesus Christ, but I would appreciate it if you would pray for me. I feel as if I am going nowhere with Christ and I am walking further away from Him.

When I was reading your testimony, I saw that you went through a period when Jesus was last in your life and not first. Well, that is kind of what I am feeling right now. I can’t ever seem to stay on track with my devotions. For Christmas, I received a devotional. I was so excited so I began to read it though, but that only lasted for a few days.

I became a Christian when I was 6 and rededicated my life when I was 12, but like I told you, it is as if I am walking away from Him. I don’t know how to get back on track. Do you have any advice?

P.S. I love Full House. It has been my favorite show for years. It just cracks me up.

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Thanks for writing to me.

It took me a while to grasp the greatness of what God did for me. Only until I understood His grace, did I want to walk in His ways. It sounds like you know about God, Jesus, and the cross, but somewhere along the way it hasn’t become personal for you (even though you’ve prayed to give your life to Christ and even recommitted it).  Sometimes growing up in a Christian home, the gospel  can be so ingrained in you and a part of your life with your parents, that it can become difficult to make it your own relationship.

I would really encourage you to read The Way of the Master by Ray Comfort. This is the book that helped me see my true need for Jesus–giving me a desire to live my life for Him. It was seeing my sin in the mirror of the 10 commandments and discovering that God upholds a higher standard than the world’s standards on judgment day that caused me to drop to my knees and ask for forgiveness.

It was then that I realized how good God is by sending His Son, Jesus, to pay for my sin, and from that point on I WANTED to live a life pleasing to God. My desire stays strong each and every day, because of the gratitude I have in my heart for His selfless work on the cross.  I’m so thankful for His sacrifice that I ask Him every day (by praying and reading the Bible) how He can use me, and what I can do for Him. Without prayer and daily reading of God’s word, my desires will wane. It is so important that even if you don’t “feel” like doing it, you still do.

Trust me–when you wet your appetite with God’s word, you’ll find it hard to live without. You can also check out www.thewayofthemaster.com. They have great stuff on there you can watch or listen to for free, and it may help ignite the fire for Jesus once again.

I know that your walk with Christ can be tough, if friends who don’t share in the same values or beliefs surround you. Do you have any Christian friends? Do you have a small church group Bible study you go to? Having a buddy who is walking with the Lord can help you stay on track. You can keep each other accountable for your actions. Remember that God knows your heart and your troubles. Pray to Him in all honesty and tell him what you’re feeling. Ask Him to help you seek Him and get to know Him better. Ask Him to give you the tools and friends to do that. He will. You just have to be willing to listen for His direction–accept it and work on it.

About Candace:

Candace is best known for her role as DJ Tanner on ABC’s hit sitcom Full House. Over the years, Candace has been on a self-imposed hiatus in support of her husband, NHL hockey star Valeri Bure and their three beautiful children, ages 4, 6 & 8.

Candace currently speaks at various churches, colleges, and outreach events throughout the year sharing her testimony and Christian faith. She has a heart for evangelism and recently traveled on a missionary trip to Ghana, Africa. Her long history of charitable work includes the Starlight Foundation, Make-A-Wish, Compassion International, Children’s Hunger Fund and Sheridan House Family Ministries.

I have noticed that a subject you speak on most often is that of being a godly wife.  I would love to see you in person, but until you come to Kalamazoo, MI I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to be a godly wife?  I was SO encouraged to hear that your husband was not saved when you were first married. My husband is saved, but his relationship with Christ has weakened recently. His father (who was his best friend) recently passed away and he has been growing distant from me, but especially from God.

I believe this is the time he needs to rely on God most and am hoping you could give me some ideas/tips for how I can encourage him to reconnect with our Heavenly Father.

Thank you for your message and any help you can give!

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The understanding that marriage is an equal partnership where husband and wife are equally important, but aren’t designed to share the same role, is  the foundation to being a godly wife, and encouraging our husbands in faith.

The Bible says, “For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman: but the woman for the man” (1Corinthians 11:8-9).

Today’s society would have us believe there should be no differences between a man and a woman. Society has it wrong.   We were created equally, but very differently, and so we have differing responsibilities in our marriage—ours being a HELPMEET. God created Adam, saying, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him”. (Gen. 2:18)

By respecting my husband, and submitting to him as the authority figure in our family–as he should be–my actions have helped to win him over without a word. First Peter 3:1 says, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.”

As I’ve mentioned in previous articles, submission is not a foul word. I don’t become a slave to my husband’s every demand—instead I take joy in serving him, and ultimately pleasing God. Val doesn’t take advantage of me, but rather gains respect for me, and chooses to love and honor me as I do him. This chain of command not only nurtures respect one to another, it also pleases the Lord, to whom we are ultimately accountable.

I encourage you to read Titus chapter 2, which teaches us a reverent way of life, and to also pick up a copy of Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debbie Pearl. You can purchase it on their website at www.nogreaterjoy.org or check your local Christian bookstore. This book is THE BEST in becoming a godly wife!  You may hate it, but you’ll thank me for recommending it.

Being there for your husband (once you’ve read and applied the book) will be the best thing you can do for him to reconnect with God.

Hi Candace, I have a question for you. What “discipline” technique do you employ or recommend? I too am a Christian. However, I am quite concerned that many people who want to follow Jesus’ teachings are misled. Jesus went against many of the practices that are laid out in the Old Testament. He was a pacifist. Why is it then that Christian parents are taught to hurt their children when it’s clearly not what Jesus taught?

The reason that I ask is because on Kirk’s site he promotes the book and videos of Shepherding a Child’s Heart, and your forum also talks about the book.

The book demands that the child be hit each time they do something that the parents object to, even when a baby cries about having their diaper changed!

Page 154 “Rebellion can be something as simple as an infant struggling against a diaper change or stiffening his body when you want him to sit on your lap. The discipline procedure is the same as laid out above. You have no way of knowing how much a child a year old or less can understand of what you say, but we do know that understanding comes long before the ability to articulate does….When our oldest child was approximately 8 months old….Obviously he was old enough to be disciplined.”

“Spanking” is a cutesy word for hitting. If an employer spanks his employee he would be arrested.

I respect you and wanted your insight–I couldn’t ask Kirk about it because he doesn’t have this type of forum.

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First I would suggest that parents read Shepherding a Child’s Heart for themselves and come to their own conclusion. You pulled an excerpt that sounds misleading. When read in the context of the whole chapter—and the entire book—you would see that there is absolutely, without question, NO abuse. That excerpt was simply talking about our defiant nature—even as young as a baby. It DIDN’T go on to say they should be spanked for not wanting their diaper changed.

A spanking is NEVER done in anger or in rage. It is a loving correction done with explanation and prayer to simply teach a child right from wrong. And please understand that a spanking is not the first resort. When a child is asked to do something and defiantly refuses, it is then that they would be lovingly corrected. As small children, often a second asking is good—something like, “Sara, Mommy asked you to put your toy in the basket.” If not responded to again, then correction would be appropriate.

Do you ever have to teach your child to say, “NO! That’s MINE! Gimme!”? Of course not. That is the sin nature we are all born with—a selfish, defiant attitude. We have to teach our children to share, to be kind, and unselfish. The Bible fully supports “the rod of correction,” but again, never in abuse, anger or for a parent’s selfish reasons to control his children.

Jesus did not come against the teachings of the Old Testament, but He fulfilled the “Law,” and the practices that the law entailed. We must keep in mind that Jesus is the same God “Yesterday, today and forever.”

I discipline my children by spanking when the situation calls for it. Once a toddler is walking around and getting into things, a slap on the hand is one way they respond to correction. It shouldn’t hurt as much as be a surprise, and discomfort to them. This prepares them that the word NO comes with a consequence. Once my children were around 18 months old, and we knew that they could understand our instruction, they were spanked on the bottom if they disobeyed. As my children grow older, we find more creative ways to discipline, allowing the punishment to fit the crime. These types of disciplines are effective and biblical when done in love. It is the responsibility of all parents to teach and train their children

I sincerely hope you would read Shepherding a Child’s Heart in its entirety. The title is so appropriate, because it is a WONDERFUL book that in no way teaches us to abuse our children. It’s all about getting to the heart of the matter and guiding them to understanding Godly submission.

Of the 19 chapters in this book, only one is dedicated to “the rod” even explaining common objections.

I hope this has shed some light on my view.

