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Archive for Moments for Mom
Moments for Mom: July 2011
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“Children are resilient.” I have heard this a thousand times. I have said this a thousand times. I no longer buy it.
My parents divorced when I was young and I was told from early on that I was “mature for my age”. I look back and can see that was not the case. I may have learned to stuff my feelings. I may have learned how to interact with adults more easily than kids because I was around more adults than kids. I may have not acted out in rebellious ways as a teenager. But my parents’ divorce, when I was about three, shaped me. Read More→
Moments for Mom: June 2011
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My daughter came home with her freshman course schedule this week. I almost fainted. I am in complete and utter denial that Sara is going into high school. My son likes to point out that she’ll be able to get her driver’s permit this year. He does that to watch me either tear up or freak out, depending on my mood.
I do not have young children anymore. And there are days when I barely even remember what having young children feels like. Read More→
Moments for Mom: May 2011
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Mothers do not come in one shape or one size. There’s my mother by birth, who loves me like no one else ever has or ever will, and I am so grateful for her. I think that she thinks I walk on water, and who doesn’t need at least one person to believe in you like that? I have a stepmother, who has been a friend to me since I was ten or eleven years old and who has taught me so much. I have an aunt who filled in the gaps when my Dad moved out of state when I was a little girl, who shared her faith with me along the way and is one of my dearest friends to this day. I have a mother-in-law who has loved my kids so very well since the day they were born. And I have a mentor who calls me her birdie and pours into me as if I’m one of her own daughters. Read More→
Moments for Moms: April 2011
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I’m sure that everyone has heard the African proverb by now that “it takes a village to raise a child.” I am finding this to be true in new ways lately. I am grateful that I am surrounded by people who love me and who love my children and I am currently tapping into that extra love to help my kids through our difficult season.
I used to be the kind of mom that felt threatened when others offered help or advice as if I weren’t a good enough mother in my own right. But now, I look around my life and see my vulnerable areas, and I can sense the gaps where I’m not able to fill in what they both need. So, now instead of recoiling or getting defensive, I not only embrace offers of help, I’m out there asking for it. Read More→
Moments for Mom: March 2011
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My family is going through a difficult time right now. Well, better put, I’ve made some choices that are affecting my children. They seem to be weathering things okay but they also could be little codependents just putting on an act so I don’t feel guilty. Only time will tell.
But one thing I’m trying to get through my thick head is that I, as Mom, apparently set the emotional tenor of my home, as do you, sweet fellow mothers. “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy” rings truer than any of us mamas want to admit. I don’t want to believe that my mood affects anyone but me, but it completely does, especially my kids.
Moments for Mom: January 2011
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Another year has gone by. Another year is starting. Our children are another year older. (As are we, but we won’t gothere today.)
There’s something about January that always makes me want to wipe the slate clean. I want to clean out my closets – physically, emotionally, relationally and spiritually. I want to take stock. I want to see what’s accumulated – what I want to get rid of and never have to deal with again, and what I want to remember and reminisce about and be grateful for.
Here are some thoughts on how you can do just that in each area of your life.
Physically:
- Think about what you eat and don’t eat on a daily basis, then decide now to make one small change this month.
- Think about what kinds of exercise you currently get and what you really enjoy doing.
- Think about how you can incorporate more enjoyable exercise into your life.
- Go through your clothing and donate all you no longer wear.
- With your kids, go through their toys and donate all they no longer use.
Emotionally:
- Ask yourself the following questions in a journal:
- What was the biggest contributor to your personal growth?
- What was the biggest blunder you committed?
- What caused your greatest sadness?
- What was your greatest joy?
- How do you feel you handled and expressed your emotions this year? Any changes you need to make?
Relationally:
- Ask yourself the following questions in a journal:
- Who were the most stimulating people in your life (and why)?
- What were your most significant family moments?
- What one intentional act can you do to specifically build into each member of your family this year?
- Who brings joy to you life when you are with them? Plan to spend more time with them.
- Who depletes you when you are with them? Can you spend a bit less time with them this year?
- Is there someone who needs more of you in their lives? Find ways to give of yourself.
Spiritually:
- Ask yourself the following questions in a journal:
- What was your most meaningful spiritual experience?
- What ways do you best experience the presence of God? Make sure you’re making space in your life for those activities.
- How can you incorporate more gratitude, worship, time in God’s word and conversational prayer into your daily life?
My hope is not that you feel overwhelmed by this list, but that God will guide you to a handful of questions that will stir your heart wherever you are at this season in your life, so that He can draw you closer to Him.
Happy 2011, ladies. May God fill your heart, mind and home with His peace this year.
