Do you struggle with Anxiety? I want to encourage you that you are not alone. It is more common than people realize. First we want to look at what anxiety is before we can address how to deal with anxiety. A summarized definition of anxiety is: Having a uneasy, overwhelmed, apprehensive, fearful, concerned, and worrisome state of mind with the feeling of inadequacy to cope.

Anxiety also affects us internally to where we can become physically ill if untreated. There are different levels of anxiety but we will be dealing with anxiety in general. If you feel you are dealing with severe anxiety I encourage you to see a doctor who can give you a full diagnosis.

Now that we have established what anxiety is, we now have to look at the core of the problem which is what causes anxiety. The key of understanding the cause for anxiety is in the above summarized definition which is that it is a “state of mind”. The root of having any particular state of mind begins with our thoughts. Our thoughts whether good or bad lead our mind into a direction, and how much thought that goes into that particular direction affects not only our minds, but our point of view, our feelings and our emotions and that can then turn into our actions or reactions.

For example; A professional NFL football player injures his knee and was told that he had to sit out for a few football games to heal. His mind went from sitting out a few games to the coach putting him on second string to he’s going to be fired from the NFL to he’s going to lose his car and his house because he can’t pay the bills to his wife will probably leave him and take his children to he’ll be alone and homeless with no one around.

This poor guy went from hearing that he needed to sit out a few games and let his mind roam to him being homeless and lonely living off the streets. all over a matter of a few minutes. He allowed negative self talk scenarios lead him down a path that caused him to be anxiety filled and panic stricken. Although this is an extreme example this situation is more common than we want to admit.

So how can we deal with anxiety and negative self talk scenarios that lead us to anxiety? We can start off by accepting the fact that we need to re-program our minds on how we respond to the negative thoughts that enter in and practice using tools through the Word of God to combat those thoughts.

To begin, always begin with prayer and ask God to help you through what ever trial you are going through so remember to pray before during and after. (Phillipians.4:6-7)

I’m going to share helpful tools on how you can prevent those thoughts from turning into anxiety. Here are five preventative measures you can use:

1. Restrain your Thoughts: When the wrong thoughts come into our minds that are negative and untrue, we are to remove them and take them captive by not allowing them to run free but restrain and remove them by not entertaining or dwelling on them. Simply put “Don’t Go There!” (2 Cor 10:5-6)

2. Redirect Your Thinking: Redirecting your thoughts means to change your thoughts that are not true and negative to thoughts that are true and biblical as it is said in (Phillipians 4:8) This passage says to think thoughts that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely etc…. Memorize this scripture and ask yourself if your thoughts are true, nobel and right or are they being carried away in the negative self talk scenarios. Re-direct your thoughts to the Word of God and your mindset will begin to change. (Phil 4:8)

3. Renew Your Mind: With any habit we want to change we not only need to stop the cycle but replace the bad habit with a good habit. This is where we practice renewing our minds by memorizing scripture and replacing negative thoughts with thoughts that are edifying, pure, holy etc….We need to replace those thoughts with thoughts that are true through scripture memorization as mentioned in #1 by reciting a scripture or by spending time in the Word. It’s amazing how our thoughts can change when we read scripture. Renewing our minds takes constant practice but as we create a new habit we will find the old one is left far behind and far away from us. (Romans 12:2)

4. Redefine your Priorities: One other issue that causes anxiety is feeling overwhelmed by too many tasks or thoughts at once. To help alleviate this problem; you can sit down and write it out 1. What’s a real problem and what’s not. 2. Sort out your concerns and prioritize them. 3. Weed out what’s not important by either delegating it or putting it on a separate list to do. 4. Narrow down your list and focus on one task at a time and do the most important ones first.

Focusing on one task at a time will help you to not feel so overwhelmed and at the same time will organize your thoughts as well as your tasks into a doable plan and help you regain your ability to cope.

5. Carry it Out: Now that you know that these thoughts are not good and do harm you need to follow through with what you know is true and take them captive, remove them, don’t entertain them and replace them with good and pure thoughts. Changing our behavior takes practice and as you work on this faithfully you will have a new habit and renewed mind before you know it. (James 1:25)

If you do these things with prayer and by faith God will provide His strength in the midst of your weakness and give you the power to overcome for our victory comes from Him.

Scripture References:

(2 Cor 10:5-6) “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thobught to make it obedient to Christ.”

(Phil 4:8) “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.”

(Romans 12:2) “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will”

(James 1:25) “But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it — he will be blessed in what he does.”

Filoiann is a Pastor’s Wife, Work at Home Mom, Woman’s Biblical Counselor, Bible Teacher, Writer and Columnist. Her work can be found on a number of home business and Christian websites and blogs. Visit her website and sign-up for her monthly newsletter. www.filoiannwiedenhoff.com

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I recently saw your movie, “No One Would Tell,” on TV, and loved it! It was eye-opening and powerful. Even though I thought that the overall message defeated some of the sinful things in the movie, it didn’t make them go away. I’m wondering what your thoughts on the movie are from a Christian viewpoint.

The only thing that really bothered me was when your character slept with Bobby (even though we didn’t see it, it was definitely implied), and when I found out you were a Christian, I was a little torn on the judgment there. I’m not even sure if you were a Christian when you shot this movie, but I really just wanted to know your thoughts on some of the things that movie portrayed.

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Thanks for your email. I’m glad you enjoyed watching “No One Would Tell.” I’ve had a lot of email from people over the years who have watched it and learned a lot from it. I think they still show it in some schools today.

I think it’s wonderful how you were aware that some of the movie made you uncomfortable from a Christian point of view. I filmed it about 13 years ago, and although I considered myself a “Christian” at the time, I was not living my life for Jesus. I remember being uncomfortable that my character “Stacy” had sex with her boyfriend (only implied by the script, not shown), but I also knew that the movie was based on a true story and they were trying to keep to the real story as closely as possible.

As a mother and woman following Jesus, I can look back at the movie and wish there were some things that weren’t in it. I may have made some other choices within the movie. And that’s always the tricky part for a Christian actor, because a lot of people can’t disassociate a character they are portraying with the real life person they are.

Overall, I’m still proud of the movie because it has opened the eyes of many teenagers, giving them insight into abusive relationships. Do I wish that Stacy had not been intimate with her boyfriend? Of course. But it was important in keeping true to the real story.

I think it’s so great that you’re discerning the difference between God’s ways and the world’s ways. Keep it up!!

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I read your article from “Broward Family Life,” and was very enlightened. I grew up watching you on “Full House,” and now my daughter Nicole, who is 8, is watching you too. She has every season. How funny is that?

In the article I read that you are involved with 4 Kids of South Florida. I very much wanted to be a foster mother, but they want you to attend some 40 hours of classes at night, which is impossible for me since I have an 8-yr-old and I work fulltime. Is there anyway you could possibly help me become a foster mother without the classes? I have raised a 23-yr-old son, and an intelligent daughter, who is very helpful and well liked in school.

Any advice you could give me would help me, and maybe some lucky foster child. My daughter always said she would like a sister, but I can’t have any more children so why not be a foster mother? Look forward to hearing from you soon.

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Thank you so much for writing. I’m glad you enjoyed the article in “Broward County Life” magazine.