P.S. I also read an interesting article that Dr. James Dobson wrote for Focus on the Family titled, ”To Spank or Not to Spank.” In it He writes:

“Contrary to what you have read in popular literature, this firm but loving approach to child rearing will not harm a toddler or make him violent. To the contrary, it is most likely to produce a healthy, confident child.”

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Hi Candace, I grew up watching you on television. I am now 33 years old and I recently became a mother to a beautiful little girl named Mikayla. She proved to me that God doesn’t let you know how wonderful and amazing motherhood is until you have a child. Mikayla is the single greatest joy in our lives and we cherish her every day.

Anyway, on to my question…

I have been on your website and viewed your beautiful pictures and can’t help but think “how does she look so good, and stay in such great shape after having three kids?!” I was quite thin pre-baby, but I haven’t managed to get my body back, in the 8 months since Mikayla was born.

Any advice on how you got into shape after your babies? I am breastfeeding (I’m not sure if you did as well), therefore I can’t go on any strict diets, but I’d love to hear what your diet and exercise regimen were like post baby.

Thanks, Candace

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Congratulations on your daughter! 8 months and breast-feeding, huh? Surely you can shed a few pounds. My sister is breast-feeding and her son is 4 months. She called me this morning to tell me she dropped her last 3 pounds.

No, you can’t go on any strict diets, but you can certainly eat healthier and exercise more. Walks with Mikayla in the stroller are perfect. Start doing it 5 days a week! I also loved doing exercise DVD’s when the kids were taking naps (or before they woke up).

Eat fresh foods–meaning no processed foods with ingredients listing words that you can’t pronounce! If it grows in the ground or on a tree and God made it without man fixing it up–eat it!! Eat lots of fresh veggies, fruits and lean proteins like chicken, turkey and fish. I keep my portions small and try not to stuff myself. Half way through, I check myself, “Am I satisfied–not full, but satisfied?” If so, I keep the rest for later.

It all comes down to your intake of calories. It’s no big secret. I don’t have any miracles. I eat healthy and exercise. You can do it too! If you’re not sure how to “eat healthy,” there are lots of good books or programs that can help you learn like “The South Beach Diet” or “Weight Watchers.” Because you’re breast-feeding, you can keep up your calories, but make sure they’re good calories and not from fried foods and soda pop.

Here are my tips in a nutshell:

Stop eating when you’re satisfied
Don’t eat fried food or fast food
Don’t drink soda pop or sugar drinks
Eats lots of fresh veggies, fruit and lean proteins
Keep desserts to a few bites
Snack on nuts (7-10)
Drink lots of water
Get some exercise!

Hope this helps jump-start your weight loss. And one more thing–read Darlene Schacht’s column (on CWO) “Live Well!” It will motivate you to stay on the right track!

This month’s Q’s and A’s:

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I was wondering if you could enlighten me about how you and your family deal with Halloween. I feel that as a Christian, I should not have anything to do with it!

I have 2 girls and each year it is a struggle to stand up for our beliefs as Christians with respect to this issue. I have tried various ways of dealing with it in the past. When the girls were really young and didn’t know that they were
missing anything, my husband and I just stayed home, turned out the lights, pretended to not be home, and hid out in the basement watching TV or reading. Then, when they got older, I allowed them to dress up in “good” costumes, like fairies or princesses, but they had to stay home and we would purchase some candy for them to enjoy.

I decided that when I closed my door and pretended to not be home, I was missing opportunities to reach out to those who don’t know Christ as their personal savior. I got pumpkins and carved neat messages in them trying to reach the lost. One year I got 5 pumpkins and on each pumpkin, I carved out a word spelling out the message “Let Jesus Fill The Hollow,” once they were all lined up. Another year, I got 4 pumpkins and carved out the message “God’s Treat is Jesus.” I also ordered gospel tracts and handed them to the kids who came to our door, along with candy. Last year, reluctantly, I took my girls door to door to get candy because I conformed to pressure from my neighbor that I was making too big a deal out of things…after all, she said, the kids are just out to have fun! I failed terribly!

I still feel that we shouldn’t participate and I am struggling with a way to get through this time of the year without letting my girls down. They are going to have to learn that standing up for Jesus isn’t always easy but that they have to remain committed to Him and steadfast regardless of the criticism they receive from peers.

Do you have any suggestions of ways to do something special and fun with your family without compromising your beliefs? What do you do with your children at this time of year? I would really appreciate any feedback you could provide.

Thank you and God bless you and your family!

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I enjoyed reading your letter a lot, and have SO been there regarding Halloween. It’s such an awkward struggle, isn’t it? By the time my children turned 3, I simply did not know how to respond to Halloween and what to do with them. I grew up dressing up and trick or treating. I loved it as a child and had a blast. Most of the time, my parents had a Halloween party at our house but it was more about dancing, balloons and fun costumes than anything else. I have great memories as a child of this pagan holiday.

As a believer, I asked so many friends what their views were, hoping I’d find the right answer. I asked seasoned, strong Christians with young children and grown children. I also talked to my church about it. What I found out was that everyone has a different opinion of what to do. Our church doesn’t acknowledge Halloween, but has a kid’s outreach event that night. Some friend’s churches have a costume party along with “trunk or treating”—going car to car in the parking lot of the church for candy in “good costumes.” What surprised me most was that most of my grounded Christian friends took their kids trick or treating in their neighborhood. And then there’s my mom who’s now sold out on NOT celebrating or participating in Halloween period. Ahhhhhhh!!!! What do we do?

After doing just about everything you mentioned, from handing out tracks, to turning off the lights, and going to “non” Halloween events on that night, my husband and I decided that what our family enjoys most is dressing up in costumes and going trick or treating. Trust me, we prayed a lot about it! I’ve read all about the origins of Halloween and man, it is a bummer. But am I ever thankful for the commercialism of America. It’s the only holiday in which I’m thankful it adopted a superficial and fun meaning. Please don’t think we “celebrate” the holiday—we don’t, but I don’t think that Halloween can corrupt my children anymore than Christmas can Christianize others who celebrate it for their own reason.

We’ve talked to our children about the holiday and even read them books about it from a Christian point of view. We just use it as an excuse to have fun creating costumes, putting on make-up and playing fun family games that involve pumpkins. We always walk with several neighbors and their children up and down a few streets, and each of our friends enjoy seeing the kids dressed up. (We usually skip the really tricked-out scary houses.) And once we’re home, they sort through the candy, picking their favorites, and getting that once-a-year sugar feast.

I know some Christians will not agree with what we do, and yet we are at peace in allowing the kids to dress up and hunt for candy. I don’t know that there is a wrong or right answer to this one. I think every family needs to pray about it and seek God’s wisdom for themselves. In no way am I suggesting you should trick or treat. If you’re uncomfortable (because God is urging you not to—not the pressure of other Christians) then you should absolutely follow through with those convictions.

You’re correct, in that standing up for Jesus is not always easy. Sometimes, we don’t get to do what everyone else is doing. If you want to show your daughters your convictions about Halloween, then just don’t celebrate it. Your neighbor may think you’re being “mean” to your daughters, but she’s not the one answering to God for them. Don’t let her pressure get in the way.

I do know some families who don’t participate in it and don’t make a big deal about it either. They’ve told their kids they don’t want any part in it and that’s it. That’s all. There are no excuses, no negotiating and no alternate ideas. And all those kids are OK. They weren’t scarred for life. It may be disappointing to them at first, but they’ll just come to learn it’s one of those family rules.

As Christians, I think we should express our views and concerns with other believers, but leave the decision up to each family, not adding shame or guilt in the choice they make.

We know this tradition originated as the day of the dead, but is that what we’re rejoicing in? Should we let God search our hearts on this one?

Pray about it and follow YOUR spirit on this one, even if it’s tough on your daughters. Halloween is an odd struggle—I think most of us agree on that!

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I am 20 years old and have grown up in a Pentecostal church serving and loving God. I watched you on Full House while I was growing up (and still do today since it’s in syndication). You were such a huge role model for me growing up, and still are. I recently read Kirk’s book Still Growing, and found out that you are a Christian as well. I was overjoyed because there are few celebrities who proclaim their Christianity. I admire you very much–you are an amazing example.

I have a question. God has always been #1 in my life, until recently. I’m a student at a Christian college and I am always busy. I sometimes end up putting my Bible reading and praying to the side. How do you do it, being a mom, involved with your family–being so busy? How do you ensure that God is always #1 in your life, and that the things of this world don’t get in the way?

