“Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God” (Isaiah 50:10b).

Ever since I bought Sara Groves’ latest album Fireflies and Songs, the song titled “From this one place” has really stuck in my mind. I bet most of you can relate to the theme of the song, too. She talks about not being able to see the road in front of her, not knowing what the future holds, and how scary that is.

Here’s the chorus:

“From this one place I can’t see very far/ In this one moment I’m square in the dark/These are the things I will trust in my heart/ You can see something else”

Does this sound like something you have said or felt before? One struggling military wife once told me she felt like she was so in the dark she couldn’t see her hand in front of her face, and it was all she could do to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. If we haven’t been in that place yet, I’m pretty confident that it’s only a matter of time before we are there too.

But the comfort comes in knowing that while we can’t see much from our point of view right now, God sees it all. He sees the big picture, and as Sara says in her song, He “can see something else.” Oh how we long to know what it is that God sees that we can’t! But if we could see it all at once, we wouldn’t have to trust Him. And I believe God wants to use the dark times of our lives to build our relationship with Him. In our darkest hours, it’s what we believe about God’s character that will sustain us. Do we believe that He is sovereign and in control? Do we believe that He is trustworthy? Our answers to these questions are more important than knowing the answers about what tomorrow will hold.

I absolutely love what Carolyn Custis James says in her book When Life and Beliefs Collide:

“God’s character is crucial, for there are moments in life when God’s goodness and love seem to come under a blackout. No matter how we strain our eyes, we cannot see any good, not a trace of God’s love . . . When faith cannot find something tangible to grasp, we are compelled to fly back to the ark of God’s unchanging, unfailing character. But faith will not find much of a foothold here if God is a stranger to us. Faith, in the finaly analysis, is trusting someone you know, even when you don’t always understand what he is doing” (page 73).

In a devotion titled “Faith Challenged” in the book Faith Deployed, Army wife Rebekah Benimoff shares this:

“When a young lady who once served on the chapel praise team with me learned that her husband had been killed in Iraq, those of us who served with her were shaken. while some people I knew were certain that God had told them everything would be okay, I had no such assurance. What God told me was quite different. He said that no matter what happens, He would carry me through. And to this day, He has” (page 216).

Rebekah was in the dark about her husband’s future, and about her future with him–as all of us are. But she learned to put her hope in the One who knows it all. “He can see something else…”

Jocelyn Green is the author of Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives. Learn more at www.faithdeployed.com.

In honor of the Month of the Military Child, I’d like to share this story to remember the children of the heroes who don’t come home. If you know a family who has lost a military member in Iraq or Afghanistan, please share this with them.

In November 2006, U.S. Air Force Major Steve Harrold, then stationed in Colorado Springs, lost a good friend who was killed in an F-16 crash in Iraq. He left behind a wife and five children, two of which were sons the same ages as Harrold’s boys: seven and nine years old. Harrold felt called to do something for these boys and others like them who had lost their fathers to the war.

Partnering with Journey Chapel Pastor Eric Eaton in Monument, Colo., a one-week camp was born in June 2007 called Modern Day Knights, later named Knights of Heroes. Sixteen boys from five states came to spend time together, be paired with a mentor and spend their days kayaking, rock climbing, camping, and doing other outdoor adventures. The camp pays for all expenses, including airfare for those who come and hotel stays for the moms and siblings.

The camp teaches the boys principles from the book Raising a Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis: 1) reject passivity, 2) accept responsibility, 3) lead courageously and 4) expect the greater reward. In the final camp session, Pastor Eaton rides in on a white horse dressed in knightly armor and challenges the boys to rise up to the challenge of authentic manhood. Each boy is “knighted” by Eaton’s sword and receives a special gift to take home.

First-year campers receive a family crest to emphasize the importance of carrying on their father’s legacy. Second-year campers are given a King Arthur replica dagger to hang on their wall, symbolizing that the camp is arming them for battles they’ll face as they grow. In June 2009, third-year campers were given a shield with their family crest hand-painted on it to signify that they can defend themselves against whatever life throws at them.

“We give the boys tools they can use for the rest of their life,” said Harrold. “I’ve seen their confidence increase. We challenge them in every single way physically and watch them face their fears. I’ve noticed a big change in the manner in which they accept challenges. We challenge them to take responsibility for all of their decisions. And to see their faces after they accomplish something they’ didn’t think they’d be able to—it’s amazing.”

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example . . .” (1 Timothy 4:12).

Prayer: Lord, guide these young men without fathers and help them find godly role models.