Unfortunately, I don’t know of any way to become a foster parent and skip the training hours. Most foster parents are more than capable but the training is to ensure that those wanting to become foster parents really are right for it, willing and able. It’s crazy to think that some people may foster with impure motives, but I’m sure the state and counties have seen these cases and do everything they can to make sure it doesn’t happen. Also, with an organization like 4 Kids of South Florida, it’s also important that the children are placed in loving Christian homes. Again, people can say anything they want on an application, so the training is a must to protect the children. I think the only type of full time care that wouldn’t require training would be adoption.

If you’re really serious about fostering, prayerfully consider the 40 hours of training. God can make it happen even with your work schedule. What may seem impossible for us is never impossible with Him. Ask Him, and be prepared for Him to answer you.

So the question is, “Where is YOUR faith?” Have you seen it lately? Maybe you left it at your bedside last night, or left it at the door as you left your home for the day, maybe you left it in the valley of your last trial and tribulation you faced. Wherever you left your faith, it’s easy to find, when you look to God for help.

Faith is not being “optimistic” or just “hoping for the best.” Faith comes from hearing, knowing, and BELIEVING, the promises of God (Romans 10:17). If you don’t know the promises God has made to you, you’re bound to lose your faith within a matter of moments. This world will constantly threaten your faith. It is no mistake that the Bible refers to the “fight of faith.” It is truly a fight, and the most important aspect of this fight is to know what the Word of God says about your situation. The enemy is constantly shaking our faith, especially as we draw nearer to God, especially as we seek to do His will. Don’t be surprised by the attacks, be ready, be armed, with the Word of God. God has given us a promise of hope for EVERY situation we face. Don’t be deceived into thinking that God can’t help you in your particular circumstances.” The devil is a liar; the father of all lies.

Throughout your day, stop to ask yourself, as Jesus asked the Disciples in their storm on the Sea of Galilee, (Luke 8:25) “Where is your faith?” Is your faith remaining in God, or has it drifted off to something, in and of, this world. And once you find your faith, ask yourself, will your faith take you into the next few minutes, the next hour, or will it even carry you into the next day? When you truly have faith in God, you not only have faith for the moment, but for whatever life may bring. And not only will God’s promises give you hope for today, but for all of eternity. The choice is yours, and God urges you to choose Victory, by trusting confidently in Him! Whatever it is you’re facing in life, make the choice today, to put your trust in God alone. Choose to just “believe God,” regardless of how things might seem on the surface. Choose to have faith in God, in the midst of all the uncertainty. Trust in God’s ways, God’s timing, and God’s love for you, and you’ll never be disappointed!

“Be Still” Let Jesus Calm Your Storms

“With this detailed study of the incident of Jesus calming the storm, Cherie Hill has not only brought new light to a familiar Gospel story, she has showed us how to both weather and grow from our own personal storms.“Be Still” is a healing balm to the soul. My best advice—get this book, use it, and buy another one for your best friend!” -Jim Thomson, M.A., LCPC, author and speaker.

About the Author:
Cherie Hill is the author of Be Still: Let Jesus Calm Your Storms, and an Amazon.com Shorts Bestselling author in the Christian genre. She has a BA in Psychology, a Biblical Counseling Certificate through the AACC, and is continuing studies through the Moody Bible Institute. Cherie is the founder of ScriptureNow.com Ministry that brings the Word of God and prayer, into over 30 countries around the world everyday. (reaching over 100,000 people every year)

Cherie brings instructive and uplifting teaching of the Word of God across the world through the “SpiritWaves™” audio ministry on EzraWebRadio.com and GloryStar Satellite Radio, with a subscriber base of 11 million people. Cherie’s podcast, “FaithSteps” ranks consistently in the top 100 Christian podcasts in the world on GodCast 1000.

“You’re wrong!” was his emphatic answer as he drove right passed the exit. Our friendly conversation was forgotten, the mood changed in an instant.

My husband and I were in the car—again—this time, on our way to Georgia to help our daughter-in-law settle into a new apartment while our son was otherwise engaged with the military. Thankfully, she was following behind us in another vehicle rather than listening to the debate in our car.

“I’m the one with the map!” I reminded him.

“We haven’t even gotten to the connecting highway, yet!” my momentarily confused husband disputed.

I explained to him, most emphatically, how mistaken he was.

He still didn’t believe me.

Then I got quiet and changed my tactic. I looked down at the map and started reading off the names of the roads we would be coming to next. Due to the fact I haven’t taken the time to get my glasses updated for far too long, he knows I’m not reading the signs along the road. I can’t even read them until we’re practically a car length away from them. This has, of course, contributed to our problems with me as navigator of this trip. But what would you rather have: a semi-blind person navigating or driving through unfamiliar, winding, hilly roads? My husband, wisely, designated me as trip-long navigator; I thought he’d at least trust me as such. After all, I trusted his driving.

Because the first 18 years of life trains a person to the unique way his or her family communicates, conversation styles brought into a marriage are often very different. Discussing daily activities and various topics at a healthy, marital level is an acquired skill that has not always been easy for my husband and me. For one thing, my husband understands his own feelings much better than I understand mine. He can tell when the temperature in a room plummets drastically, and he often presses, “Are you upset about something?” and I respond, “Yes!” Often, his next question is, “What about?” my reply is something akin to, “I don’t know, yet; I’ll let you know when I do.” This, of course, frustrates him. I didn’t even understand this was a problem until we’d been married a couple of years. Withdrawing and isolating had been modeled for me. Isn’t that how everyone communicates displeasure with their spouse? I thought so. My husband kindly informed me it wasn’t the way we would continue to share our feelings. I had to learn to communicate with words rather than punish him with my silence. So, on this day, like a good wife, I was talking….

“Next we will come across Highway 17, and then we’ll come across….”

“Okay, okay. You were right,” my husband conceded as he saw proof of our whereabouts, “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”

I accepted his apology and reached for my purse at my feet for my cell phone. I was going to call our daughter-in-law in the car behind us to inform her we’d be taking the next exit and changing directions (not for the first time on this trip, I might add). But, my husband saw what I was planning to do and quickly accessed his Blue Tooth attached to his ear. His silver blue eyes sparkled as he smiled and gave me a satisfied look that celebrated his quickness with his phone and also said he was quite happy to give our daughter-in-law his account of the turn around rather than mine.

“Hi! We’re going to be taking the next exit. We will be turning around and going back to catch an exit we missed.”

He was quiet while she spoke on the other end of the phone line, but I later found out she asked, “How far are we going back?”

To which he responded, “About the length of an argument.”

Funny. I wish all arguments could be cleared up in such a short length. Exiting arguments sure would be easier.

There comes a time in every child’s life when they are finally too old for the baby monitor…

That’s when it’s time to move on to cell phone text messaging between you and your preschoolers. Forget those outdated phonetics and learning the ABC’s — today’s hip family is moving straight into texting. Everything these days from business alerts to love notes are getting abbreviated in texts. Kids don’t need to learn to read “See Spot run.” They need to be able to alert their mothers to pending demands for munchies: *S4C = Starving for Cookies. See how it works?

Look at all the positive advantages to staying in touch with your preschoolers by texting…

You can stay in close communication when you are at the stove and they are sitting at the table building a Lego castle. That way you can accede to their demands and tantrums in real time. Today’s busy preschoolers simply don’t have the time for a normal give and take conversation. They live in an on demand world, so when they demand a Juicy Juice texting allows you just in time delivery.

Another advantage is that your preschooler is more apt to respond to your text message than your voice. Let’s say your four year old is going on a bike ride with dad. Don’t yell out the door, “Kyle are you wearing your helmet? That is so yesterday. Just text him, K RU Wearing HMIT? He’s sure to answer with something like, HOSBO. (Helmet on and seatbelt on.)