© Elisabeth K. Corcoran, 2011
Elisabeth is the author of He Is Just That Into You: Stories of a Faithful God who Pursues, Engages, and Has No Fear of Commitment (WinePress), In Search of Calm: Renewal for a Mother’s Heart (Xulon), and Calm in My Chaos: Encouragement for a Mom’s Weary Soul (Kregel). All of her books can be purchased on Amazon or through her website at www.elisabethcorcoran.com.
Moments for Mom: December 2010
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Moments for Mom
Elizabeth K. Corcoran,
Author of He Is Just That Into You
For various reasons, my holiday season is going to look nothing like my past several holiday seasons. I’m going through a personal crisis, one side of the family is dealing with the death of a loved one this year, and the other side of the family is navigating some central relationships that are struggling. Add to that, I’m not even hosting Christmas (long, long story) this year, a decision made about five minutes after last year’s Christmas party. So this December looks different, and already feels different.
I could’ve taken two possible approaches. There was the woe-is-me/bah-humbug approach, where I would decide to not put up Christmas decorations and curl up in a ball until sometime in mid-January. And then there was the let’s-look-at-this-as-an-opportunity approach, where this season unfolds like a blank slate and I could dig in and re-evaluate what really means something to me and what can fall away without being missed.
So a few days ago, my kids and I sat down. We wrote out everything we do from Thanksgiving through Christmas every year, and then we wrote down what was going to make this year different – what events and traditions we knew just weren’t going to take place. It was sobering, I have to say. The three main events that we participate in, that have been years-long traditions, aren’t happening, and it is sad, and some grieving needs to take place. Read More→
Moments for Mom: November 2010
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Moments for Mom
Elisabeth K. Corcoran,
Author of He Is Just That Into You
I have green eyes. My daughter has green eyes. My husband has brown eyes. My son has brown eyes. I am sarcastic. My daughter is sarcastic. My husband likes computer games and sports. My son likes computer games and sports. I have an anger issue. My son has an anger issue (though not as looming as mine, thankfully).
Some things, we’re thrilled to pass on to our kids, like the pearl ring my mom gave me for my sixteenth birthday, or my love of reading and writing. Some things, like my height (or lack thereof actually) and my anger, I’d wish would skip a few generations or drop out of my gene pool entirely. But they didn’t.
Moments for Mom: October 2010
Posted by: | CommentsA few things have converged in my 12-year-old son’s life over the past couple months. Back in the spring, he and I began reading Take Your Best Shot by then-nine-year-old Austin Gutwein, the story of a boy who decided he didn’t want to wait until he was all grown up to do something big for God. Then Jack decided he wanted to attend a Christian school and after a few months of praying and investigating, we moved forward with that decision. In doing so, I found out that Jack would have assignments to complete before school started up again. Yay – SUMMER homework! But part of his homework was to read and report on a book called Just Like Jesus by Max Lucado and the Spirit used it to work on both of our hearts. One reading in particular really got to Jack. It was Mr. Lucado’s take on what the leper must’ve felt who was healed by Jesus. Jack wrote in his notes that it reminded him of being at Feed My Starving Children earlier that day.
Jack had gone with some friends for a packing session earlier that day, where they packed meals for children in third-world countries. While we were reading Just Like Jesus that night, he said, “Did you know that for only ten dollars, you could feed two children for a month?” “I didn’t know that, bud…that’s amazing,” I said.
And then I could tell his mind was going. We’d been kicking around the idea for months of ways he could use his love of basketball to raise money for Africa, like Austin Gutwein did, and those books and that day’s packing session all came together for him. Read More→
Moments for Mom – August 2010
Posted by: | CommentsI tend to see the frustrating things in my kids…the things I think need changing…the things that I’m mad at myself for not being more consistent about. One example is I’ve noticed that with summer comes a lot more together time for them, and so their bickering has upped itself quite a bit. They have this thing where they insult each other, sometimes for real, sometimes tongue-in-cheek, and it drives me crazy.
So I’ve instituted that every time I hear them say something unkind, that person has to say something kind in its place. It’s been working…sort of. Jack isn’t Sara’s biggest fan. Asking him to compliment her is like asking him to wear a dress to basketball practice. This was his highest form of flattery to date that he could muster up for his big sister, after he had just slammed her, let me point out: “Your glasses seem to fit well.” It gets better. Not only does he struggle with complimenting her, he can’t stand when she says something nice about or to him (kinda weird). The other day she said his shirt looked good on him and he replied, “Now you have to say something mean to balance it out.” Unbelievable.
But I digress ever so slightly. My point being, I focus on the negatives. But I was sharing a few stories about my kids with a new friend and she said, “How have you gotten your kids to turn out like that?” The question surprised me. I don’t think I have gotten them to turn out quite yet, for one thing. But for another thing, I forget the good. I don’t see it, I don’t acknowledge it. Read More→