*This devotion is an excerpt from Stories of Faith and Courage from the War in Iraq and Afghanistan (AMG Publishers, fall 2009), which I co-authored with Jane Hampton Cook and John Croushorn. Order your copy from Amazon.com.

by Jocelyn Green, author of Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives

Two weeks ago my family and I drove from Iowa to Florida to visit family. Somewhere in Georgia, we passed a funeral motorcade and patriot guard for a fallen Marine on the other side of the highway. American flags and Marine Corps flags topped cars and motorcycles, snapping violently in the wind. Traffic backed up for what seemed like miles behind them. Suddenly the rest of us who witnessed the processional were jolted out of our own concerns (how far is the next gas station? how much Benadryl can I give to my child?) with the undeniable truth that while we go about our daily lives, the family of this fallen hero is experiencing unfathomable grief; their worlds have been turned upside down. And it’s because of their sacrifices, and the sacrifices of every military family, that the rest of us have the luxury of  living our lives unhindered by the paralyzing fear or pain of losing a loved one in war (or training!). Oh, how my heart aches for them.

I couldn’t help but wonder if I knew from Facebook the wife of that fallen Marine. Heaven forbid any of you should ever lose your spouse to war. But chances are, at the very least, you know a military widow or you will know one in the future. So I am so grateful to military wife Benita Koeman, founder of OperationWeAreHere.com for gathering a list of resources and ministries for families of fallen warriors. To see her complete list, click here.

Benita found a couple resources to be quite compelling as she compiled her list. She says:

American Widow Project, though not faith-based, I think does a phenominal job in reaching out to other widows. Founded by a young military widow, Taryn Davis, she does an amazing job at addressing and meeting the support needs of other military widows. Her site and Facebook Group is a safe place to discuss the hard things and to find understanding that the rest of us can’t offer. Taryn has even compiled a list of Do-It-Yourself Web sites…as a bystander I wouldn’t have even thought of the need for that.

Stephen’s Touch, a caring, listening ministry is an organization that I think is a vital resource.

I would also like to highlight an amazing ministry for sons of fallen heroes. Knights of Heroes is an annual summer camp for boys who have lost their fathers in the war. The camp pays for the sons and their widowed mothers to come to camp- it’s all expenses paid. They do all kinds of outdoor activities from kayaking and rock-climbing to archery and shooting. I had the privilege of interviewing the founder, Steve Harrold, and I highly recommend this ministry.

Finally, Benita is looking for insights from loved ones of fallen heroes. She says:

What I would like to provide here [one her Web site] is an outlet for the loved ones. I hope that answering three important questions would help us gain perspective:

1. What people have said/done that helps.
2. What people have said/done that hurts.
3. What I wish people understood.

Any other writings/ponderings will also be considered.

I realize that each individual, each situation is unique, so I am hoping to include a variety of responses from widow(er)s, parents, siblings, friends, and anyone else affected by the loss.

The responses will be posted anonymously on this page, so this is your opportunity to share from the heart and give the rest of us insight in how we can help. Thank you in advance for opening our eyes and our hearts.

Benita Koemane-mail

If you know of anyone who may want to respond to Benita’s questions, please forward this post to him/her. Thank you!

by Jocelyn Green

In his State of the Union Address on Jan. 27, President Obama said that our men and women in uniform must know “that they have our respect, our gratitude, our full support.  And just as they must have the resources they need in war, we all have a responsibility to support them when they come home.”

I agree. But if we really want to support the troops, that can’t be all we do. It’s not enough to slap a “Support the Troops” bumper sticker on our cars, or even to say thank you to the men and women in uniform we come across as we’re bustling through the airport. If we want to support the troops, we need to be supporting their families at home.

Obama mentioned that the government increased investments for veterans last year (applause), that the government is building a 21st century VA (applause), and that the First Lady has joined with Jill Biden to forge a national commitment to support military families.  (Applause.)

Fine.  Good. The need is great. But let us not think for one moment that government spending and initiatives to support these families can replace what neighbors, churches, and fellow citizens can do for one another.

Army wife Benita Koeman says, “I adopted a genuine ‘I can do this’ attitude about the second deployment. But I couldn’t do it alone, and most good intentions to help from the people we love fell by the wayside. As I struggled to take care of our young children (ages two, four and six years old), I felt alone and abandoned. At one point I bordered depression. I tried my best to smile, to fake like all was okay and to convince myself it was. But it wasn’t.”

The evidence for military families in need isn’t just anecdotal. A large-scale study published in January in the New England Journal of Medicine looked at electronic medical data for more than 250,000 of the nearly 300,000 women whose active-duty husbands were deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan from 2003 to 2006. The study found that 36.6 percent of women whose husbands had deployed had at least one mental-health diagnosis, such as depression, or an anxiety or sleep disorder

And let’s remember- these are just the results of those with official diagnoses. Many women resist seeking help for the same reason their husbands in uniform do—they fear a negative stigma.