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Thanks for your email. I’m glad to know you love the Lord and serve Him. You asked me, “How do you do it, being a mom, involved with your family–being so busy? How do you ensure that God is always #1 in your life, and that the things of this world don’t get in the way?”

My #1 ministry is my family, so putting my husband first and taking care of my children are pleasing to God. I serve the Lord when I serve my family. But don’t let all my Q’s & A’s or my Christian website make you think that I’m a spiritual giant compared to everyone else. There are days I don’t read my Bible (I hate to admit) and there are days I’m off and running without starting out in prayer. But it doesn’t take long for it to catch up to me because of the emptiness I feel when I don’t give myself to the Lord first thing.

I guess when you are soundly saved and walking the road of Christianity, you have a sense of peace, joy, comfort and love you just can’t get anywhere else. When you see God in all His glory, speaking to you, directing you, performing miracles in your everyday life, you can’t help but want that relationship every day with Him. The thought of not hearing God’s voice because I’m not in-tune and listening for it makes me go crazy! And it’s never Him who leaves.

It takes work, it takes diligence, and it takes commitment. You have to put your priorities in order. How important is God to you? If you’re taking the time to ask me these questions, you obviously feel the void when you don’t pray or read your Bible. That’s a good thing! But it shouldn’t be out of guilt you do those things, it should be out of an utmost heartfelt gratitude that you have for God, because of His love in His sacrificial death for you.

We all need a little encouragement along the way. That’s why it’s so important to have friends around that are walking the same walk, keeping you accountable, and giving you encouragement. I don’t know what I’d do without my Wednesday Bible study girlfriends! I try to keep my eyes focused on the Lord and not the world. It’s easy for me when I’m faced with a decision to ask God, “Would this choice be pleasing to You?” Praying over it and holding it up to scripture helps keep me from letting the world get in the way.

Remember, you have to make it a priority, and that’s all there is to it!

This month’s Q’s and A’s:

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I am 31-years-old, and grew up watching you and Kirk on TV everyday. It is awesome that you love God–so do I!

Do you and your brother send your children to a Christian School? If so, why is this so important to you? I have 3 little ones of my own and I am faced with this decision.

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Thanks for your email. Yes, we send our children to a private Christian school. It’s important for us because I want the education they receive to be rooted in God. Not only where creation is taught (not Darwinism), but the teachers have a heart for Jesus.

This means they pray, talk about problems and solutions in a Biblical way, and handle each situation with a Christ-minded approach. This is especially important because I want a school that co-labors with us, and that which we teach at home.

Going to a Christian school doesn’t mean there aren’t problems though–there still are. Kids will be kids. I feel somewhat safer knowing that my children are surrounded by other kids who are growing up with the same values, but I’m still cautious and aware of my children’s friends and activities both on and off of school.

I strongly believe that a school, which is based on the foundation of Christ, will be a safer place than a public school, where anything goes.

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First of all, I just want to say that I grew up watching you on “Full House.”  I was about 10 when I first watched it, now I’m 27 and I have the entire DVD collection. It’s funny how “Full House” has always been one of my favorite shows, I still enjoy today, and now my son watches it with me. He’s 7, and knows everyone’s name.

I have a question. How do you feel about public schools? Being a Christian, it’s hard for me to be supportive of our country’s public schools when they don’t teach values or responsibility. I have had so many issues with the schools that my son has attended, and he’s only been in school for two years.

I look at it as the blind leading the blind, yet they’re the ones that are setting the students up to be our foundation, as we get older. I hate to see how this world is going to try to function with less intelligent people than those we have already.

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Thanks for your email. Glad you’re enjoying “Full House,” from one generation to the next.

Public schools. Yeah, it’s a tough one. Although I strongly encourage Christian schooling or home schooling with a Christian-based program, I’ll also say that my brother and sisters, and I all went to public school most of our lives, and my dad was a public school teacher for more than 35 years. I think we did just fine.

While I can look at public schools and feel generally disappointed with them, I believe that a school is as good as your child’s teacher. Having a loving, well-educated person, who loves what they do, can make the difference regardless of the school. I have some close friends who are Christians and are public school teachers and principals. They choose to stay in the public school system because they want to be a light to those children who may not otherwise see it at home. No, they’re not allowed to share openly in class and no, they can’t teach creation, but trust me, they are doing the best they can to represent Christ in all they do. I believe it’s important to get to know your child’s teacher, and talk with the school, if you feel there may be another teacher better suited for your child.

As I’ve said before, my children go to a private Christian school. I’m sure they will continue to as long as we’re able to afford it, or if our travels and sports take us in another direction, the other option would be home schooling for me.

While I choose not to have my children educated by the public school system, I still think it’s our responsibility to work with our government on local levels to create the best environment for children in public schools. We should have educated, hard working, well-paid teachers, and fight for issues like keeping God in the pledge of allegiance. Just because my child doesn’t go to a public school, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t fight for all the other children in our country.

This month’s Q’s and A’s:

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I recently saw your movie, “No One Would Tell,” on TV, and loved it! It was eye-opening and powerful. Even though I thought that the overall message defeated some of the sinful things in the movie, it didn’t make them go away. I’m wondering what your thoughts on the movie are from a Christian viewpoint.

The only thing that really bothered me was when your character slept with Bobby (even though we didn’t see it, it was definitely implied), and when I found out you were a Christian, I was a little torn on the judgment there. I’m not even sure if you were a Christian when you shot this movie, but I really just wanted to know your thoughts on some of the things that movie portrayed.

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Thanks for your email. I’m glad you enjoyed watching “No One Would Tell.” I’ve had a lot of email from people over the years who have watched it and learned a lot from it. I think they still show it in some schools today.

I think it’s wonderful how you were aware that some of the movie made you uncomfortable from a Christian point of view. I filmed it about 13 years ago, and although I considered myself a “Christian” at the time, I was not living my life for Jesus. I remember being uncomfortable that my character “Stacy” had sex with her boyfriend (only implied by the script, not shown), but I also knew that the movie was based on a true story and they were trying to keep to the real story as closely as possible.

As a mother and woman following Jesus, I can look back at the movie and wish there were some things that weren’t in it. I may have made some other choices within the movie. And that’s always the tricky part for a Christian actor, because a lot of people can’t disassociate a character they are portraying with the real life person they are.

Overall, I’m still proud of the movie because it has opened the eyes of many teenagers, giving them insight into abusive relationships. Do I wish that Stacy had not been intimate with her boyfriend? Of course. But it was important in keeping true to the real story.

I think it’s so great that you’re discerning the difference between God’s ways and the world’s ways. Keep it up!!

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I read your article from “Broward Family Life,” and was very enlightened. I grew up watching you on “Full House,” and now my daughter Nicole, who is 8, is watching you too. She has every season. How funny is that?

In the article I read that you are involved with 4 Kids of South Florida. I very much wanted to be a foster mother, but they want you to attend some 40 hours of classes at night, which is impossible for me since I have an 8-yr-old and I work fulltime. Is there anyway you could possibly help me become a foster mother without the classes? I have raised a 23-yr-old son, and an intelligent daughter, who is very helpful and well liked in school.

Any advice you could give me would help me, and maybe some lucky foster child. My daughter always said she would like a sister, but I can’t have any more children so why not be a foster mother? Look forward to hearing from you soon.

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Thank you so much for writing. I’m glad you enjoyed the article in “Broward County Life” magazine.

Unfortunately, I don’t know of any way to become a foster parent and skip the training hours. Most foster parents are more than capable but the training is to ensure that those wanting to become foster parents really are right for it, willing and able. It’s crazy to think that some people may foster with impure motives, but I’m sure the state and counties have seen these cases and do everything they can to make sure it doesn’t happen. Also, with an organization like 4 Kids of South Florida, it’s also important that the children are placed in loving Christian homes. Again, people can say anything they want on an application, so the training is a must to protect the children. I think the only type of full time care that wouldn’t require training would be adoption.

If you’re really serious about fostering, prayerfully consider the 40 hours of training. God can make it happen even with your work schedule. What may seem impossible for us is never impossible with Him. Ask Him, and be prepared for Him to answer you.

