CWAHM Devotional

Do Life DifferentDo Life Different
Work-at-home mom: take a deep breath and Do Life Different as you allow these devotions for work-at-home moms to fill the vacuum of your needy heart in the chaos of your busy world.
Order Your Copy!

CWAHM Video Devotions

Follow Us

Archive for Just for Her


Some Thoughts on Power, Prayer, and Pleasing

Posted by: | Comments Comments Off on Some Thoughts on Power, Prayer, and Pleasing

Pam Bass, When Marriage Matters bloggerSome Thoughts on Power, Prayer, and Pleasing by Pam BassI’ve been reading in 2 Chronicles lately, through my daily bible reading plan. It always amazes me amidst all the wars and violence of the Old Testament there are verses tucked away that speak to me. One verse in ch. 25 is, v. 2: “Amaziah did what was pleasing in the Lord’s sight, but not wholeheartedly.”  It appears he started off well, but it didn’t stick. [he didn’t finish well?] He did seek God via a prophet and in verse 9b it states: “The man of God replied, “the Lord is able to give you much more than this!” But it seems that God’s abundance wasn’t enough for him. His son Uzziah then becomes king at age 16 and “He did what was pleasing in the Lord’s sight, just as his father, Amaziah, had done.” He rebuilt towns, he sought God, and listened to Zechariah, who instructed him in the fear of the Lord. And as long as the king sought the Lord, God gave him success.” (v26:4-5).

What’s amazing is I think we’re a lot like him: we start off well in our marriages, saying to ourselves, ‘I’m gonna be respectful, wise, kind, and loving; I’m gonna be the modern version of the Proverbs 31 lady”. And bless our hearts, we try and try. But then he does something stupid or unkind, or totally thoughtless, etc. and we stop trying. We stop seeking God on our marriage, on ourselves. We think, ‘well, he’s not doing his part, I’ll just quit doing my part and wait for him. After all, he’s supposed to be the leader (head) of our family. This is not good, ladies.

Read More→

Comments Comments Off on Some Thoughts on Power, Prayer, and Pleasing

Loving Your Unlovable Spouse

Posted by: | Comments Comments Off on Loving Your Unlovable Spouse

meT2gaeNow there’s a catchy title, huh? I’m sure no one has an unlovable spouse now, do they? Well, hopefully not, right? Because this is where the rubber meets the road in marriage: learning to give love, respect and grace to another human being when they are NOT particularly giving those things to me in return.

Let me ask you this question: Do you REACT or RESPOND when your husband acts unkind, or says something that really hurts you? I know I reacted (and usually quite strongly) in the first 10 years of my marriage. I was usually thinking about getting my “rights” or making sure he knew what I was thinking or feeling about whatever topic we were discussing. I’ve learned the hard way that my reactions are not good for anyone really! Not for my husband or sons. I’ve also learned that my responses can come from God: I can hit the PAUSE button and THINK first before saying something unkind in return. I think a lot of marital disagreements and fights would not even start if I learn to practice a godly response.

Perhaps you’re familiar with the passage in Scripture (Matthew 5) where it states, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy’. But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ….”. Jesus goes on to say, “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?” It is so easy to love when “I’m feeling it” or when you’re doing something I want you to do. But what do I do when that isn’t happening? Do I pout, get demanding, or sulk? Or do I talk it over with our God, who has both of our best interests in His Mind?

1 Peter 3:9: “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” This can be so hard! This verse one ups it even more: I’m to bless the person who is hurting me! Ouch!

Talk about hard! Especially when my emotions are going full force (is there any other way ladies?) this will taken herculean effort on my part to go to Jesus, calm myself and respond in a way that honors God and the person.

Read More→

Comments Comments Off on Loving Your Unlovable Spouse

New Beginnings

Posted by: | Comments Comments Off on New Beginnings

Pam Bass, When Marriage Matters bloggerNew Beginnings, by Pam BassAnother season of school has started and I don’t know about you, but I have parent-teacher conferences this week. This event may bring joy or dread to each of us. The first quarter is over and it’s time to check and see if our son has really done his homework. His report card and teachers will tell us.