“Besides fear for the safety of their loved ones, spouses of deployed personnel often face challenges of maintaining a household, coping as a single parent and experiencing marital strain due to a deployment-induced separation of an uncertain duration,” the study says.

Let’s face it. You don’t need a mental illness diagnosis to need a helping hand.

“I really needed signs to know that as I struggled, that people cared, cared enough to do something,” says Koeman. “But I did not get that.” As a result of her experience, she founded the Web site www.OperationWeAreHere.com, to serve as a clearinghouse of resources and ideas for how to support military families.

Please, don’t wait for a government initiative to do what anyone can and should do for one’s fellow American. Send a “reverse” care package to families of the deployed, remembering them on holidays, birthdays and anniversaries. Watch their kids so the solo-spouse at home can get a break every once in a while. Create a coupon booklet for free babysitting, a coffee date, financial counseling, running errands, an hour or two of housework, etc. Drop off a basket of favorite foods, movies or books. Find out what home appliance is broken (it never fails to happen during deployment) and help fix it. Rake leaves. Shovel snow. Clean out gutters. Pull weeds. Bring a meal, make a phone call… be there.

Supporting the military wife allows her to support her husband and children in a way that only she can. And knowing that his family is supported back home will allow the deployed spouse to better focus on his mission. When you minister to the military wives and children, you are supporting the troops as well.

Jocelyn Green is the author of Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives (Moody Publishers 2008) and co-author of Battlefields & Blessings: Stories of Faith and Courage from the War in Iraq & Afghanistan (AMG Publishers 2009).

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By Jocelyn Green

I’m not a betting sort of person, but if I were, I would put down money (plenty of it) on the fact that military families go through more “new beginnings” than just about any other group of people. Of course, maybe we don’t see it that way every time there is a PCS, deployment, or homecoming from deployment. Maybe we just see it as change. And change is hard.

Right now I’m reading a new book by Leeana Tankersley called Found Art: Discovering Beauty in Foreign Places (Zondervan). She wrote this memoir based on her first year of marriage to a Navy SEAL. They married in San Diego and eight days later forged a new beginning together in Saudi Arabia. Talk about change! I love how she describes it:

“Change is horribly uncomfortable. Like the wrong pair of jeans, change pinches and squeezes in the most inconvenient places. A lot of wriggling and writhing is involved. Maybe even some sucking in and prone posturing. Just when you think you’ve fit in, you realize you’re spilling over the top and sides in the worst way. Very, very little ease.” (Found Art, p. 19)

Strangely enough, even when the change will be good for us, it can still be hard. Remember the story about Moses calling down all sorts of awful plagues on Pharaoh in order to convince him to release the Jewish people from slavery? The second plague was frogs. Exodus 8 tells us that they came up out of the water and covered the land. Pharaoh pleaded with Moses to ask God to make them go away.

“Moses said to Pharaoh, ‘Be pleased to command me when I am to plead for you and for your servants and for your people, that the frogs be cut off from you and your houses and be left only in the Nile.’ And he said, ‘Tomorrow.’” (Exodus 8:9,10)

Tomorrow? Really? If it were me, I’m pretty sure I would have said, “Right now!” Wouldn’t you?

The Bible doesn’t tell us exactly why Pharaoh wanted to keep the swarming, slimy frogs around that night. Did he think they were cute?  The decision is shocking to me. But perhaps there is a lesson to be learned from the frogs and how they relate to the changes we need to make in our own lives.

How many times have you thought about a bad habit you’d like to break or a new discipline you’d like to develop in yourself, but decided to put it off? I know I’ve done this more often than I’d care to admit. For some reason, even if we know our habits (frogs) are bad for us, it’s easier to keep them around than to make a change. Maybe, just maybe, those little frogs start to seem like pets after a while. Could it be that after we’ve had our habits for some time, we don’t mind them anymore?

The new beginnings that happen to us, we can’t do much about. The new beginnings which happen within us, however—those are completely up to us.

If there’s something you need to change in your own life, don’t wait until next January rolls around to make a New Year’s resolution. Don’t spend one more night with the frogs, like Pharaoh did. Ask God to help you (claim Philippians 4:13!). Make that change and watch as a new beginning –a very positive one—emerges for you.

Jocelyn Green is the author of Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives (along with 14 contributing writers) and co-author of Battlefields & Blessings: Stories of Faith and Courage from the War in Iraq & Afghanistan. Visit her Web site and blog at www.faithdeployed.com.

by Jocelyn Green
Finally, you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Deployment is almost over! How do you prepare for the transition immediately following the homecoming reunion?