Texting is quicker and allows for more discreet conversation when called for. For instance, say your child is at grandma’s and you remember you didn’t send along a diaper. Simply text: RYPT (Remember your Potty Training). When he has a discreet moment he can text message back, 2 LATE.

Texting allows preschoolers to strengthen eye-hand coordination, build small

motor skills and increase vocabulary. Where else do four year olds get to practice on an area the size of a small tooth? It’s worth noting that while tots as tiny as three are able to grasp the art of texting, adults, on the other hand, are frequently reduced to tears trying to find the comma on their cell keypad. We recommend checking out resources to help you at your local library such as, Pushing Buttons for Dummies and Grownups.

Text messaging can also be used to help build your preschooler’s self-esteem. Simply send random messages as, URGR8 @ PD (You are great at Play Dough), or HMWYA (Hannah Montana Wants Your Autograph). Your child should never wonder at any given moment what you are thinking.

In the wake of the growing popularity of texting for tots, new related businesses are springing up. One enterprising Chicagoland teen has started a business called Textingfortots, where busy parents can have all sorts of things texted to their preschoolers on an established schedule. Birthday greetings, jokes on April Fool’s Day, notes from Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. There’s even reminders to make cards for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Through the service,
kids can also download bedtime stories to their Blackberries.

Text messaging takes most of the work out of parenting. In closing, you can spend more time at the spa to have mud wraps by eliminating facetime and letting technology turn you into a virtual parent. To aid you in your journey toward cyber-nurture here’s a handy and up-to-date dictionary of common Preschool Texting Messages and Answers:

SGHWYCT = Show Grandma how well you can talk

G3GO3 = Gaa, Gaa, Gaa, Goo, Goo, Goo

TYN = Take Your Nap

IYD = In your dreams

EYB = Eat Your Broccoli
FVC = Favorite Cereal

NMSOCP = Need more sugar on Cocoa Puffs

DC = Diaper Change?

2 Late = No translation necessary.

*VIN4C = Starving for Cookies

OHFFS = Only Healthy Food for Snacks

PMSOHH = Put More Syrup on Ho-Ho’s

IJMYT = I just made you tofu

RUK? = Are you kidding?

SC$SH = Success with Shopping (found Pampers 50% off)

SB? = Seatbelt On?

PT = Potty Training

2 Late

SC = Drink Your Sippy Cup

JC2LCC = Just Chugged 2 Liter Coca-Cola

TMM = Text Message Me Urgent Please

CTHDFC = Can’t Talk, Helping Dad Find Comma

It should be noted that a recent study found that irritated tots were turning off their new technology gadgets at an alarming rate and climbing into their parent’s laps to demand stories and facetime instead.

Read More of Cheryl Moeller’s Humor for Moms at Mom Laughs blog

Check out Cheryl and MacKenzie Moeller’s book Lexi’s Homeschool Diary

The combined mileage on your cars is 1,000,000 miles (and you haven’t left your suburb in seven years).

No one invites you over for Sunday dinner (unless it’s for a fast).

You have a laundromat in your basement (it’s open all night and you still can’t find an empty machine).

Holidays are always at your house (Santa has to use a “wide load” sleigh and 16 reindeer to haul everything down to you).

Your monthly grocery store receipt is 4 figures (the commodities market rallies every time you go shopping).

You are happy to get your oldest daughter’s hand-me-downs.

As long as you book it by the fourth of July, you are guaranteed a reserved table at your favorite restaurant for your whole family for Valentine’s Day.

You use a whole box of oatmeal to make breakfast (and that’s for the younger kids and newborns).

Your driveway looks like a used car lot (your husband wears a plaid sport coat and has to check with his manager before handing you the key).

Read More of Cheryl’ Clean Humor for Moms at Mom Laughs Blog

Read Cheryl and Mackenzie Moeller’s new Christian juvenile fiction with homeschooled characters:

Lexi’s Homeschool Diary

Do you ever feel like God is no where to be found? Have you ever poured your heart and soul out to Him, only to be left with nothing but silence? Does it ever seem that every time you take a step of faith, you are faced with something that contradicts it? Have you ever felt like God should have been there and He wasn’t; He could have helped, and He didn’t? The question we must ask ourselves is not, “Where is God?” but, “Where is our faith?” (Matthew 8:25)

We make choices in life every moment of every day, and we have to make a choice as to whether we’re going to trust God…or not. There can’t be any “if, ands, or buts.” If we make the decision to trust God, we must understand clearly that faith does NOT walk by sight. We will always experience doubt in the midst of our faith, but we must make sure we do not live a life where we are experiencing faith in the midst of our doubt. We must be determined to believe God without limits, without time frames, and without fully understanding His ways. God has His own schedule, His own agenda, and we can be certain through His Promises that His plans are for good. (Jeremiah 29:11) So we must trust Him, regardless of what we see, think, or feel. That’s walking by faith. In the face of fear and despair, we must keep on believing God. That’s the faith that never fails.We can often times be calling out to God to speak to us, and overlook the fact that He has spoken to us. If we go to His Word, we will always find God speaking to us; in this particular situation, trying to understand why God is not showing up in our lives, we can look to the Death of Lazarus. Although so many have heard this Gospel account, very few understand the heart of the message. In this miraculous event, we find ourselves so overcome by Jesus’ power, in raising Lazarus from the dead, that we overlook the incredible message that applies to our lives in our times of need. In John 11:1-44 (NLT), we find Jesus out of town, and His friend Lazarus who lived in Bethany is very ill. But Jesus declares that Lazarus will not die, and He foretold that this very situation would give people another opportunity to believe in Him. You can imagine how confused His Disciples and the others must have been. What if God said the same about your current struggle, “Don’t be concerned, this is going to give you another opportunity to believe in Me.”

Now, before they went to Lazarus, Jesus declared that Lazarus had in fact died. And He tells His Disciples that although Lazarus is dead, He will go and wake Him up. I don’t know about you, but that situation had to be just as confusing as the situations we face. We wonder, “What in the world is God talking about? What is He doing?” Most of the time, we can make no sense of God’s ways, until we see the end result. Jesus tells His Disciples that He is glad he wasn’t there, because it would give Him the opportunity to bring God glory. Jesus gave these Disciples hope, for the moment; that is what God’s Word does for us. His Word gives us promises, confident hope, for the moment; so that we are able to take the next step of faith.

So, we find Jesus arriving, and being met by Lazarus’ sisters, who believed that, if Jesus would have been there earlier, their brother would not have died. Our faith is no different, most of the time. We decide that God is late; He missed the opportunity to help us in our time of desperation and need! Many times, we look back at our situation, sometimes in anger, because we believe we did have faith, we did believe, but we feel God let us down. Now, before Jesus raises Lazarus, we find Him, weeping. Why was He weeping? It was over the lack of faith. It grieved His heart that those closest to Him believed that He had let them down, that He had failed them. Jesus weeps for you. He weeps that your faith will not fail. (Luke 22:32)

The one statement that is striking as Jesus performs this miracle is: “Didn’t I tell you that you will see God’s glory if you believe?”(John 11:40) He is saying the same to you, in your situation. “You will see God’s glory, if you will only believe.” But, we must clearly understand that “believing God,” doesn’t put time limits on Him, nor does it tell Him how He is to do something in our lives. When we’re trusting God, we’re trusting, that His ways, are better than our own. We’ve got to keep focused upon His Promises that say, His plans will bring about greater glory than we can imagine. Never, did the Disciples, Lazarus’ sisters, or the crowd, believe Jesus was going to raise someone from the dead! But God, does the impossible. Don’t ever forget that in your own life. He can do far more than you can ever hope for or imagine. (Ephesians 3:20)

It is our trust, in God, that brings us through the most difficult times of our lives; so that we too, can see His glory. And rest assured, although He may not show up when you think He should, He will show up, and it will be right on time!

