Renewing Your Mind

Do you struggle with Anxiety? I want to encourage you that you are not alone. It is more common than people realize. First we want to look at what anxiety is before we can address how to deal with anxiety. A summarized definition of anxiety is: Having a uneasy, overwhelmed, apprehensive, fearful, concerned, and worrisome state of mind with the feeling of inadequacy to cope.

Anxiety also affects us internally to where we can become physically ill if untreated. There are different levels of anxiety but we will be dealing with anxiety in general. If you feel you are dealing with severe anxiety I encourage you to see a doctor who can give you a full diagnosis.
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Luke 10:38-42
“Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’* feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” And Jesus* answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” NKJV

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Dedicated to My Father, My Husband, and My God

My father was a First Sergeant in the Marine Corps, serving in the Vietnam War. He came home with wounds and purple hearts to show for it.

I was born during that time in November of 1967. He was there a few days after I was born but had to return to Vietnam shortly after. He may have come home another time when I was very little, but I don’t remember. I remember seeing him for the first time when I was about five years old. Read the rest of this entry »

You are Valuable!

Deuteronomy 7:6-7

“For you are a holy people to the Lord your God; the Lord your God has chosen you to be a people for Himself, a special treasure above all the peoples on the face of the earth. The Lord did not set His love on you nor choose you because you were more in number than any other people, for you were the least of all peoples; but because the Lord loves you.” NKJV

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There is a great confusion about what is considered grief and loss these days. Unfortunately the miss-understanding of grief and loss leaves people feeling depressed, anxiety filled and alone and they don’t understand what’s happening to them.
I remember when I lost my father six years ago, a month later I thought something was wrong with me because I couldn’t think straight, my thoughts were all jumbled and didn’t know what was going on. A friend of mine who also counsels explained to me that it was part of the grieving process and I was comforted to know I wasn’t losing my mind, at least not yet< Read the rest of this entry »

Spending quiet time means to set aside time alone with God.  It is time well spent that is dedicated to drawing closer and more intimate in your personal relationship with Jesus Christ through His Word and Prayer by faith.

It is the same concept when spending time with a friend.  The more you spend time with that person the better you get to know them and the more intimate you become. 

It is no different with God.  God knows His children but it is important for His Children to get to know Him more intimately.  Also, the more we as His children know Him through His Word the more we know who we are in Him as our identity because our identity is now in Christ.   

Whether it is 10 minutes or 30 minutes doesn’t matter, what matters is that you make the time and be consistent in doing it everyday.  Making the time is important because it sets a foundation for your walk and relationship with God. 

I put together some tips that I personally use and hope that you will be blessed.  You can change it; adapt it to your own quiet time or whatever you wish to do.  This is simply a guide to give you some direction if you are new to Christianity or just needing some added tips to your own quiet time. 

Here they are as follows:

Prepare:  Spending quiet time will take some preparation on your part.  You will need to answer some important questions; What time is best for you to have your quiet time?  What place is best for you to read and pray that is private?  What resources will you need for your quiet time?  Take some time to think and plan out making time with God and you will most likely be more consistent doing it. 

Plan Ahead:  A suggestion would be to plan ahead of time what you will need for your quiet time.  To get either a basket or box that will fit your bible, pen or pencil, note pad or journal, daily devotional, bible dictionary, Webster’s dictionary or bible commentary.  These are all suggestions but bible pen and paper are a definite must. 

Pray:  I encourage you to pray through out the day but for your quiet time it is good to pray specific.  Pray for God to speak to you in your time with Him and your time in His Word and believe by faith He will answer you. 

Passage & Scripture Reading:  Whether it is a daily devotional, reading a chapter in the bible or a scripture reference book.  Whatever the Lord is putting on your heart to read, is good as long as you have a scripture or passage in God’s word.   
a) Read the particular passage.
b) Read the particular passage in context.  Which means, to read the entire chapter to fully understand why the passage is there and what it means
c) See if there are any specific words that speak to you in that passage, like love, faith, or doubt, etc… make note of that as possibly your theme for the day and passage
d) Feel free to look up definitions of those words to add some depth. &nbsp;<br />&nbsp;<br />e) Look up cross-references and possible summary of passage if possible.

Journal:  Write down the passage or scripture that speaks to you, what it means and what it is speaking to you personally and your own personal thoughts. 