Former FRG leader Shasta Erts recommends this list of 37 things to keep in mind for that post-deployment transitional period. She received this from a group called Wives of Warriors at a PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel) event. Thanks for sharing, Shasta!

1. Normal has changed for everyone.
2. Be patient-it takes time to get into a routine.
3. Soldiers haven’t been on a vacation.
4. Expect your household to be different.
5. Keep life as simple as possible.
6. It takes time to re-adjust to one another.
7. Go slow.
8. Communicate feelings. Encourage them to share feelings, but give them space if they aren’t ready yet.
9. Anxiety is normal.
10. Discuss frustrations.
11. Accept that we are all different.
12. Take time to re-adjust.
13. Initial discomfort doesn’t mean your spouse is unhappy with you or the family.
14. Communicate ahead of your spouses return about radical changes in your physical appearance (once a red head now a blonde.)
15. Communicate about changes in discipline of the children.
16. Assume you’ve both been faithful to one another unless strong evidence indicates differently. Then seek wise counsel.
17. Be open about changes that have occurred in your life- spiritual –emotional- and physically.
18. Avoid the “who had it worse game.”
19. Be prepared that they may not want to go out much.
20. Try to avoid the tendency to overspend during this time. It will cause financial hardships that will add extra strain to your marriage.
21. Remember intimacy and sex are not the same thing. There can be an initial sense of awkwardness and plan may not be as romantic as you envisioned.
22. Accommodate-accommodate-accommodate. Meet small requests-like eating favorite food three times a day.
23. Listen-look-listen. Be aware of what’s going on.
24. Old problems don’t disappear. It you were having marital problems before he left, seek help.
25. Take time to share expectations and concerns before spouse returns home.
26. Soldiers sleeping patterns may vary.
27. Spouses may need space- let them have as much time as needed.
28. Let them quietly slip back into being dad. Don’t expect them to come home and immediately resume all of the discipline.
29. Realize we will never understand all our spouses have been through.
30. He will never understand totally what we have experienced as the head of the household.
31. Military spouses may have nightmares-don’t panic. If it appears to be long term, encourage them to seek help.
32. If a soldier doesn’t want to talk-don’t push.
33. Teens may feel displaced. They have had extra responsibility while dad has been gone. They may feel like they are giving up control.
34. Your children have probably been your sole focus while dad has been gone. Try to give them extra attention. Also, anticipate them (especially young children) not feeling comfortable sharing mom.
35. Dad may not feel comfortable babysitting. Give them space to adjust to new babies.
36. Remember reintegration for spouse and soldier is difficult, even for the strongest couples, try to focus on all the things you love about your spouse and not the things that bother you. If their habits bothered you before they left they will bother you ten fold when they return. Stay focused on the positive characteristics that make you love your spouse and let go of the small things that annoy you. They are not important. Having your spouse home alive and well is all that matters, everything else can be worked through. Don’t give up!
37. Just take it a day at a time and figure out where everything falls into place and move forward. It doesn’t have to be exactly like it was before, it can be different and better if you let it.

Jocelyn Green is the author of Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives and co-author of Battlefields & Blessings: Stories of Faith and Courage from the War in Iraq & Afghanistan. This post originally appeared on her blog at www.faithdeployed.com.

by Jocelyn Green, author of Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives

During the past few weeks, I have been signing dozens of books and shipping them off to many of you military wives who have ordered copies of Faith Deployed. It is my privilege to pray over you as I inscribe your name and a personal note in each book. But what can I say in such a small amount of space? There are so many things that I pray for all of you military wives. They are based on God’s Word, so I know that these prayers are God’s will for your lives, as well. Whether you are find yourself in a moment of calm or in the midst of a storm, below you will find my heart’s cry for each of you, along with the Scripture which inspired it.

May God be gracious to you and bless you, so that anyone who sees you will see the glory of the Lord.

“May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face shine upon us, that your ways may be known on earth, your salvation among all nations” (Psalm 67:1-2).

May God bless you with strength and peace.

“The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace” (Psalm 29:11).

May you feel God’s delight in you, and be comforted by his love.

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17).

“‘Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the LORD, who has compassion on you” (Isaiah 54:10).

May God be the strength of your heart when you feel you cannot carry on.

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26).

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).

May you not be weighed down with fear and riddled with worry.

“He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord” (Psalm 112:7).

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me” (Psalm 23:4).

May your sleep come easily and your slumber be peaceful.

“I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep; for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety” (Psalm 4:8).

May you choose hope over despair.

“Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5b).

May you rejoice in God’s faithful presence.

“Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me” (Psalm 139: 7-10).