Prayer: Heavenly Father, I pray that You will fill me with hope through Your Promises. I pray that You will strengthen me to face the uncertain and unknown with courage. Lord, help me to trust in You, regardless of what I see and feel. Help me to keep focused upon You, knowing all things are possible when I place my confident trust in You. Father, I step out in faith, believing with all my heart, that I will see Your glory as I trust in You completely.

About the Author:
Cherie Hill is the author of Be Still: Let Jesus Calm Your Storms, and an Amazon.com Shorts Bestselling author in the Christian genre. She has a BA in Psychology, a Biblical Counseling Certificate through the AACC, and is continuing studies through the Moody Bible Institute. Cherie is the founder of ScriptureNow.com Ministry that brings the Word of God and prayer, into over 30 countries around the world everyday. (reaching over 100,000 people every year)
Cherie brings instructive and uplifting teaching of the Word of God across the world through the “SpiritWaves™” audio ministry on EzraWebRadio.com and GloryStar Satellite Radio, with a subscriber base of 11 million people.
Cherie’s podcast, “FaithSteps” ranks consistently in the top 100 Christian podcasts in the world on GodCast 1000.

“From this day forward…I’ll be at your side forever…”

Twenty-nine years ago, I was focusing on my smiling, handsome groom as my dad escorted me down the aisle. My thoughts ranged from, “the day is finally here!” to “we’re going to raise a family together!” to “what is it we do on a honeymoon?”

Despite the years and the numerous times we’ve wondered what it is we should do next, my groom and I are still happy with each other. When we’re remembering the good times, 29 years seems to have gone so fast. When we focus on the less than ideal periods in our life, the years, in retrospect, seem to have crawled agonizingly slow. But somehow 29 years have all blurred together—it’s the history of our marriage from day one to today.

Do you remember your wedding day? Do you recall what your expectations for your marriage were?

H. Norman Wright, author of Before You Say I Do notes that most couples go into marriage with very high expectations:

“I want marriage to fulfill all my desires. I want security. I want someone to take care of me. I want intellectual stimulation. I want immediate economic security.”

Yet, after the honeymoon is over, it doesn’t take long to discover we get into trouble when our dream list starts with the words, “I want, I want, I want….” If we are focusing on just our own wants and desires, it’s a self-seeking list. Why get married and drag someone else along as we pursue our own dreams without any regard to theirs? Or, marry a spouse to use him or her to achieve our own greedy goals? Ideally, when we join together as a couple, we unite our dreams and goals mutually and walk side-by-side toward those objectives.

Common goals couples often pursue are top careers, new cars, homeownership and children. As time passes, our goals often change. But who do we choose to take this life-long trip with? How do we choose?

In the comic strip Hagar the Horrible, Hagar’s wife, Helga, is on the mountain top one day, praying in solitude. She pleads in her prayers, “Remember when I was younger I asked you to send me a husband? I gave you a list of the traits he should have. I said he should be brave and kind and loving. And you sent me a husband who is all those things. And I thank you! But now I have a question…is it too late to add to the list?”

Fairy tales depict the prince on his white charger, carrying his fair maiden off to the castle to forever dote on her. The sun is shining in the crystal clear skies, animals are smiling as they run alongside the happy couple, and birds are singing a lilting “life’s gonna be good forever more!” song. The scenario has been repeated so often, viewers grow up unaware it’s actually a fairy tale.

Naïve is the person who believes they are going to wake up each morning for the rest of their natural life and look over at their still beautiful, forever young, in excellent shape spouse and smile with deep attraction and appreciation. Pause. Rewind. At closer look, we don’t live in fairy tales, life is much more like a reality show, with all of its ugly emotions and haphazard chaos included.

So what do we need to do to keep our own reality show from being taken off the air? If those things that initially attract us to each other, like beauty and youth, don’t stay forever, what is it that will keep us going?

The answer is a simple ten letter word: commitment. Feelings change, youth is not forever, careers end, cars rust and houses decay. Those goals we focus on initially all seem to fall away. Yet, by choosing to stay committed to each other regardless of our stage of happiness can be a great common denominator. Picking a mate that understands feelings will ebb and flow but commitment is an unwavering requirement is a mate you can count on in the good times and the not so good times. It’s the ultimate love…spelled c-o-m-m-i-t-m-e-n-t.

We do need to pray before we select a spouse and be in constant prayer for our spouse as we promise to stay with our chosen mate. It’s that committed love we celebrate year after year—no matter how tired we are.

Bug Crunchers

1 box round crackers
1 jar natural peanut butter or soft cream cheese (flavored optional)
1 bag stick pretzels
Raisins

Spread peanut butter or cream cheese on one cracker. Place 4 pretzel sticks on each side acting as spider legs. Spread more peanut butter or cream cheese on second cracker and lay on top of pretzel sticks. Cut one raisin in half. Using peanut butter or cream cheese as glue, place on top of cracker to become the spiders’ eyes. Enjoy!

Fruit Snackers

Wooden sticks
Diced, watermelon, in season melon, banana, apple, pineapple, grapes and strawberries

Place diced fruit onto wooden sticks. Place on platter and serve.

Easy Pasta Salad

1 lb. Box of favorite pasta, cooked

2 Zucchini, diced
2 Red peppers, seeded and sliced
1 onion, chopped
Preheat oven to 375. Line cookie sheet with foil. Spread out vegetables on tray and coat with a drizzle of olive oil, salt and pepper. Roast vegetables for 20 minutes. Remove from oven and add to cooked pasta. Add vinaigrette and serve.

Lemon Vinaigrette

Zest 1 lemon
Juice 1 lemon
2 T. favorite vinegar
1 tsp. Dijon mustard
½ c. olive oil
Pinch salt and pepper

Wisk well.

I was driving around this afternoon, running errands for this and that, picking up the kids then taking the kids here and dropping them off there. Now that I have teenagers I think I spend more time in my car now than ever.

As I was coming home I thought about the story of Martha and Mary and how the topic of sitting at the Lords feet rather than works has been coming up a lot lately. Hmmm….gee I wonder if God is trying to send me a message?

Well, one thought did come to mind. When I was thinking about Martha, I realized that faith without deeds is dead but Jesus said that one thing was needed and Mary chose the good part and it will not be taken away from her. So I asked myself, “Where is the balance between being a Mary and a Martha?”

What I love about God’s Word is when you look at the heart of what the scriptures are really saying, you will find that it makes so much sense and it also brings clarity. For example, If you look at the passage again, Martha was doing a noble thing. She was preparing a meal for Jesus and His disciples. Remember in those days they did not have microwave ovens, electric stoves and a supermarket to buy fresh bread. Everything had to be handmade from scratch and most likely took hours to prepare.

So in looking back in time, asking Mary for a little help would have been reasonable. The wonderful thing about Jesus was that He knew how hard Martha was working in the kitchen and also knew that she probably did need help but saw Mary’s heart as an opportunity to display His will rather than Martha’s will. He wanted them both to know and understand that sitting at His feet was more important to Him than serving Him food. As you read on you will see that the food Jesus desires doesn’t come from human hands.