Ponder the Lesson:  Take a moment to ponder the passage you are reading and what God is speaking to you about in that particular lesson and then ask God to help you receive it in your heart and mind and give you full understanding of it’s meaning.   

Personal Application:  Find out what this particular lesson is speaking to you personally and how you can apply it to your life today. Journal that also. 

Personal Prayer:  Pray and ask God to help you not only receive the personal message God has given you but also the power to apply it to your life today by faith.  

Praise Him:  Praise God for His faithfulness and thank God for all that He is and all He does and has done in your life and the life of others.  
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Prayer Time:  If time permits or you are led to pray and intercede, take a moment and ask God to put people or situations on your heart to pray for and He is faithful to answer that prayer.  Don’t forget to close in prayer. 

When the Lord gives me a message or lesson for the day, I ponder and meditate on that lesson, message or particular scripture throughout the day so that it will be written on my heart and mind and hopefully memorized by the end of the day and am able to apply it. 

I hope these tips will help give you a jump start to do your own quiet time and deepen your relationship with Christ even more.  Blessings!  

Filoiann Wiedenhoff is a Pastor’s Wife, Work at Home Mom, Woman’s Biblical Counselor, Bible Teacher and Writer.  You can visit her website and sign up for her monthly newsletter on http://www.filoiannwiedenhoff.com/

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Ah Easter, one of my favorite holidays of the year. We love Easter because it is not only one of the most spiritual holidays but a time for reflection and family to come together. It is a remembrance of Jesus rising from the dead, known as His Resurrection.

Most of us who have grown up in church have been taught the resurrection and the significance of why he rose from the dead, but what most people may fail to recognize in this very important event was His main purpose for doing it.

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Having a New Perspective

I can share a personal experience with you to help you understand what disappointment can mean and also how it can affect you personally deeper than you know.

A couple years ago when we were starting our new church plant in San Diego we promoted it, invited all of our family and friends and on that day we had over 100 people in attendance for our opening day church service. It was wonderful and turned out better than we could have expected.

My husband and I were definitely on a spiritual high feeling victory that our church plant was going to go smooth with no problems. NOT!!! The following Sunday our church attendance was nine people and all of them were part of our team that came with us.

Needless to say, my husband seemed fine but I was disappointed. I felt defeated and it was only the second Sunday of our church plant. At that moment you don’t know how to feel and you are left with two choices, give up or move on. We chose to move forward by faith because we believe that God has called us there and regardless if there is one person or 1000, if God has called us we need to be obedient to Him.

Our Faith kept us going and I am happy to report that our church is growing and thriving. Praise the Lord. Had we of quit we would not be seeing the blessings we are now and we have learned some valuable lesson through it.

You see my problem was I had expectations’ that weren’t realistic. I thought it would be a peace of cake to start a church plant and that it would just grow magically. I learned a valuable lesson, which was that my expectations were not based on fact or reality but my own thoughts and opinions and it was a hard lesson but it opened my eyes.

I put together some tips on how to deal with disappointment and hope it helps you as it did me. The definition of disappointment is, "The state of having a feeling or emotion of being defeated in an expectation or a hope." In looking at this definition helps us to learn how to deal with disappointment.

1. Re-Evaluate your Expectations: Are your expectations realistic? Or do they set you up for disappointment? Having un-realistic expectations will disappoint you every time.

2. Be willing to Drop Some Expectations: There are some expectations that are not worth having at all. As you look again at your situation be honest and ask yourself if you are having an expectation that is selfish, petty or unrealistic. If so, you are only hurting yourself by keeping them and should let them go.

3. Be Flexible: Learn from your mistakes and be willing to change your point of view about your situation that is realistic and considers the good as well as the bad and keep in mind what matters most.

One of the first exercises my husband and I give to couples in pre-marital counseling is to write down all of their expectations about the other person and then we have them read their list out loud and then tear it up and throw the list away. People don’t like this exercise very much because we are forcing them to get rid of their expectations of the other person, but it is an important one to learn and could save them a lot of grief after they get married.

We do this because it is normal for every person to have an ideal spouse in their mind of what they will be like and how they will act. It can come from their up bringing or what they have learned along the way, television or by what they have read of what a spouse is supposed to be like and act like. They then naturally bring those expectations into their marriage and right away they become immediately disappointed that their expectations are not being met.

Unfortunately it happens a lot in marriages and is more common than people realize and people wonder why they are having arguments and problems the first year of their marriage.