This month’s Q’s and A’s:

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Candace, I want to ask if you have any thoughts about how to teach our little ones about Christ? I have 2 boys: ages 2 & 5. I try to teach them about God; we read Bible stories at bedtime and we pray and talk about God here and there. Maybe it’s just a developmental thing, but my 5 year old seems so aloof. When he prays, he’s just repeating the words that he’s heard me pray, it doesn’t come from within himself. And when I try to teach him about God, he’s looking off into space, or trying to play with something. It is so frustrating to me because more than anything, I want them to know and love the Lord.

I’m not sure if God is just still an abstract idea to him or if he just doesn’t have a reverence for God yet. Would love to know your thoughts! Thanks so much!

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You sound like you are doing a wonderful job with your children teaching them about Christ. Don’t be discouraged if your 5 year old doesn’t “get” Him yet–he’s 5! Yes, I know some children who have professed their love for the Lord at the same age, but everyone develops differently. The most important thing you can continue to do is to love your children and teach them about God. Continue to read with them, play with them, and nurture them. Don’t think that reading those Bible stories are all for nothing. You’ll be surprised one day when your son is asked about something and he’ll recall a Bible story mommy read. Kids are like sponges. They soak it ALL in. Some kids just don’t squeeze it out till later.

I love The Way of the Master book for kids. It’s a really fun way to learn the 10 commandments and the story of creation. Remember that the best way to teach your kids about who God is at a young age, is to reflect within yourself the very things you’re trying to teach. In other words, live out your life for Christ. Your actions will speak loud and clear.

Keep up the good work and put your worry to rest. God loves your boys more than you do! Can you imagine that?!

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Love what you’re doing and think you look amazingly beautiful! ‘Full House’ would still be considered as one of my favorite shows! They just don’t make them like that anymore–good clean fun!

I checked out your website and was reading this question and answer column when I came across the answer to your secret for keeping fit! First time I’m hearing of Pilates (strange pronunciation to boot!) I looked it up on Wikipedia, and found it grouped with Yoga. There are a lot of things said against doing Yoga, so I was wondering whether Pilates would fall into the same group. What are your thoughts on Yoga too?

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Great question! I tried Yoga on and off about 9 and 10 years ago, but always felt uncomfortable with the “meditation.” I loved holding the positions as they strengthen your body immensely, but could never put my finger on the thing I didn’t like about it. Over the years, I too have read several articles on Yoga and the spiritual dangers of it. I’ve stayed away from it–although I’m not saying it’s a ‘sin’ to do it. It’s just my preference. Pilates on the other hand does not fit into the same category. It is not about meditation and contacting your inner self. It is strictly moves on either a mat, a reformer, a chair or tower that all work to strengthen your core; resulting in long, lean muscles. It’s amazing and the best workout I’ve ever done. The breathing is important only so your core is working properly; not for spiritual reasons.

Try it! I’m sure you’ll love it too.

This month’s Q’s and A’s:

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I am a young, Christian woman. Finding out that you were a Christian uplifted my spirits, like you wouldn’t believe!

Your role in the new movie “The Wager” is one of a seductive actress called Cassandra. And in one of your previous Q’s & A’s, you listed the questions that you ask yourself before you accept or receive a job.

One of the questions was this, “Will the new job be pleasing to God, and will it glorify Him?”

I asked myself, “How can this be pleasing to God?” The movie hasn’t come out yet, and I don’t know if your character, Cassandra, makes a turnaround in the movie (in which case I would say the part would be pleasing to God), but if she doesn’t than how does it please God? I am DEFINITELY NOT trying to question your judgment, but when I heard about the movie I thought it would be a good way for me to invite some of my non-Christian friends to go see it (use it as a witnessing tool), but I don’t know what it is about, and I don’t know if you would recommend it as a witnessing tool or not.

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Thanks for your questions. Do I think that the role I played was pleasing to God? Yes! The movie is rated PG, and is a modern day story based on the book of Job. Yes, my character Cassandra is a seductive movie actress, but keeping in line with a PG rating and being that it is a Christian film, there isn’t much to the seduction. It’s simply “implied.”

Randy Travis’s character, Michael Steel is struggling with life changing issues as God and Satan have placed a wager as to whether he is able to live out the Sermon on the Mount or not. My character is one of the temptations that forces Michael to make a decision about his wife and marriage. As I always want to honor God, my husband, and children, I purposely choose to be a part of the Wager because it’s a Christian film that shows the struggles of everyday life. In no way was the character I portrayed or the script dishonoring to God, but can clearly be used as a tool for the saved and the unsaved.

To answer your other question, yes, you can use this movie as a witnessing tool, although I think that I prefer The Passion of the Christ!! The Wager will be released on DVD May 13 nationwide.

Blessings to you,

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Hi Candace. I’m from Indonesia. I remember that I liked to watch Full House when I was a kid, and now I’m 27 years old.

I was surprised when I Googled your name and found out that you are Christian, and that you have a website that shares your experience with God.

I want to ask you a question, what do you think about sex before marriage? Is it a sin? Please tell me your opinion about this. Thank you.

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Thanks so much for your question—I’m excited to get one from Indonesia!

Do I think sex that before marriage is a sin? Yes I do, because the Bible teaches so. Starting with creation, God made man and woman. One of the purposes was to procreate. “Be fruitful and increase in number” (Genesis 1:28). He also wanted them to have an intimacy with one another, and sex was a tool to do that. Genesis 2:24, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

In the Old Testament, many scriptures talk about remaining a virgin before marriage. There is much written about this subject in the Levitical law. The New Testament goes on to talk about it as well. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says: “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own”. Also, Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral”.

The seventh commandment says “You shall not commit adultery”. Most of us assume adultery is only having sex outside of marriage. But Jesus said in Matthew 5:28 “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Adultery starts within our hearts, and remember that God is a judge of our heart. That’s a high standard to hold up, considering most of us can look at an attractive person and immediately have sexual thoughts about them.

But that’s why Jesus came to save. He saves us from all our sin, because not one of us can keep His high standard. We are forgiven at the foot of the cross. At the place of grace we need to learn God’s Word and right from wrong.

Because the world has a skewed view of sex, marriage, and relationships, it’s seems like such a tall order to keep from having sex before marriage—and it is! It’s seems backwards from what the world says, and yet it’s what the Bible clearly teaches.

I know how blessed you will be to wait until your married, regardless of whether you’ve had sex before or not. You can always make a change RIGHT NOW. Pray about this subject, and talk to God about it. If you desire a deeper relationship with God, being obedient to His Word is where you need to start. There are also several great books out there that can help you understand why it’s important to wait, and also give you the encouragement and the scriptures to do so.

Many blessings in your journey,

 Candace, I was wondering if there is a right way and a wrong way to pray. Sometimes I pray, and it seems that things get worse. How do you pray?

Nope–there’s no wrong way to pray. God’s thrilled that you’re spending time with Him. You can’t mess that up! Praying is talking to God, asking Him for wisdom, guidance and requests. The problem we often face is that when God doesn’t answer the way we want Him to, we think it’s not working. It may even seem to be getting worse, as you mentioned. It’s worse in your eyes, but not God’s. He may have other plans for you and is shaping the events in a way for you to get there. After Full House and a run of TV movies ended, I continued to pray for another TV show. It didn’t happen. I continued to pray for more acting jobs, but the door didn’t open. It wasn’t that my prayer requests weren’t working–it’s that God wanted me to be focusing on other things. In my case, it was my family. He wanted me home to be the wife and mother that He called me to be. I couldn’t do that to the best of my ability if I were traveling and working 9 hours a day. It took me a while to figure that out. God isn’t a magical genie where all of our requests are granted. Ask Him, but pray for His will in your life. This means accepting change where God shows you. You can listen to God by reading the Bible–that’s how He speaks to us. Also listening to the Holy Spirit who dwells within you, when you’ve received Christ as your Lord and Saviour. Praying the scriptures is the place to start. Open up the Psalms and read one each day and night. Speak them aloud; even replace words to seek your specific needs. Blessings to you in your journey of prayer.

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 Hello Candace! I’m a new mom. What were some ways that you helped instill Christian values and principles into your little ones?

Instilling Christian values and principles are SO important in our home. One of the best things you can do, is practice what you preach! Make sure you’re being a good example to follow, and are living out the very principles you’re trying to teach. We read a lot of stories at bedtime, many of them bible stories. My older children (ages 9 and 7) do a kid’s devotional every morning before they have breakfast. It only takes about 5 minutes for them and hopefully helps their day start off right. They are age appropriate devotionals and are directed at boys or girls. I found these at my local Christian bookstore.