Do you remember the story of the woman at the well? After Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman he told His disciples that His food was to do the will of His Father. His ministering to the woman at the well was His sustenance; it nourished Him and made Him full. We don’t realize how important to God we are. Yes, we do know that He loves us and died for us but for some reason it seems as though that concept doesn’t register in our minds what the height, depth and width of His love for us really is.

We forget that this world is passing away and we get so caught up in this life with so many things and neglect what really matters most which is our personal relationship with Jesus. We read the bible for 15 minutes and call it a day instead of meditating on His Word or His Love all day long. We’ll choose to watch a two hour movie but spending a half hour in prayer is too long for us. We go here and we go there but never stop to give God our thanks and praise.

All the while, He is there just waiting patiently for us to remember Him in the midst of our busy lives. But Mary’s heart is what blessed Him. He saw that she just wanted to inhale anything that came out of His mouth. She was so grateful and thankful to Have Him there in her house that she didn’t care about anything else but being right there at His feet.

So what was the question again? It was how do we find the balance between being a Martha and a Mary?

Jesus set the tone with His response to Martha by saying that she was distracted by much serving. The key word here is “distracted”. What’s interesting is the word used in the Hebrew is “Perispao” in our English language it is, “cumber” which means hindered by being in the way. In other words Martha’s busyness and serving was actually hindering her and getting in the way of her relationship with Jesus.

My question to you is, “Is your service or busyness keeping you or getting in the way of you having a deep and intimate relationship with Jesus?”

Jesus also said that Mary chose that good part and it will not be taken away from her. The word part also means portion. He was making a distinction between Martha’s serving and Mary’s sitting. In our relationship with Jesus we are created to serve Him and Glorify God and we are also called to sit at His Feet and receive from Him. But Jesus makes it very clear which part comes first.

Martha’s desire to feed and serve Jesus was indeed a blessing, but Mary’s sitting and receiving from Jesus was the one thing that was needed and it will never be taken away from her because she chose that good part. So the message here is that before we go out to serve the Lord, we must first sit and receive from Him because it is He that enables us and empowers us to do His good and perfect work here on earth.

Rom 9:16
“So then it is not of him who wills, nor of him who runs, but of God who shows mercy. ”
NKJV

Remember that Jesus’s food was to do the will of His father by making Himself real to the people that God brought to Him by feeding them with His Word. Do you see how when we come to Jesus and allow Jesus to feed us His Word that He is fed also and so are we?

Rev 3:20
Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.
NKJV
So the next time you find yourself being a Martha, don’t forget to ask yourself if you are first being a Mary. Invite Him in and allow Him to feed you with His Word and in the midst of your busyness you will find peace and joy because you dine with your Lord and King who sustains you and makes you full. For the bible says that He will satisfy us.

Last question: Are you dining with Him? If not, He stands at the door knocking and waiting for you to open the door of your heart. Allow Him to come in and dine with you and you with Him.

Filoiann Wiedenhoff is a pastor’s wife, woman’s biblical counselor, bible teacher, writer and columnist. You can view her website at www.filoiannwiedenhoff.com

Money management does not need to be complicated and should be a routine exercise.

There are three secrets to money that I share with elementary children when we are doing money workshops.

SHARE:
You need to share your money – your wealth. My parents always reminded us growing up that there is always someone in more need than you. You can also view this as your spiritual money – count your blessings and help others in need. There are ‘theories’ that if you give to others on a regular basis, then wealth is returned to you.
There is a tax savings advantage – our contributions to bonafide charitable organizations are deductible. You are rewarded for your good deeds.

How much do you share? 10% of your income – that is $0.10 for every dollar you earn. You have the other $0.90 for every dollar.

Idea – Have a family meeting to decide which charities you will share with – include the kids.

SAVE:
You need to save!
For emergencies – to meet your goals for retirement, college savings for your children, caring for for your parents, etc.
Your emergency fund must be liquid – that means the money should be easily accessible in a savings account so that you can acquire the funds when an emergency arises.
Your other long-term savings funds, such as, retirement, college funds, etc. should be placed in investing vehicles that match your goal. Your Investment Advisor can help you find the right match out of all of the options available to investors.

How much do you save? MINIUM 10% Again, this is only $0.10 for every dollar you earn.
When investing your savings your money will grow.

Take advantage of employer sponsored retirement plans – for the savings benefits – for the tax benefits – for the convenience of having your funds put away automatically.

Idea – to pay yourself routinely – set up an automatic deposit. For example, have your employer deposit a portion of your net pay into your savings account directly.

SPEND:
This is the area where most of the attention is needed. You need to review your past – where your money has been going. You must analyze your spending to make sure that your family finances stay in line with YOUR plan. Your spending should include your living expenses (ie., home, utilities, food, medical, etc.) . Your plan for spending should also include income taxes – I realize no one wants to pay them, however, they are required.

How much should you spend? Average 70% When reviewing your past – if your spending is greater than what you earn – you need to develop a plan. When spending exceeds income, this is when financial troubles arise.

There are a variety of ways to manage your spending. Keep a daily log for a few weeks – you will quickly see how and where your money goes. This log will help you determine where you can make changes in order to meet your financial goals.

In order to manage your family funds, you must list your goals. What do you want your money to do for you? What do you expect to accomplish financially in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, etc.? Once you identify your family goals you can develop your plan of action. How will you get there? What lifestyle changes do you need to make? Where can you cut expenses? Remember, this needs to be reviewed REGULARLY. Once your plan is prepared, you can review it along with your monthly income and expenses once a month, or once a week.

There are many ways to track to finances too. Some prefer, pencil and paper – it helps them to sort their thoughts and visualize the plan. There are also various over-the-counter software packages. Many are user-friendly. Quicken (by Intuit) or MS Money (by Microsoft) or basic spreadsheets can be set up –templates are available on various websites. Do not be afraid to consult professional help. Sometimes you may need an outside guide to assist with your plan.

Remember, managing your money can be fun. Especially when you have a plan in place and everyone has a common goal. The family can work together.

The following are some RECOMMENDED WEBSITES to enhance your money savvy skills
(for the whole family):
www.practicalmoneyskills.com
www.bankrate.com
www.toolkit.com
www.jumpstartcoalition.org
www.cashworkbooks.com
www.moneyopolis.com
www.younginvestor.com/kids
www.sharebuilder.com
www.nfcc.org
www.ftc.gov
www.about.com

The following are RECOMMENDED BOOKS to enhance your money savvy skills and inspire you:
The Millionaire Mind, by Thomas Stanley
The Millionaire Next Door, by Thomas Stanley
The Millionaire Women Next Door, by Thomas Stanley
Ye$ You Can Achieve Financial Independence, by James Stowers
Rich Dad Poor Dad, by Robert Kiyosaki
105 Questions Children Ask about Money Matters, with a foreword by Larry Burkett
Growing Millionaire Kids by Marvin Sparks and Bruce Palaniuk

Information provided by Lesley Johnson of Johnson Financial Services. Lesley is the mother of four (ages 11, 6, 5, and 2). Her family resides in Pleasant View, TN. You can email questions and comments to johnsonfinancialsvc@hotmail.com or call the Money Hotline at 816-289-0476

The term “blog” is short for “weblog”, which just means an online journal or “log”. You can jot down personal thoughts and notes, post articles you’ve written or keep track of interesting websites you find. The sky is the limit, it seems, when it comes to blogging. A blog is something entirely of your own creation and you can use it to share your thoughts with the world, well….with anyone you can get to read it anyway.