Sometimes when I counsel women who go through similar issues, I tell them to not be so hard on themselves and they won’t be hard on others. It’s a trickle down affect that occurs when people place hard or un-realistic expectations on themselves and then will naturally place those same expectations on others.

The worst part of this scenario is that when the person is working extra hard to fulfill these un-realistic expectations for themselves they expect others to do it too and they are constantly disappointed that others are not fulfilling their part. So in this scenario re-evaluate your own expectations of your self and see if you need to let go of them so that you can be freed from your own disappointment and not place that same expectations on others.

We encourage couples to not go into their marriage with expectations on their spouse but to get to know and accept their spouse for who they are and work together in accomplishing their goals and dreams together using their gifts and talents they both have.

Don’t get me wrong we also go over the roles of the husband and the roles of the wife with these couples but roles are responsibilities that are given to fulfill their role as the husband or the wife and not "personal" expectations. It’s important to know the difference.

My husband always says, "If you don’t have expectations you won’t be disappointed." It’s true. We deal with our ministry the same way. It is what it is and we have to be willing to work with what we have to make it better and not focus on what it isn’t or what we don’t have but enjoy and be blessed with what God is doing.

The only expectation we have now is that God is faithful and He will do it. It may not be how we expect Him to or when we expect Him to but He does it in His perfect way and in His perfect time. His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways!

So if you are dealing with disappointment, take a moment to evaluate your expectations and be willing to make the necessary changes that will lift anything that may be keeping you down or others down. Sometimes our worst enemy is our own self. I hope these helps will give you something to work with when dealing with disappointment.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Filoiann M. Wiedenhoff is a Pastor’s Wife; Work from Home Mom, Woman’s Biblical Counselor, Bible Teacher and Christian Author. Shc writes Christian literature to help ignite, inspire and empower believers into living godly lives that glorify God. You can also visit her website www.filoiannwiedenhoff.com.

Having a New Perspective

Philippians 3:12-14
"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." NIV

My best friend and I have this tradition we do every year for the last five years usually around the end of December. We go to our favorite beach spot, where we talk and pray about the past year and look ahead to the New Year.

We ponder and discuss all the interesting occurrences that have happened over the past year; the good times, the bad times, the frustrating times and also the fun times. We share what valuable lessons we learned from our experiences, what God showed us and how He was faithful through all of it

We do this as a closure to one year and then an opening to the next. After we have laughed a while and then cried, we begin to look forward with great excitement, wondering what God has for us this coming new year. What new experiences will we go through and what new lessons will we learn. It’s all fresh and new and that is exciting.

In doing this I believe it helps us to view each year as a season, understanding that God is Sovereign and has new seasons of experiences and growth to make us more like Christ. I can testify there were times we went through seasons of grief and there were also times we experienced seasons of joy.

It helps me to remember that God is in total control and that we are constantly growing as His children and that He knows the plans He has for us. Plans of new wisdom, insight and understanding that He wants to impart to us, if we will allow Him to.

It also gives us a fresh new outlook of the coming year and enables us to leave the past where it belongs, not that we forget the past but learn from it and move forward into our present future with opened hearts and minds to receive whatever God has for us.

With that said, I put together eight ways we can view the New Year and every year as.

A Year of:

1. New Beginnings: Start out the New Year with a fresh point of view to new experiences, memories and blessings. Having an opened mind and heart to where ever the Lord may take you with full assurance and confidence that He is with you. (Matthew 28:19-20)

2. New Possibilities: There’s no limit to what God can do in your life and nothing is impossible with God. God opens doors that no man can shut and also closes doors that no man can open. The possibilities are endless with God that is according to His will. (Philippians 4:13)

3. New Plans: Every year is a new season, be prayerful of what God has planned for you and be willing to walk by faith in obedience as you follow His leading. Remember that His plans are always for good and not for evil to give you a future and a Hope. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

4. New Purpose: As you forge ahead, God always has a plan and a purpose for what you will go through and experience. Remember that God always has a reason for what He allows in your life and through it you can trust Him completely. (Proverbs 1:3-5)

5. New Provisions: The bible says to not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough worries of its own. Trust in your Heavenly Father who knows everything you need, who is your God and your Provider. He is faithful and He will do it. (Matthew 6:1-33)

6. New Growth: When we are willing to let go and let God work in us and through us, He will always stretch us and grow us. It is an important part of the growth process. Continue to grow in your relationship with Him and in His Word. Pray for God to mold you and make you pliable in the potters hand and then watch the master craftsman work on His masterpiece; which is you!