I think the new school year is a good time to look at our goals for the year. But not for our kids. Husbands and wives should sit down and think about the school year and goals they have for their own marriage. Sometimes we put our mom and dad hats on more often than we do our Husband and Wife hats. Most likely you were husband-and-wife first before you were mom and dad (although I know that’s not always the case). So as you help your child to pass math this year, or to make the basketball team, ask yourself these questions:

  1. How much time do I devote my spouse?
  2. What resources will I use? Books, online ministries, or weekend getaway marriage retreat?
  3. How much money will I spend on my spouse?
  4. How long will I practice doing what I need to do to improve my marriage?
  5. How will I track my progress or keep myself accountable?
  6. After God, is my husband my priority?

I encourage husbands and wives to apply some of the same principles they do to their kids to their own marriage. Think about it. We encourage Johnny to practice the piano, shoot free throws, or to do more math problems in order to improve. So why not apply that to ourselves? I encourage you to give yourselves a report card for the first quarter.

How am I communicating? Am I being a good listener? Do I talk too much? Or not enough? How am I doing with resolving our disagreements? We all know it takes two to tango and also two to fight. It also takes two to make up. You are not responsible for your spouse’s actions or words, so just concentrate on your own attitude and behavior. That alone will save you a lot of heartache and frustration. Read More→

Comments Comments Off on New Beginnings

Upgrade Mentality

Posted by: | Comments Comments Off on Upgrade Mentality

phoneI have been thinking a lot lately about my phone. You see, I have made it last another 2 years and my current contract is up.  So, I can upgrade to a new phone.  Undoubtedly, a sleeker, cooler, faster, better, prettier, smarter phone.  So, a month ago, I started researching phones (again).

Then a funny thought entered my head while I was driving home from lunch:  Why do I even have to or want to upgrade my current phone?

Seriously, what’s wrong with it?

After a few feeble protests from my big SELF, I concluded that I do not HAVE to upgrade at all.  I won’t go through all my reasonings here, because that would take too long and would be very boring for you.  However, I will say that it made me think about my mentality:  it’s all about upgrading.  It reminds me of what some people were saying way back when that “we’ve become a throw away society”: just throw it away if it doesn’t work for you anymore, doesn’t fit you, etc.  Go buy or get another _______.”

I wonder, well, actually I don’t wonder anymore about this because I do believe we have so become accustomed to upgrading, throwing out the old & replacing things, that it has crept into our beliefs about marriages and our spouses: “Just divorce him; you can do better than him.”  We see it all around us, on TV, the internet, our family and friends’ marriages.

It seems also that people are not too fond of rules anymore.  Rules of any kind.  We want our freedom so much, but no constraints.  No limitations.  No consequences.  But there are consequences!  And some will learn the hard way.  I remember stealing candy bars as a 16 year old from the gas station. We met there so often that we knew the attendant by name!  I forget if my friend dared me or how it all started.  I recall feeling so terrified at first, afraid of getting caught. What would my mother do? {She was not the type to say, but rather DO if you get my meaning.}  But nothing happened the first time. Nor the second, third, and so on.  I started feeling less afraid.  I became bolder.  If I can steal one candy bar, why not two this time? Again, I succeeded.  (With hindsight, of course, this is one area you do not want your kid to succeed in!) Read More→

Comments Comments Off on Upgrade Mentality

How to Start a Business After Leaving the Military

Posted by: | Comments Comments Off on How to Start a Business After Leaving the Military

Whether you are retired after a long career in the military or serving your first tour of duty, it’s time to move on to civilian life and all that entails. You have a great skill set that made you invaluable in service to our country and now you’d like to put those skills to work in a business of your own.

Putting Your Skills to Work as a Civilian

It doesn’t really matter what you did in the service; there are skills that you acquired along the way and those are the skills that will make you a great entrepreneur. Some of what you’ll need as a business owner will be the skills that drove you up the ranks. These skills include being:

  • Highly organized
  • An effective leader
  • Detail oriented
  • A self-starter
  • Respectful of authority
  • Focused on winning
  • Astute at recognizing potentially dangerous outcomes

And those are just some of the skills you learned in the military that will help you achieve success in whatever line of work you wish to pursue. However, some skills may yet need developing. Read More→

Categories : Articles, Just for Her
Comments Comments Off on How to Start a Business After Leaving the Military

Fallout From Divorce: The 4 Fs

Posted by: | Comments Comments Off on Fallout From Divorce: The 4 Fs

No, heart-brokenthis isn’t about final grades, although I know we’re close to the end of the school year.

This blog is about the Fallout From Divorce. So, I’m going to talk about divorce in a marriage blog. Weird, huh? But as I’ve talked to so many people over the years, I’ve learned that is is actually quite good to talk about divorce in order to strengthen one’s marriage. Let me explain.