One of the main debates going on about blogs is whether blogging can be done to improve Search Engine rankings for businesses or to create a buzz about business websites. Both of these can be true if the blog is used correctly. Many resources show that once a blog is created, many times it is listed in Search Engines within 48 hours. This was true of the blog I created for Christian Work at Home Moms.

These are many ways to create a blog. The easiest by far is to use one of the free tools available online, such as Google’s Blogger. You can create your blog for free using their online tools and templates(nothing to download). After you have created the blog, you can then publish your blog through them and “Wa-La” – your blog is posted online for the world to see.

Once you’ve created your blog, you will need to decide how you will use it. Will it be a personal blog, full of thoughts and comments for yourself alone or maybe your family? Or will it be a business blog, with articles and tips for potential customers? If you want your blog to be found by others, blogging experts recommend that you begin by setting the title and descriptions for your blog. These are similar to the the title and descriptions you set for your website. Try to make them meaningful because they are what people will see when your blog is returned in a Search Engine. If your description is simply “my blog”, you may not draw the attention you’d like.

If you are blogging in the hopes of attracting customers, make sure to use wise use of words and links in your blogs. Try to avoid the “click here” link. Instead, opt for links within descriptive sentences. Add the HTML link within the sentence and attach it to the words that are closely related to the page or site you are linking to. For example, to link to my website I would not use “click here” as my link. I would say, “Please visit Christian Work at Home Moms for home-based work resources.”

There are many ways to get your blog noticed outside of optimizing them for Search Engines. For instance, there are entire websites devoted to listing blogs dedicated to any topic that you can think of. One of the best such websites devoted to women-created blogs, is BlogDaisy.com. You can also use free tools such a FeedBurner.com to track the traffic on your blog and to create a dynamic title box that can be used to display your blog headlines on your website or even in your email signature. Each time you update your blog, these headlines are instantly updated.

There are many ways to use a blog for either personal or business use. If used correctly, a blog can be a terrific tool to inform potential customers of your business. Be sure to update your blog at least once a week so that the content remains fresh and you remain in the Search Engines.

My father was a First Sergeant in the Marine Corps, serving in the Vietnam War. He came home with wounds and purple hearts to show for it.

I was born during that time in November of 1967. He was there a few days after I was born but had to return to Vietnam shortly after. He may have come home another time when I was very little, but I don’t remember. I remember seeing him for the first time when I was about five years old.

I still remember the day he came home from the war. My mother, brothers and I were standing right outside on the blacktop where the planes landed, waiting anxiously for him to walk out.

Suddenly, a handsome young man dressed in a beige Marine uniform with medals swarming the side of his chest and wearing a sharp hat to match started walking toward us. I remember my mother bending down beside me, whispering in my ear saying, “That’s your father.” Without any hesitation I remember running up to him as fast as I could, opening up my arms and jumping right into his chest. He caught me in the air, hugging me tight, swinging me around laughing with the biggest smile I ever saw.

At that moment in time it didn’t matter that I didn’t know him; all I knew was he was my father and I loved him and he obviously loved me back. It was the beginning of a new relationship and I couldn’t wait to get started.

Our relationship never changed from that day. I was daddy’s little girl (and only girl) so I can honestly say I was indeed spoiled and my three brothers, Jaffa, John, and James can all testify to that fact, but they were okay with it being that I was a “girl” and all.

There’s something special about a father’s love that makes us feel secure, protected and grounded in who we are. Perhaps it’s because of their strong stature, their demeanor, or the fact that we know they go to work day in and day out to support the family, whether they feel like it or not. It’s not a conscious thought on our part, it’s just a sense of comfort and security knowing they are there.

There’s a quote by Billy Graham, a well-known Christian Evangelist who said, “A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.”

I agree with Billy Graham; fathers do so much, they mean so much and are valuable in our society, but are not given the praise and appreciation they deserve. I pray that this Father’s Day you would honor your fathers, husbands, brothers and any men you know in this important role and bless them with your words of affirmation, your actions and your love for all they do. While you are doing this, don’t forget you also have a Heavenly Father who loves you and is right there with you.

I would like to make a special dedication to my father, David Jaffa Solomon, my husband, Daniel Wiedenhoff, and my Heavenly Father.

My father is now in heaven but I know I will see him again. I just want to say, “Dad, I salute you with all my heart and I’m so proud of you. Thank you for loving me, my family and my country. I love you and I will see you again!”

To my husband, Dan, “Thank you for being a wonderful father; for all that you do, your hard work, labor of love and commitment to taking care of your family, even when you are tired or don’t feel like it. No matter what, you still get up and go to work every day to provide for us. We love you, appreciate you, and thank you for all you do!”

To my God and Heavenly Father, “Thank You for sacrificing Your only Son to give us eternal life. Thank you for Your unconditional love that never fails, Your consistent caring for us, and for never leaving nor forsaking us. There is nothing in this world I could give You to express my gratitude for all You have done for us and are still doing, except to say my prayer is that we could show You our appreciation by living a life which honors You and glorifies Your name. Thank You so much and we love You!”

To all you fathers, “Happy Father’s Day!” May you be blessed this day with peace, love and many blessings. We honor you and we appreciate you for all you do!

Filoiann Wiedenhoff is a pastor’s wife, woman’s biblical counselor, bible teacher, writer and columnist. You can view her website on www.filoiannwiedenhoff.com and sign up for her monthly newsletter.

I received an encouraging email from one of my clients today. It read, “Sales are picking up! Whatever you’re doing, Denise, keep doing it.”

My client believes her business is her God-given ministry. She feels called to share God’s love in a particular way through her business, but she’s frustrated because it hasn’t been working out. So, this email was a real encouragement that we were on the right track.

I sent her back some details of things I had done differently, “But mostly,” I said, “I’m praying.”

“I’m praying too,” she replied, “but I’m learning my problem is that I don’t act on the wisdom and direction I receive when I pray.”

Funny she said that. I’ve been noticing the same thing in my own life.

No one could ever accuse me of being a Martha. If I were to take the “Which famous Bible character are you most like?” quiz, I would probably come out pretty close to being like Mary. My favorite place to spend my time is at the feet of my Savior. When I’m there, I’m not concerned with locating the bed under Mt. St. Laundry, the to-do list that’s longer than my arm, or even my kids’ schoolwork for that day. All that can wait.

Yes, it can get pretty comfortable down there. Get up and go back to the routine and the work waiting for me outside my bedroom door? I don’t think so. I’ll stay right here where it’s peaceful and quiet, thank you very much.

As important as time with God is, though, I think there is a time when you have to stop praying and starting taking action. Like my client who had received wisdom and direction but hadn’t acted on it.

Perhaps sometimes I’m using my Mary-like tendencies as an excuse to rest on my laurels a little too long. I’m beginning to think of praying without taking action as developing a solid plan to lose weight… but then not following through on it. Or going to class regularly, but not sitting for the test.

I heard a true story that reminds me of how prayer and action can work together. There was a church choir that decided instead of practicing each week, they would pray together. So they met regularly for choir practice, but didn’t sing a note. Instead, they prayed. When the day finally came for them to perform, they took their places in front of the church and sang more beautifully than they ever had before.

It’s tempting for me to think this group of singers prayed without taking action. After all, instead of practicing, they asked God to do all the preparation for them. But they did take action. They showed up on Sunday morning, ready to do the work. They didn’t sleep in or go on vacation, expecting God to take care of that part too.