May your confidence in God’s goodness never be shaken.

“I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD” (Psalm 27:13-14).

May you be supported by God’s people and guided by His Word.

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path” (Psalm 119:105).

About the Author:
Jocelyn Green is the author of Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives (Moody Publishers 2008) and co-author of Stories of Faith and Courage from the War in Iraq and Afghanistan (forthcoming, AMG Publishers fall 2009). She maintains a Web site and blog offering support and resources for military wives at www.faithdeployed.com and is an award-winning freelance writer who pens articles for dozens of magazines, nonprofits, universities and corporations. Her devotions also appear at christianmilitarywives.com, InternetCafeDevotions.com and ChristianDevotions.us. Jocelyn is an active member of the Evangelical Press Association and the Christian Authors Network. She and her husband have two children, a dog and a cat, and make their home in Cedar Falls, Iowa. For more about Jocelyn, visit www.jocelyngreen.com.

by Jocelyn Green

The Bible tells us that “The prayer of a righteous man [or woman] is powerful and effective” (James 5:16). So what are you praying for? Most, if not all of us pray for our husbands. But do you know exactly how to pray for your military man’s unique needs? I asked Chaplain (Capt.) Scott Koeman, currently in Afghanistan, for some specific things we can be praying for. Here is the insightful list he shared with me:

Pray that he would have the Peace of Christ with him — especially if he travels outside of his Forward Operating Base (FOB)

Pray that he will depend on the Love of God to keep him from bitterness at others (who needlessly make life difficult on their subordinates especially when they aren’t the most competent leader).

Pray for Protection. Psalm I25:2 “As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people both now and forevermore.”

Pray for that he will be vigilant if he is called upon to fire upon the enemy. Psalm 144:1-2 “Praise be to the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. He is my loving God and my fortress my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield, in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me.”

Pray that the enemy will be turned back. Psalm 40:14 “May all who seek to take my life be put to shame and confusion: may all who desire my ruin be turned back in disgrace.”

Pray that our Soldiers will be fulfilled in their jobs. Without purpose time out here is extremely long and difficult.

Pray that Soldiers/their husbands will resist lowering themselves to low levels of conversations and instead seek to be examples of goodness and righteousness.

Pray that Soldiers/husbands find “good and solid” Christian brothers to have fellowship with.

Pray for the leadership in Platoons, Companies, Battalions, Brigades ….depending on what level the Soldier/husband works. Leadership can make or break a man. They have the biggest impact.

Chaplain Koeman is married to Benita Koeman, founder of OperationWeAreHere.com, a clearinghouse of resources for the military community.

About the Author:
Jocelyn Green is the author of Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives (Moody Publishers 2008) and co-author of Stories of Faith and Courage from the War in Iraq and Afghanistan (forthcoming, AMG Publishers fall 2009). She maintains a Web site and blog offering support and resources for military wives at www.faithdeployed.com and is an award-winning freelance writer who pens articles for dozens of magazines, nonprofits, universities and corporations. Her devotions also appear at christianmilitarywives.com, InternetCafeDevotions.com and ChristianDevotions.us. Jocelyn is an active member of the Evangelical Press Association and the Christian Authors Network. She and her husband have two children, a dog and a cat, and make their home in Cedar Falls, Iowa. For more about Jocelyn, visit www.jocelyngreen.com.

by Jocelyn Green

In all my conversations with military wives, it seems one of the biggest trials of deployment is helping children cope. (Understandably so—it’s hard enough for adults to get through it!) Just last month, the Department of Defense released new research findings showing that the number of mental health visits by military children has doubled since the Iraq War first started, from 1 million to 2 million.

But don’t let those numbers make you feel helpless; you’re not. As moms, you can have the greatest positive influence on your children than anyone else in the world. Faith Deployed contributor and Navy Reserves wife Sara Horn recently wrote an article for cinchouse.com on the topic, where she shared these great ideas to help ease deployment blues for children:

“Write notes. Assuming there would be times when Cliff couldn’t call or write home on a regular basis, I bought some miniature note cards and asked him to write short little notes to Caleb that I could pull out and give him on especially hard days. The notes said things like “I love you monkey,” his pet name for our son, or “When I get home, we’ll go to a hockey game.” Though these notes didn’t replace his dad, they did help keep Caleb feeling close to him.

“Create a bulletin board. We put a large bulletin board over Caleb’s bed which had a map of Iraq and thumb tacks to mark the areas Cliff was in. Notes, letters and postcards went up there as well, including the bulldozer picture. Every night before Caleb went to sleep, he could look up at his board and remember how much his daddy loved him.