7. New Wisdom: With new experiences and new lessons come new wisdom and insight. Always make it a priority to seek out wisdom as hidden treasure or fine gold. In Proverbs it says that it will be like a garland of grace around your neck and honor you and present you with a crown of splendor. (Proverbs 4:7-9)

8. Renewed Peace: As you go through new experiences and new adventures whether they are good or bad, my encouragement is to keep your eyes fixed on Christ and He will give you rest and peace, because He is our peace and loves you and cares for you deeply. (John 16:33)

Keep in mind that if even the wicked give good gifts to their children how much more will your Heavenly Father give to those that ask Him? (Matthew 7:7-11) Let us give thanks to the Lord for getting us through another year as we look forward to what He has for us up ahead and praise Him that He is faithful and worthy to be praised!

Our God is an Awesome God
Who Reigns on Heaven and Earth
With Wisdom Power and Love
Our God is an Awesome God!

May the Lord bless you and your family with a blessed New Year!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Filoiann M. Wiedenhoff is a Pastor’s Wife; Work from Home Mom, Woman’s Biblical Counselor, Bible Teacher and Christian Author. Shc writes Christian literature to help ignite, inspire and empower believers into living godly lives that glorify God. You can also visit her website www.filoiannwiedenhoff.com.

Making Christmas a Time of Remembrance

If you are like me the holidays can be a blessing but they also can be stressful, anxiety filled and very busy.

As a CWAHM and Pastor’s Wife, I literally have to sit and try to remember all the things I need to do in preparing for family to come over, cleaning the house, take care of church business and our plans for Christmas Eve service, writing the menu for Christmas dinner, try to finish all my home business work, in between shopping, shopping and more shopping.

Sometimes I wish we had eight arms and hands like an Octopus that could do multi-tasking simultaneously. Hey wait a minute….we already do?

We’re wives, moms, worker bees, nurses, secretaries, accountants, chefs, house keepers, counselors, disciplinarians, taxi cab drivers, sometimes bus driver’s and professional shoppers. Whew! What a list.

So how do we deal with the holiday hoopla added on top of that oh so crazy list? I came up with some helpful tips to make Christmas a time of remembrance:

1. Remember What Matters Most: In all our busyness we can be taken away from what really matters. Take a moment to reflect on your priorities which are Christ first, family, career etc… Try not to focus on things that just are not important and focus on the things that are.

2. Remember That it’s Not About the Presents: A great way to honor Christ this Christmas and at the same time teach your children the true meaning of Christmas is to share the birth of Jesus story with them, and then take them to the store and let them pick out brand new toys to donate to needy children or families. Make it a memorable and enjoyable experience and they will want to do it more often!

3. Remember Those That Are Lonely & Hurting: Christmas is also one of the most depressing holidays, for people who have lost a loved one, are lonely, hurting or ill. Please look around in your own sphere of influence and say a prayer, make a call or take over a meal or small gift to a friend or family member who needs your love or comfort and more importantly need God’s love through you. If you are one that is hurting this season, please call someone to pray for you, you are not alone and people care about you and would love to encourage and comfort you during this difficult time.

4. Remember the Soldiers: Let us also remember the soldiers that have lived and died honorably for the sake of peace. Please lift them up and their families for strength, comfort and peace.

5. Remember What Jesus Did For You: Christmas is a time of reflection on the real reason Christ was born and how His life as well as His death was a sacrifice for us. Remember back what your life was like before you received Him and reflect on how He has blessed you abundantly since that life changing day.

By remembering all the blessings Jesus has done for us and at the same time reaching out to others, we are commemorating His birth and honoring His life and allowing Christ’s Life to live in us and through us. It is a heritage to be carried on from generation to generation. May your Christmas be blessed and stressed free! From our family to yours!

Special Quote:

Yesterday was History, Tomorrow is a Mystery

but Today is a Gift and that is why they call it the Present!

Author Unknown.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Filoiann M. Wiedenhoff is a Pastor’s Wife; Work from Home Mom, Woman’s Biblical Counselor, Bible Teacher and Christian Author. Shc writes Christian literature to help ignite, inspire and empower believers into living godly lives that glorify God. You can also visit her website www.filoiannwiedenhoff.com.