Do you ever wonder why God isn’t doing more through your business? Why the hours spent praying over your work haven’t brought the results you expected? There could be a lot of reasons, and the best place to find the answer is at the foot of the cross. But once you receive the direction you asked for, don’t forget to get up and follow.

Denise Willms is a ghostwriter and the owner of WAHM Articles, a directory of articles for work at home moms. Visit WAHM Articles for high quality reprint and original content designed to help you reach the lucrative “mom market.”

]]> http://cwahm.com/wordpress/2008/cwahm-columnists/time-to-quit-praying-%e2%80%93-and-get-to-work/feed/ http://cwahm.com/wordpress/2008/cwahm-columnists/candid-candace-by-candace-cameron-bure/candid-candace-june-2008/ http://cwahm.com/wordpress/2008/cwahm-columnists/candid-candace-by-candace-cameron-bure/candid-candace-june-2008/#comments Mon, 02 Jun 2008 04:13:01 +0000 jill http://cwahm.com/wordpress/?p=1372 ShareThis

Here are the top ten ways to use blogs to increase your business revenue.

1. Ad revenue - Offering paid advertising on your blog is one of the easiest ways to see tangible evidence of the benefits of blogging.

2. Link swaps - Swapping links with other like-minded bloggers increases your standing with search engines. One of the biggest blogs available, problogger.net, recently completed a survey in an attempt to find where bloggers get the most traffic? The overwhelming response? Google at 46%. This shows us how important search engine ranking are. Link swaps are just one way to improve yours.

3. Reviews - Another growing trend online is that of the customer review. People appreciate reading the thoughts of others before they purchase a product. It doesn’t seem to matter how big or small the product, either. Posting reviews of books you’ve read, CDs you love, etc, is a great way to generate traffic for your blog.

4. Free offers - Who doesn’t love a freebie? There are many ways of using freebies to your advantage.You can offer a free ebook when someone signs up for your newsletter is an easy way to build your subscriber base. Many blogs also offer contests for those who post comments or interact in other ways on the blog.

5. Blog tours - Being a part in a blog tour is like being the next stop along the railroad. If set up correctly, the tour will send participants from one blog to the next to read more about whatever topic the tour is covering. I’ve participated in many blog tours for book releases. It’s a lot of fun and a great way to bring new readers to your blog.

6. Networking - It goes without saying that building relationships with people is one of the oldest ways of gaining long-time, loyal customers (or in this case, readers). Taking part in the comments discussion on blogs and forums is a great way to do this. The key, though, is to be authentic. Don’t simply blast places with the link to your blog; take part in the discussion and provide useful information - not just your URL.

7. Directories - Listing your blog in blog directories is probably not the best way to generate traffic, but it can be useful in certain ways. It’s a great way to connect with other like-minded bloggers and possibly generate some link exchanges, etc.

8. Press/Media - Getting media attention can be challenging. One great way to bring your blog to the attention of the media is to send out Press Releases when something newsworthy happens on your site. For instance, when I offered a free e-book on my site for Mother’s Day I put together a press release to announce it to the world.

9. Consistency - Posting on a regular basis is key. Try to find a schedule that works for you and stick to it. Even if you can’t blog every day, work to get posts out there two to three times a week. Most blogging software, including Wordpress and Blogger, allow you to set the date and time our post will be published. Utilize tools like this to keep your blog consistently updated with fresh, new content.

10. Updates - Finding ways to keep your readers informed is a sure-fire way to keep them coming back to your blog. There are a quite a few ways of accomplishing this, such as offering a newsletter, setting up a Feedburner.com account, and making your RSS feeds easy to find and subscribe to.

Diana Ennen, co-author Virtual Assistant - The Series: Become a Highly Successful, Sought After VA, and co-host of MomCast Live, has been blogging for the past few years and states, “One of the greatest benefits I see to blogging is the results you see in Google ratings. Often times I will post to my blog and it will appear in my Google Alerts almost instantly. I post all my articles on my blog, as well as client’s articles and press releases. It’s a great way to generate more exposure for all your marketing efforts if you use your keywords effectively. If I’m posting on virtual assistants, I will make sure I post the keywords Virtual Assistants in the title and throughout the posting.”

Want to take your business to the next level or even six-figure status? It can be as easy as learning the ins and outs of blogging. Once you start seeing the results, you’ll be a believer just like us.

About the Author
Jill Hart is the founder of Christian Work at Home Moms, CWAHM.com. Jill is a contributing author in Laundry Tales, The Business Mom Guide Book, I’ll Be Home For Christmas and Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement For Military Wives. Jill has articles published across the web on sites like DrLaura.com and ClubMom.com. Jill and her husband, Allen of CWAHD.com reside in Nebraska with their two children. Jill is also the co-host of MomCast LIVE.

Spring has brought the family outside again and with the end of school approaching fast and summer next in line, the outdoor beckons all to participate in outdoor activities the entire family can enjoy. Lets face it, kids just want to have fun, not exercise! The good news is while they are “just having fun” their bodies are benefiting as well. Parents can get in on the fun with the kids by doing some cool activities together.

Play at the Park

Whether you have a play set in the back yard, a community play area or travel to your favorite area playground, you would be surprised how a basic play set can make for a terrific workout. Remember when you were a kid yourself and how hard you worked to get through the entire rung of monkey bars? The monkey bars build upper body strength and a great sense of accomplishment when able to complete the entire length of bars. Try doing them with your kids. Hint for parents: swing your legs for momentum! Try pull-ups on the bars as well. And no cheating, feet must be off the ground and knees bent.

A number of play sets include rope webs or ladder climbs. These climbing activities are good for core development and improving balance. Climbing the ropes requires a bit of balance and strength due to their angle. Some start with a slant and become vertical while others are just angled. Either way, the core muscles: abdominal and back muscles will be activated in order to balance on just your hands and feet while climbing the rope. When vertical, upper body begins to activate even more.

All kid approved play sets include the famous slide. Remember the metal ones that became so hot in the summer they burned your legs and tush on the way down? Hooray for technology! Plastic slides have been around for a long time now and remain cool when the sun is blazing. Wave slides in different lengths are now available as well as flat angled slides. For a twist, after sliding down, crawl back up the slide on hands and feet. Do that three times in a row!

Now lets not forget about the bench that sits under the shaded tree for tired parents to sit on when the playing gets too much. Benches aren’t only for sitting. Showoff a little and demonstrate your upper body strength to your kids by doing an angled push up. After that, show them how to do a step up. Step up onto the bench with your right leg, place both feet on the bench, then go back down leading with your right leg, Repeat starting with the left leg. Work up to 10 step ups on each side.

After each individual activity is mastered, create a circuit and include running activities along with incorporating the swings. Each play set includes different accessories. Be creative!

Pool Games

Kids young and old love playing in pools. Some will play for hours without breaking for a meal unless reminded. A favorite pool game to play is the Coin Toss and Keep game. To prevent bumping into each other in the pool only allow one child at a time to participate. Toss a coin; penny, nickel, dime or quarter, into the pool for a child to retrieve. What they retrieve they keep. For those still learning how to swim, it’s a fun way to build confidence with being underwater.

Evening Strolls

Now that the days are longer it’s easy to enjoy the beautiful evening weather without the intensity of the sun. Go for a family bike ride or a casual stroll in the neighborhood or on the local bike trail. Biking and walking are excellent cardiovascular activities that everyone can enjoy. In addition to biking and walking, roller blades and skateboarding are other activities kids enjoy. Try them all and alternate different activities each evening for variety and fun.