We also have a GREAT small book by Brannon Howse called Building a Biblical Worldview Verse by Verse. It can be purchased at www.worldviewweekend.com. We sit around the dinner table and will learn a new verse once all 3 kids memorize the previous verse. This could take a few days or one week. They LOVE doing this and raise their hands so fast in hopes that I pick them to recite the verse. I’ll ask the question like: Who is God? And the verse they site is John 4:24 "God is Spirit, and those who worship Him, must worship in spirit and truth." This has become a dinner table topic…. and they love it. It also creates great family discussions.

One of the most important things I can teach my children is learning the 10 commandments. Another great book that will help kids memorize them visually is The Way of the Master for Kids by none other than my big bro–Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort. This can be purchased at www.livingwaters.com. The book is geared for ages 3-10 years old. I’ll ask my kids at random moments- what is commandment number 9? or 4? I’ve also told them if I ask them at random times to tell me in order all 10 commandments- I’ll give them $1.00. It’s great incentive. If I make my kids do chores around the house, eat vegetables because it’s good for them, I can certainly have them memorize scripture! Of course, the only book you REALLY need is the Bible. But the few I mentioned are a fun way to help you along. Hope this gives you some good ideas.

About The Author:

Q" I’m 18 years old, and had been dating this guy for 9 months. I truly believed he was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. We started off with the best intentions, but slowly lost sight of what really mattered, which is God and His will for our lives. I had always planned to wait until marriage; it wasn’t even an option for me not to wait, but after being with my boyfriend for a while we ended up taking to the next level.

The day after Thanksgiving, we decided to take a break. Everything seemed okay before I left his house that last time, and we even prayed together, but ever since that day, he hasn’t talked to me. I tried calling him, and he never answered or replied, so I wrote him a letter pouring out my heart to him and telling him to pray, pray, pray. I don’t understand what’s going on; the only thing I do know is that I have to trust the Lord.
I’m just asking for any advice, encouragement and, or prayer. Thanks so much!

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A: My heart hurts along with you. A broken heart is a terrible feeling.

Unfortunately, your story is not all that uncommon. It’s crazy to think someone you are in love with and thought about marrying, won’t even talk to you or write to you after you’ve shared the biggest gift in your life with him–your whole self. And yet, I think that’s part of the reason for the breakup. But before you start blaming yourself, or think I’m blaming you, hold on–I’m not. I just want to try to explain how a guy’s mind works (not that I’m an expert).

Most guys aren’t as emotional when it comes to sex. Where girls equate sex to love, men equate sex to relief. Of course I’m simply generalizing the sex drives of an 18 year-old boy and girl, but hear me out. So now he’s had you. The surprise is over; the gift unwrapped. There’s no more waiting to find out what’s inside. The mystery is gone.

It’s a horrible thought–something we’ve all had friends go through or we’ve experienced ourselves. It’s not uncommon. Your boyfriend may never have been ready for marriage. He may have known it but stayed in the relationship, because there was still something unknown in it. But once the "mystery" was gone, once he had everything, it probably confirmed his desires to do something he’d already thought about before–date other girls. Guys (and girls) will say a lot of dumb things to get what they want in the heat of hormones. But let me comfort you by saying, it’s not because you aren’t a great girl, not because you did something wrong to him, but because the one thing that was probably keeping him there–wanting all of you–was now gone.

We’ve all made dumb choices, and this choice of giving yourself to him, resulted in consequences. Those consequences are: him moving on, and you having made a decision that you now regret. It stinks. It doesn’t seem fair. Sex and marriage is something God designed perfectly, but often we don’t realize it until we’ve blown it.

So, here’s my advice to you. Don’t keep writing him or calling him. Let him go. Let him figure his stuff out on his own. Continuing to reach out, even by telling him you’re praying for him, will likely turn him off even more. I know it will be hard, but if God wants the two of you to be together, He can bring you back in His time.

When I was 17, I thought I was going to marry a certain someone. I was convinced of it. With all my heart, I just knew he was the one for me and would have placed a bet on it that we’d marry. And you what happened? We didn’t! God had other plans for me.

A great reading recommendation is For Young Women Only or For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa Rice. It will give you a lot of insight into the minds of guys.

With all of your heart, mind and soul, seek a relationship with God. Stop worrying about your boyfriend, and start finding your worth in God. Let Him be the one and only for you!

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Q: What about exercise? I am only 5’2", so I know in order to lose weight I need to get off the sofa and on to my elliptical machine. Give it up–what are your secrets? Seriously, after three children, how on earth is your stomach so tight? Do you have an iron clad exercise regimen?

I am blessed to be a stay-at-home mother of three, but there are times when I feel very overwhelmed! I am always so busy, between ballet classes and soccer that I never take the time that I need, physically and spiritually. I realize that I need to take care of myself in order to take care of everyone else, but this is easier said than done when you’re in the "mommy trenches!"

As a mother of three, how do you take time for yourself?

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A: I’ll give it up! I play tennis and take Pilates three days a week. Pilates has changed my body in amazing ways. (Thus the tight stomach!) I walk a lot with my children or we go for a bike ride around the neighborhood. I’m out and about every day so I don’t need to do a machine at the gym. But, if the weather doesn’t permit or sports aren’t your thing, you should check into joining a gym and even getting a personal trainer a few days a week. This really helps with the commitment aspect. If that’s not affordable for you, DVD workouts are great! I used to do them all the time when I lived in snowy weather. It was also great when my kids were infants and I didn’t want to take them to the gym.

So, just like you, I’m 5’2" and have 3 kids. If I can do it–you can too! You need to make changes to your daily routine and make exercise a priority. The more you can include your kids the easier it will be. You’ll be teaching them healthy habits that will benefit all of you.

You asked how I do it all and take time for myself? Well, all of my kids are in school now, so I have my mornings free. This gives me the time to work out, answer emails and do my chores etc. It’s all about prioritizing. I feel better when I exercise, so if I start my day off that way, I end up having more energy to get the other things done without being so tired.

Oh, one more thing–we limit the extra paid activities our kids do like sports and ballet. We take that time to do those things WITH our kids. For example, instead of putting them in tennis camps, my husband coaches them and I’ll go out and hit with them. So consider not signing up for soccer one quarter and use that time to ride bikes with the kids and kick the soccer ball with the whole family each Saturday morning. You’ll all have fun, you’ll all be exercising and most importantly, you’ll be able to use those opportunities to teach them Christian character.

About The Author:

Candace is best known for her role as DJ Tanner on ABC’s hit sitcom Full House. Over the years, Candace has been on a self-imposed hiatus in support of her husband, NHL hockey star Valeri Bure and their three beautiful children, ages 4, 6 & 8.

Candace currently speaks at various churches, colleges, and outreach events throughout the year sharing her testimony and Christian faith. She has a heart for evangelism and recently traveled on a missionary trip to Ghana, Africa. Her long history of charitable work includes the Starlight Foundation, Make-A-Wish, Compassion International, Children’s Hunger Fund and Sheridan House Family Ministries.

Q: I would just like to say that your ‘test’ is an absolute disgrace. [Referring to "The Good Person Test" at Candace's personal website.]

Could you imagine a child looking up his or her favorite "Full House" actress, taking that test, and being frightened to her soul that she will suffer in Hell?

Children don’t understand the terminology used in this horrid test, Candace. You were a child star; you must understand that your fans are children. Children are still seeing reruns of your sitcom on television; you are still 13 years old to them. These are the people searching for your website, not grown adults looking for holy answers on DJ Tanner’s website.

I would appreciate a response for my daughter’s sake.

Thank you.

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A: Thanks for visiting my website. I’m sorry "The Good Person Test" offends you. I admit I was too, until I understood God’s grace and mercy. It was a tool that helped me get right with God, and I have it on my website because it has encouraged others to do so as well. I do understand that not everyone agrees or sees eye to eye on the Bible, but there’s no question as to the God I serve. I’m very upfront about it as it’s the first thing talked about on my home page.

I do have a lot of young fans but even more adult fans, who grew up with the show and follow me through my ministry career. (I know this by the amount of emails I receive and whom they’re written from.)

I’m not D.J. Tanner, but Candace–a wife, mother, speaker and actress. My website is not a fan site for Full House, but a website about my life today, and one that I hope reflects my relationship with Jesus Christ.

