Mom Humor by Cheryl Moeller

… Your only friends are the clerks at the grocery store and the receptionist at your pediatrician.

… Your dinner consists of leftovers taken off everyone else’s plates.

… You can change a toddler’s diaper while he is doing cartwheels.

… You add baby formula to the mashed potatoes to avoid going to the store for another gallon of milk.

… You spend your birthday money on a kit to remove your own ear wax.

… You have to get up at 3:00 Am to take a hot bath and actually enjoy talking to the floating plastic penguins your daughter left.

… You celebrate finding the last clean diaper like most people celebrate finding a winning lottery ticket.

… You aren’t happy when your husband cleans out the car because you’ve now lost everything you own.

… You do get a night out at a fine restaurant you still try and order spaghettios with meatballs.

… You are happy if someone makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, for you.

… You once lived on your couch for 24 hours without getting up.

… You call your husband, dad, because, well, everyone else in the house does…

… Your kids bounce, off the ceilings, instead of off the walls.

… Your flip flops are both lefties and you can still chase your child down the driveway in less than 3.5 seconds.

… You hear your daughter say, “When I grow up, I want to be a mother, only I’ll think I’ll still comb my hair.”