“Keep reminders close by. Right before Cliff left, I gave him and Caleb both dog tags that had special pictures printed on them. Caleb’s was a pic of he and his dad at a hockey game where we’d had a lot of fun. Any time he was really missing his dad, he would wear it to school. You could do the same for little girls, perhaps even using a locket in place of a dog tag. We also made a trip to the mall where Cliff recorded his voice in a special stuffed monkey made just for Caleb.

“Make special videos. One of our favorite ways Cliff stayed connected to Caleb was a series of short videos we recorded before he deployed. He did special messages for Caleb’s birthday, the last day of school, the first day of school and for times when Caleb might be sad. I played these at the appropriate times and Caleb loved being able to see his dad’s face and hear his voice.

“Pack care packages together. Let your children help put packages together. Ask them to draw pictures or write special letters. If you have older teens, ask them to write a family newsletter or make a special scrapbook to mail.” Read the original article in its entirety here.

For literally dozens of resources to help children cope with deployments, check out this resource page from OperationWeAreHere.com .  If you take the time to scroll through them all, I’m sure you’ll find several worth trying.

But to make things even easier, I’ve asked my friend Benita Koeman, founder and owner of the Web site, to recommend her Top 5 Resources for Kids out of that entire selection. Here’s what she said:

“My favorite books:

#1 We Serve Too! (deals with deployment)

#2 We Serve Too! 2 (deals with reunion)

both by Kathleen Edick and Paula J. Johnson. For more info on the books, visit the Web site.

Love the content, pictures are bright and captivating. Can’t say enough about these books!

#3 Flat Daddies I highly recommend for perhaps up to age 5 but beyond that maybe not – we don’t have one because I don’t want us to be seeing him big and huge on the wall and always thinking about him being gone; with little ones I think it’s great because you want them to remember Daddy and what he looks like.

#4 United Through Reading Military Program Last week we received a surprise DVD my husband sent…it was a video of him reading a story, holding up the book to the camera after he read each portion so we could see the pictures, and afterwards he talked for a bit. This was new for us…I highly recommend soldiers do this. Some USO’s offer this service, and most deploying installations offer this through their library. I will be having the kids go to the library and have a video recorded of them reading to Dad.

#5 Daddy Dolls or any other huggable doll or teddy bear that has the option of a voice recording. (For our family, instead of using Daddy Dolls, Dad took each of the kids on an outing to Build-a-Bear Workshop as a surprise, one at a time. It was his special time with each of the kids.) I love that they have something to hug and that they can hear Dad’s voice at their pleasure.

Each of our kids also has a cheap photo box from Michael’s. We plan to decorate it and put things in there that the kids want to save and show Dad when he gets back. (I got the idea from the Homecoming Box from the authors of the books listed above.) We also have a Deployment Journal that we made by decorating the cover of a cheap notebook to make it personal. I am trying to be disciplined in having the kids write or draw things in there to share with dad when he comes home. They will also use it to have a list of questions to ask Dad when he calls so we don’t have dead-end conversations. (There is a Deployment Journal for Kids, but I have not seen it yet.) 

I also recommend The Military Father: A Hands-on Guide for Deployed Dads by Armin A. Brott (former U.S. Marine), a new book that is very thorough in dealing with deployment for each age group and offers a lot of helpful advice.”

About the Author:
Jocelyn Green is the author of Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives (Moody Publishers 2008) and co-author of Stories of Faith and Courage from the War in Iraq and Afghanistan (forthcoming, AMG Publishers fall 2009). She maintains a Web site and blog offering support and resources for military wives at www.faithdeployed.com and is an award-winning freelance writer who pens articles for dozens of magazines, including Christianity Today, Today’s Pentecostal Evangel, InSite, EFCA Today, Baptist Bulletin, Campus Life, Today’s Christian, BestSemester and more. She also writes for nonprofits, universities and corporations such as Juicy Juice, Nestle, Publix and General Mills. Her devotions also appear at christianmilitarywives.com, InternetCafeDevotions.com and ChristianDevotions.us. Jocelyn is an active member of the Evangelical Press Association and the Christian Authors Network. She and her husband have two children, a dog and a cat, and make their home in Cedar Falls, Iowa. For more about Jocelyn, visit www.jocelyngreen.com.

by Jocelyn Green

Lately I’ve been collecting from military wives their favorite Bible verses which help them get through deployments. I’ve categorized them into topics of strength, fear, peace, trusting the Lord, hope, comfort and compassion, and Scriptures for the daily grind. I hope you’ll find some verses to uplift you within this list. Perhaps you’ll even decide to take your cue from military wife Sonja Mannarino and tape some of these up in key locations around your house. (Read Sonja’s story here.)