As for children not understanding terminology–I beg to differ. My children are 5, 7, and 9 years old. They know well the words of the Bible, who Jesus is, sin and its consequences, heaven and hell, grace, mercy and His unconditional love.

I hope that any children who are of a young age surfing the internet would not be doing it alone. If you are concerned about your daughter seeing the test, hopefully you will filter the things in which you don’t want her to see and will be alongside her while she surfs the net.

Again, the "Good Person Test" is on there because I see value in it, and have had some amazing testimonies from people who have read it, are thankful for it and have sought out God because of it. I hope this had shed some light to your concerns.

(Click here if you’d like to read "The Good Person Test")

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Q: First off I just want to say what a true blessing you and this magazine are to me! So thank you so much for your time and great words!

Lately it seems like I have a hard time letting go of the sins I have committed in the past. I know I have been forgiven due to asking God for forgiveness and basically saying that I am sorry, but I still think about things I have done, and it brings me to tears sometimes.

I re-dedicated my life to God a few months back. I have been visiting churches in my area (I recently moved from my home town so I have been praying that God will find me a church in my area). But it’s been hard, trying to back away from "worldly" things that are out there.

I was brought up in a Christian home. My grandfather is a preacher at the church I went to in my hometown, and at age twelve I was saved, by asking God into my heart and forgiving me as a sinner. When I graduated from high school and started college, I started going down the wrong path, and then I would feel guilty and ask for forgiveness. It wasn’t till a few months ago that I realized I needed to change and start putting God first in everything I do. I know that if we ask God to forgive us, we are forgiven but how do I shake this feeling of "why did I do that?"

I have been reading my Bible and I just got the book you recommended: The Way of the Master. Any advice you have would be great!!

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A: Thanks for your email. I’m so glad you’re enjoying this column and CWO, and it’s good that you got The Way of the Master, because that’s the book I’d recommend reading.

I suspect you’ve never come to a place of Godly sorrow–I’m talking in tears, on your knees, over the sin in your life. It’s a place so deep inside of you, where you understand how offensive you’ve been toward God. Then understanding what He did for you on the cross and His grace.

I know you know "all the words" and what they mean, but I don’t know that you’ve been affected by it in your soul. It didn’t happen for me until after I read The Way of the Master. Maybe this will trigger it for you too, or maybe it will be something else.

In any case, once you’ve experienced Godly sorrow, you can come to a place of true repentance. Asking God to forgive you, and turning from your sin. See, it’s not just about feeling guilty over it and confessing it, but feeling so sorrowful that you don’t want to do it anymore. When you’ve asked for that forgiveness, it’s been given to you. There’s no reason to wallow in the guilt, that’s not going to do anything. You have to trust that once you’re forgiven, you’re forgiven.

"Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you." – Acts 13:38

Move on, and move into a right relationship with God. Dig into the Word to better know Him, and what He wants to do with your life.

About The Author:

Candace is best known for her role as DJ Tanner on ABC’s hit sitcom Full House. Over the years, Candace has been on a self-imposed hiatus in support of her husband, NHL hockey star Valeri Bure and their three beautiful children, ages 4, 6 & 8.

Candace currently speaks at various churches, colleges, and outreach events throughout the year sharing her testimony and Christian faith. She has a heart for evangelism and recently traveled on a missionary trip to Ghana, Africa. Her long history of charitable work includes the Starlight Foundation, Make-A-Wish, Compassion International, Children’s Hunger Fund and Sheridan House Family Ministries.

Learn more about Candace at her website, CandaceCameronBure.net.

Q:I just started a Bible study group (women only) at my home. I read that you are in a weekly Bible study group, so I wondered if you could give me some suggestions on what materials would be good to use with our Bible study?

How does your bible study group work? This is new for me and I kind of lead it, so I didn’t know if I should get a Bible study book to go with what book of the Bible we would study, or if there is a better option.

Also, could you recommend any books of the Bible that would be good to read for our study group? I appreciate any information.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

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A:You have amazing options, and a ton of choices in how you’d like to lead your study. Our group has done it several different ways over the years and I don’t know that one stands out for me over another. I’ve learned so much from each one, and every style had a uniqueness that made it special–it’s probably because it’s the Bible–the most interesting, exciting, and active book you’ll ever read!

I don’t know how well you know your Bible–and this may determine how you lead your study. If you’re a beginner I suggest your group studies off of a "Bible study" book. There are several choices at local Christian book stores, or online at www.lifeway.com.

You may want to start with a study on the book of John. John–not to be confused with John the Baptist–is commonly considered Jesus’ closest friend. You’ll be familiar with the new testament stories, but you’ll have a more intimate look at who Jesus is as only a best friend could share.

Each girl should purchase the Bible study book, and complete one chapter per week at home. At the start of each study, begin with prayer then go through the questions you answered from the week and discuss them. A lot of great conversation will stem from this.

If you want to jump into the BEST bible study (in my opinion), your group will have to shell out a few dollars to chip in for Beth Moore’s Daniel study. This is a DVD set along with a Bible study guide book. I love Beth Moore’s style and enthusiasm. I’ve never retained as much information as I did from this study because she’s that good! It also comes with a teacher’s guide (that’d be for you!) to help in instructing and moving the group along in a timely format.

If you don’t want any money involved to purchase books or DVD’s, you can choose a book of the Bible and go through line by line or chapter by chapter. Here are a few questions to ask yourself and look for when reading the scriptures to help dig in.

1. Is there an example to follow?
2. A command to obey?
3. A sin to avoid?
4. A promise to keep?

Currently, we are doing this style of study on 1 Peter. We chose 1 Peter, not only because it’s a great book, but also because it’s short. This type of study involves a lot of time to really dig in, look up definitions, and use a concordance to reference other scriptures. This is a wonderful way to study, but I must say it helps to have someone who’s knowledgeable and familiar with the Bible. I don’t think my group could study this way if it weren’t for our leader Debbie. She’s awesome!

Since this is your first small group and you’re heading it up, I suggest you choose a Bible study book or DVD set and pick a topic of interest for your whole group. You can study a book of the Bible or a topic of interest like being a godly wife, parenting, overcoming strongholds etc. As the leader, go to your bookstore or online, and choose 3 study guides to suggest. Vote on which study the group would like to do, then have each person purchase their own book.

You’ll be blessed in your efforts to study the Bible! And don’t be surprised at your rapid growth in your walk with Christ.

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Q:I had an opportunity to see you give your testimony on this year’s Girl’s Get-A-Way Cruise. I remember that there were several questions that you asked yourself prior to accepting or rejecting a job offer. I am in a similar situation with my current position and would like to know what those questions were. Thank you for your testimony. You were such a blessing on the cruise.

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A: The most important question I ask myself when faced with a life-changing decision is: Will this be pleasing to God?

Then ask yourself more detailed questions like:

* Will the new job be pleasing to God?
* Will it glorify Him?
* Can I see His hand in it?
* Can I see purpose in it? Or is it something to take my mind off Him?
* Will it take up more hours only to distract me from Him and my family?

Weigh the benefits and the disadvantages from God’s perspective, not your own desires. Most importantly, pray about it and seek advice from the Word.

Hope this helps.

About The Author:

Candace is best known for her role as DJ Tanner on ABC’s hit sitcom Full House. Over the years, Candace has been on a self-imposed hiatus in support of her husband, NHL hockey star Valeri Bure and their three beautiful children, ages 4, 6 & 8.

Candace currently speaks at various churches, colleges, and outreach events throughout the year sharing her testimony and Christian faith. She has a heart for evangelism and recently traveled on a missionary trip to Ghana, Africa. Her long history of charitable work includes the Starlight Foundation, Make-A-Wish, Compassion International, Children’s Hunger Fund and Sheridan House Family Ministries.

Learn more about Candace at her website, CandaceCameronBure.net.

Q:I am a mother to three kids. My daughter, age 4 and my sons, age 2 and 7 months. I know they are similar to the ages that your kids were a few years ago.

I find myself being overwhelmed with things to get done on a daily basis. Between taking care of the kids and trying to keep the house clean, I don’t feel that I ever have time to just, enjoy my family.

So, my question is, how do you get everything done? What have you done to make family time easier without falling behind on other things?

Thanks in advance!

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A:I remember those days. I’m not that much ahead of you, but let me assure you, it does get easier!