Diana Sadtler holds a BS in Exercise and Sport Science and is a NASM Certified Personal Trainer. She can be reached at dsadtlergetfit@tampabay.rr.com.

As a person goes to the doctor with a list of symptoms, seeking a diagnosis, the hope is to come out with a quick cure or a concrete plan toward an eventual cure with hopes to return to a life of normalcy. The diagnosis of autism for our son did not change his symptoms, and we were not given a sure plan to change his behaviors. He still woke up during the night screaming in terror, often two to three times a night. He still perseverated on odd objects like unsharpened pencils, the ceiling fan, and the morning’s newspaper. He still didn’t understand what we were trying to communicate to him. Did he even know we loved him?

This time brought a lot of confusion in our lives, and it caused stress in our marriage. My husband is a matter-of-fact kind of guy. He was sure everything would be fine. I needed to grieve the loss of a dream of a healthy, productive child. My husband was happy with whatever decisions I made for our son’s education. I researched, discussed with professionals and read as much as I could to educate myself so we could make wise decisions about our son’s options. My husband led simple, heartfelt prayers, “Lord, help us make the right choices….”

In the meantime, my husband traveled out of state every few days with his job, and would be gone two to three days at a time. I would be at home alone with our four boys, focusing on surviving each day with the myriad of challenges we were facing. Lack of sleep, lack of self-care, and continued stress contributed to my experiencing a deep, dark depression. The depression, in turn, provided a total lack of desire to participate in any marital rapport.

I got a bit frustrated with his lack of involvement in the decision making process. He was frustrated with my lack of interest in our marriage. Did it stop us from holding onto our dream of being married for life? Not at all. Going our separate ways because we didn’t like each other at the time was never an option.

We all handle difficult times in our lives differently; a big key for us was allowing each other to respond in their own way without criticism but also make plans together to take action toward solving the problems.

Many parents, understandably, want to know why their child has autism. But Jesus directs us to look beyond “why” toward “so that.” John 9:3 reads, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned…but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.”

Could the work of God be displayed in our son’s life if we hadn’t stayed together as man and wife? I have no doubt. But our lives are richer and fuller because we have fought the good fight, survived the battles together, and moved on to the inevitable challenges down the road. It’s life. It’s marriage.

The odds were against us. Some professionals quote statistics that 73% of marriages which carry the added burden of children with disabilities will fail. Tomorrow we will rejoice in victory as our son reaches for his diploma on the dais in his crisply ironed graduation gown that he has succeeded where few predicted he would; our marriage survived a season in our lives that seemed tedious and never ending. A few tears will undoubtedly be shed as we celebrate our son’s milestone. After all, graduation is a time for celebrating accomplishments. Not just of our children’s, but our own, as well.

I think I can compete with “Deal or No Deal?” host Howie Mandel but I refuse to shave my head.

My show works this way.

I have just been on a homeschool field trip to measure the width at the widest spot in the Fox River, the pediatrician, the post office, the oil change place, and pharmacy. But, of course, I am expected at 6:00 Pm to be home and produce a sumptuous, savory, and satisfying meal.

It’s my 26 or is it 6 kids who are opening up the briefcases showing clues as to what they want for dinner. My kids claim they really aren’t all that picky when it comes to eating but it’s not true. One of them wants Kosher and organic, one is eating Atkins, and another one is eating carbs only. Then I have the child who wants no refined sugar or caffeine. Finally I have two who refuse anything unless you have to peel it or crack it to find the natural food inside like bananas or peanuts. Try making a meal out of that!

In the 17 days over Christmas break our college age kids joined us at home and with all of us bellying up to the table three times a day I estimated that before “vacation” was over I would have prepared 408 meals. That’s eight people at three meals a day for 17 days. You do the math.

My son Pooka had the nerve to ask me, “Why wasn’t I getting out more? Didn’t I want some “me” time?”

“You’ve just got to make the time,” he advised.

So the lights come on and here we are in front of the “Meal or No Meal?” studio audience. I open the refrigerator and produce the frozen pheasant my husband shot last fall. It’s frosty, somewhat red, and has a tail feather sticking out.

“Meal or no meal?” I ask.”

The kids huddle and confer. “No meal!” they yell.

I then walk over to the microwave and open the door so all can see the macaroni and cheese plate that got set on 10 minutes instead of 1 minute. They look like taconite iron pellets painted black. My husband plans to use them to shoot more pheasants. I point at both and say, “Meal or no meal?” (I am thinking I should have made it in the oven instead of the microwave because when I do that it’s so much easier to pass off ready made meals as my own.)

They hesitate for a moment and then start jumping up and down, “No meal!” Everyone cheers.

I then casually walk over to the oven and open the door. There are two turkey legs from Thanksgiving that fell off and have been covered by aluminum foil for the last three months. Each one now appears to have the rough skin of a tyrannosaurus Rex. “Meal or no meal?” I ask.

“Maybe we should take it,” one desperate kid pleads.

I tell them it’s from the new genre of cooking called “minimalist.” It suits an extremely busy mom just fine. Some defeathered turkey legs and eight washed plums in an earthy, homemade basket in the middle of the table puts me on the cutting edge.

“No sirree!” the others respond. “No meal! No meal!”

“Very well,” I say. I stroll over to the pantry closet, open it, and show the kids five potatoes that have grown horns like Santa’s reindeer. They are soft, pliable, and now a lovely green. Just in time for St. Patrick’s Day. “Meal or no meal?” I ask with a smile.

“Don’t do it!” our youngest shouts. “I hate green.”

The older children relent and say, “No meal!”

I casually close the doors and walk over to the couch in the living room. I warn them we are getting down to their last choice. I then lift up the middle couch cushion and produce the bag of Cheetos that was left there when my oldest son entered first grade.

“They’re still orange,” I say, “at least when you pull them apart. It fits in with the trendy medieval style of eating where no silverware is used.”

The kids start to waiver. Someone lunges for the bell but then pulls back. “No meal!” they announce.

At that I take my coat, purse, and keys and casually answer, “You win! There’s No Meal tonight. I’m going to Panera to eat supper with the Banker (your father). See you tomorrow night, same time, same channel.”

Behind me I hear the oven door open and one of the kids asks, “Why are those turkey legs still moving?”

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

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I am a young, Christian woman. Finding out that you were a Christian uplifted my spirits, like you wouldn’t believe!

Your role in the new movie “The Wager” is one of a seductive actress called Cassandra. And in one of your previous Q’s & A’s, you listed the questions that you ask yourself before you accept or receive a job.

One of the questions was this, “Will the new job be pleasing to God, and will it glorify Him?”

I asked myself, “How can this be pleasing to God?” The movie hasn’t come out yet, and I don’t know if your character, Cassandra, makes a turnaround in the movie (in which case I would say the part would be pleasing to God), but if she doesn’t than how does it please God? I am DEFINITELY NOT trying to question your judgment, but when I heard about the movie I thought it would be a good way for me to invite some of my non-Christian friends to go see it (use it as a witnessing tool), but I don’t know what it is about, and I don’t know if you would recommend it as a witnessing tool or not.

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Thanks for your questions. Do I think that the role I played was pleasing to God? Yes! The movie is rated PG, and is a modern day story based on the book of Job. Yes, my character Cassandra is a seductive movie actress, but keeping in line with a PG rati