Scriptures of Strength
“Be strong and courageous, for the LORD will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1). 

^“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints” (Ephesians 6:10-18).

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

Scriptures on Fear
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me” (Psalm 23:4). Read the entire chapter here.  

“The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 27:1).

“When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?” (Psalm 56:3-4).

“He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord” (Psalm 112:7).

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).

“For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you” (Isaiah 41:13).

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God…” Isaiah 43:1b-3a.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:34).

 ”For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7).

 Scriptures of Peace
“I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep; for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety” (Psalm 4:8).

“You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal” (Isaiah 26:3-4).

 ^“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:4-7).

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid” (John 14:27).

 Scriptures on Trusting the Lord
“I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken” (Psalm 16:8).

 “I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD” (Psalm 27:13-14).

“If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the LORD, who is my refuge- then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone” (Psalm 91:9-12). Read the entire psalm here.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

“Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you” (Psalm 33:20-22).

“But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds” (Psalm 73:28).

Scriptures of Hope
“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” (Psalm 42:11).

“I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth” (Psalm 121:1-2). Read the entire psalm here.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart’” (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

“Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you” (Psalm 33:20-22).

“The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing” (Psalm 145:13b-16).

“We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many” (2 Corinthians 1:8-11).

“God has said, ’Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’” (Hebrews 13:5).

Scriptures of Comfort and Compassion
“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all” (Psalm 34:17-19).

“By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life” (Psalm 42:8).

“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling” (Psalm 68:5).

“Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble . . . May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us–yes, establish the work of our hands” (Psalm 90: 14-15, 17).

“The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing” (Psalm 145:13b-16).

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in Your Bottle. You have recorded each one in Your Book” (Psalm 56:8).

Scriptures for the Daily Grind
“ . . . May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other” (Genesis 31:49).

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth” (Psalm 46:10).

“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalms 118:24).

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24). Read the entire psalm here.

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever” (Matthew 6:9-13).

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” (Romans 12:12).

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).

“Love is patient and kind, always trusts, never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:4).

 “Three things will last forever—faith, hope and love—and the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13 NLT).

 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way” (James 1:2-4, The Message).

 “[God] has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time” (2 Timothy 1:9).

“Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me” (Psalm 139: 7-10). Read the entire psalm here.

About the Author:
Jocelyn Green is the author of Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives (Moody Publishers 2008) and co-author of Stories of Faith and Courage from the War in Iraq and Afghanistan (forthcoming, AMG Publishers fall 2009). She maintains a Web site and blog offering support and resources for military wives at www.faithdeployed.com and is an award-winning freelance writer who pens articles for dozens of magazines, including Christianity Today, Today’s Pentecostal Evangel, InSite, EFCA Today, Baptist Bulletin, Campus Life, Today’s Christian, BestSemester and more. She also writes for nonprofits, universities and corporations such as Juicy Juice, Nestle, Publix and General Mills. Her devotions also appear at christianmilitarywives.com, InternetCafeDevotions.com and ChristianDevotions.us. Jocelyn is an active member of the Evangelical Press Association and the Christian Authors Network. She and her husband have two children, a dog and a cat, and make their home in Cedar Falls, Iowa. For more about Jocelyn, visit www.jocelyngreen.com.

by Jocelyn Green

Many of you have probably been inspired by the movie Fireproof with Kirk Cameron. Perhaps you thought about buying the Love Dare book to try it on your own. But then, did the fact that your husband is deployed right now make you change your mind?

Thanks to the Web site ExcellentorPraiseworthy.com, you don’t have to wait until your husband is home to try the love dare. The people at ExcellentorPraiseworthy.com have adapted the book into 40 online chapters of a “Deployment Dare” — just for military couples during deployment. Suggestions are written for both the deployed member and the spouse at home, so either one can participate, as long as there is Internet access, but it’s not necessary for both to do it at the same time. It may be helpful to also have a copy of Love Dare, but not needed, so don’t let that stop you if you don’t have it!

Ready to give it a try? Visit the site and get started, either on your own, or with another wife as an accountability partner to help you really follow through with the challenges. You’ll see that the 40 Days were originally was posted back in January, but you can participate any time that works for you.