Most unhappy people think something like this: “I’m unhappy in my marriage; I’m tired of my husband. No one else has it as bad as I do.” So, they entertain the thoughts of leaving, of divorcing their spouse. They may or may not try counseling. And that counseling may or not be ‘successful.’ They start the divorce proceedings. They break the news to their family: The first F.

People do not have any idea how their family or their in-laws will respond to their announcement. Sometimes they think “It’ll be fine; they know how much we fight. They’ will understand where I’m coming from. It’s no big deal.” What they don’t realize is is that it will change their Family’s structure, how they relate to one another. People usually shy away thinking they don’t want to take sides and all. So they inadvertently ignore you. You stand to lose 2 families! Your great sister-in-law may now feel obligated to withdraw from you, especially if you’re the one initiating the divorce. Blood is thicker than water they say, and weddings, funerals and divorces will attest to that in some cases. If there’s kids from a previous marriage involved, what happens to them? Am I now called “my ex-stepmother”?

Holidays will be difficult.

The 2nd F: Your friends, or at least, couple friends will also change. You’re the odd woman out now. You’re divorced so it’s awkward to go to a party where’s there’s only couples.You may even NOT get invited, so as to spare you the pain of rejection. But it’ll still be painful and lonely sitting at home alone. Work parties where spouses are usually invited are now difficult. Our culture is still built on traditional family: husband, wife, and children. Read More→

Comments Comments Off on Fallout From Divorce: The 4 Fs

What Kind of Farmer are You?

Posted by: | Comments Comments Off on What Kind of Farmer are You?

I farmerhave been seeing too many couples lately, who have been married 25+ years, and who are ready to divorce.  The problems have been there for a long, long time.  They are reaping what they have knowing or unknowingly  sowed. It is a bit hard to think that they did not know what they were doing, but in my office, the sad but truthful facts are right there. Painful and in plain view, for us to see.  I am no farmer, but I do know that if I plant lettuce, I will not reap tomatoes!  If I sow beans, I will not grow corn!

How do they not know? you might ask me.  My guess is that

1. they (or one spouse) saw and ignored it;

2. they tried once or twice to uproot it;

3. they thought it was NBD (No Big Deal) at the time;

4. they lied to themselves about #1-3.

Denial is part of the problem usually.  Deception is right up there, beginning with myself:  I deceive myself, I think its NBD.  I tell my clients that that is a Red Flag Waving!  Jeremiah 17:9 states: “The heart is deceptive above all else; who can know it?”  Another Red Flag is when you start a sentence with, “It’s just a little problem” or “He’s just like that/he’s always been like that”. Or some version of that.  You can’t say, “she’s just a little pregnant”.  You look the other way.  You don’t want to deal with it now.  Later, you tell yourself.  You work around the problems, hoping they’ll “just go away”.  Resentment begins to build.  You begin to pull away or turn away from your husband.  You tell yourself lies and make adjustments and concessions.  “I’m taking care of the kids! They need me more!”  “It’s only for a little while, just til I get my business up and running, then we’ll take that weekend getaway”.  “It’ll get better after the kids ___________”.

Galatians 6:7 warns us that we “reap what we sow”.  Are we sowing words of affirmation into our husbands’ soul?  Are we sowing kind deeds?  Are we answering harsh words with a gentle response as Proverbs 15:1 tells us?  Am I going regularly to the Lord asking Him to cleanse my soul, so I don’t deceive myself?  What seeds am I watering today that will bring forth good fruit and not bad fruit?

Read More→

Comments Comments Off on What Kind of Farmer are You?

Everybody is a Rock Star

Posted by: | Comments Comments Off on Everybody is a Rock Star

Do HiRes-superwomanyou remember the movie, “The Incredibles?”  It’s one of my favorites.  A few things stand out about that movie:

#1  When the bad guy, Syndrome (Buddy Pine), says to Mr. Incredible, “If everyone is Super, then no one is”.  I think he was really hurt when Mr. Incredible told him (when he was young) that he works alone (“Sorry kid, I work alone”). So, he grows up and becomes a genius inventing super powers that he can control.  It seems that nowadays, everyone can do that too:  We can ALL become a Rock Star with a little help, of course,  from Garage Band, iTunes, You Tube, etc.  We can all self promote, self publish, and get a million hits on our website.  We can all be bloggers too! We all are in effect Rock Stars now.  I wonder, then, are we realy?  My answer to that is, yes and no.  On the one hand, I believe that for those of us who follow Jesus, yes, we are His beloved little Rock Stars.  Just like when my sons put on a Superman  Cape, they ‘were’ Superman.  They were my little Supermen, running around, jumping off couches & trying to fly, saving the world from the bad guys.  They were cute to watch and I smiled a lot.