I don’t think there’s much time to sit and enjoy everything when the kids are those ages. I don’t mean to be a bummer, but let’s face it–it’s hard. There isn’t much time for anything other than keeping up with the kids, and cleaning up their messes. It takes a lot of patience, a lot of deep breaths, a lot of prayer, and as many hot baths alone that we can get!

I did it–without a husband most of the time, because he was on the road, playing hockey. I never had a nanny, but I got a babysitter every now and then to spend some alone time with my husband, and to get that much needed deep breath.

Don’t ever feel guilty or bad about having a night out without the kids. In fact–you should! Having a date night with hubby at least once a month (once a week is even better!) will refresh you, recharge you, and help you to enjoy the time you spend with the kids.

I was always advised to involve the kids as much as possible with the daily chores. In the beginning, it will be harder; they end up making the process slower since you’re teaching and they’re learning, but in the end, it will go a lot faster when they’re able to set the table, sort laundry and wash dishes. It is good advice, but I never had the patience for it! My kids do those things now, but I have to admit it’s with moans and groans. I guess I didn’t make it "fun" from the start. Maybe you will!

I don’t have any radical advice. Take lots of pictures to remember it all. When the youngest is four, it gets easier. Everyone can walk, talk, listen and take direction–much easier!! You’ll be able to sit and enjoy your family, and hear all of the stories about school and life, that your kids will be eager to tell you.

Be brave sister, and keep on! Enjoy that laundry time–sometimes it’s the only 20 minutes you’ll spend alone during the day!

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Q:I have read that your husband is the head of your household and I agree with that, but has it always been that way? When we first got married my husband did not know how to balance a check book and stuff like that, so he wanted me to do all of it. I would like him to make more decisions and feel comfortable with them.

I want to help him understand more about Christ, and for him to be the head of our household without making him feel that I just don’t want to take care things. Please advise.

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A: My husband was made to be a leader. There’s no getting around it for me. Because of that, it does make it easier for me to follow since he has a dominant personality. But I know several wives whose husbands are on the laid-back side, and want their moms–I mean wives–to do most everything.

Don’t worry though; he can still lead your home. Start by praying for your husband to be the spiritual leader of your household. Pray that he would come to know Christ. Pray that God would work on you to be the wife He’s called you to be. You shouldn’t be afraid to sit down and have a chat with your husband. In love, tell him that you respect him as the man of the house and you would love for him to make more decisions for the family. Just remember not to balk at him if he makes lousy ones in the beginning. This will only make him feel disrespected and he’ll eventually tell you to just keep doing everything since he never seems to do it right. He’ll need your support and encouragement. Don’t nag or get upset. If he isn’t used to leading, he’s not going to magically become a great leader overnight. It will take time, effort on your part, as well as patience and a lot of prayer.

As far as certain jobs around the house, there are some things you may do better, and that’s OK. Like paying the bills. I pay the bills in my home too. Yes, my husband knows about our finances and oversees all of it, but as for writing checks, filing and organizing, I’m the woman for the job. Val delegated that duty over to me because I’m better at it. If your husband isn’t comfortable with managing money and you’ve been gifted in that field, it’s OK to make those decisions. Just make sure you put aside time with your husband to present him any major changes in the budget and discuss new investments you may be thinking of. Make sense?

I hope this has helped.

About The Author:

Candace is best known for her role as DJ Tanner on ABC’s hit sitcom Full House. Over the years, Candace has been on a self-imposed hiatus in support of her husband, NHL hockey star Valeri Bure and their three beautiful children, ages 4, 6 & 8.

Candace currently speaks at various churches, colleges, and outreach events throughout the year sharing her testimony and Christian faith. She has a heart for evangelism and recently traveled on a missionary trip to Ghana, Africa. Her long history of charitable work includes the Starlight Foundation, Make-A-Wish, Compassion International, Children’s Hunger Fund and Sheridan House Family Ministries.

Learn more about Candace at her website, CandaceCameronBure.net.

Q:My husband and I have been married for four years. He has never been a Christian, but I have–even though I have backslid several times. We go to church and I am very happy about that, but I was wondering, could you give me some pointers on how to get him more interested in Christ?

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A:So you want to know how to get him more interested in Christ? Well, I’ll start by saying that when our interest in Christ is something so special and different, over time others might be drawn to it. What I mean is, that when a Christian is walking with the Lord there is usually something special about them, and if an unbeliever sees this difference in us, they may want to know what it is!

You said you’ve backslid several times. Most of us have, unless we came to Jesus for the right reason in the first place. Sadly, many churches entice us with the, "Jesus has a wonderful plan for your life…" spiel, until the going gets rough, and we wonder why we ever came to Jesus in the first place.

I was a backslider too; it wasn’t until I read The Way of the Master by Ray Comfort, that the gospel message hit me between the eyes. I’d then understood for the first time, my serious NEED for Jesus.

It’s hard to attract someone to something if the person trying to attract isn’t that excited about it in the first place. Did that sound confusing, or what? What I’m trying to say is, work on your relationship with the Lord first. Concentrate on being a godly wife. Make Christ-like changes in your own life that would make your husband wonder why he’s the luckiest man in the world to have such a wonderful wife. What made her change? Why is she so different? It’s then that you can gently tell him, "It’s Christ living in me."

Actions speak louder than words. Let your actions lead him to Christ. I always suggest joining a small group Bible study with other women. It’s the best way to get into the Word and start understanding it.

I hope this has helped.

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Q:I was wondering if you have any material for middle-school-aged children on dressing modestly. I am working at a middle school, 5th-8th grades, and they are having a terrible time with teaching these kids to dress modestly. We cannot say anything about God, which is so sad. But I thought maybe you could help me out. Thank you and God bless you!

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A: It’s crazy and shocking how some kids dress today. What’s even sadder is that parents allow it. It’s an uphill battle when God is not part of the equation; nevertheless, it’s still one to be addressed. Thanks for having the courage to do so!

There is actually a GREAT book written for young women on this very issue. It’s called For Young Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa A. Rice. I had the pleasure of endorsing the book. Of course it’s Christian based, but you could pull some great things from it without talking about God at school.

The original one they wrote was For Women Only and was such a hit, they addressed one for younger girls. It talks about what guys are thinking, and what goes through their brains when it comes to looking at girls and how guys think in general. Perhaps you could purchase a copy and share it with the class.

About The Author:

Candace is best known for her role as DJ Tanner on ABC’s hit sitcom Full House. Over the years, Candace has been on a self-imposed hiatus in support of her husband, NHL hockey star Valeri Bure and their three beautiful children, ages 4, 6 & 8.

Candace currently speaks at various churches, colleges, and outreach events throughout the year sharing her testimony and Christian faith. She has a heart for evangelism and recently traveled on a missionary trip to Ghana, Africa. Her long history of charitable work includes the Starlight Foundation, Make-A-Wish, Compassion International, Children’s Hunger Fund and Sheridan House Family Ministries.

Learn more about Candace at her website, CandaceCameronBure.net.

Q: Hi Candace, I’m a 29-year-old wife, and mother of three beautiful children. I have been raised in church all my life. We never missed a service. Every time the doors were open my family was present. Not only did we stay in church, but the life my parents and grandparents live are Christ-like, they have set the very BEST example anyone could for me, and still yet I struggle. I don’t understand it.

I have the desire so much to follow Christ with all my heart and to seek what it is that He has for me. I want to be an example for my children to follow as they grow up. I know that kids are more likely to do, as they see done, and not as they’re told. I feel as though I’ve lost my fire. I want to love the Lord with all my heart, and with all my soul and with all my mind. I just feel lost sometimes.

I feel as if I don’t recognize myself anymore from the young girl I once was. When I was in Bible College I was on fire. I read my Bible every day, and I had the desire to sit down and sup with the Lord. I feel I’ve lost that fire, or I feel as a mom that I just can’t find the alone time with Him. It’s so hard for me to let others take care of my kids and help me with things so I can fellowship with the Lord.

We’re new to the church that we are attending now, and my husband and I don’t agree 100% on the style of church we should attend. I want so badly for us both to be involved in church, but he doesn’t see it exactly the way I do. Please can you give me any advice on my rambling?

I’m just a normal everyday country girl, and so I’m not really good at writing a story, but I know where I need help and I saw your website and thought I’d ask you. You and your brother are an inspiration to me. I grew up with watching you on T.V. and it’s so exciting that now we can share the same faith. Thank you for your advice in advance.