About the Author:
Jocelyn Green is the author of Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives (Moody Publishers 2008) and co-author of Stories of Faith and Courage from the War in Iraq and Afghanistan (forthcoming, AMG Publishers fall 2009). She maintains a Web site and blog offering support and resources for military wives at www.faithdeployed.com and is an award-winning freelance writer who pens articles for dozens of magazines, including Christianity Today, Today’s Pentecostal Evangel, InSite, EFCA Today, Baptist Bulletin, Campus Life, Today’s Christian, BestSemester and more. She also writes for nonprofits, universities and corporations such as Juicy Juice, Nestle, Publix and General Mills. Her devotions also appear at christianmilitarywives.com, InternetCafeDevotions.com and ChristianDevotions.us. Jocelyn is an active member of the Evangelical Press Association and the Christian Authors Network. She and her husband have two children, a dog and a cat, and make their home in Cedar Falls, Iowa. For more about Jocelyn, visit www.jocelyngreen.com.

by Jocelyn Green

Multitasking. It’s one of our greatest strengths (and necessities) as women, but it can also be a liability, can’t it? I mean, let’s be honest: we can only juggle so many things at once before we drop something. With the number of responsibilities the average military wife manages, it’s difficult not to feel overwhelmed. Time is our most precious commodity.

Today I was flipping through Carolyn Castleberry’s book, It’s About Time! 10 Smart Strategies to Avoid Time Traps and Invest Yourself Where it Matters. (Ironically, I don’t have time to read it from cover to cover.) A headline on page 47 grabbed my attention: “10 Baby Steps to Balancing Time.”

If you’ve ever seen the movie What About Bob? perhaps right now you are picturing in your mind Bill Murray shuffling around repeating to himself “Baby steps!” as if suddenly, he’s confident he can accomplish anything if he only breaks it down into the tiniest of tasks. I always laugh at that movie, but the “baby step” concept is pretty reasonable. Sometimes we can be paralyzed if we consider everything that must be done (or must be changed) at the same time. But if we tackle one small step at at time, we’ll make noticeable progress.

Here’s how Castleberry breaks down how to balance time:

Write goals for your life. “Know where you are headed, and you will stay on solid ground” (Prov. 4:26 CEV).

Learn to say no and when to say yes. [If you have an aversion to the "n-word," learn how to say no without saying no here.]

First thing in the morning, create a plan for the day.

Write your top goal for the day. This is your most important priority.

Be realistic about what can be accomplished in a given amount of time.

Prioritize other items on your to-do list.

Keep a schedule that works with your personality. [i.e. PDA, paper day planner, etc.]

Schedule exercise. If you don’t, it’s likely you won’t “just do it” at all.

Schedule rest days. Yes, I’m serious.

Schedule fun times with family and friends. You know what they say about all work. that means you too, stay-at-home moms!

Castleberry goes on in the chapter to encourage readers to write a mission statement to help clarify what we want our ultimate purpose in life to be. It doesn’t need to be complicated–one of Nike’s mission statements was simply “Crush Reebok.” Mine is: “To know and love God and give myself fully to the ministries he has gifted me with.” My ministries will change according to my season of life. Right now my most critical role is that of wife and mother, and my writing and speaking are secondary to that. Perhaps later when my kids are older, God will have something else in store for me.

To help you create your own personal mission statement, answer as briefly as possible the following three questions:

1. What is it that I love to do?

2. What brings me the most joy?

3. What do I absolutely know I have to do before leaving this earth?

Now use your answers to help you write your simple mission statement. Pray over it for a while and revise if necessary.

Now maybe you’re thinking that most people in the world don’t have a personal mission statement, so what’s the point. Right? Here’s the point: if you know where you’re going, you can:

• write goals for your life
• learn when to say no and when to say yes
• create a plan for the day
• designate your top goal for the day
• prioritize other items on the to-do list

And suddenly, you are baby stepping your way to balancing time! In other words, your mission statement reminds you where you are going. It can guide all your decisions about how and where you spend your time.

I would love to hear some of your mission statements, so please share! Don’t worry, these aren’t set in stone, you can change them as you need to. But this was a valuable exercise for me and I think it might be for you, too.

About the Author:
Jocelyn Green is the author of Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives (Moody Publishers 2008) and co-author of Stories of Faith and Courage from the War in Iraq and Afghanistan (forthcoming, AMG Publishers fall 2009). She maintains a Web site and blog offering support and resources for military wives at www.faithdeployed.com and is an award-winning freelance writer who pens articles for dozens of magazines, including Christianity Today, Today’s Pentecostal Evangel, InSite, EFCA Today, Baptist Bulletin, Campus Life, Today’s Christian, BestSemester and more. She also writes for nonprofits, universities and corporations such as Juicy Juice, Nestle, Publix and General Mills. Her devotions also appear at christianmilitarywives.com, InternetCafeDevotions.com and ChristianDevotions.us. Jocelyn is an active member of the Evangelical Press Association and the Christian Authors Network. She and her husband have two children, a dog and a cat, and make their home in Cedar Falls, Iowa. For more about Jocelyn, visit www.jocelyngreen.com.