I also knew, as their loving mom, their limitations: I knew they weren’t really going to fly, or always catch the bad guy in real life.  Jesus loves me just as I am, warts and all.  My crazy schemes to help marriage improve, to  save the world or whatever.  I know He loves me as the child I am: cute, funny, immature at times, distrusting at other times, and usually wanting to please Him, my loving Parent.  Just like my sons were when they were little rock stars in my eyes.  {They are now just bigger, older, but they’re still my little big rock stars!}

On the other hand, we are all NOT Rock Stars.  We all put our underwear on the same every morning.  At the end of the day, we all go to bed, hopefully surrounded by loved ones.  As a wonderful friend pointed out to me, “at the end of the day, what does it matter if I am a Rock Star?  My husband, children are what REALLY matters, not being a famous Rock Star.” Read More→

Comments Comments Off on Everybody is a Rock Star

The Flintstones teach BOUNDARIES IN MARRIAGE

Posted by: | Comments Comments Off on The Flintstones teach BOUNDARIES IN MARRIAGE

I’ve couplebeen thinking a lot about the sanctity of marriage. I’ve thought about friendships with the opposite sex and how that has changed over the past decade or so.

Having friends while married is a good thing I believe, for both men and women. I think of the cartoon, The Flintstones, and watched it while growing up.

Fred’s best friend was Barney, who he could to talk to, go to the lodge with, and go bowling. Wilma had Betty to chat with, cook with, and to watch Pebbles if she had to go to the quarry.

It was healthy.

They lived life together, played together and were around one another a lot. They were also separate: two different marriages with four unique but different individuals.

But I don’t recall Fred ever going somewhere alone with Betty, nor Barney with Wilma. Why not? Well, for one thing, I believe they, cartoon characters notwithstanding, respected each others’ spouses and the boundaries inherent in a healthy happy marriage.

Trouble will come when one spends too much alone time with the opposite sex. Even if you are their best friends.

Lest you think I am from the dinosaur age, I am not! However, when I hear of a spouse spending more time away from home, away from their spouse, I start to hear “Danger, Danger!” (from Lost in Space series-another old favorite of mine). Danger can and often does come.

So, consider these warning signs and ask yourself these questions:

* Would you want your spouse to __________ {whatever you’re doing with a member of the opposite sex, texting, talking, having weekly or often coffee/lunch/meetings, etc.} ?
* Would you advise your best friend to do what you’re doing?
* Are you spending more time with your spouse than __________ ?
* Would your grandmother approve of your behavior/speech/thoughts?
* Would your pastor/bible study leader counsel you to keep doing ___?

If you’ve answered no to those questions, be forewarned! Trouble has arrived at your doorstep. Reconsider now!

If you answer yes to these 2 questions, you are seriously in deep doo-doo:
* Do you find yourself thinking of him often during the day, wondering what he’s up to?
* Do you go out of your way to call or text him or go to the gym, when you know he’ll be there?

Now is the time to flee this temptation!

Read More→

Comments Comments Off on The Flintstones teach BOUNDARIES IN MARRIAGE


Posted by: | Comments Comments Off on LEAN ON ME

pam-leanonI was listening to my favorite oldies station today and “Lean on Me” was playing. Here are some of the lyrics for those who don’t know the song (by Bill Withers, 1972):

Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there’s always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on…

It has a nice beat to it and I think a good message too. We all have pain, we do all have sorrow at some in our lives. Sometimes it’s in our childhood, sometimes later in life. Marriage is the ideal place and our spouses are the ideal people we could lean on during those tough times. But sadly, it may not be the case for many. Perhaps we’re very independent so we go through life with the attitude of “I’ll do it my way, I don’t need anyone”. By most people’s definition of marriage, marriage is not the place to live out and practice that idea. Singlehood is. Read More→

Comments Comments Off on LEAN ON ME


DLD cover so You want to be a work at home mom sps
70 align=

About CWAHM:

** Disclaimer **
The views expressed by the bloggers on this website are not necessarily the views held by or it's owners. Please see our Statement of Faith for details on what we believe.

About Us | Privacy Policy