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A:Thanks so much for your email. I too have times in my life where my walk with the Lord is on fire only to have the heat turned down for a few months. I wonder why this happens myself. But rest assured, it happens to most of us. I don’t ever lose my love for the Lord, but my zeal…yes. I get caught up with Val, the kids, summer plans, school, traveling, speaking–all the things that are important, but only to take my attention off God for a while. And I hate when I allow everything else to take priority over my time with God.

It’s like Paul said in Romans 7:15 "For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do." (I encourage you to read Romans 7:13-25).

I too have not spent the time I wanted to and should have this summer with the Lord. And I’ve felt my flame get dim. My dear friend lovingly tells us in our Bible study group every so often to keep our eyes fixed on the Lord so we don’t get off track. She relates it to swimming in the ocean. If you ever have, you’ll know that the current will continually push you left or right. You have to keep your eyes focused on your spot at shore (where your towel is- or in our kids case–mom and dad) or else you’ll lose site of where you are as the current sweeps you away. It’s never intentional, but nevertheless, it happens.

We need to do that with God. Keep our eyes fixed on Him, because with our every day activities we get swept up in our tasks and lose site of our place with Him. Getting that flame lit? Well, if you’re anything like me, I start praying about it every day when I realize I’m slipping. And when I get to the point I don’t think I’ll get revved up again, the Lord tugs at my heart. He often takes me to a place of emptiness for me to know that only He can fill me up. And there’s nothing like a good gut wrenching sermon to give me a humbling kick in the butt to remember what Christ did for me.

Most importantly, you HAVE to schedule time with the Lord. If it means waking up a half hour early before you get the kids up, then that’s what you do. I know I have to hit my knees as soon as I roll out of bed each morning or my day just won’t be right. I don’t always read the Word first thing, but I make sure I put aside time every day for it. There’s no way around it. If your kids are napping or entertaining themselves for a few minutes, you have to take that opportunity to read God’s Word or pray. The laundry will still be there in 15 minutes; it’s not going to run away.

Also, I think summer time is hardest for me because that’s when my Bible study group takes a break. All of us travel, so we resume when school starts. I realize how important my small group is, meeting each week at my home. They help keep me accountable and focused.

So I would encourage you to find a small group Bible study through your church, or if you know 4 or 5 women that would be interested in meeting at one of your homes each week. Fellowship and study with other believers is something I believe God intended for us to do.

Church styles? Try to find a church you’re both happy with. I’ll tell you to lean towards your husband’s style if it doesn’t kill you. Better to go to church together with a style you’re not as impressed with than not go at all. But I cautiously warn you to make sure it’s a solid Bible teaching church. If it doesn’t hold true to the Bible, then I would continue looking for a church. You can find an article on how to find a good church on my website.

I hope this helps and is an encouragement to you.

About The Author:

Candace is best known for her role as DJ Tanner on ABC’s hit sitcom Full House. Over the years, Candace has been on a self-imposed hiatus in support of her husband, NHL hockey star Valeri Bure and their three beautiful children, ages 4, 6 & 8.

Candace currently speaks at various churches, colleges, and outreach events throughout the year sharing her testimony and Christian faith. She has a heart for evangelism and recently traveled on a missionary trip to Ghana, Africa. Her long history of charitable work includes the Starlight Foundation, Make-A-Wish, Compassion International, Children’s Hunger Fund and Sheridan House Family Ministries.

Learn more about Candace at her website, CandaceCameronBure.net.

Q: I know you don’t usually get email from guys, but I have a problem that perhaps you can give me some insight over. A couple of years ago–about a month after my dad passed away–I went back to college. Not knowing anyone there, I prayed that God would bless me by giving me a friend to talk to. On the second day of class, He answered my prayer when I met this nice girl. We soon became great friends, and she was like a sister to me. We would talk about everything. I was so grateful that God had blessed me with such a special friend. I even went to her wedding, which was a huge honor.

My problem is this: last winter, I had a misunderstanding with my friend. It’s resolved now–I hope, but I still feel bad about it because the last thing I had ever wanted to do was cause trouble in our friendship. I worry a lot that although it is resolved, our friendship will never be as close as it was.

We don’t email each other as much as we used to, and I really miss her friendship. Please don’t misunderstand, I only think of her as a friend and as a sister. God blessed me with her friendship when I needed it the most, but since our misunderstanding, I feel like I’ve let her down and failed her as a friend. I’m not sure if our friendship will ever be the same.

Do you have any advice for me to first-not feel so guilty about the misunderstanding, and second-not to worry so much about our friendship. Thank you so much for listening. May God bless you!

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A: Thanks for your email. You were right, I don’t a lot of emails from guys–it’s nice to receive a question from you.

I don’t know that the advice I’ll offer will be much different from some you’ve probably received. While the details of the misunderstanding are irrelevant, you’ll have to be at peace with it if you’ve talked about it from your heart and apologized. There’s not much more you can do unless there is still something that wasn’t discussed that is nagging at you. Only you know that answer.

I’ll have to say that as soon as I read she got married, I thought–that’s it. Even though what you have is only a friendship, once a girl gets married, even her best friendships with men will never be the same. Her husband is her man above all now. She can’t and shouldn’t tell you all the details, intimate thoughts, dreams or goals you may have once shared. Even hanging out and just chillin’ together doesn’t happen so much because that’s what her husband is for. Her husband should be her new best friend. It’s hard; I understand. It’s probably not as easy for her either. I know because had a guy for a best friend and it had to change once I got married. It simply isn’t fair to her husband. You would never want to be a source of jealousy in their relationship.

While the friendship is super important to you, I’m sure things will change for you too when you meet your wife. You’ll want to spend all of your time with her. Be patient and just let your friend know that you’re there, but give her space to care and nurture her relationship with her husband. And above all, don’t drown in guilt over things of the past. Your guilt won’t do anything but simply bring you heartache. If you have a clear conscience before God, move on.

"Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad." Proverbs 12:25

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Q:I am a 24-year-old wife and mother. While I have always had faith in God, I was not raised in a religious home. I have recently started to feel my heart being called to the Lord, although I’m not sure what direction I should be going in or how I should begin my path.

I was baptized in the Methodist faith as a baby, but my family was not practicing while I was growing up. My husband and I have started attending church on Sundays with our baby since I started feeling this calling, but I’m confused about finding the right faith within Christianity.

Is it as simple as being a Christian, finding Jesus and letting Him fill your heart, or should I be seeking a specific denomination? And how will I know it when I find it? Since I know He is reaching out to me, how can I best serve Him as merely an average wife and mother?

Thank you for any advice you may offer.

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A: I’m so happy to hear the Lord is drawing you close. Praise Him!

Finding the right faith…it sounds confusing, but it’s not as hard as it seems. Being a Christian isn’t about finding the right sect of Christianity or denomination, but it is about knowing the Lord God, repenting of sin, surrendering to self and living your life for God–giving all glory to Him.

Yes, different denominations hold different rules, traditions and even interpretations of the Bible. So how do you know what’s right? The more time you spend with Him–in prayer and reading the Bible–the more you’ll know Him. If you are attending a church that doesn’t teach the Bible, you’re in the wrong place. Sadly, so many churches are about tradition and works, and that’s not what Jesus preached.

You’d better believe you can serve God in the biggest way by being a godly wife and mother!! Don’t think for a minute there is anything average about that. It’s exactly where God wants you to be, serving your family and training your children up in His way so they’ll know the God who gave them life–the God who suffered on the cross for their sin, so they too can be in Heaven if they live a surrendered life to Christ.

I’ve posted an article at my website, written by Todd Friel on the topic of how to find a good church:
http://www.candacecameronbure.net

I hope this article will help you find the right church. And I’d encourage you to read The Way of the Master by Ray Comfort. You can purchase it at a local Christian bookstore or online at www.livingwaters.com

About The Author:

Candace is best known for her role as DJ Tanner on ABC’s hit sitcom Full House. Over the years, Candace has been on a self-imposed hiatus in support of her husband, NHL hockey star Valeri Bure and their three beautiful children, ages 4, 6 & 8.

Candace currently speaks at various churches, colleges, and outreach events throughout the year sharing her testimony and Christian faith. She has a heart for evangelism and recently traveled on a missionary trip to Ghana, Africa. Her long history of charitable work includes the Starlight Foundation, Make-A-Wish, Compassion International, Children’s Hunger Fund and Sheridan House Family Ministries.

Learn more about Candace at her website, CandaceCameronBure.net.